The Journal of Racetrack Higgins Ch 12 ~ St. Patty's Day

Disclaimer: SLASH… if ya don't like it, Don't Read IT!  I don't own anything either… it's either owned by Disney or they are real things…

A/N: Yes, I'm late in updating… I had yet another bit of writer's block… but never fear, I am updating now!  Enjoy…

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3/17/04

St. Patrick's Day.  What a fun day!  Since the Conlon's are extremely Irish, we had everything you would expect of St. Patty's Day… Corned beef, cabbage, soda bread, and yes, even beer.  Everything was delicious! 

But all this celebrating made me miss my parents even more.  Although my mom's Italian, she does have some Irish in her blood.  She always made a big deal over this holiday, decorating our house and always making me where green no matter how much I protested. Plus, she made the best damn Irish Soda Bread ever!  It was an old family recipe passed down from generation to generation.

Ya know, I just miss my mom period.  True, she kicked me out, but still, she's my mother!  I've seen her everyday for the past eighteen years and now, all of a sudden; I don't see her or talk to her at all.  She's taken care of me all of my life, through thick and thin.  We fought constantly, but she still always forgave me.  Well, except for this past argument…

Mrs. Conlon a great mother figure, but that's all she'll ever be to me… a mother figure. She will never ever replace my mom in my heart.  My mom will always be my mom, no matter what she's done to me.  I still love her.

…God, ya never realize how much your parents mean to you until they aren't there for you anymore…

Living here is great and all (for the obvious reason), but I just want to go home!

If it wasn't my senior year, I woulda instantly gone to California to live with my dad.  But I didn't want to leave my senior year.

I'll give my mom a little bit more time, like a week or so, and then I'm gonna try to talk to her again.  Hopefully, she'll take me back.

It's late, I'm gonna go to bed.  Later.

~Racetrack

3/19/04

All those good feelings about my mom?  Yeah, all gone.

Since I was waiting anxiously to hear from colleges, everyday after school I would check the mail at my house, knowing my mom was always at work at that time. 

So naturally, today Spot and me walked to my mailbox.  I opened it up, and to my surprise (and delight), there was a huge, white envelope that had Muhlenberg College [1] stamped on the front of it. 

"Could it be?"  I said, anxiously excited.  "They don't send rejection letters in a huge envelope, right Spot?"

"Just open it!"  Spot answered, just as anxious as I was.

I eagerly ripped open the package and read the first line. 

"…Congratulations, Anthony!  We are happy to inform you that you have been accepted into Muhlenberg's Class of 2008!"

I just stared at the words for a second, not fully comprehending what I had just read.  Spot interrupted my thoughts.

"Race, ya got in!"

"I got in?  I GOT IT!  I'm goin' to college!"  In the spur of the moment, I leaved forward into Spot, catching him in a kiss.  I was in heaven until a very angry voice ripped through my heart.

"Anthony Michael Higgins!  What da hell do you think you are doing?"

…Yupp, you guessed it.  My mom.

We broke apart quickly and I shakily turned to face my mother, who was standing wide-eyed and furious on our front porch.

"H..Hi..mom…" I managed to squeak out.

"Don't 'hi mom' me, young man.  I will not tolerate that kind of behavior on my property at all.  Take your… 'friend' and get off my lawn now or I am calling the police!"

 My face paled at that and I couldn't speak.  Spot, on the other hand, could.

"Mrs. Higgins, how can you say that?  He's your son.  How can you treat him like that?"

"He may be my son, but I want nothing to do with…" She made a disgusted face. "…Your kind of people."

Spot was outraged, as his eyes narrowed in anger and he clenched his fists at his side.

"Our kind of people?  God, what is it with you damn homophobic, close-minded people?  We are human beings too, ya know!  We eat, breath, sleep, talk, everything the same as you!  Who care about our personal lives?  It's our business, not any of yours.  So ya better get used to us, 'cuz we ain't changing who we are, no matter what anyone says."

I looked up at Spot with awe.  He had the guts to stand up to my mother.  I, her own son, didn't.

My mom must have been shocked by his outburst because she couldn't seem to formulate a sentence.  Finally, she threw up her hands in defeat.

"Fine.  Just get off my lawn!"  She hatefully spat out, turning inside and slamming the door behind her.

I stood there for a few seconds, not moving.  Then I glanced at Spot, who was looking at the house with his eyes burning with anger.  I placed a hand on his shoulder.  Startled, he looked back toward me.

"Thanks Spot.  I don't know what I woulda don't without ya."  He shrugged in reply, but didn't speak.  "I mean it… You saw me.  I was like a deer in a headlight.  I couldn't speak!"

There was a few seconds more of silence.  Finally, Spot broke it.

"Your mom's a bitch, ya know that?"

"Yeah… I know.  Come one, let's go back to your house."

We started back, but Spot stepped on something.  I looked down and to my surprise, it was my college acceptance letter.  I bent down to pick it up, hot tears forming in my eyes.  I felt Spot's hand on my back.

"Don't worry… it will get better."

"I hope so."

We walked back into his house.

That leaves me here and now.  I've tried to call my dad, but his girlfriend said he was at work still.

I'm happy and pissed at the same time.  Ya ever had that feeling?  When something great happens, but then a bad thing comes along and overshadows everything, making your happy feelings instantly be whipped out?  Yeah, that's what it's like right now.

I don't feel like talking to anyone.  Mrs. Conlon had called me down to dinner, but I refused.  I even refused talking to Spot.

I don't know why.  I just want high school to end so I can get out of Jersey.  Away from my mother.  Away from everyone…period.

~Racetrack

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[1] Muhlenberg… my sister's alma mater, and hopefully, mine too!

A/N:  wows… I actually like this chapter…

And I apologize for last chappie.. it sucked… Hopefully this one is better!

And still 4 more reviews away from 100!  Come on, review!!

*Shoutouts*

StudentNumber24601:  Thank you SO much for the constructive criticism.  It really had helped me!  I tried to use your advice as much as possible.  Did I do all right? Lol

BlueBoxer:  Thanks!  Happy you read it in one sitting!  Glad ya liked it!

Poker O'Shea: POKER! Hehe.. ain't Spot great? Lol.. thankies!

StrawberriShake: Yummy thin mints… evil HSPAs!  Like shortened days! Lol…  Randomness, I know… thanks!

Scout73: Thankies!  Glad you liked it!

Saturday:  Yes, ffn IS stupid!  Aww.. thankies!  I love SR too! Hehe.. and Race was Hamlet.  Don't die, I updated!  Thanks again!

Thanks to all of u!  Review time now!  My mom's famous Irish Soda Bread for all of you!

~Braids