THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS Chapter 4

Disclaimer: THIS IS SLASH... If ya don't like it, DON'T READ IT! I don't own Race or any of the Newsies. Anything else in here actually doesn't belong to me because they are actually people or places...

A/N - YEAH gettin it out in time! (Actually, not completely... This was only supposed to be part of it... but I thought, better to get a lil up by my goal then none!) So yeah, I'm a little behind... Blame school... Here goes!

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1/5/04

First day of school back from vacation. Do I even have to bother saying it sucked? The getting up early, going to classes, hearing teachers drone on and on, getting homework, etc, etc. It seems like teachers WANT to torture us by giving us shitloads of homework!

... And then, the Braids incident.

Well, she was still all over me at the locker in the morning. So I pulled her aside and quietly told her the truth. I was told later that was another bad decision made by yours truly.

She shrieked loudly and said, "Oh my god, you're GAY? That's SOOOOO cute!"

Everything stopped as the entire hallway turned and stared at me, my face bright red, and started laughing and pointing and whispering. I glared at Braids, who whispered a 'sorry' and skipped off down the hallway, her twin braids bouncing off her shoulders.

Wincing slightly, I turned back toward my group of friends. Specs and Dutchy gave me sympathetic smiles and everyone else was trying to hold back their laughter. I glanced at Spot whose face was once again, unreadable.

... Oops, forgot to say what happened between us..

The day after New Year's, I had tried to call him. Because he has caller ID, every single time I tried, he always picked up and immediately hung up so I never could leave a message. I also tried IMs, but that didn't work either, since he either ignored me online or signed off right away. So I haven't been able to talk to him.

Then this morning happened...

I was sitting at my kitchen table, finishing up my Cocoa Puffs, all ready for my mom to drive me in (for obvious reasons), when I heard a beep coming from my driveway. To my surprise, it was Spot's '99 red Civic.

Stunned, I quickly gathered my books and walked out.

As I got in his car, he said "Don't think I'm over what happened. My mom is making me drive you in."

I sank lower into my seat and stared forward. The car ride was completely silent, save for the radio. I didn't get the guts to say anything to him.

OK, back to school now... I know, I know, out of order... SUE ME!

*sue me, sue me, what can you do me.. I love you!* [1]

What? hey, what kind of gay guy would I be if I didn't like musicals?

ANYWAY....

Well, by fourth period, more and more people were starting to stare at me and whisper as I passed. It was from the little 'incident' this morning, plus Braids, Curly told me, loves gossiping. [2] So yeah, I just wanted school to end.

Finally, school ended. On the ride home, I worked up the nerve to speak.

"Um.. Spot? About New Year's.. I just-"

He cut me off with a glare.

"Please, Spot. Just hear me out."

"Fine.. Talk" Spot said through clenched teeth.

"Ok.. The truth? Yes, I'm gay. Yes, I've known since sophomore year. Yes, I kissed you. Yes, I've had a crush on you for like two years. But, yes, I am also the same guy that has been your best friend for as long as I can remember. And I don't want that to change."

"Think about it, Spot. When you walked into that party, you had no clue, but still you were talking and laughing with me. But after you found out, you walked out and haven't spoken to me in almost a week. That was part of the reason I never told anyone, cause I thought you would act that way. Plus, I know for a fact that there are dickheads out there who would say some pretty hurtful things... and you said some of those things to me..."

"That hurt, Spot. It hurt to hear your best friend say those things. You have no idea how much it did, to have your best friend acting that way."

I paused for a breather, and I heard Spot let out a small sigh, but didn't say anything. I glanced up at him, but, *surprise, surprise* he was unreadable. I continued my little 'speech.'

"Yes, considering the situation I had put you in, any guy would have done that. But I promise, if we can work this out, I will never do that again. I know that you are as straight as an arrow. I will control myself, and might I add, I am pretty good at it.. hiding it for two years..."

I quickly glanced up at him, and added nervously...

"But it's kinda hard to control myself when the guy I like is kissing back..."

Enter awkward silence.

Followed by the engine being turned off. DAMN we were at my house.

As I got out of the car, I was confused as ever.

Was it just me, or had he winced slightly when I said he was 'as straight as an arrow'?

-Racetrack

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[1] Guys and Dolls rocks! That's our school musical this year... I didn't make it (damn directors!) But I am on crew...

[2] I really am a gossiper.. Very bad habit of mine, that gets me in trouble a LOT...

A/N - I LOVE the ending!! Hehehe....... OH, and to the people I always review for, sorry for not reviewing your latest updates.. My computer has a virus that wont let me get my mail or review (for some unknown reason!) As soon as it works again, I'll review anything I miss!!

ANYWAY...

Thank you all SOOO much for reviewing! This is my favorite story I have written so far!! (and also the only slash-chaptered fic I have!)

SHOUT OUTS!!

BitterSweetDragon -Truth or Dare is SO much fun! HEHE soo funny!!!!! Thanks! :hugs:

SnitchLins - Thank you! I luffle you!! Hehe.. Burping contests are fun! :hugs:

Nigh - Thanks for reading my story!! Glad you liked it! :hugs:

SpecsGlasses - YEAH! I made your night!! Hehe.. Specs/Dutchy rules! lol.. Thanks! :hugs:

Nakaia Aidan-Sun - SHIPOOPI!! hehe.. Thanks so much!! :Hugs:

T-R-Us - Glad you liked!! I am addicted to your story! But I *#^^%$ can't review! :hugs:

LiamsKitten - YES, skitts did want to torture you! lol... and don't explode! I updated! ... btw, I jus put two and two together... You like the Alanna books by Tamora Pierce, right? lol.. I LOVE them!! :hugs:

StrawberriShake - Thanks!! Specs/Dutchy is SOOO cool!! :hugs:

OneConfusedNewsie - Thank you!! I'm glad you liked it!! :hugs:

Saturday - Thanks for the review! And yea, Race really did that!! hehe.. :hugs:

Okie dokies, REVIEW!! Homemade Choco-chip cookies for everyone!!

~Braids