Chapter 11

Now

Aurora is probably in her session with Dr. Murphy right about now. I'm worried about her. They said that she may never leave the asylum. I know that I should be optimistic, but to tell the truth, I believe them. When she's not taking tranquilizers, she's almost completely crazy. Like Dr. Murphy said, she can't stay on tranquilizers forever.

The door to my room opened. I looked up to see who it was; Leonardo. I didn't even notice that he was gone. He probably went to breakfast or something. I looked at the clock; 10:45. I'm usually a morning person, but I didn't sleep well last night. I was up late; worrying about Aurora.

"Hey Pony, we missed you at crap…I mean breakfast. Where were you?"

I sighed. I wasn't in the mood for talking. Maybe this is one of those relapses that they talk about in those medical books. You get better for a while, and then get a lot worse. I'm depressed again; I haven't been in several weeks. I can't think of why except for that I'm worried about Aurora.

"Are you OK?" Leonardo asked. He sounded worried.

"I'm fine," I replied.

"This is about Aurora, isn't it?" Leonardo asked.

"No, because I'm fine," I lied.

Leonardo sat down on his bed. "You're lying."

"Yeah," I replied.

"She'll be fine," Leonardo said. Since when is he an optimist?

"You didn't see her," I said.

"She looked fine at visiting day," Leonardo said.

"Yeah, but you should see her when she's not taking tranquilizers," I said.

Leonardo got quiet and so did I. After a while I said, "They say she'll never leave."

"I'm sorry," Leonardo said.

"I've gotta go see Dr. Murphy," I said as I walked out of the room.

I found Dr. Murphy a few minutes later. He was sitting on a couch in the lobby. His expression was grim; I guessed that things hadn't gone well with Aurora, but I asked anyway.

"How was she?" I asked.

Dr. Murphy looked up at me. "Do you remember what you were like when you first got here?"

"Yeah," I replied. I had been a wreck. I wouldn't talk to anyone, and spent most of my time holed up in my room.

"She's about ten times worse," Dr. Murphy said.

My heart sank down to my shoes.

"We aren't going to tranquilize her during sessions. We want to see what she's like without medicine. Needless to say, she's a total mess." Dr. Murphy said.

"I don't understand," I said, "she was fine during visiting day."

"I know, I know," Dr. Murphy said. He sounded tired.

"Did she talk to you at all?" I asked.

"A bit. She asked where you were and why we wanted to kill her. I don't know where she got the idea that we were going to kill her."

I sighed, I was trying not to cry. What had happened to Aurora, and why? She didn't deserve this. I wish that I could figure out what's wrong with her.

Dr. Murphy's Sessions with Ponyboy Curtis

Doctor Murphy: What would you like to talk about, Ponyboy?

Ponyboy Curtis: I don't know.

DM: You seem upset, any reason why?

PC: sarcastically Gee, I wonder.

DM: At least she's not suffering, Ponyboy.

PC: But I am.

DM: You're leaving in a month, Ponyboy. Don't ruin it for yourself.

PC: I've already told you, I'm not leaving without Aurora.

DM: You'll have too.

PC: I don't have to leave. I could go crazy all over again.

DM: We'd know that you were faking it.

DM: Why don't you want to leave without Aurora, Ponyboy?

PC: She's my best friend; I can't just leave her behind.

Here there is a long pause

PC: It's not fair! Aurora had so much going for her. She was a great dancer, actress, singer, and she was smart, and funny, and…

Here there is a long pause

Ponyboy starts crying

DM: I know; life isn't fair.

DM: Would seeing her make you feel better?

PC: I guess.

end tape

Now

Aurora was sitting in the corner of her room. She looked scared, and skinnier than before. Dr. Murphy told me that she refused to eat. I walked over to her and sat down next to her. She looked up at me with dull, bloodshot eyes.

"Pony," she said. I barely heard her.

"Yeah," I replied.

"Who is that guy?" She asked. "The one that was talking to me."

"Dr. Murphy?" I said.

"I guess so," she replied.

"What about him?" I asked.

"I dunno," she said.

We sat there in silence for a while. I was close to crying; I couldn't stand seeing Aurora like this.

"Don't you remember anything?" I asked. "What happened yesterday?"

"I don't know," she said. She wasn't just saying that; I could tell she really meant it.

I was starting to get really upset. I looked at Aurora; she was staring off into space. I knew that she wouldn't notice if I left. I stood up and walked out of the room. Just as I had predicted, she didn't notice.

Dr. Murphy was waiting for me. He looked at me sympathetically. "We're doing all we can for her," he said.

I wanted to yell at him. To say something like: "You're not doing enough." or "No, you're not." But I didn't say anything. I just nodded and started walking toward my room. I really needed someone to talk to. Darry or Sodapop, but they were at work. I guess I'll need to wait until they get home to talk to them. That's about six hours.

Six long, miserable hours.