Category:
Avatar: Last Airbender
Author:
RedNovember
Title: The
Hunter and the Prey
Pairing:
Zuko/Katara
Genre:
Romance/Action
Chapter:
18
Rating: T (PG-13) for
now, but if I have to up it to M (or R) I will.
Disclaimer: I do
not own any part of this series. However, the fanfiction written, the
plot contained and any original characters I write I do own.
A/N: I've never been pregnant before. In my life. Let me restate this again. I'VE NEVER BEEN PREGNANT BEFORE, AND I AM NOT PREGNANT CURRENTLY. Which means any mistakes concerning the progress of Katara's condition are mine and mine only. Tie me to a stake and burn me.
But for some of the details, I did a little research online at several sites. And my mom came in while I was looking at this "Pregnancy Schedule" and she was like… "What the hell are you looking at?" And what could I say? Research? "I'm expecting, Mom."? Well it worked out fine and we both laughed over it. Just thought you might like to know. Hah.
A/N 2: There were A LOT of questions from last chapter. They're all at the end, as usual. Except for ALAKSANDRA, who had SO MANY questions I just emailed her back instead of taking up too much space here. So check your inbox, Alaksandra.
NOTE TO ASIRA: I read your review, but could not find an email, in your profile or otherwise! So I'll just contact you here. The answer to your question: Yes, of course!
Chapter 18: Separation
For the first few days after Zuko left, Katara spent her time moping about in her room, trying not to think about the disturbing dream she'd had the morning of his departure. The grim skull of her dead child echoed in her mind, and she couldn't help but feel that this might be a premonition. She shook it away from her consciousness, and tried to think about something else.
He didn't even say goodbye! Katara's was outraged reaction when she'd learned that the fleet had left before dawn. And then, It was probably for the best. Teary, awkward farewells probably weren't their fortes.
Slowly, she began to see how her staying behind in Kotzut could play out to her own advantage. Zuko would be gone for five months or more. A month of two of sailing, another month to march into the enemy encampment, and depending on how long it would take the fight the actual battles, Zuko wouldn't be coming back for awhile. The return trip would be just as long.
And that was if he returned at all.
Another worry to add to her already long list. Is this how mother felt when father left for war? Katara wondered. Is this how every woman feels when she doesn't know whether or not her loved one will be coming back? Waiting was her biggest occupation now.
She tried reassuring herself. Zuko was the Fire Lord! How could she even think that he wouldn't have ample protection? He'd be surrounded by guards day and night, in order to ensure their Lord's safety. But things happened. Little things, like getting a rare disease, or getting thrown from the back of his horse. And assassinations. What if there was a traitor in the Fire camp? Poison? Spoiled food? A knife in the back? Many people wanted Zuko dead, Katara knew.
And it shamed her that she was no longer one of them. She was no longer an enemy of the Fire Nation. Because she loved the Fire Lord.If Zuko died out there, Katara slowly realized, that meant that this child in her belly was the next heir to the Fire Nation throne.
The mere idea caused her to fall short of breath.
Her next thought led her to laugh at herself. As if anyone in the Fire Nation would believe that this child was Zuko's! They would accuse her of being an enemy who was desperately trying to gain power over the Fire Nation by using the Fire Lord's fictional child as an excuse. She would be a power-hungry woman who wanted to rule the world through a tiny baby.
The would only believe her if Zuko were here to confirm it.
And even he didn't know she was pregnant.
Maybe I should have told him before he left. All her doubts and uncertainties came back in a rush. Then, No. If I'm not ready for this child, then he's definitely not ready. She could put it off until he came back from his little war campaign. Then all his troubles would be over and they could deal with this. They could always deal with it later.
Katara spent most of her days alone, with the occasional company provided by Kaz. Through several conversations, Katara slowly found out that the young servant boy lived in a tiny, rented, two-room house with his single mother and little sister. His father had died three years ago in –of course– the war. Kaz's mother worked two jobs, day and night. Kaz had no education, having worked in the palace since he was eight. The money went mostly to food, rent, and his little sister's education. She was their family's sole hope of getting out of poverty.
Kaz would join the army as soon as he was sixteen. He had limited Fire bending abilities, the common tricks like starting a fire and lighting a torch that anybody without training could achieve. His eyes glittering with hope and pride, he told Katara that once he was a soldier, he would send his paycheck home to his family.
Or as much of it as he could before he died of an arrow in the back. Katara felt anger rise as she heard the dreams and goals of the eleven-year-old boy.
She couldn't even attempt to discourage Kaz from joining the army. What other choices did he have? No one would be willing to teach an impoverished little boy a craftsman's trade. Kaz had no work experience aside from washing dishes and serving one woman her meals every day. The army required little other than a physical body and decent mind that could follow orders. Both of which Kaz had in eager possession.
It made her feel like a bitter old woman. And even worse, it made her feel helpless. Utterly pathetic. Here she was, beginning to swell with the child of her enemy (never mind that she loved him), unable to go anywhere outside the palace, and listening to the dreams of a preteen boy who would most likely die before the age of eighteen. And she could do nothing about it.
How had she gotten into this mess? Katara knew she was a better person than this. She wasn't meant to be a teenage mother. She was meant to do greater things than change diapers. She was meant to change the world.
She'd finally figured it out.
Love is blind. But it is not only blind. It is deaf, dumb, and fucking stupid as well.
Aang awoke from a deep, dreamless sleep. His groggy mind registered the strange, unfamiliar aftertaste in his mouth. So he'd been drugged. All he remembered was eating his usual meal and then feeling unnaturally tired afterwards. They must have put something in the soup.
It was pitch black around him, and shuffling forward on his butt (his limbs were tied up) he encountered the cold metal bars of a cell. He felt the slow rocking motion of the deck underneath him. He was back on board a ship. Aang tried to move his hands, but they were chained together behind him, the same as his legs.
A soft sound of footsteps caught his ear and he swung his head around in the darkness, frantically searching for the origin. He could see absolutely nothing, and terror began to grip him.
"Who's there?" He called out, a tremor in his voice. "I know you're here! Don't try to hide from me."
A sudden flare of light almost made Aang cry out and wince in pain. He hadn't seen sunlight in what, a month? Maybe more? Just the occasional torchlight from a guard. He must have been pasty white by now. He didn't know if this was some kind of torture tactic, making him fear the light. He didn't fear it, he just wasn't used to the brightness.
The burning flame was held in the palm of Zuko's hand. The light threw strange, malevolent shadows across the Fire Lord's face.
"Avatar." Zuko acknowledged him.
"Zuko." Aang replied slowly. "Where are we going now? Where are my friends?" He hadn't seen Sokka since that day, a month ago, when Sokka had been taken from the cell next to Aang's. And he hadn't seen Katara since the day they'd all arrived at the Fire Nation, and she'd finally realized he was there.
It was a long time to spend alone, without one's friends.
"Sokka has been let go." Zuko said unemotionally. "I have no idea where he is by now."
"And Katara?" Aang asked, a sinking feeling in his gut. If Sokka had been given his freedom, that meant Katara would only be kept for one purpose. Blackmail.
Aang's suspicions were confirmed when Zuko began to speak again. "Well, Avatar, her condition depends entirely on you."
Aang's mouth felt very, very dry. "You don't mean-"
"Yes I do mean what you think I mean." Zuko said easily. "Cooperate, and no harm will come to her. Refuse my orders, and…" His voice trailed off, leaving Aang's imagination to fill in the empty silence. And Aang's imagination was a wild one.
"You're bluffing." Aang said desperately.
"Would you like to test that theory?" Zuko's voice was cool and polite.
Aang swallowed. An image of Katara screaming in pain entered his mind. Aang tried to push it away, but knew now that if Zuko told him to get down on his knees and lick his boots clean, Aang would do it. It was not a matter of pride, arrogance, or honor anymore.
It was a matter of keeping Katara alive.
"Wh- what do I have to do?" Aang stammered. Here he was, the famous,
supposedly undefeatable Avatar, shaking like a leaf in fear of Zuko.
"As of now, nothing much." Zuko said. "Just don't escape. Don't try anything funny. Don't attempt to contact anyone."
"Okay. Okay."
"If you do misbehave," Zuko continued. "You won't be punished. You're much to valuable to be hurt."
"Wh- what?"
"But Katara will be punished. She will feel every little thing that you do wrong. Attempt to escape, and she'll have a small… accident. Attempt to sabotage our plans, and she'll bleed. Do you understand me?"
"You're evil!" Aang rasped out, trying to break free from his bonds. "You have no conscience, no respect for life! You aren't human!"
Zuko was silent for a moment, then spoke up again. "You're wrong. I am human. I am human in the fullest sense of the word. Animals live, sleep, eat, and die. Humans, on the other hand, have the ability to lie, cheat, steal, betray, and kill. They don't kill to survive, oh no. They kill for greed, lust, envy, and ambition."
Aang stared up at him, horrified.
"I'm much too evil to be called an animal, Avatar. So therefore I must be human."
"No." Aang said clearly. He tried to be brave. "You are right to a certain point, Zuko. Humans can do evil things like lying and stealing. But that's not all that defines a person. We can choose which side belong to. The evil, or the good. Not only can we steal and kill, but we have the ability to smile, laugh, and love. You, Zuko, only belong to one side, the lying and killing side." Aang took a deep breath.
And the Avatar delivered his final verdict to the Fire Lord. "You cannot smile, you cannot laugh, you cannot love. That is what makes you inhuman, Zuko."
After Aang finished speaking, the dark of the ship was absolutely silent. He began to fear that he had made a bad decision. Had he angered the Fire Lord? Had he misbehaved, and would Katara now be punished for it? Terror for his Water bender friend bubbled up inside him, and he regretted saying his words.
Zuko extinguished the light, and Aang could see nothing. "You are quick to judge, Avatar."
Aang chose to keep his mouth shut.
"One day, your stupid assumptions will kill you. In fact, if you weren't so important to my war, then I might kill you for your idiotic judgments right this minute. Really, what makes you think you know anything about me?" Cold fury underlined Zuko's words.
The Avatar did the smart thing and did not say a word. He had already angered the Fire Lord, and if he did so again, Katara might very well get hurt.
"You know nothing." Zuko spat out at his silent captive. "You know absolutely nothing about my humanity."
Aang heard footsteps turn around and he saw a rectangle of light appear as Zuko opened the door to the deck above. Then it slammed shut, obliterating all light and hope, leaving Aang in complete darkness.
I'm getting fat.
Katara examined herself in the full mirror in the bathroom.
I've been doing nothing since I got here except eat, sleep, and shit. No walking, no running, no traveling, no exercise! I just lie in bed and get fat.
She ran her hand over her rounded abdomen, sighed, and returned to reality. A reality where she wasn't fat, but something else.
I wish it was just fat. I could deal with fat easily.
Aside from her slightly raised abdomen, she was most likely losing weight. She'd been a slim girl originally, and when she'd started eating less in order to hide her nausea from Zuko, her body had taken nourishment from itself in order to support the child. Well now that Zuko was gone, she could eat as much and throw up as much as she wanted to.
It had been over two weeks since Zuko had left. Katara counted back. That was three and a half months. And as far as she knew, it was all developing nicely. For the two hundred and eighteenth time, Katara wished there was another woman here she could depend on and ask questions. Back in her tribe, her aunt on her mother's side had been the village midwife. Katara had been present at births before, knew how it worked, and had watched both successful labors and unsuccessful ones.
She'd also watched other pregnant women, friends of her mothers. She'd been allowed to place her hands on their enormous bellies and feel the kicks and life within. Katara did not know details, but she knew basically what happened. She knew nauseous spells were normal, and slight swelling was normal.
Other than what her memory told her, Katara was on her own.
She resumed dressing, flipping her wet hair out of her way. And as for a woman to be her confidante… the only woman she knew by name here was Adia.
And Katara was already on the 458,324th reason why not to tell Adia she was pregnant.
She folded her outer robe over herself like usual, noticing only a bit of tightness when she tied her waist with the cloth belt. If anyone looked closely, it would only seemed like she had a bit of extra fat. There went her waistline. Exiting the bathroom, she picked up the dark maroon-red cloak she'd found in one of Zuko's drawers last night. She drew it over her shoulders. Seeing as it was made for someone much taller and with broader shoulders than her, it conceal her body and her rounded figure quite well.
Katara had decided last night to finally venture outside. By herself for the first time. Well, she wouldn't technically be alone, for the guard standing outside her door would follow her everywhere, but she would be without friends. Without Zuko.
She needed the fresh air and the exercise. Or her bones would probably start to rot away. Turning the doorknob, she stepped outside, greeted by the stony expression of the guard. Even though she and Zuko had discussed this before he left, he'd still decided to leave her an escort.
"I know it won't stop you from escaping," Zuko had said. "But I'd feel better if someone was here."
She'd just rolled her eyes and shrugged.
"Not to keep you in, Katara, but to keep others out."
Katara finally realized what he meant. "Oh. So you believe me when I say I think I'll be in danger?"
"There's always the possibility."
Katara gave the soldier a curt nod before walking smoothly down the hallway and began to explore, the guard shadowing her footsteps. It was a bit queer at first to see people's reactions to her. The servants knew who she was, but not exactly how to deal with her. Just to be safe, most of them did the required curtsy or bow. After all, if she was the Fire Lord's important guest, that meant she probably had the same status as most of the nobles here.
After wandering for an hour through grand halls and up ornate staircases, Katara found the royal portrait room.
She entered, closing the door gently behind her. The guard waited outside. Looking up at the huge paintings hung on the walls, she felt almost like she was trespassing on sacred ground. Over a century of Fire Lords and their families stared down at her. It was an enormous room, with soft carpet underneath her feet and dark red wood-paneled walls. The portraits were framed with ornate gilt wood, carved in every style imaginable. The paintings themselves were done with great talent. Probably only the best artists in the country were given such an honorable commission to paint the royal family. Every sound made in the room was muffled and a bit of dust rose as Katara stepped across the carpet. She couldn't even hear her own footsteps.
At the end of the room was the first Fire Lord's portrait, painted in the oldest style. The most recent paintings were in the center of the room. That was where the current ruling family's pictures were hung. The Fire Lord's gigantic picture was in the middle, with two smaller portraits on each side.
Ozai's likeness stared grimly down at her from the central position, where the Fire Lord's portrait was hung. He was painted in ceremonial dress robes, holding a sword in one hand and a globe of fire in the other.
Katara studied his face. She'd never seen the famous Lord Ozai before. He was known for several things, not the least of which was his ruthlessness, ambition, and cruelty. His face was not one made for smiling. Harsh planes and angry, yellow eyes glared down at her. If he'd been alive, Ozai would probably have killed her if he'd found out an enemy Water bender was standing in front of his portrait. She knew he was dead, but looking at his painting made her feel he was still watching her, even though she'd never met the man. A gold plaque nailed to the wall underneath the portrait read Fire Lord Ozai.
They probably hadn't gotten around to changing the portraits yet. Zuko's picture should have been in the central position instead, and Ozai's moved to the long row of past Fire Lords. Zuko was the Fire Lord now.
Katara couldn't help but smile when she saw the smaller painting to the left of Ozai's portrait. It was a somber, younger Zuko that stared out at her. How old had he been at the time of this painting? Eleven? Twelve? His face was unmarked, and all of his hair was pulled up into his customary ponytail. Everything about this younger Zuko was… softer.
Although Katara could see the likeness between him and his father, there was a less harsher quality in Zuko's face. The twelve-year-old boy looked like he was trying to look serious, and Katara knew that Zuko had probably been wishing he could be outside instead of standing all stiff for his portrait. His eyes, although not as intense as his father's, were aged and matured. He had been training for his future as Fire Lord since the moment he was born. He would know the harsh realities of life even at a preteen age. She wished with all her heart that she could have known this less angry Zuko, back when he'd been just a child. A gold plaque nailed underneath Zuko's portrait read Crown Prince Zuko.
She touched his face with one finger, and it came away with a light coating of dust. Where did you go? She asked the silent Zuko-child. What happened to you? How did you get that scar? What made you grow up so fast?
The last portrait, the one placed to the right of Ozai's, was surprisingly covered. Katara looked at it quizzically. She could see the shape of a wooden frame outlined by the gray, dusty cloth that had been carelessly thrown over the painting. Of all three portraits, only Ozai's and Zuko's were able to be seen. How come the third had been covered?
Because someone hadn't wanted to look at it. Katara didn't know whether it was Ozai or Zuko. Knowing she would probably be punished if she were found out, Katara lifted one corner of the dirty cloth and yanked it off, a flurry of dust coming down around her. She sneezed once, and then looked up.
So this was where Zuko had received the other half of his genes. The Lady Lian gazed down at Katara, a soft smile on her lips. She was the only one who looked happy in the trio of family portraits.
Were you really happy? Katara wondered as she stared up at Zuko's mother. Were you really happy with your husband and your son? Had Lian supported everything her husband did? Had she loved her family unconditionally? Had she chosen to marry Ozai? Why hadn't she had any other children?
The Lady was dressed in a flattering red-gold dress, her black hair caught up in a beautiful bun with several wispy strands hanging out. She was holding a fan in one hand, and the other rested on the back of an elegant chair.
Her eyes were blue.
Katara examined the painting closely. It wasn't rare to have blue eyes or anything. Coloring was not strictly reserved for certain races. Although most Water Tribe people had blue eyes, brown wasn't out of the question. She didn't know much about Fire bender ethnicity, but from what she'd seen on her stay, flame-yellow was the predominant color. How odd that Zuko's mother had had blue eyes. She read the name on the plaque underneath the picture. Lady Lian.
Stepping back, she examined all three members of the royal family again. Two of them were deceased, and Zuko was away.
Making her decision, she reached up on her tiptoes and twisted at the bottom of the frame on Ozai's portrait. With a little bit of grunting and shoving, she managed to pull if off the wall. She almost reeled back at the sheer weight of it, and just barely managed to keep it from slamming into the ground.
Panting slightly, she set the bottom edge of the frame on the ground, and leaned it against the wall front-first so that Ozai's face could not be seen.
She brushed her hands off, and reached for Zuko's child portrait, and moved it up to where Ozai's had been originally. It looked a bit ridiculous, such a small picture where a large painting should have hung. Well Zuko could get a new one painted when he came back.
Katara decided to leave Lady Lian's portrait where it hung. It deserved to see more light for a little bit more time, since she'd so recently unveiled it. And besides, Zuko had no wife or child to hang up next to his own portrait.
Turning away to leave, her work finished, Katara tried to quell the stupid idea that had suddenly arisen in her mind.
I don't want to be up there! I don't want my picture to replace Lady Lian's. She convinced herself.
Her resolve hardened. And if I can help it, my child will never be raised in the Fire bender ways. My child will not be taught to kill, to murder. He won't grow up thinking that war is the only way of life. He will be raised with peace, if I have any say in it.
When Katara got back to her room, a gray carrier bird was tapping on her window. A feeling of anticipation rose inside her, and she hurried to let in the messenger bird. Zuko had unlocked all the windows for her before he left. She tried not to think about how much he was trusting her by giving her so much freedom.
The bird fluttered in, and she caught it gently to remove the pouch hanging loosely from its leg. After she had what she wanted, she let the bird go. It would fly down to the aviary where the messenger birds were kept when they weren't on the job.
She sat down at the table, hands almost shaking as she took the rolled-up paper out from it's leather covering. Katara smoothed it out, and began to read:
Katara-
By the time this letter reaches you, we'll be well beyond Fire Nation borders. I've never written a letter for purposes other than issuing orders and communicating with war officers. So forgive me if I say the wrong things or my language is awkward.
I hope you're well. It's been just fine here. We've a few more weeks of sailing before we reach Earth Kingdom land.
Iroh sends his greetings. I quote his exact words, "Don't miss my handsome face too much, Katara! We'll be back together as soon as my idiot nephew whips these unruly rebels into their proper places. Until we meet again!"
Don't listen to him if you don't want to.
The Avatar is fine. I promise I am treating him well, but only because I know you worry about him. He is concerned for your well-being. I'm sorry, but I haven't reassured him of anything. I need him scared, Katara. I know you understand my methods, but you still don't agree with me. That's fine.
Reply if you want to. It's been pretty uneventful around here. War councils get monotonous after awhile.
I miss you.
-Zuko
(This is where I usually add all my fancy titles and signatures and stamps and seals but I know you don't care about those so I'll just not waste time.)
Katara was surprised when a single tear dripped down from her fact onto the paper, blurring out Zuko's name. Why was she crying? There was nothing to cry about. It was just a few simple words on a piece of paper. Foolish girl. She scolded herself. You're absolutely pathetic.
Reading over the letter again, she smiled to herself as she mentally translated some of Zuko's lines from Zuko-speech to normal-speech.
I've
never written letters for purposes other than issuing orders…
forgive me if my language is awkward… really meant:
I'm
fucking nervous and I have no idea what I'm saying.
Don't
listen to him if you don't want to… translated to:
Ignore
the geezer. I love my uncle, I really do, but we can both agree that
he's a bit out of his mind at times.
I
know you understand my methods but you still don't agree with me.
That's fine.
I
need your support but I suppose I can survive without it.
Reply
if you want to. It's been pretty uneventful around here…actually
meant:
If
you don't write back soon, I'll die of fucking boredom.
I
miss you…
…I
love you.
Now Katara wasn't surprised to find herself crying. She pulled out a sheet of paper from a desk drawer and began to form her own reply. She'd send it by bird when she was finished.
A/N: The whole Zuko writing a letter thing I totally winged it. I have no idea how he would really write a letter in the show so… made it up as I went along. Something new for you all:
Bloopers/Outtakes:
(This refers to… "Katara was already on the 458,324th reason why not to tell Adia she was pregnant." From above, this chapter.)
Katara breaks the important news to… not Zuko… not Aang… but Adia.
Katara:
I'm pregnant. Will you help me by being my midwife?
Adia:
WHAT?
Katara:
I'm pregnant with Zuko's child. Please guide me through labor.
Adia:
COME AGAIN, BITCH!
Katara:
Do I need to spell it out for you? Me and Zuko had s-e-x without a
c-o-n-d-o-m, I got p-r-e-g-g-e-r-s, and now-
Adia:
screams in rage and leaps on Katara I'm going to tear your fugly
eyes out, whore! ARRRGHHHH I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! HE WAS SUPPOSED TO
BE ALL MINE! Watch my mad clawing skills! You'll be bald by the
time I'm done with you!
Yeah. I sort of had to get that out of my system. Sorry… on to the Q&A:
I just have a question about the character list...
What are they excatly and were are they going to be posted? --
princezuko'sgirl/katara
Um.
What is a character list? I don't think I've ever personally
mentioned that before.
How many anime have
you seen? What's your favorite? Do you have any pets?
Your
review made me laugh and brightened my day, Patricia, thanks!
I'm not a die-hard anime freak, but I've seen and read quite a
few. My favorites… uh probably Ayashi No Ceres, Rurouni
Kenshin/Samurai X, Hanakimi, His and Her Circumstances, Naruto…
etc. And yes, Patricia, I have one cat who I call Spazzoid,
since he's insane.
The
sad part about the recent episode... is I was going "Huh? Zhao
was exiled... he can't be requesting those archers. And, hey! Isn't
Ozai dead?" This fit lasted awhile until I realized I was
confusing this story with the actual show. Yeah.
LMAO!
I can't believe you, Mystikat! But I am flattered, really.
Your review made me laugh. Thanks so much!
I love this! How many
more chapters do you think there will be?
This
was from Divine-Red-Crayon. I'm guessing 21 chapters at this
point, and if I include an epilogue, that'll be 22. It's going to
end soon, that's all I'm saying.
Thank You to: The anonymous reviewer Whomever. This person really encouraged me to keep writing stuff for you fans. It's people like them who make it all worthwhile. And all the other reviewers who've been with me since the beginning.
