Chapter Nine

Cole leaned forward from the edge of the sofa, elbows on his knees, as he stared into the flames of the fire. He glanced at his watch. Phoebe'd been asleep now for a couple of hours and he still resisted the urge to wake her. Leo hadn't been able to completely heal her and she'd come so close to dying, how could he deny her the rest she desperately needed? Looking down into his open palm, he created a tiny energy ball and stared at, still unable to believe he had his powers back, not those he'd absorbed in the Wasteland. With a simple thought, he dissipated the energy ball and smiled grimly. He could feel the evil churning inside. Being whole meant he'd, once again, have to summon the daily strength necessary to suppress Belthazor if he wanted to be good. 'But is it worth the price?'

Piper stood in the doorway, carrying the basket of laundry, and watched the demon. 'Half-demon,' she corrected herself. Did it matter? Belthazor was back along with all the risks he brought. She watched Cole form another tiny energy ball and stare at it. She couldn't deny he'd helped them today. Not that she would've given him much choice but at least he'd seemed sincere about offering his help. 'So what now?' Cole seemed different even with Belthazor's return. He'd kept his distance from them, even Phoebe, and basically only contributed when asked his opinion. So if Leo was right and Cole was no longer insane, could they accept his return? Would he succeed this time at being good? Would he even want to try? Or was it better to avoid the inevitable tragedies he'd bring by vanquishing him first? He hadn't seemed crazy about Leo's bringing him back and even encouraged Paige to make the potion so maybe he wanted to be vanquished. Maybe he was just as afraid of what would happen next. Maybe they'd all suffered enough. 'God, Phoebe, why'd you have to fall for a demon?'

Cole created and dissipated another energy ball before he suddenly stood. He hated waiting. He'd always hated waiting. He'd promised to help with Zankou and the Avatars and he aimed to keep that promise but did he have to wait here until something happened? Couldn't he find a place somewhere and let them call him when they needed him? Maybe they'd even change their minds about that. Maybe they'd want nothing to do with him. Was it worth the aggravation? He folded his arms across his chest and frowned acknowledging the real reason he wasn't going anywhere: Phoebe. Until he was sure she was fully recovered from the attack, he couldn't leave. They needed to talk and maybe even find some closure. With a sigh, he sat down again and wondered what came next. After Zankou, what fate awaited him? San Francisco was his home. No matter where he'd traveled over the years, he'd always come back here. Good or not, could he stay in the city and lead his own life apart from her? Would she even let him? Or was another vanquish looming on the horizon?

When she saw him grip the arm of the sofa, images of a pile of ashes flashed in her mind and Piper warily asked, "Something wrong?"

Cole spun in his seat, an energy ball ready in his hand, and practically growled, "Come to vanquish me?" Truth was, he was angrier with himself for having been so lost in thought that he hadn't heard her approach.

"With laundry?" she retorted before she smiled. "Not that a vanquish wouldn't be a bad alternative. You've no idea how messy Chris can be for such a little guy. Seems like I'm always doing laundry."

He wasn't in the mood for chitchat and turned back to the fire, "Thought you were going to the club."

She nodded, "In a while. With Paige out and everyone else asleep or resting, I figured it'd be a good time to put in a load." She set down the basket and came closer, "Strange, huh…" He stared at her but didn't say a word. "You being back, I mean. Two years to catch up on, not to mention getting used to, well, you know…"

"It's like finding myself again," he quietly replied.

Suddenly uncomfortable, she questioned, "What are you going to do?"

He looked at her, "I told you I would help you fight Zankou."

She glared at him, "I meant Phoebe and you know it."

"Phoebe's always called the shots," he shrugged. 'But this time I'll listen,' he promised himself, 'even if it means leaving her for good.'

When he fell silent again, Piper picked up the basket but, before she left, turned back to him, "We've all been hurt, Cole. Don't let her make another mistake."

Cole turned around but Piper was already gone and, for some reason, he didn't go after her. Had she included him in that statement about being hurt? And what would be a mistake, for Phoebe to send him away or for her to want him back? Resting his head against the back of the couch, he bounced an energy ball in his hand and returned his gaze to the flames.

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Still feeling a bit wobbly, Phoebe leaned against the doorjamb to rest. Her breath caught in her throat when she spotted Cole sprawled asleep on the sofa. She approached carefully, hoping not to wake him. Sitting on the very edge of the coffee table she simply watched him, praying he was as peaceful as he seemed. 'You've been through so much, you deserve a little peace.' It took everything she had not to reach out and caress his cheek but she wasn't ready yet to face him. So many words she'd kept buried since Paige told her about his death that she hadn't quite sorted out in the brief time since his return.

Sighing inwardly, she stood but quickly steadied herself when the room spun. She hadn't had a chance to ask but the attack at P3 must've been pretty bad if, after all this time, she still hadn't completely recovered. Piper had mentioned something about soup and she'd come down to warm up a bowl but, now that she'd seen him, she couldn't quite get her feet to move. How could she have forgotten how stunningly gorgeous he was? The blanket on the end chair caught her eye and she quietly retrieved it. She held her breath as she carefully leaned over him and covered him with it. She'd nearly said his name when he stirred and she froze when his fingers brushed against hers. But when nothing further happened, Phoebe quickly stepped back and practically ran from the room.

When the footsteps faded, Cole slowly opened his eyes. Once assured he was alone, he sat up and rubbed his chin. If she wasn't ready to talk, he wouldn't force her. He was determined to do things differently this time by giving her the space she needed. But he hadn't been able to resist the opportunity to touch her and he'd felt her fear. Was she afraid of him, of Belthazor, and what he could do? 'No,' he shook his head, 'Phoebe was never afraid of me.' Furious, horrified, apathetic even, but never afraid. 'Maybe she still cares. Maybe she's afraid of how I might react. Or, more likely, of how her sisters'll react.' But he clenched the blanket until he squelched the hope. Until he heard the words from her lips, he'd never dare believe in the possibility of their relationship.

He stood and began to pace before he realized that Phoebe might hear. He stopped and glanced at his watch and couldn't help but rub his eyes when he discovered it was two in the morning. He'd never get back to sleep now. Maybe he should get away from the manor and let her be for a while. Zankou wasn't likely to make another move yet and they both needed more time. 'To hell with it,' he decided before he shimmered into the kitchen.

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For a good two minutes, Cole watched silently as Phoebe stared into the pot lost in thought. She probably still wasn't recovered or she'd surely have sensed his shimmer and his presence. "Don't you know a watched pot never boils?"

Phoebe jumped back and gasped, "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"Sorry…"

She glared at him, "No you're not." He shrugged but she couldn't find the strength to retort. She watched him a moment before she returned to stirring the soup. "Thought I was alone," she apologized. "Guess I woke you but I didn't mean to but I saw you lying there on my way to the kitchen and thought you'd like the blanket since you know it gets pretty chilly down here 'specially now that it's practically December and you never much liked the cold which's totally understandable seeing as you grew up in, well, rather warm places and I really didn't mean to wake y-"

"Phoebe," he interrupted as he approached, "it's okay. Thanks for the blanket."

She'd been rambling and felt the blush spreading across her cheeks so she looked down into the pot and stirred the soup more vigorously. Cole was in the kitchen with her and there was no one else around. He seemed different, more at ease, but she couldn't look in his direction. Obviously her sisters hadn't vanquished him but she was a mess, starving, and had no clue as to what she'd missed while she'd slept. And, as her mind whirled with mixed thoughts of how to talk to him, she continued stirring the soup and watched the vegetables move in circles as she moved the spoon until they blurred her vision and all she saw were images of him cooking with her in happier times. Suddenly, his hand was on hers and she stared up at him in surprise.

"Keep stirring and there'll be nothing left in the pot," he teased before gently nudging her from the stove. "Sit down and let me finish this."

"I didn't realize…Look, it's late, why don't you go back to sleep," she nervously suggested.

"Please," he simply said.

It wasn't so much the way he said it but the way his eyes pleaded. Phoebe knew it wasn't an effort to make up for any wrongdoings but simply something he wanted to do for her. 'It's only a bowl of soup,' she told herself before she nodded and moved to a seat at the table.

Cole silently poured some more soup from the container into the pot and switched the pot to a different burner. He knew she was watching him but still said nothing as he proceeded to clean the mess she'd made. As he wiped away the spilled soup and vegetables, he asked, "Why couldn't you levitate?"

"It's complicated," she replied as she nervously began to tear her paper napkin. "Why didn't you tell me the Avatars approached you and made you one of them?"

"It's complicated."

She nearly smiled, "Guess I deserved that." He didn't answer and she watched him finish wiping down the stove. She returned to her napkin and sighed, "My powers were taken away by the Elders."

Cole froze, "What?"

She shrugged and tore off a thin strip, "I'd gone on a bit of a power trip, using them for all the wrong reasons." She paused and looked at him, "Guess you could say I was a bit obsessed."

The soup had begun to boil and he quickly shut off the flame. "That doesn't make sense," he said as he poured some of the soup into the bowl she'd already prepared.

"That they were taken away or that I'd been obsessed?" she wondered. She leaned back as he set down the bowl in front of her. "Want some?"

"I ate earlier," he declined. When she began to quietly eat her soup, he decided to leave the room and had reached the doorway when she called him.

"Keep me company?" she shyly requested. Some of the knots in her stomach tightened when he sat next to her while other knots came undone. She blew on another spoonful and swallowed before telling him, "I'd lost myself, forgotten who I was, and was careless. So, as punishment, my powers were taken until I prove myself worthy of them."

"That's ridiculous," he exclaimed.

"What's done is done," she sighed, "and I'm okay with it now. It wasn't easy at first but I learned to adapt and knowing I'll get them back helps. Those powers are a part of me, a part I don't want to lose again, and I, oh…"

"What?" he asked when she stopped speaking. But then he understood what she'd realized, "It's not the same thing."

"Isn't it?" She placed her spoon in the bowl and took a sip from the water she'd poured for herself earlier. "I thought I'd understood what happened when Belthazor'd been stripped but I guess I didn't. I mean if I needed a sabbatical, it's no wonder you needed to go off on your own…"

"It's not the same," he repeated. "Like you said, I needed to adapt and that's not something you could do for me. And that's not even the point. Belthazor was evil but you're a good witch, Phoebe, and to lose your powers…"

"It's not just the powers," she clarified, "it's a part of myself. A part that makes me the person I am. I'm not the same woman you remember, Cole, which was, what, a week ago?"

"Actually," he hesitated, "just a few minutes ago when you threw the vanquishing potion at me."

"That wasn't me," she defended herself even though he hadn't accused her. "It was some version of me that had lived through a different set of circumstances…Paige told me what our marriage was like."

"Not what I'd expected," he quietly admitted. "I hadn't anticipated that Paige would've been killed before meeting you."

"Paige wasn't too crazy 'bout that part either," she commented before eating some more soup.

He nearly smiled but declared, "It wasn't what I'd wanted."

"I know," she acknowledged as she put her spoon down in her bowl.

"All I wanted was for us to be happy," he insisted. "I never wanted to hurt you…or your sisters."

"I know that too," she said as she turned to face him and hesitantly touched his arm, "but you did and it changed me. It changed how I looked at myself and others, how I viewed magic, and it took losing my powers to make me see what it was I wanted. And now that I'm starting to get them back, I -"

"But you can't levitate," he interrupted.

"I started with premonitions just like when I first got my powers," she smiled. "Nowhere near as advanced as before I lost them but it's a start."

"Should progress faster than the first time," he mused.

She nodded and returned to her bowl of soup. After a few quiet minutes, she said, "P3 was pretty bad, I guess."

"Leo healed you as best he could," he told her, trying not to picture her bloody and broken body.

"Piper said something about him not being strong," she worried as she stopped eating. "Was he attacked to?"

"Not in the way you think," Cole assured her. "Your nephew's kidnapping was a distraction, something to keep you occupied while -"

"Zankou attacked Leo?"

Pleased she was obviously thinking more clearly, he clarified, "He killed an Avatar and Leo felt it, as I'm sure did all the remaining Avatars."

"Zankou's an Avatar now?" She pushed her chair back and struggled to get to her feet and even though he'd quickly restrained her, shefelt like hyperventilating, "You said Zankou absorbs powers and -"

"It's not the same as being an Avatar," Cole assured her.

"But there's gotta be something in the Book we can -"

"The only thing is the Avatar vanquish," he calmly interrupted, "and right now, Kyle's the one who has it."

Phoebe practically sank back in her seat, "Great, just great…"

He looked at her in surprise, "You don't like him?"

"I've tried," she told him, "but the way he came into our lives, practically forcing us to help him…He drugged Darryl's colleague and kept her locked away in a sanitarium. And maybe he only wanted to find a way to get the Avatars but I can't trust him like Paige does. I want to, 'specially for her sake, but I can't."

"You think he's a demon using you the same way I did?" he asked, unsure if he actually wanted an answer.

"I hope not," she whispered. "Is there some stamp on our foreheads inviting demons to come into our lives and gain our trust so they can wreak havoc on us?" She shook her head in apology when she saw his stung expression, "I shouldn't've brought it up. I really had left that part in the past. And I know that being the Charmed Ones mean the demons have to be trickier when they come after us but sometimes…"

"You're right," he simply announced. "Kyle's a demon."

The room began to spin and she brought a hand to her temple.

Cole quickly steadied her and stared intently at her until she seemed to focus on him. "Maybe you should lie down again."

"I thought I heard…You're wrong, Kyle can't be a demon…" she uttered.

"It's a long story," he said as he slowly removed his hands from her and sat back in his seat, "but it's true. Leo confirmed that Kyle's a demon. A Gloryhound that -"

"Guess that explains why he's obsessed with the Avatars," she murmured.

He looked at her in surprise, "You know what a Gloryhound is?"

She shrugged, "You know I've studied the Book. Besides, the Seer told me that she'd just had a request fr-"

"The Seer," he worried. "I thought she was vanquished."

Phoebe suddenly realized his confusion, "That Seer was. I'm talking about the new one. Kira said she was an oracle before she was, how'd she put it…promoted."

"Kira? I haven't seen her in, well, a long time." He caught the look in her eyes and was mildly amused by the jealousy he was positive she didn't even realize was there. "She was cute but a bit too bubbly for me. She had this thing about grass," he chuckled, "always wanting me to bring her back a handful so she could walk on it. So, she's the seer now…Gonna be a lot more interesting with her around. Maybe I'll pay her a visit when it's - what's wrong?"

"Zankou killed her," she sadly informed him and she saw the anger smoldering in his eyes. "She wanted to switch sides and Leo brought her to us for protection. It's how this whole thing got started, you know."

"Explain," was all he could say.

"One of the ways she tried to prove herself was to give me a vision," she wistfully recalled, "and it confirmed that I'd…It showed me a peaceful future because of the Avatars. I spent time with her, Cole, and she was ready to give up everything to become human, even knowing she wouldn't have a soul." She stared into her bowl and tearfully added, "She was so close…"

"But Zankou got to her first," he realized.

"I know she was evil but I connected with her," Phoebe continued as she wiped her eyes, "on so many levels."

"She wasn't evil," he corrected. "Her power was to see the future and that's what she did."

"I thought we could've been friends," Phoebe told him as she pushed away her bowl, her appetite now gone.

"She probably thought the same thing," he consoled her. She didn't respond and he insisted, "You need to finish the soup."

She nodded but burst into tears, "Why does magic have to be so evil?"

Cole cautiously reached out and, when she willingly went into his arms, he wrapped his arms around her. "It's not the magic, Phoebe, but the beings who wield it." He stroked her hair and her back, "Every day, there are people, mortal humans, doing evil things without the use of magic."

"It's not fair," she sniffled.

"No," he agreed, "but life's not supposed to be fair."

She felt his lips brush against the top of her head and snuggled closer to him.

The way they sat was a bit uncomfortable but Cole allowed himself to smile when she nuzzled his chest and wrapped her hands around his waist. "I missed this," he admitted.

She couldn't help but release a combined chuckle and sniffle, "What, picking up the pieces every time I fall apart?"

"That too," he laughed. She only hugged him tighter and he said, more seriously, "I missed talking to you."

"I missed it too," she whispered, recalling her earlier conversation with her sister. "I didn't have to hide anything from you. You knew me so it was easy to talk…"

"I'm sorry I didn't give you space," he suddenly said.

She nuzzled him again and confessed, "I'm sorry I wasn't more patient. I'm sorry I wasn't more understanding." She pulled back and gazed into his surprised eyes and caressed his cheek, "I'm sorry I lost faith."

"You didn't," he shook his head. "You told me the truth, that you loved me but that we had no future. But I wasn't ready to accept it and, well, you know how that turned out. I became an Avatar so I could change the world to one where you'd still love me. It's the only reason but not a very wise one."

"Oh, Cole," she sniffled, "I never stopped loving you but I couldn't see any other way to be with you."

"We both made a mess of things, didn't we?" he commented as he framed her face with his hands and stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. "We had it all and let it slip away."

Phoebe placed her hands on his and leaned in, "Sometimes, late at night, when I can't sleep, even now, I'll find myself wishing…"

Cole leaned in closer too and, when she tilted her head up and closed her eyes, he had every intention of following through with a slow, sweet kiss.

"He's gone!"

Startled, both Cole and Phoebe broke apart and turned to find Paige standing in the kitchen wearing nothing but a man's dress shirt.

"He's gone," she tearfully repeated, oblivious to what she'd interrupted, "Kyle's gone."

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