(Ten)

"Who's Zartak?" Remy asked the pilot ghost.

"He wuz Sheyman's cousin. A real asshole, too. He didn't ever see Courtesans as real livin' things. They wuz just objects ta be used fer money. I made money fer Sheyman, shure, but it wuz different. We lived offa it and lived good. I didn't ever want fer nuthin'. He got me all kinda toys and played with me alla the time."

Kimble pointed out to the balcony and to the slight row of snowy peaks beyond. "See them mountains up there? Sheyman took me there once. He wuzn't ever suppozed ta take a 'gram outta the castle, but he tooks me anaways. Snuck me out with some power cubes. It wuz so much fun, like a game. Guess he wanted ta see if he could pull it off. It wuz so beautiful up there with alla the snow an all. I ain't never gonna ferget that.

"Zartak? Well, he never took me nowheres. He just took alla the money I made fer himself without even a 'thanks ya, please'. I didn't ever likes him. Alla his 'grams wuz sad an tired alla the time an' they wuzn't even empathic like me. He never played with any of us, just fucked us whenever he felt like it or smacked us around. Didn't ever git no love vibrations offa that jerk, I kin tell ya that. Sheyman didn't really know what Zartak wuz like. He meant well, but he wuz dyin' and only wanted some place fer me ta go. It wuzn't really his fault."

Sheyman looked up at Young Kimble after her remark. "Zartak don't hatecha, baby doll. His stable's real small so he gots the most time ta play with ya." Kimble knew better than to argue so she just lay there quiet. Sheyman gave her hand a squeeze. "I wantcha ta do sumpthin' fer me, Kim."

"What's that?"

"I wantcha ta 'member the lessons I taughtcha, 'specially the one 'bout makin' love. Tell it back ta me now sos I know ya learned it good."

Young Kimble kissed the back of Sheyman's head and hugged him. "Never, ever fuck. Fuckin's fer lazy folks what cain't feel nuthin'. Fuckin' is greedy, fuckin' is wasteful. Fuckin's fer folks who only wanna do fer themselves an no one else. Makin' love is good an fine cuz ya gives a piece o' yerself when ya do it. Spread out enough pieces an' they'll all come back to ya, bigger'n when ya gave 'em out. The more ya gives, the better it is fer evraone else."

"That's good, my sweet Kimble," Sheyman wheezed. He coughed again, but not as badly as before. " 'Member, that it ain't about sex now, Kimble. This's 'bout evrathin'. Alla yer work, whatever it is. Cheatin' an' stealin' an' lyin' is all fuckin'. Evrabody loses. Gotta do yer work right. Give yerself evra time, alla th' time. Folks will see it an' know yer quality. You gotta 'member this, Kim, cuz things're gonna change fer you. Evrathin' changes an' not always fer the best."

"Don't scares me," she pleaded, starting to shake.

"Aw, I ain't worried 'boutcha, darlin'. Yer gonna be okay. I kin tell. Yer real special, Kim. The spirits musta liked me good ta send me such a fine Courtesan like you. Huh, the Council said I couldn't ever make one. I wuzn't smart enough. But look atcha. Yer so beautiful and fine. The best. Never needed ta make another cuz there ain't no one gonna come close to yer shine, baby doll."

She started to cry. "Don' leave me, please!"

"Nuthin's gonna stop that. 'S all right. We're gonna see each other again, I kin feel it."

"I loves ya so much!"

"I knows ya do. I kin feel yer heart."

"Don' gots no heart," she said sadly.

"Maybe. Maybe not. Whatcha do got is bright an' loud in my mind. I'll always be able ta find ya. I'll look in on ya from time ta time, make shure ya keep what I taughtcha."

"Stay with me, father, please! I cain't live with ya gone!" she continued to sob.

"Yes, ya can and ya will. Yer much too strong ta stay down fer long. 'Grams like you live a long time, yer life's just beginnin'. The whole world is waitin' out there fer ya."

"Don' wants it withoutcha..."

"Yes, ya do. I seen ya lookin' up at the stars. I know yer wonderin' what's goin' on up there. Maybe some day you'll find out." Sheyman paused, rubbing her arms with his thumbs. "I knows yer gonna git lonely from time ta time, butcha gots ta 'member never ta steals their love, Kim. Never takes it without askin', huh? You kin do fer yerself if ya hafta."

"It ain't the same fer me. No heat. I cain't hear no hearts beatin'. 'Sides, why would I ever hafta ta steal it? Nobody ain't never said no ta me."

"You ain't had as much trainin' as ya should, baby doll. You gots a lotta spirit, too. Maybe ya won't always be someplace like this where sessions happen alla the time. I knows ya need 'em. I knows ya needs ta feel 'em lovin' ya. You gots ta be strong without that. Ya cain't depend on it. No matter how scared ya git, no matter how angry, never ever force y'self on nobody, Kim. That's the worst evil in the world. Promise me."

"I promise, father."

Sheyman coughed again. It was bad this time, and his body heaved from the effort. When Young Kimble took the towel away, it was bloody. Sheyman trembled and tears leaked out of his eyes. "Uhggnnn...it hurts so bad now!"

She held him, sobbing with him. His pain was blasting into her, cutting her up inside. "Father!"

"Won't be long now, Kimble. I'm ready. I'm so damn tired..."

Young Kimble held her dying father and cried, her heart breaking. She would never love anyone else again. Not like this. Sheyman calmed and gradually fell asleep, his breathing raspy and dry.

Kimble wouldn't leave him, not even after she felt him grow still a few moments later and gradually stop breathing. His shine flickered and then winked out, he was gone. She raised her chin and wailed, howling her pain and anguish.

What followed next was chaos and confusion. The neighbors came running, saw Sheyman had died and left. Some other people came and dragged Young Kimble away from Sheyman's body. It was a struggle, she was crying and wailing, begging to be allowed to remain with him. These people were unsettled at her strange behavior, they knew she was a Courtesan, but had never seen such devotion in an artificial person before. They chatted and worried, wringing their hands, unsure of what to do with her.

Kimble wasn't stupid, she saw in their shines that they meant to remove her. Knowing she would never return to this apartment, Kimble managed to grab a few precious mementoes before they finally forced her out of her home, taking her away to someplace quiet. Unlike Kimble was now, this younger incarnation of himself did not possess any telekinetic talent, she was unable to stop any of this from happening to her. It didn't keep her from fighting them like a wild thing, snarling and biting. It wasn't enough to free herself and they tossed her into a room she had never been in before, leaving a handler to watch over her. She stumbled to a window but there was no escape, the fall was too steep. She couldn't survive without the energy cubes anyways and wasn't quite ready for Death herself just yet. There was a bed in here and she fell into it, covering her face as she sobbed.

Gambit watched all this with an aching heart. He went to Young Kimble on the bed and tried to touch her, but his hands just slid right through her, they were still ghosts to one another.

"It's jus' a file. It ain't real," the pilot Kimble explained softly from behind him. It didn't keep him from hiding the suffering in his voice.

"Je sais, I know. But what you felt was real enough," Gambit said sadly, feeling her pain as if it was his own. "Je suis de'sole. Gambit knows dis pain, 'e's felt it, too. I 'eld my brother in my arms when 'e left me. It 'urt just like dis."

"Then ya knows there ain't no worse pain. My heart's been breakin' ever since. Fallen thinks that it wuz the Clan what broke me, but she's wrong. It wuz this. Evrathin' that ever meant anathin' ta me wuz gone b'fore the Dognan ever came. All the rest, well, I guess ya could say they wuz all aftershocks, ya know? Like a quake. 'Cept that sometimes the aftershocks is worse than the quake itself."

The door opened and a man came in to claim Young Kimble for himself. This was Zartak. Immediately, Gambit could sense that there was no love inside of this man. His features were hard, cruel, his shine reflecting a lack of understanding and caring. He looked on Kimble as nothing more than a possession, a slave. He took her home with him, offering no comfort for her loss. He simply shoved her into a room with three other Courtesans. He showed her a bed and sat her down. "This is your new place. You'll stay here until I call you for a session." He saw that she still clutched her bag of possessions from Sheyman. "What is this?"

"M' Master's dead. That's all I gots left," she replied sadly.

Zartak peered at her suspiciously. "Why should you care if Sheyman is dead? You're just a 'gram."

Young Kimble started to cry from the pain of her loss and his harsh words. The agony she felt inside was devastating and one look at the man told her it was certain to only grow worse.

Zartak just grunted at her. "Oh, I get it. You're one of them 'touchy, feeley' kinda 'grams, huh? Well, that's just great. My rich cousin dies and all he leaves me is a stupid defective 'gram. Look at ya. What a waste!"

Kimble cringed and backed away. Zartak didn't care, he dumped out her bag and looked over what she'd taken. "You've got a good eye, though. I can sell these at least."

"No!" she cried and grabbed at the trinkets. They were all she had.

Zartak spun and slapped her viciously across the face. "Get back, ya little bitch! Let's get one thing straight right now. I'm yer Master now and yer just a stupid little 'gram. You possess nothing because you are the possession, got that? I don't know what Sheyman did with you and I don't really care. This is my place and you belong to me now. You will do as you're told just like all of the other 'grams here that work right. You can't handle that, I'll turn you in to the Council and they'll put you down, understand?"

Young Kimble fell to the floor, sobbing. She had never been struck before and the pain was startling and overwhelming. Zartak gave her a kick on the way out, taking her bag of things with him. His vibrations of hatred were strong and hurt her just as much as the blows. She looked around her, bewildered at the other holograms, but they turned away. They didn't see the shines or feel vibrations as she did and so didn't understand her behavior any more than Zartak did, their programming didn't allow for it. For the first time, Young Kimble was completely alone.

"Well, that wuz a lotta fun, huh?" the pilot Kimble remarked to Remy sarcastically as they watched all this. "That about sums it up fer me with Zartak. He took what I had an' sold it. Fallen always wondered why I talk like this, huh? It's cuz it's all I gots left from Sheyman. This an' alla them good things he taught me. I won't ever change this way 'a speakin', never," he said, bitterness and conviction shining in his eyes. "Zartak wuz the first one ta ever hits me. I never felt anathin' like that before and stayed in line as much as I could. I didn' stay long, thank the Spirits. He couldn't take havin' such a moody 'gram around so he dumped me on someone else. I kept gittin' passed around a lot after that. Wuzn't much longer that I ended up in the box."

"What's de box?"

"That's where the 'grams go b'fore they git put down."

The file scene changed and Young Kimble was now sitting in the middle of an empty prison cell on the floor. The only light coming in was from a barred window. It was night time and bright moonlight came streaming in, casting Young Kimble's shadow across the floor. There was a flashing restraining collar around her neck and heavy cuffs on her wrists. She had her head down and was quietly crying.

"I wuzn't all that mad about it, I guess," the pilot Kimble explained looking down at himself. "I tol' myself it wuz fer the best. I wuz gonna see my father again an' he wuz gonna takes alla my pain. I wuz jus' all scared it wuz gonna hurt real bad or sumpthin' when they killed me."

Remy tried to understand all of this. "Did you try talkin' to de Council? Did you tell dem how you helped dose people wit deir pain?"

"Yeah, but it done me no good. All they saw wuz some stupid 'gram with idears 'a grandeur." Kimble's voice changed as he imitated them with sarcastic sweetness, " 'Silly ol' 'gram. Thinkin' ya kin feel. Thinkin' ya might be alive. Sheesh, what is this fuckin' world cummin' to, huh? Better take care 'a that right quick. Slam! In the box ya go, ya silly little 'gram. Gonna fix yer ass real good, you'll see', " the pilot Kimble joked without humor, his eyes flinty and cold. "Sound a little familiar, huh? Logan just don' know what it feels like, them daggers what come outta his mouth." He turned away as more tears leaked out of his eyes. It seemed like all he did was cry now, but he couldn't stop it from happening.

Gambit was quick to come to his teammate's defense. "Espe're, cher. Hold on. Wolvie don' mean half of de shit 'e say, mon amis. 'E jus' don't know how to deal wit you 'cause you feel too much an' 'e feels nuthin' at all."

Kimble sniffed and looked up at him. "He feels lotsa things. Hate, revulsion, loathin'. I knows it cuz it's all that's been cummin' my way. His shine is full of it. Henry says he's all full a compassion an' honor. What a fuckin' joke. Fallen knows what honor is. It's there fer my brother just like her love. Logan don't know what honor and compassion really is."

Remy grew even more defensive of Logan, his voice growing a bit stern. "E'coutez-moi. You listen, Kim, an' you listen good, comprenez? 'E does know honor an' compassion. It's dere, Gambit's seen it. C'est la ve'rite'. Logan's always been dere anytime we needed 'im, sacrificin' everyt'ing 'e has, hien? 'E's on de Lucky Dragon right now all cut up an' bleedin' from Vally. 'E never 'esitated, mon ami, not once. 'E took on Vally an' Joseph together to save all of us. To save you, too.

"De two of you, I jus' don' know what it is wit you. Neither one of you sees de other. Both of you just need to sit down an' talk it all out or punch each other silly, I jus' don' know which, but you two be sellin' each other short. You gotta work dis out or you'll never be right together, never. Comprenez?"

The pilot Kimble turned away towards the window, considering what Remy was telling him. He said nothing for a moment, then cocked his head. "Kin ya hears 'em yet, Remy?"

"Who?"

"Listen. Won't be long now."

Remy was quiet and after a moment, he heard the whine of Dognan ships coming down from above. Young Kimble got up and went to the window, looking out with wonder up into the sky.

"Just one more day an' alla my pain woulda been gone," the pilot Kimble whispered. "Cain't never catch a break."

"Non, dey saved you," Gambit insisted, ever the optimist.

The pilot shook his head. "Did they? I went from one fuckin' prison to another. Went from one bad Master to another. The Dognan put me on a shelf fer the Clan ta find. That wuzn't so bad, huh? Alls they ever took from me wuz time. But the Clan...they gave me things I never had before."

"What's dat?"

"Real pain...rage...an' Zander."