THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGGINS CH 14 ~ Something to live for
Disclaimer: SLASH. If you don't like it, don't read it. Simple as that. I don't own any of the Newsies. Anything else, I either own it, or it's a real thing.
A/N: YES I am alive! Two weeks w/o an update… wow, that's bad… Oh well, enjoy!
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4/5/04
Spring Break. Whoop-di-frickin'-do. One whole week of locking myself in my room. A whole week stuck just a hallway from Spot, knowing we're not together anymore.
This past week of school has been hell; especially the car rides there and back. On Monday, it was the first time since like January that I didn't have a morning kiss from Spot. Instead of talking the entire ride like we normally do, I sat there, staring out the window, mentally kicking myself for what I did.
I honestly don't even know the last time I laughed… maybe two-three weeks ago? Maybe more? I don't care. All I want is two things- to have Spot back, and to stay in my room. And no one is gonna stand in my way of doing the last thing.
Later
~Racetrack
4/8/04
Well, I didn't fully get my wish. But it hasn't turned out bad at all.
This morning, bright and early at ten o'clock, Mrs. Conlon burst into my room.
"Wake up, Race! It's a gorgeous day!"
I groaned and rolled onto my side. She didn't get the message.
"Nope! You're not gonna sleep away the day today!" She sing-songed out, too perky for my taste.
Just as I rolled over again, she pulled my shades open, revealing the sunshine right into my eyes. I shielded my eyes to avoid the bright light by pulling a pillow over my head.
"Oh no you're not! You are getting out of bed mister. You're not going to waste away under my care." I simple groaned in response and stayed in bed. She continued anyway. "Race, I'm not leaving this room until you get up. It's not healthy what you are doing to yourself. You've become a son to me in the past months, you know that Race? And I can't stand to see my son do this to himself."
I peered my head out from behind the pillow a bit. Did she just say that she thinks of me as her son? Not just Spot's boyfriend?
She saw my eyes and smiled. Did she actually care about me like that? Like… a mother would? Wow… finally an adult cares about me.
Reluctantly, and ever so slowly, I made myself get out of bed. Mrs. Conlon left, but not before telling me I'd better be downstairs in a half hour for a chocolate chip pancake breakfast. I promised her I would, and for once, I meant it. As I was in the shower, I knew what I had to do today. Spot.
Right after breakfast, which, by the way, I never remembered pancakes tasting so good, I went to talk to Spot. I caught his as he was walking up the stairs.
"Spot…" I called out. He turned around, startled that I had spoken. "Can we talk?"
I swear it, his face lit up a bit, and the corner of his mouth tilted the tiniest bit upwards. "Sure. Let's go upstairs."
I followed him up to his room, where he shut the door and turned on his radio. He flopped onto his bed, while I plopped down onto his beanbag chair. I nervously kept myself busy by looking through his CD rack, even thought I knew what he had almost by heart. I heard Spot sigh and I looked up.
"So… what did you want to talk 'bout, Race?
I locked eyes with him. "About us."
"Race, I told ya-"
I cut him off as I dropped my eyes. "I know what you said… I know what I said. And I also know how I've been acting lately has hurt you. I said some things that I would never say. I regret everything now. I was just too…whatever I was, to apologize. But I'm apologizing now. I know I was wrong, and I want to get out of whatever I'm in. And I know you'll help me along the way. So please…" I looked up at him again. "Forgive me?"
His eyes were unreadable as he connected our gaze. There was silence for a couple minutes. Then he finally responded.
"I'd like that." Relief washed over me and I started to smile. He continued, adding in his trademark smirk. "But… if you go back to your 'glum-and-dumb' stage…" he trailed off.
"Oh trust me. Even if I do, I won't do that again."
He laughed as I got up and walked toward his bed. I must have caught him off guard because he fell back on the bed as I kissed him. But I didn't mind it at all… *wink-wink* I missed those kisses so much. I'm glad to have him back.
True, my mom's still a major bitch, but I think I'll get over it. Mrs. Conlon care for me so much, and plus, I have Spot back to help me through this. I have something to live for now. And his name's Spot.
~Racetrack
4/13/04
Well, Spring Break flew by quickly after Thursday. No longer am I so depressed. No longer do I spend every waking minute alone in my room. Not that I don't spend time in my room- I'm just with Spot then…
Yeah, whenever I see my house (which is like everyday), I get a pain in my heart, thinking of what happened, but Spot really has helped me get my mind off of that.
School. Actually, a lot happened today. And I must say, Spot deserves so much for it.
It all started when Spot and I were walking through the skywalk to get to gym class. All we were doing was talking about some random thing and walking side by side, when Brady, the resident jock-gay basher, roughly pushed me down and said, "Get out of my way, fag."
I was knocked into the window and my books flew out of my hands, and scattered across the floor. I was stunned, because no one had used physical violence on me; they had only done it verbally.
Before I could get up, I heard the sound of a punch and Spot say, "You need to be taught a lesson." I quickly whipped around and, to my delight, Brady's nose was gushing blood. In an instant, Brady flew at Spot, and before long, they were engaged in an all out fight.
In a flash, a crowd of students was encircled around them, cheering the fight on. Since this was happening in the middle of the skywalk, there were no teachers in sight to stop it.
I pushed my way to the front so I could see. By that time, it was clear that they were an equal match. Even though Spot's short and scrawny, he sure knows how to fight. He can really hold his own in any kind of fight. Although, he does get hurt sometimes.
I winced as Brady punched him hard in the face, splitting his lip. A cheer went through the crowd as Spot again got hit hard in the stomach. He doubled over, coughing and cursing, trying to regain his breath.
"Come on Spot!" I called out, trying to give him encouragement.
Upon hearing my voice, he tilted his head up and reacted just in time to block Brady's next blow. He caught Brady's arm, and punched him in the jaw.
Just then, we heard it- the whistles and shouts of the approaching teachers. Brady and Spot, of course, were oblivious to it and continued their fight. The students thought, fearing the wrath of Leonard, the vice-principal, began to disappear. I stayed right where I was, not taking my eyes away from the scene in front of me.
"BOYS!" Leonard's powerful voice bellowed out, causing Spot and Brady to instantly jump apart. Leonard motioned for the two security guards with him to grab the boys and make sure they didn't start up again. "Follow me. You, too" He said, motioning to me, since I was the only other person left in the skywalk. I silently followed them to Leonard's office, the most dreaded room in all of North.
Spot and Brady went immediately into his office, while I waited outside to be called in. I slouched in my chair more as I heard Leonard start to yell at them, although I couldn't make out the words. After what seemed like forever, they slowly filed out of the room. Spot saw me and mouthed 'ten days' to me. Instantly, I was glad that he only got ten. That's the least you can get if you fight on school grounds, but Leonard normally gives more. I smiled to Spot as he walked out into the hall.
"HIGGINS!" I jumped at Leonard's voice, but instantly went into his office. As I entered, he motioned for me to sit down. He must have noticed my discomfort, for he said, "Don't worry. You're not in trouble. They explained the whole situation."
I was amazed. Not just that I wasn't in trouble, but that his voice was actually nice. He explained to me that he is going to try to stop all the verbal abuses. Needless to say, I was shocked. And desperately wanted to know what was actually said in their with Spot and Brady.
The fight was the talk of the school for the rest of the day. None of my friends were in the skywalk at that time, so they all wanted to hear my first-hand account. I must have told it like a million times. At the end of the day, I hitched a ride home with Jack, since he doesn't live that far from me.
When I got to the house, I finally got a chance to ask Spot exactly what Leonard had said that made him so understanding. Spot's answer surprised me. He actually told Leonard the truth! Even about us being boyfriends. And Leonard was supportive of us, for he gave Brady fifteen days suspension, not just the normal ten.
Spot's injuries from the fight included a black eye, a split lip, a bloody nose, and numerous bruises. And he took the pain all for me. It really shows how much he cares. That's why he means so much to me.
Well, it's ten days till Spot's eighteenth birthday… and I know exactly what I'm getting him! :)
~Racetrack
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A/N: hehe… did you honestly think I would go more than one chappie with them broken up? I couldn't bear the thought of it! lol…
Leonard's my real vice-principal. But he's so not as mean as I portrayed him… He's the guard advisor and loves me. I've gotten out of many detentions because of him! Hehe..
AND April 23rd is Gabe Damon's actual bday, so I'm writing a chappie esp for it!
ONE MORE THING! lol – A WEEK TILL I'M SWEET SIXTEEN! Hehe april 21st!
Shoutouts
Poker: Don't kill me! They're back together! Hehe… thankies for the review!
Repeat: hehe… you're not psycho… lol Thanks!
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TakeOneLook: Flit! hehe.. don't worry… they're back together! Thankies!
Scout73: What's the number for animal control?!?! Hehe Thanks!
Air: Wow! Thanks! Glad ya liked it!
Saturday: hehe… that would be funny… gotta love it! I 3 your reviews! Thankies!
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StrawberriShake: HAHAH race in a shrink's bed.. funny mental image! Thankies!
Shadowsdancingdragons: I LOVE YOU! Thanks so much for the six reviews!! Hehe and if ya noticed—I sorta got inspiration for this chappie from your last review! Thankies!
Well, it's that time again! REVIEW!
~braids
