Chapter 17: On Fire
"Good afternoon, gentlemen."
"Good afternoon, Lord Zuko." The planning room was full of commanders, advisors, and various other men who had served his father, and who now served him. They dutifully responded to his greeting as he strode through the grand double doors towards the head of the long discussion table. Although they had all greeted him politely, Zuko could feel their eyes, calculating and measuring as he settled into his seat. He looked down the table at the double row of solemn faces on either side. The room was dim, lighted only by torches and lamps on the walls and table. Flame red tapestries and the sigil of the Fire Nation hung on the wall behind him. Iroh sat on his right, the only true pillar of support in a roomful of distrustful old men. Time to get to work.
"First matter of business: the war."
A man three places down on the left side stood up and bowed.
"Commander Shen." Zuko acknowledged him. The fifty-year-old man was a veteran of war, and had served Zuko's grandfather even before Ozai's rule. Shen had served three generations of Fire Lords now, and Zuko knew he was someone to be reckoned with. Thankfully, the man was entirely loyal to the Fire Nation, and was not an adept politician. That meant Shen concerned himself with winning the war, no matter who it was sitting in the throne. Zuko knew there was no threat from this man.
Shen gave another polite bow before speaking. "Our armies are well under way, your Highness, but recently a troubling matter has arose and needs your attention now."
Commander Shen turned to the giant map that covered one wall of the room. Red dots were the Fire Nation, Green dots the Earth Kingdom, and Blue dots the Water Tribes. There were precious few blue dots, and the red dots were surrounding the green slowly and effectively. The red dots and green dots were almost equally matched, but it was apparent that the red was quickly gaining in numbers, based on their strategic positions.
"In the past," Commander Shen began, "the opposition against us has been relatively weak. The renegade armies in the forests of the Earth Kingdom did not band together, instead, they fought in separate factions against our great army, and majority of the time, did not have a leader capable enough to unite them into one force. As we all know, it was a weak strategy. Divided, they fall. United, they might have some chance. Thankfully, they never figured that little piece of wisdom out."
This provoked a low chuckle around the table. Zuko permitted himself a small smile at Shen. The man was popular, and had the support of many of the other commanders present. It would not do Zuko harm to show Shen a little approval now and then.
"Unfortunately," Shen continued, now somber again. "They seem to have gained a few intelligence points since our first great Fire Lord began this glorious war. They have learned, and I have been hearing things from my intelligence gatherers over the past few months."
The room was silent now, listening to this piece of news. Something bad was definitely happening if the enemy had gotten smarter. The Fire Nation had always been two steps ahead of everyone else in the field of warfare. Would that finally change now?
Shen looked to Zuko for the go-ahead, and Zuko nodded, feeling reassured. The old commander had not had to make a show of looking for the young Fire Lord's permission to speak. The fact that he did showed the other councilmen that Shen respected Zuko and saw him as a ruler worth commanding under. It was a sign of clear support.
"From what I have heard, the previously scattered Earth Kingdom armies are starting to gather in this area." Shen pointed to a group of green dots on Earth Kingdom land. It was not located near the sea, so a sea battle was out of the question. It was located further inland, deep in the forests of the kingdom. A smaller number of blue dots was camped right next to them. "What is even more disturbing is the fact that Water Tribes have also begun sending men to the location."
Shen turned to look directly at Zuko. The Fire Lord made his gaze calm and attentive. He would show Shen the same respect Shen had shown Zuko.
"As far as I know, they haven't started anything yet. They have not engaged in battle with any of our own forces, and-"
"Do we even have any forces in that area?"
All heads swiveled from Shen to look at the man who'd interrupted the revered commander. Zuko felt a curl of distaste inside him, but showed nothing on the outside. He couldn't play favorites.
It was Huang, Adia and Sakai's father. The old nobleman stood up slowly from his seat, slightly stooped from age. Huang had no history in the army. He'd never served as a soldier, much less a commander of Shen's rank. He had no strategic education, no physical training, and an average Firebending ability. The only reason he was in this room was because of his inherited wealth. Adia and Sakai's father came from a long-standing, respected line that was almost as old as Zuko's own family tree. And they had money. Lots of it. Most of which Zuko needed in order to keep operations going.
It was all about the politics. And Huang loved to wave it over their heads, the fact that he was needed and they could do nothing but pretend to respect him in order to get to his wealth.
Fucking old geezer. Zuko thought, a polite look on his face. The only reason you're in hear is because we need your gold. Your money is indispensable. And instead of helping your country like a loyal citizen, you prefer to shove it in our faces and interfere with matters of war, matters which you don't understand and will never understand.
Shen, a bit tenser than before, turned from his map and gave Huang a polite, inquiring look. "You asked if we had troops stationed in the area."
"Yes." Huang said imperiously.
Shen, the same neutral mask on his face as Zuko had, nodded his head and returned to his map. "As you can see, we do not currently control the area that the Earth army is gathering in-"
"Why not?"
The commander tensed even more, but showed no other indication of annoyance at Huang's interruption. "Because it is so far inland, and our ships can only land on coastline, getting our soldiers into that forest was always a problem. Supply lines and long days of marching would be required, and to what gain? There was never anything there worth taking except for lots of trees. No trading ports, no needed resources, and no populated towns or cities. It's an empty land filled with wood and animals."
"I bet you regret it now. If we had an army there, we wouldn't be having this problem right now."
Zuko had to refrain from rolling his eyes at Huang. Several other men at the table didn't seem to have the same control Zuko did, and gave each looks of exasperation. Putting men in that forest before would have been a complete waste of resources, time, and soldiers. There were other areas that needed attention. Huang obviously thought himself the smart one for pointing out their insignificant overlook.
Shen gave Huang a suffering look. "True. But there was no need for our armies there before."
"But there is now."
A few sighs resounded around the room. Zuko felt it was his time to speak up, in order to prevent any further waste of meeting time by Huang.
"Thank you." Zuko nodded at Huang and Shen. The two men glared at each other, but kept silent in the presence of their Fire Lord. It bit at Zuko to have to pretend to be grateful to Huang, but four years of exile had taught him lessons. Banishment had taught Zuko that control was the ultimate tool in dealings with other men. Since he'd lost control of his tongue last time he'd been in this room at the age of fourteen, and his father's anger-
Zuko cleared his head without changing his outside expression. He didn't need to go into bad memories. Now was not the time.
"We thank you for your concern and precaution, Huang." Zuko continued smoothly. "Now I think it would benefit us all if we let Commander Shen continue his briefing. I personally am a little behind on certain matters, and it would be a great help to me if I could catch up to the rest of you."
Several murmurs of assent and agreement echoed around the room. Zuko had humbled himself in the eyes of his men, and it had helped them believe in him all the more. He had proved that he wasn't an arrogant, hotheaded teenager who knew nothing about ruling a country. He had recognized his own faults and asked them to make time for his shortcomings. Zuko saw General Tzu give him an approving glance and Admiral Gen nod slowly.
Zuko relaxed a bit inside. This was going better than he had thought. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Huang exchange a look with his son. Sakai had recently been promoted to Commander of his own small fleet. But not because Zuko had wanted the promotion for Huang's son. It was because Zuko had needed Huang's money, and the moron had been making allusions to his son's wish about moving up in the army. It had pained Zuko to pass up several other, more promising men for the position, but Huang had needed to be appeased. The father and son duo were his greatest opposition since he had first taken the throne. Fortunately for Zuko, nobody else liked them all that much either.
Shen was speaking again. "Although there are not many of them, the Water Tribe people sent to convene with the Earth Kingdom do pose a threat to us."
He paused, as if he had difficulty saying the next few words. "As you all very well know… water is our- is our country's greatest… weakness." Shen said stiffly, and all the other men at the table looked a bit uncomfortable. It pained them all to have to acknowledge weakness. "Thankfully, there are not many of them. But in the natural order of all things, everybody knows water drowns out fire."
There was a bit of silence before Shen rushed on. "However, if we can manage to outnumber these Waterbenders, and slowly destroy them, we will regain our previous advantage." Shen looked at Zuko again. "The Waterbenders are probably our biggest threat in our coming plan to defeat the gathering enemy army."
The recently promoted Commander Sakai stood up arrogantly. "Everybody knows water is a weakness for even the most powerful and noblest Fire Lor-, I mean, Bender." The tiniest smirk graced a corner of his lips. Huang smirked as well from his seat.
The entire room fell silent. Nobody had missed Sakai's little "stumble".
Zuko gripped the arms of his chair silently, knowing that he hadn't misheard that indirect little insult from Sakai. Was the other man pointing to rumors about himself and Katara? Was Sakai condemning his Fire Lord for his supposed "obsession" with the Waterbender girl? Insubordinate bastard!
Zuko's
hands clenched even tighter. There were in a fucking war conference.
This was no place to bring personal battles out into the light. It
was no place to promote the spread of rumors, especially ones that
were demeaning to the Fire Lord. It was pure rebellion. Sakai was
pushing it, probably at the encouragement of his father. How was Zuko
going to handle this?
With control and diplomacy. However much he
wanted to kill Sakai at that moment, causing his death was not going
to help Zuko's standing in the eyes of his men. And Huang would
most likely withdraw his support and wealth from the war.
Zuko quickly weighed it all in his mind. His pride again his country's need to win this war. Which one would he give up?
There was no choice of course. Zuko would do what was required of him.
The roomful of war generals and advisors were looking to him to see how he would take this. Well Zuko would show them he wasn't the same loudmouthed adolescent boy he had been four years ago.
Zuko inclined his head politely. "True, water is the one weakness of every Fire Bender, including everyone from the noblest Fire Lord to the richest Fire citizen. But however weak they are, both are needed in order to win a war for our great country."
Huang's lips tightened as a small chuckle rumbled through the room. Zuko had handled it diplomatically, making a joke out of the rumors and still sending the smallest insult back towards Huang and Sakai. They would not be able to take offense at it, since Zuko had also included the fact they were needed in the same sentence. He had insulted them and complimented them at the same time. Zuko had turned the barb back on Sakai.
Commander Shen had a small genuine smile on his lips as he turned back to the map. "In order to neutralize this threat, we will need to take the effort to send soldiers into the forest. It is a long, long way from the coastline, where our ships will dock. A month of sailing. Maybe another month or two of heaving marching. Then we'll have to find their exact location and move our men into position in order to begin a battle. Just the gathering of information and planning of strategy might take another month. Moving a gigantic force like our army over rugged terrain and through thick forests will not be easy. Supplies will need to be taken, which means wagons and horses and other pack animals will have to come with us. The enemy will have many chances for sabotage."
The room was silent and serious again. This was no joke.
"This will be the biggest war operation since the very beginning of the war." Shen said finally. "We need to disband this army before they get too strong, and destroy the Waterbenders. They have a natural advantage against us, and we need to take care of them before they become too powerful."
"We have another advantage." Zuko said, giving Shen an apologetic nod for interrupting. The commander graciously accepted it. "If you remember, when I returned from exile, I brought the Avatar back with me."
Low murmurs and raised eyebrows greeted Zuko's declaration.
"That's very good news." Admiral Gen said slowly. "I think most of us had forgotten about that."
"How would we turn the Avatar to our advantage though?" General Marzu wondered out loud.
"Just letting them know that we possess the famous Avatar will destroy half their army's hope." Iroh said dismissively. "And you know that if an army has no hope, they have lost the will to fight."
Zuko spoke up again. The minute he did, all other side conversations ceased. I could get used to this. "If you remember, I brought a second prisoner back with me. A Water Tribe girl who happens to be a very close friend of the Avatar's. He cares for her very much." He turned away from the voice in his head that was screaming dirty words at him. You're using her again! You're using her against her own friend!
Zuko had to do what he had to do for his country. He finally felt the burden of the entire nation press down on his shoulders. He wished he had the ruthlessness of his father. He wished he didn't care so much. He wished he weren't so goddamn soft and emotional.
He could feel Iroh's eyes pin him questioningly. His uncle was the only who knew the exact truth about Katara. Zuko plowed on. "Sufficient… threats against the well-being of the Water girl might be enough to… convince the Avatar to our side of reasoning."
More nods and words all around. Several men eyed him, surprised. That statement of using threat and force had been such an Ozai-like sentence. They had underestimated their new Fire Lord. New-found respect shone in their faces.
Zuko sat back in his chair. Steel determination and mercilessness was what Fire Nation commanders respected. And that was what he had shown. With that statement, he had dispelled most of the rumors floating around the he might actually care for Katara. He had shown himself to be a man whose only goal was to rule the world. Not to gain the love of a woman.
He hadn't known it would hurt this much. This lying, this pretending, this betrayal, it all hurt. But that was what being Fire Lord was all about, right? Swallowing your own pain in order to stop the pain of your people. To give up the thing you most wanted in life, whether it was love or something else, in order to do what was required of you.
And for Zuko, that meant giving up Katara. He wasn't ready to make the choice. He didn't want to make the choice.
But it seemed as if Zuko the Fire Lord had already made the choice for Zuko the Man.
After being thrown out of the palace, and subsequently getting thrown out of Kotzut, Sokka had spent the last few weeks moping about in the countryside surrounding the capital city. He'd come upon Toraai, a smaller town not very far away from Kotzut. He lived there for several weeks, buying food at the marketplace with the money Zuko had given him. Every time he used it, Sokka felt like killing the Fire Lord. It hurt his pride to know that if it weren't for the money Zuko had given him, Sokka would have been starving and begging by now.
But life was life, and Sokka had to keep on living it, even if he was all alone. Without Aang, and without his sister. Katara occupied majority of his thoughts. What was happening to her? What had happened to her? And why hadn't she trust him enough to tell him what was going on? That hurt. It hurt that his own sister hadn't had enough faith in Sokka to trust him with information.
He spent awhile lamenting his fate and position in life. He had no idea where he was supposed to go now. His travels with Aang and Katara had been a wonderful adventure, and now that they were gone, Sokka had nothing left for him.
Until the day he stepped into a small, run-down restaurant on the outskirts of Toraai. After buying himself a quick lunch, he sat down at one of the back tables in a dark corner. He wasn't feeling like company.
A shadowy cloaked figure dropped down suddenly into the chair next to him.
"Hey, that's taken-" Sokka began, intent on driving the visitor off, before the stranger held up a hand.
"You've recently come from Kotzut, yes?" The voice was nondescript, but definitely male. It was non-threatening and non-aggressive. Just a polite inquiry.
Sokka was wary at first. "What's it to you?"
"You were in the palace, right?"
Now Sokka was intrigued. "How do you know?" He demanded.
"That doesn't matter." The stranger waved a hand dismissively.
Sokka was about to argue that it did matter when the stranger dropped the bombshell.
"And you left your sister behind with the Fire Lord, didn't you?"
"I didn't want to-" The Water warrior started, before realizing what the stranger had just said. "You- you know about Katara? You know about my sister?"
The stranger nodded, and Sokka could somehow feel that he was pleased. "I do."
"Is she alright? What is Zuko doing to her? Is Aang still there? How did you find me? What do you want from me? Who are you?" A rush of questions spilled from Sokka's mouth.
The stranger grinned in the shadows of his hood. "You can call me Zhao."
Zhao. Sokka thought. A common enough and simple enough name.
"As for what I want from you…" The stranger just offered Sokka a hand. "I'm here to begin a business relationship with you, Sokka. A business relationship that will benefit the both of us."
"How benefit?"
"Well, to start off, we both have the same enemy."
"Huh?"
"The Fire Lord, dear boy, the Fire Lord."
"You mean Zuko?"
"Exactly. He's done wrong to both of us, and if I'm right, you are seeking revenge for the honor of you sister, are you not?"
An old hatred ignited inside Sokka. Yes he wanted revenge against Zuko. He'd been looking for a way to get back at the Fire Lord, and here was an opportunity that had literally dropped in at his table. "Yes, I do. I want to kill him."
A low chuckle from Zhao. "We already have a common interest."
"What did he do to you?"
"It's not so much what he did…. Well maybe it is. He took something away from me. Something he doesn't deserve. Something that he received only because he happened to be born into the right family, by pure luck."
"And you want to get your… whatever it is back from Zuko?"
Another laugh. "Yes, the same as you want your sister back."
"I do want Katara back. I think he's done something to her." Sokka sounded unsure now. "I think… I mean, last I talked to her, she seemed almost like she supported him. I'm not even sure she wants to leave!" Sokka turned to Zhao, his new friend. "Isn't that crazy?"
"No, no, Sokka, don't blame your sister." The man said soothingly. "That Zuko probably has her brainwashed, or he's threatening her with something. Probably the life of the Avatar. It's definitely not her fault. He's got her under his control."
Sokka's resolve strengthened, and he sat up eagerly.
Zhao held out his hand again. "So, are we in this together or not?"
Sokka took only the slightest second to decide. He clasped his hand with Zhao's and shook heartily.
"I'm in."
The first thing Katara noticed when Zuko came back from his important meeting was that he refused to meet her eyes.
"Did everything go okay?" She inquired.
"Fine." He answered her. "I told you that I had to promote Sakai, right?"
Katara grimaced. "Because his daddy has so much money?"
"Exactly. Well he was really the only problem today."
"He still hates me, doesn't he?"
"Of course."
"Tell him for me that the feeling's mutual."
Zuko finally cracked a grin at her. She smiled back. "I would, but I can't risk offending Father Huang anymore." His tone was sarcastic when he said Huang's name. "I might have pushed it too far today."
"What did he do to piss you off?"
"Insulted me. In front of a whole war council."
"Insulted me or you?"
"Me…. But you indirectly."
"Was it something about us… you know? The rumors?"
"Yeah."
"Those never bothered you. Ignore them, right?"
"Well I can't when he's insubordinately rebelling against me. If I back down, it'll just show the rest of the men that I'm weak and undeserving of being Fire Lord."
"Oh. So how'd you handle it?"
"The same way you handled Adia."
"I see." She smiled. "It must have gone well then."
He noticed her tray was still more than half-full. The water was gone, and the salad was gone. But everything else still remained. He made no comment on it. If she was feeling poorly or anything else, he'd notice. Maybe she just didn't eat all that much.
Zuko sat down after removing his outer armor. "And something else has come up."
"What?" She asked, not really worried about anything.
"War."
"Of course war. It's always war." Her tone was bitter and angry this time.
"Katara-"
"Just spit it out, will you?"
"There's a… problem we have to take care of." Why was he feeling so uncertain about telling her about this? Since when did she have the ability to make him feel guilty with just a few words? Since he'd started caring about what she thought.
"An enemy you have to defeat?"
"Yes."
"Who is it this time?"
"The Earth Kingdom." Zuko did not mention the Water Tribes joining the Earth Kingdom. She didn't need to worry about it. And he did not want to see her anger and hatred anymore.
"Oh. I thought you were already done conquering them."
Zuko ignored her sarcastic voice. "They're gathering together in a significant force. It's dangerous and we have to take care of it. Unfortunately, they're nowhere near the coastlines so we can't get them with our ships. We'll have to sail there and march into the forest."
"When do we leave?"
"You're not coming."
"What?" Her response was incredulous. "You're just going to leave me here?"
"Yes."
"I can escape, you know."
Zuko looked at her, a pained expression on his face. "Do you… still want to?" He wanted to know the answer, but he didn't want to hear it either. If she said no…
But Katara said nothing, just crossed her arms and glared at him. "I can escape if I want to. Your guards are nothing to me. If you're not here, I can leave easily."
"Don't make me lock you up in a cell, Katara."
"I'm not making you do anything!"
"I'm taking the Avatar with me."
Her jaw dropped. "You're taking Aang? What for?"
"For the reason we capture him in the first place. To win this war."
"He's not going to work for you. He won't do what you say. He'll never compromise his ideas and his friends for you."
"Yes he will. When I tell him I have you back here at the castle, and at a single order from me, carried by a messenger back to the palace, bad things could happen to you. Painful things." Zuko said it, eyes locking with hers.
Katara felt like she couldn't breath for a moment. She felt like a fish out of water. His burning gold eyes held her still, stripping away everything she'd thought she'd known about him.
"If Aang cares anything for you, he'll do what I say."
She finally drew a shaking breath deep into her lungs. "And if he doesn't? If he doesn't care for me?" The way you obviously don't now.
"It won't come to that." It was the closest thing he came to admitting that he would never submit her to torture and pain. That he just couldn't do it.
Katara finally understood, and relaxed back onto the couch, relief flooding through her. "It's an empty threat, then."
"The only people who know that are you and me."
Katara stood up and walked over to the bed, slipping under the sheets. He followed her, letting all the strains of the day flow out from his mind.
Zuko continued. "The Avatar doesn't know that there is this-" He kissed her forehead. "And this-" He wrapped an arm around her, bringing her closer to his chest. "And this-" He breathed softly into her hair.
Katara
stared up at the ceiling. I shouldn't be letting him do this. I
shouldn't let him trick Aang. I shouldn't let him use my friend.
I shouldn't be falling in love with the enemy. There were so
many things she shouldn't be doing, and yet she did them. To keep
from thinking about all her obligations, she engaged in meaningless
conversation.
"Have you ever fallen in love?" She said
easily, as if she were asking about the weather.
"You mean… you mean before now?"
She swallowed hard. Did he consider himself in love now? Or was he just making empty promises, the way he had made empty threats? She wanted to believe him.
"Yes. Meaning before now."
"Not really. Being banished for four years from your homeland doesn't give you much time to get out and mingle. You?" He sounded hesitant.
She laughed softly. "I had a little crush when I was eleven."
"What was his name?" Zuko asked.
"Jealous?"
"No." He said defensively. "Just curious."
"I was eleven, Zuko. It doesn't matter. But his name was Juiko, and he was the cutest boy in my tribe. Dark hair, brown eyes, and whenever he smiled at me, my preteen heart just melted." Katara laughed at her own foolishness. "It was puppy love, and I know he saw me as just a friend. It was fun while it lasted though."
"Where is he now?"
"I'm… not sure. He must be nineteen now? Twenty? Hopefully he's still alive." A sad, twisted smile graced her face. That seemed to be the way she thought about most people from her old tribe. Hopefully they are still alive. With the current situation, you could never be sure. You could return home after several month's traveling and find that your whole family was dead. Zuko had returned to the Fire Nation to find his father dead. Katara wondered how Gran-Gran was doing. Was her beloved grandmother still alive?
Katara sighed and burrowed her head deeper into his shoulder. "You really won't let me go with you?"
"You really want to come?"
"If I said yes, would that change your mind?"
"No. But why do you want to come?"
"I don't want to stay here by myself. I don't know anyone else, Zuko. The minute you're gone, my protection is gone. I'll just be a stranger in a cage filled with snarling beasts who don't care for my well-being."
"Aren't you being just a little dramatic?"
"No. I'm a Waterbender, Zuko. Everybody here sees me as the enemy."
"They won't harm you. I'll make sure of it."
"You'll be an ocean away. Who knows how long the news of my death will take to reach you?"
"Stop being so dramatic! You won't die." Zuko rolled his eyes.
"You might die."
"Quite possible."
"You could just let Aang go and stop this war right now."
"Not possible."
"Yes it is if you would just-"
"Well, maybe, but only in the sense that the war will end when I win."
"I don't want you to die, but I don't want you to win either."
Zuko turned to look her straight in the face. "You don't support me? You don't wish me the best of luck and hope that I'll escape with minimal damage?"
"I don't support either side now-"
"Well I've finally convinced you to abandon your original side. You're halfway to a full conversion by now."
"No. I don't support the Earth Kingdom side because I don't see how they can possibly win." She stated, matter-of-factly. "They'll be wasting their soldiers' lives. But I don't support you because I don't believe your take-over-the-world philosophy is right, Zuko. I might care for you, but I don't care for what you are doing."
"How do you define right, Katara? Who do you think you are? A god? That you are so powerful that you can dictate what is right and what is wrong?"
"I know that killing people is wrong, Zuko!"
"What about killing a murderer, hm? Wouldn't you be helping the world by killing a killer?"
"That's different-"
"Why is it up to you to determine what is wrong, and what is an exception to your almighty rules of life?"
"What about you? Aren't you pretending to be god just by thinking you can control the entire world? Why is it up to you to determine what is right or wrong, good or evil?"
"I'm not playing god! I'm just doing what is required of me! What my country wants me to do!"
"Your country doesn't want you to do anything, Zuko! Do you truly believe that your people want you to wage war on another country? Do you truly believe that they prefer fighting instead of peace?" She was almost pleading with him, trying to convince Zuko that there was another side to all of this violence.
But he refused to see. "It's been this way for over a century! If someone had a problem with it, they would have said something by now!"
"You idiot!" She hissed at him. "Don't you ever stop to think that they might be scared to object? They might be afraid of being called traitors and betrayers? That they don't speak up because they don't want to jeopardize their lives? You can't think that everyone in the Fire Nation honestly believes in all the same things you do! They're not clones of you, Zuko, they are individuals!"
"How would you know anything about the Fire people, Katara? How could you possibly think that my people would be anything but supportive of-"
"Think about your soldiers!" Katara burst out at him. "Think about the families they are leaving behind. Don't you think that after a hundred, long, long years, a grandmother might begin to get tired of it all? Think about it. Her father died in war. Her brothers died fighting a faceless enemy. Her husband probably died right after they got married. She maybe managed to have two sons and a daughter. The minute her sons grow up, they are sent to the army. Maybe her daughter bears a few more children for her before her husband dies as well. Now there are grandchildren for this poor woman. And the minute they reach maturity, they are sent into the army and then they die!" She stared at him. "How could you possibly think that that woman might not begin to hate the war? It's taken everything away from her. Her family, her joy, and her life. She has nothing left except hatred for you and all your predecessors!"
"A Fire Nation citizen should be glad to contribute whatever they can to their country's cause."
"You're just repeating stupid propaganda, Zuko, and you know it! Don't tell me you still believe all that shit. Because it's not true."
"You know nothing about my country."
"And then I suppose you know nothing about loss, if you are so uncaring about the lives of your countrymen, and the emotions of those that remain alive."
"You know nothing!" Zuko all but shouted at her. Because he was scared now. Because he was starting to see the truth in her words. That there was something beyond what he had learned since he was a mere toddler. That all the things his tutors and father had taught him ("the soldiers are happy to die for their nation" and "their families are nothing but proud to have sons who served in the army") might not be so true after all. Katara was slowly and surely destroying the foundation of his world, all the things his life and throne and country were built upon. Just with a few simple words.
"I do know." Katara stared up at him, her blue eyes as clear and clean as truth. "Because I know what it is like to lose my family to war."
"Do you know what it feels like to lose yourself to a war?" He spat back bitterly. "Do you know what it's like to be trained for war from the minute you're born? To have everybody constantly remind you of your duty, your job, your honor? To have nothing else but war war war consuming your life? It is because of war that I am alive, and it is because of war that I will die. It's inevitable, and unstoppable."
Katara was no long angry at him. "No, I don't. I'm not you, Zuko, and you can't blame me for not being you. I'm sorry."
He let out a long, shaky sigh. "I don't, I don't blame you. It's not your fault."
"It's not unstoppable. The war isn't an immortal enemy. It can be stopped."
"The war isn't my enemy. It is the weapon I am using to defeat my real enemy."
"You can end this war." Katara said firmly. "I believe you will be the one to stop the fighting."
He laughed, a short, coarse, hopeless laugh. "And what makes you put all your faith in me, Katara? It's just a waste of your trust." Zuko ended bitterly.
She laughed gently, and reached up with one hand to brush his scarred cheek. "Because you can do anything, remember? You are the Fire Lord. The most powerful man in the world. You can do anything, including stopping a war."
"It's not that easy, Katara-"
"I know it's not. But it's still possible."
Zuko felt like tearing his hair out in frustration. "It's not possi-"
She placed one slim finger against his lips. "It's possible because I believe it is possible."
"You are unbelievably stubborn. Just because you say the sky is pink does not mean the sky is pink."
"Who says the sky isn't pink? Who says pink is not blue, and blue is not pink?"
"We are talking about a war, Katara, not pink skies."
Her eyes danced with laughter. "So you agree that the sky is pink?"
Zuko groaned in defeat. "How did you talk me into this?"
Katara just smiled. "If you love me, you will end this war." She didn't say it like a threat. She didn't say it like she was blackmailing him. She didn't say it like she was trying to convince him of something. She said it because she truly believed it.
"That's not fair-"
"Shhh."
The next week, Fire Lord Zuko and more than three hundred Fire ships left the harbor of Kotzut. Each ship carried over five hundred men.
Zuko stood at the bow of his flagship with several generals and commanders flanking him. They all watched silently as the harbor disappeared from view. The sheer number of ships was massive. The metal behemoths floating on the blue waves stretched out from horizon to horizon. Because there were so many of them, and orders could not be shouted from ship to ship, a cage of carrier birds were kept on each ship.
These gray, non-descript, but incredibly speedy birds were used to communicate between the captains of each ship. Over a hundred were kept on the flagship for the use of Zuko and his top commanders. They could be sent back to Kotzut as well, in order to keep up with what was going on at home. The little rolls of paper were kept in small pouches tied to the birds' legs.
Katara had not been awake when Zuko left her that early morning. She slept on, unconcerned with the events around her.
In her dreams, she gave birth to a deformed child.
Your son was born a twisted creature because a mixing of fire and water will only provide disastrous results. The disapproving voice of an imaginary doctor echoed in her head. There can never be a true union between the two elements. Nothing will ever come of your so-called "love". Just a hideous, deformed monster.
Katara screamed, both in her dream and out loud, as her faceless child was torn from her breast and thrown onto a hellish, burning fire. She tried to leap forward to save her baby, but something was holding her back. The flames beat at her face, and her body could not take the heat. She was not made for it. It felt like her heart was being ripped from her body and burned alive as well.
Zuko! She shrieked, blubbering and weeping hysterically. Zuko, save our child! SAVE YOUR SON!
But Zuko wasn't there. He couldn't save their child, because he was too busy off in some faraway land, fighting a war that Katara could not understand. All she could understand was that Zuko had abandoned her and her baby in their moment of greatest need. Why aren't you here? She raged. Why aren't you here to save me from the fire?
She looked back at the flames, and saw that her baby was only a burned-out skeleton surrounded by dirty gray ashes now. His skull gleamed at her from the shadows. Guilt and sorrow overwhelmed her, and she felt that she could never, ever love again.
Katara woke up, tears streaming down her face, her mouth shouting words she did not understand.
Leaping from the bed, she ran to the windows, and saw the last few ships in the Fire fleet disappear over the horizon.
He's gone.
A/N: Zuko is maturing! Can you tell? He hasn't had a temper blow-out in forever. He's keeping control even when other people piss him off. Now for your questions:
When will Katara tell Zuko about the baby?
Patience is a virtue.
Also, don't worry about what everyone else WANTS
you to do, just be yourself! Write what you think should happen, not
what would be most interesting!
You totally made
my day, Tora-Chan. Thanks so
much.
I realized it at work yesterday Sokka's going to team up with Zhou, isn't he? Both have
been kicked out of the city, both have VERY big reasons for getting
back into the palace, and both are running around with unknown
wherabouts.
This great reviewer, her name is Masako Moonshade, is
probably most likely psychic. Because she's predicted a bunch of stuff
happening and I think she is just really, really intelligent, or I'm
just being way too predictable. Or she's psychic. Always a possibility.
And you were thinking about this story at work? Heh. Hopefully I didn't
distract you too much from your work. Pay attention! Or else your boss
will fire you! Haha.
Will Adia be a big part of the story/You're
going to bring Adia back in, aren't you?
She might come back,
depending on whether or not I want to bring her back. She is a real
bitch, isn't she? Heh. I've always wanted to write someone like
her.
How does she come up with her nauseous spells, she
can't probably have books on telling her how she do it, since she is
always stuck in her room?
I'm not exactly sure
what you mean. You don't need books to tell you how to throw up.
It's a bodily function. And it's a natural thing that happens
with every pregnancy because of the release of excess hormones.
What is Zuko going to do with Aang? He is the
avatar so he should have some uses instead of just imprisoned in a
cage.
Do you really want me
to tell you now? Or maybe you get to read about it later in future
chapters. Yeah.
Seeing as Angel by Sarah McLachlan is my favorite
song, like, ever...I feel inclined to tell you that those lyrics
"weep not for the memories" don't come from Angel. They
come from I Will Remember You.
Congratulations
to Flame on the Water for
catching my mistake! You have sharp eyes, girl, yes you do (you caught my
ugly chain mistake too!). I love Sarah McLachlan as well, but I was
listeningto
Angel when I was writing the author's note about the lyrics from I
Will Remember You, so I got the two songs switched around in my
subconscious. Heh. Forgive me?
I would love it if you could please read my story?
It's called TITLE under MY NAME in the Avatar section.
I've gotten
several questions like this one. I would love to offer constructive
comments but seeing as a lot of people want me to read their stories,
I can't possibly get around to every single one of you and still
write my own story. And I won't play favorites and review one
person's but not another's. Sorry.
Did you see the last Avatar where, um--someone
rescues Aang?
YES, AMBER, YES I DID! THAT WAS
SOOOOOO COOL! It gave me bunches of inspiration too… yay!
what is Sokka up to?
This chapter answered
your question.
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. All original characters introduced (including Adia and her family) belong to me. Everything else belongs to the people who own Avatar. Don't sue, I have no money.
