Chapter 7: Market Square

"I'll be there in 10 minutes." For the first time, I was irritated by the second message. But afterwards I opened my messenger and realized who had actually written to me.

Phil...

There were two people in my life who didn't use emojis, but smileys. Except I was so desperate for a hint of Jake I blocked all other eventualities aside.

" Thanks.", I replied, attempting to reassemble my broken heart. This morning I had been contemplating a fleeting affair with Mr Aurora. Now I felt so alone and abandoned all over again. The worst part was although I realised I would be cheating on my boyfriend if I did this, but I couldn't quite dismiss the thought. Instead, I hoped my moral compass would guide me in the right direction. Instead of letting emptiness and loneliness take over.

I noticed Phil's van turning into the parking area. In one leap I stood on my feet and made my way to the parked vehicle. I wondered why Phil was getting out. Then I saw him light a cigarette. "Would you like one?", Phil asked me as he noticed my gaze. I shook my head.

"No, thanks. I don't smoke."

" Better be," Phil grinned at me. "It's just an expensive nasty habit."

I watched him as he took a drag on his cigarette and exhaled the smoke anew. I bit my lower lip.

Damn!

Why was Phil so attractive!

This stupid habit definitively added extra points to his score.

No, I wasn't allowed...

I had Jake!

Kind of...

More like maybe...

Eventually...

If he decided to come back to me after all...

I noticed Phil's gaze.

His mischievous grin...

He knew exactly what I was thinking.

Automatically my cheeks blushed.

Once again...

Crap!

Hearing his naughty giggle made my situation even more miserable. Phil flicked the filter of his cigarette onto the ground. With his right black Converse chuck, he stamped out the embers.

" Would you like to get a bite to eat?" he asked me. My empty stomach convinced my head to nod.

"Perfect," Phil's voice had a wicked note to it.

Well, or maybe that's how I wanted to hear it...

I didn't really know how to describe what it was like. I didn't want to be with anyone else besides Jake. Somehow, though, my ego needed the attention of a man right now. Perhaps that's why my brain was twisting facts.

My eyes watched the track we were passing with a blurry gaze. Desperately, I tried to sort out my chaotic thoughts. Or rather, I searched for clues that I was imagining his flirtations.

The easiest way to ban my thoughts of escape from loneliness. But Phil didn't help me to create this illusion very easily. Just like this morning, his hand rested on my thigh. Even before I could plausibly assure myself he had placed his hand there just to reassure me.

How was I supposed to resist temptation if it actually existed?

I hated myself for that thought. Things didn't get any better even when he paid for my burrito with the words that a beautiful woman shouldn't have to pay for her meal in the accompaniment of a man. Even the fact that we were walking through the small town centre with our food wasn't helpful at all.

In addition to my uncertainty as to whether it was a date or not, there was also the feeling of being under observation. However, the evidence was obvious I was imagining this feeling. The stares I felt on the back of my neck were coming from everywhere. Even from the bowl of tomato and cucumber salad. Somehow there was the wish Jake would see me wandering the streets so cheerfully with his adversary.

I was a horrible person...

I wanted to provoke his jealousy just to get satisfaction. My punishment for him chastising me with his absence.

I knew there was a reason for it...

He wouldn't do this to me easily!

And I...

Why was I such a horrible person...?

"Phil Can we get back to Jessy's place now?", I could hear the suffering tone in my voice, so I wasn't surprised at Phil's irritated look. " You know, spending time with Alan was exhausting. I want to get some rest. Before the others and me leave..", once again this lie occurred to me too quickly.

Actually, to fast...

I was just awful...

To my surprise, Phil first looked at his wristwatch before answering, "Yeah, it's fine." I couldn't tell if there was disappointment in his tone of voice. In any case, it seemed as if he had believed my lie and had no idea that I simply wanted to get away from him. Already ready to leave, I sat in the passenger seat while Phil indulged in another cigarette. The index finger and middle finger of his left hand, with the cigarette between it, moved away from his mouth, followed by the smoke he exhaled. His gaze, however, was fixed on his right hand. He put his cigarette between his lips again. This time he needed his left hand to operate the smartphone in his right hand.

Again, on this car ride, he had placed his hand on my thigh. He also talked, no, he praised the Aurora. He often emphasised how happy he was that I was planning to come tonight. Probably thanks to his euphoria, he didn't notice that I was only looking at him with a fake smile. I had completely forgotten about the agreement that the group and I would spend tonight in the bar.

Phil and I in combination with alcohol was bound to go wrong. One advantage was that I still had enough time to come up with a plausible excuse for not drinking alcohol tonight. A bit of a pity when I thought of the free drinks.

When did you ever have a chance like that...?

Phil switched off the car motor. After a moment's confusion, I realised we had already arrived at Jessy's flat. He used the moment of my confusion to get out and open the passenger door. Phil held out his hand to make it easier for me to climb out.

"I liked our first little date," he said in a soft voice. Automatically I nodded in agreement. For a brief moment I felt guilty.

What if Phil was hoping for something more in the future?

After all, he wasn't aware of the existence of a certain hacker. I opened my mouth, but immediately closed it again. Not because I hadn't thought of any words yet. Instead, it was because the saving thought occurred to me just in time.

Why would someone like Phil be seriously interested in me?

I wasn't really in his league. I didn't mean to imply that I was ugly. My attractiveness level was more in the average range. Phil, on the other hand, was more on the "sexiest man alive" level on this scale.

Then there was his reputation after all. A few flattering words and gestures and he could be sure: Someone like me was a slight notch in his bedpost. I would have made a fool of myself if I had said anything about that.

"See you tonight, [MC]", his flirtatious tone didn't surprise me at all. In my mind, I had already seen through his ploy. But then I fleetingly felt his lips on mine. My body felt as if I had been hit by the spell "Petificus Totalus". Except, unlike Neville Longbottom, I didn't fall ungently to the floor. Instead, next to my petrified body, my face had turned burgundy.

"You really are a special girl, [MC]," I deliberately ignored the emphasis on how seriously he meant those words. I didn't want Phil to be completely honest with me.

Why was the man's world starting to take an interest in me at this point?

"Thanks," I squeaked in a high pitched voice.

"I'm looking forward to tonight," I couldn't explain why those words popped out of my mouth. I hadn't heard my unusual rapturous voice from me before. This mischievous smile on his lips made my heart skip a beat. My plan not to consume any alcohol that evening was forgotten. Actually, Phil's kiss had thrown all my good intentions overboard.

I was still standing there a few minutes after Phil had left, dumbfounded. Had he actually still said that he thought it was a pity he couldn't lie in bed with me?

I mean the way he'd looked at me, how close he was, the way he'd whispered it in my ear that he didn't mean cuddling during a nap.

I must have imagined it! It couldn't be otherwise.

Perhaps my dysfunctional brain had incorrectly processed the information he would also be taking an afternoon nap. He had mentioned during the journey that he never knows exactly how long the night will be, even though it's a regular working day. The question at hand wasn't why he was so enthusiastic about his job despite the miserable working conditions. But why Phil, after I had uttered a confused "Why not?", had grinned at me so seductively. Just to whisper in my ear that unfortunately he had to leave now. Besides, he had mentioned that other activities with me in bed were preferred. Just like his offer to carry out this activity tonight. He didn't disregard the fact that his flat was above the Aurora.

So...

The second kiss also contradicted my theory of my twisted perception.

Oh my God!

I had returned that kiss!

How could this happen?!

My index finger brushed across my lips. The next moment, the nail of said finger was between my incisors. Nervously, I tried to reconstruct the last events with Phil.

His hand on my hip. Just a few seconds before his lips touched mine again. His hip pressed against mine. My back pressed against the wall of the house. And then his lips, which pressed longingly against mine again and again. And then mine, which hungrily demanded his.

His tongue...

Holy shit...

Were our tongues really involved in this kiss?

I had exchanged my index fingernail for that of my thumb. Before I had allowed myself to pursue my thoughts further, I bit off a piece of my nail.

It had been me...

My tongue had demanded entry into his mouth.

What had I done?

How could I do that?

Nervously I looked around.

Jake couldn't have seen that!

Please don't...

My head movements became more and more panicky as I caught sight of no one. I couldn't sort out this newfound realisation. Meant that he had seen us and with his heart broken, he had fled.

Forever...

Nervously, I looked around. Or was I really that lucky and he hadn't seen us?

That didn't fit my life at all.

Fate usually loved to play every conceivable trick on me. A Jake who had been missing for two months turned up near me at that exact moment.

That would be so typical of my life...

However, considering the mathematical probability, this was rather in the realm of the impossible. Nevertheless, no glimmer of hope was triggered in my heart. The fear that the love of my life could have seen this small moment of weakness was simply too much.

Sighing deeply, I sat down on the stairs of the hallway, deliberately on the left-hand edge. After all, the front door was wide open. It was obvious that one of Jessy's neighbours could come through the hallway at any moment. For example, to take out the household rubbish or to carry several stages of supermarket shopping into their flat.#

Shakily, I fished my smartphone out of my pocket. Almost as if by magic, our chat opened. The three magic words gave me the calm my troubled mind needed. I drew in the oxygen through my nose. I released the excess air through my open mouth.

My finger slid across the keyboard. I typed his name with a question mark. But before I sent the message, I deleted it.

"I miss you.", this message also landed in nirvana before it could start its journey to its recipient.

It was useless after all.

There was no indication that he would contact me. There had to be a reason for his lack of vital signs.

No matter what...

On his part, there wasn't any reason to react to my message yet. Especially not if he had witnessed it.

One positive aspect would be...

It would mean he is alive. This thought made my heart lighter for a tiny moment. Until my thoughts turned to the path that there was little evidence of his survival. With a gulp, I didn't allow myself to pursue that assumption any further.

It would definitely be better if he had seen Phil and me.

Better than his death...

I pulled myself together. The time had finally arrived for me to enter Jessy's flat. She was probably already eagerly awaiting my arrival. We wanted to move into the luxurious cabin in the forest today. It was quite possible the others were already waiting for us there.

I looked out of the small hallway window without a reason. My eyes spied the high trees of the forest. Admittedly, this was not exactly by chance. Duskwood lived up to its name. This small town was surrounded by several acres of forest. Besides wondering how often the town fitted into the adjacent woodland, I wondered where exactly the Grimrock waterfall was located. I had no explanation as to why I had come up with this thought.

Just as a plant grew from a seed in the soil, an idea grew from this thought. I could sneak out of the Aurora tonight and go to the Grimrock. I would kill two birds with one stone. First of all, I could avoid the sexy bartender. And I wouldn't have to think of any more scenarios about how things would go between us. Most of all, I wouldn't have to feel bad for various hopes. Especially if I took away the possibility of bed sport myself. The other advantage was that I would resume my old detective activities and search for my own traces in the iron splitter mines.

Maybe I would actually find clues about Jake's whereabouts.

My heart tripped because of the rising euphoria.

Maybe I would finally get some answers...

My plan motivated me to continue on my way to my best friend's flat. Just to experience a rollercoaster of emotions again at the destination of my way.

The white flat door was open a small crack. Cold sweat formed on my skin.

The sign of the raven was still the same, wasn't it?

I had seen it yesterday, hadn't I?

My shaky hand reached for the door handle. It didn't make sense for the man to be back without a face. According to Jessy, Richy was in a psychiatric ward.

Besides, his suicide attempt was a sign, wasn't it?

No, the man with no face wouldn't return...

Wouldn't ...

Couldn't...

But why was the flat door open?

I hadn't seen a soul...

What if someone else had done something to Jessy under the protection of the old legend's cloak.

What if I couldn't protect her again...

What if it was my fault again...

My stomach ached with fear.

The creak of the door echoed in my ears as I opened it. My heart stopped as I entered the unusually dark flat.

Are... you... scared?