Chapter Fifteen

Now

It's been a few days since they started giving me the anti-depressants. They help a bit, I guess. But no amount of anti-depressants could have made me feel better about what happened next.

There was a knock on my door. Dr. Murphy walked in. I panicked, usually when Dr. Murphy comes to see you, you're either in trouble or your world is about to end.

"Ponyboy," he said softly.

"Yeah," I replied.

"We got a call from the state yesterday. They approved letting us use the injection on Aurora. They assured us that her death will be painless. We want her to be out her misery as soon as possible. I thought you might want to come say goodbye."

I was shocked. I couldn't believe that they were going to kill Aurora. "Is she…" I started.

"Yes, Pony," Dr. Murphy said, "she's dying."

Dr. Murphy and I walked to Aurora's room. All the nurses were there. One of them was holding an empty syringe. They looked at me sympathetically as I walked by them, and into her room.

Aurora was lying on her bed, barely breathing. She was holding the stuffed animal rabbit close to her chest. I sat on the bed and cuddled her like I had that night last year when she had had the flu. Was it only last year? It felt like forever ago.

"Pony," she said.

"Yeah," I replied.

"I'm dying, aren't I?" she asked.

"Yeah, but it'll be over soon. You'll be in Heaven, and you won't hurt anymore," I said. I wanted to go with her.

"I love you, Aurora," I said.

"I know," she replied.

I held Aurora and cried. I knew she was dying. I didn't want her to die; fourteen is too young to die.

"Tell everyone I love them," Aurora said. "I want you to have all my stuff except for two things. There's a gold cross necklace on my dresser. I want to be buried wearing it. I want Dally to have my silver ring, the one I wore on my thumb. You can have everything else."

"OK," I said. "Anything else?"

"I'm sorry about your parents. I don't want you to die too, Pony. Keep on living; do that for me. Get out of this place, be somebody. I love you," Aurora said.

I looked down at Aurora, and all my memories with her came flooding back. I'd only been friends with her eleven years. Eleven short years, and she was only fourteen. That was too young to die. I wasn't ready for her to die, but I could tell that she was. She'd suffered long enough. Her breathing slowed, and stopped. She sighed, and she was gone.

I looked down at Aurora; I guess I was expecting her to suddenly come back to life or something. I sat there for almost five minutes looking at her. Then the truth hit me: Aurora is dead. She's never coming back. I left the room as quickly as I could.

Dr. Murphy was waiting for me. He hugged me.

"Pony, I'm so sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

That made me mad. I didn't want to talk to him, or anyone else. He didn't have any right to hug me. Who did he think he was, my father? I pulled away from the hug.

"I don't want to talk!" I yelled.

"Pony," he said; trying to hug me again.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled. I turned away from the group of nurses and doctors and ran away as fast as I could.

I couldn't think of anywhere safe that I could go. They could find me in my room, the bathroom, the lobby, the rec-room, the nurse's station, the cafeteria. I couldn't think of anywhere I could go. I didn't really care as long as I didn't go back. Back to all the nurses and doctors, and back to the room where I knew Aurora was lying; dead.

Doctor Murphy's Sessions with Ponyboy Curtis

Doctor Murphy: I'm so sorry about Aurora, Pony.

Ponyboy Curtis: I'm sure you are.

DM: You need to realize, Pony, that we did the best thing for her.

PC: No response

DM: She's in a better place now, Ponyboy.

PC: No response

DM: I understand if you don't want to talk, but I think you'll fell better if you talk.

PC: She said that she wants to be buried wearing her gold cross necklace. She wants Dally to have her silver ring, and she wants me to have the rest of her stuff.

DM: That can be arranged.

Here Ponyboy starts crying

PC: She's dead.

DM: I know.

PC: I don't want her to be dead.

DM: I understand.

PC: She can't be dead, she was only fourteen. She was too young to die. It's not fair!

DM: I know. Life isn't fair.

PC: crying I want my brothers.

DM: I know.

PC: I just want to be alone.

DM: I thought you wanted your brothers.

PC: I do.

DM: But you also want to be alone?

PC: Uh-huh.

DM: That doesn't make sense. What do you want?

PC: I want Aurora, I want to go home.

DM: You can't do that, Pony.

PC: I want my mom and dad.

DM: They're dead, Pony. You know that.

Here Ponyboy starts crying

Ponyboy was given a tranquilizer and sent to his room

End tape.

Exert From Ponyboy's Memory

It was just over four months ago. November fifteenth. The day Aurora's mom killed my parents.

The weather had been really cold lately, and that day was no exception. I still remember the voice of the TV weatherman: "The high today is in the upper forties." The sun was shining, but that didn't fool anyone. If you knew what was good for you, you were inside where it was warm.

Since we didn't have much money, we just had a few space heaters. Steve, Soda and I were sitting in front of one of the space heaters and Two-Bit, Dally, and Darry in front of the other. We had stupidly gone outside and tried to play football. We got too cold after about ten minutes though. Mom walked into the living room and saw all of us sitting in front of the space heaters.

"Should one of you go check on Aurora? I bet she's about to freeze," Mom said.

"I'm not going back out there," Two-Bit said.

"OK," mom said. "I just hope she's alright."

After a few minutes we started watching TV. I wondered where Aurora was. It was almost three; she was normally here by now. I told myself that she probably just had a dace class or something, but I was still worried. No one else seemed worried; their eyes were glued to the TV set. I tried to relax and watch TV with everyone else, but I couldn't concentrate on the show.

I was about to go check on Aurora when the door opened, and she ran in. Her nose was bloody, and it looked like she was starting to get a black eye. She was out of breath, like she'd been running for a long time. Everyone looked up.

"Aurora, what happened?" Soda asked.

"Mom," Aurora gasped. "She beat me up. I got away and ran for a while. I finally lost her, but I think she'll be here in a few minutes."

Mom had heard the whole thing. "Are you alright, honey?" mom asked. "You must be freezing; just wearing that jacket."

Mom sat Aurora down in front of one of the space heaters and brought her some hot chocolate. We sat in a circle around Aurora. If her mom came, we were going to try to keep her from hurting Aurora.

Her mom didn't show up for a half hour or more. By then, dad had gotten home, and mom had explained what had happened to him. While dad really didn't like Aurora, I saw sympathy in his eyes.

When Aurora's mom came in, the first thing I noticed was how angry she looked. Her hair was messed up from running, her face was bright red, and one of the heels of her shoes had broken off. The second thing I noticed was the knife she held. She wasn't just planning on beating Aurora up; she was planning on killing her. We all stood up, ready to fight her mom. I wasn't about to let her kill Aurora, and neither was anyone else.

"Aurora," her mom said sweetly. "Come here."

"No," she replied.

"I said come here," her mom barked. "Don't make me hurt you more than I have to."

None of us had noticed that Dally had left the circle. He punched Aurora's mom as hard as he could in the jaw. I heard the sickening crack as her jaw broke. Aurora's mom turned to Dally and cut him across the face with the knife. Pretty soon, we were all beating Aurora's mom up. She was pretty strong, and she had the advantage of the knife. We'd only been fighting for a few minutes when mom and dad came in.

"Stop, stop," mom yelled. "Let's talk about this instead of fighting." She always hated violence.

Aurora's mom stood up slowly. I remember I was holding Aurora as close as I could.

"Talk," her mom said angrily, "Yeah, we'll talk. You can have a nice long chat with this knife here."

Before any of us could stop her, Aurora's mom had stabbed each of my parents twice in the head and chest. Then I guess she realized what she'd done, and that she'd go to jail for murder.

"Shit," she said. Then she stabbed herself.

We looked at my parents and Aurora's mom; stunned. Then we turned to Aurora. She was obviously in shock. Her mouth was moving, but she wasn't saying anything.

"Aurora," I said. I tried to hug her, but she wouldn't let me.

"I'm sorry, this is all my fault," she said. She was crying.

"It's not your fault," I said.

Aurora just shook her head. Then she turned and ran out the door. I tried to chase after her, but Darry held me back.

"Let her go," he said. "She'll be back."

But she didn't come back. She wasn't at my parent's funeral, or at her moms' funeral. We told the police about her, and they started looking for her. It took them three months to find her, and when they did; it was too late.