Chapter Sixteen

Phoebe continued to dress quickly, "Look, I know you're mad but give me a br--"

"You've no idea how I feel," Cole snarled. He whipped his T-shirt off the bed and angrily pulled it over his head, ranting as he did, "Did you enjoy your little performance in the kitchen? A bid for sympathy for poor powerless Phoebe? Or was it just one of Phoebe's standard avoidance patterns?"

She froze in the middle of putting on her halter-top. "Ouch," she quietly commented, grateful her back was to him. "Guess it's a good thing then that you'll be leaving to search for a dark priest," she added after securing the collar at the back of her neck. Did he really think she pretended about the premonition just to make him worry about her? Did he really think she would play a game like that? With him of all people? Why was he so angry? Not even her sisters were this mad. And why did she feel so drained that she couldn't be angry in return? Why did she just want to cry? She grabbed her shoes from the floor and announced, "I'll finish in the bathroom." She gasped and dropped the shoes when Cole yanked her arm as she reached the door.

With one hand spinning her to him and the other slamming the door to keep her in, he towered over her and seethed, "Not this time. You're not leaving me in pieces again."

"What are you talking about?" His fingers were digging into her shoulders and she struggled to free herself, "Cole, you're hurting me."

He barely loosened his grip and it took everything not to shake her. "Why don't you get it, Phoebe? I was terrified! I thought you were still hurt. You nearly died in my arms yesterday or did that event slip your mind?"

"I'm s--"

"And then to know it was only a premonition, even as bad as it was," he continued, "I couldn't have let go of you for anything, I was so relieved. And now to find out you lied about it, about it all…"

"I didn--"

"You can't keep do--"

"Cole, listen to me," she interrupted to explain again, "Kyle had to believe you were worried, that you all were worried, about me. It's the only way to make sure Zankou will come to us. He'll want to know what I saw and then we'll --"

"It's suicide!"

"It's a good plan," she maintained. "With our spell and our potion combined with a dark priest's potion, we have a real shot at vanquishing him…without turning to the Avatars." With a flash of annoyance, she questioned, "You have a better plan?" She felt his grip relax and searched his eyes for understanding but what she found was fear. Even without the full strength of her empathic power she could practically feel it pouring into her in waves. He was telling the truth. He was afraid. For her. For them. For them all. "Oh, Cole," she whispered and brought her hand up to his cheek. But he flinched from her touch and she softly apologized again for not having explained her plan, for having truly worried him. "There wasn't enough time. The idea only hit me when you realized Kyle was probably setting up Paige and there wasn't enough time to warn you. I had to play it that way in order for it to seem real."

"You could have had Piper freeze him," he calmly criticized, finally dropping his hands from her shoulders.

"I didn't think of that," she admitted when he suddenly turned from her. "There wasn't enough time…"

"That's always been our problem," he sadly acknowledged. "We've never had enough time."

Unsure where he was going with that comment, she couldn't help but agree, "There was always some plot or some demon to deal with. Always some pressure on us causing us to act and react."

"Instead of letting us be who we wanted," he nodded as he turned back to her. He saw the bruise marks forming on her collarbone and apologized in a defeated tone. "It seems I'm always hurting you."

Phoebe didn't need to look to know there'd be red splotches that would soon turn purple. She also knew that he wasn't only referring to her shoulders and held his gaze, "It seems like we're always hurting each other." For reasons she couldn't fathom, she felt the need to comfort him and assure him of…'What the hell do I want from him? He's right. I can't keep doing this to him. I either want him in my life or not. I can't have it both ways.'

Cole watched her confused expression and knew she was torn. 'She still cares, maybe even loves me.' But all he felt right now was sorrow and regret. Had they ever had a real shot at a future or had they only fooled themselves into believing theirs was to be like one of Phoebe's beloved fairy tale happy endings? Cole shook his head and finally acknowledged, "You were right about us." He knew she'd loved him and that she'd tried to make it work. They both had. But fate always twisted things and pulled them apart and only proved what she, and her sisters, had said over and over. 'Demons and witches don't belong together.'

"When have I ever been right about anything?" she complained. He gave her a quirky smile that faded too quickly and she sighed, "I've been to blame too, Cole, and I know that, even if I can't always admit it. And I am sorry, for everything."

He gave her a quick nod of understanding but said, "I'd better get moving. If I'm not back in time, get Leo to orb you all to safety. Don't take on Zankou alone." He saw the spark in her eyes and insisted, "I mean it, Phoebe. You made me promise you something this morning and I want the same promise in return. I don't want to come back here only to find your ashes in a pile on the kitchen floor."

"Don't be silly, demons rarely attack in the kitchen," she joked in a trembling voice. But she knew he was deadly serious and she nodded her agreement before he got any more upset. "Don't you think --" But Cole had already shimmered away and she unexpectedly felt very much alone. "Be safe," she wished in a whisper, "and come back to me." And in that instant, Phoebe realized her heart and mind had spoken as one.

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"Why hasn't he come yet?" Paige wondered as she watched Phoebe pace the length of the kitchen.

"You in a rush to die?" Piper muttered as she added a pinch more powder to the potion she was stirring.

Paige rolled her eyes as Piper waved away the resulting white smoke, "I meant Kyle."

"So did I," Piper retorted. "Look, Paige, I know you're upset but Kyle's a demon now. He's confused and that probably makes him more dangerous than Cole ever was."

"How can you say that?" Paige exclaimed.

Phoebe stopped and stared at her older sister in surprise but didn't say anything.

"It's just that Cole always had a plan," Piper tried to clarify. "He was sent by the Triad and Source to kill us. And then he fell for Phoebe and betrayed them."

"And then he became the Source and tried to kill us again and then went crazy and tried to kill us, again," Paige reminded her with annoyance. "At least Kyle's been good his whole life. We can turn him back."

"What I'm saying is that good and evil was always a matter of black and white to Cole," Piper continued as she stirred the boiling potion. "He chose one or the other and we knew where we stood with him."

"Oh, was this at the same time he was pretending not to be the Source of all Evil?" Paige practically sneered.

Piper ignored the jab and told her sister, "Zankou knows Kyle's been good so he's gonna get into Kyle's head and twist everything Kyle ever knew about good to make it evil. He'll be so subtle about it that Kyle won't even realize what's happening. But let's say he does, let's say some part of Kyle is actually resisting and --"

"And let's say he is," Paige interrupted. "Kyle might just surprise you, Piper. Remember, he only turned to Zankou in order to kill the Avatars, not 'cuz he wants to work with Zankou."

"And you think Zankou doesn't realize that?" Piper let the wooden spoon rest in the pot and focused on her sister. "Of course Zankou knows why Kyle approached him but that won't stop him from trying to turn Kyle to his side completely. Zankou will make everything seem so logical that Kyle won't have any reason not to believe him. And Kyle may end up doing everything wrong for, what'll be in his mind, all the right reasons."

"So how does that make him more dangerous?" Paige snapped. "Kyle isn't some puppet. He's still the same person he was yesterday before he went to Zankou. He's just a little more focused now on his own agenda of getting the Avatars. We can make him see what Zankou is doing. I know we can."

Phoebe shook her head and resumed her pacing as she rubbed her arms up and down, "This is all too new and strange for Kyle. If a part of him's fighting Zankou's influence, he won't be able to handle us too. More likely, he'll resent our interference, or worse, he'll attack without realizing what he's doing. Our best bet's to concentrate on Zankou and worry about Kyle after it's over."

"If we're still around," Piper muttered. "Y'know, Pheebs, it's practically winter. If you wore sleeves, you might not be so cold."

Phoebe shrugged but continued pacing, "Figured we'd end up down there for the fight and you know how hot it gets there."

Either she was too tired or her sisters were starting to make some sort of weird sense to her and Paige grudgingly asked, "So then why hasn't Zankou gotten here yet? Maybe Phoebe's plan's off-base."

"It's not, I can feel it," Phoebe answered distractedly. "Kyle reported to him and he's probably searching for a new Seer to confirm what I saw."

"But she won't be able to," Paige countered, "because you faked it."

"He'll be too suspicious to discount it," Piper replied.

Phoebe nodded and leaned against the counter, "He knows the power of the Charmed Ones and won't make a move until he gets absolute confirmation by coming straight to the source."

"No pun intended," Paige quipped.

"Huh?" Phoebe uttered.

Phoebe was obviously distracted by Cole and Paige shook her head, "Never mind." After a knowing look from her older sister, she hesitantly handed Phoebe a leather cord necklace. "I barely had time to do a thorough search for info at Magic School but I think this crystal should protect him."

Phoebe gaped at her younger sister, "You made the amulet to protect Cole?"

Paige shifted uncomfortably in her spot. It wasn't as if she'd completely forgiven Cole for everything he'd done and she hoped Phoebe wouldn't make too big of a deal about it. "Piper had to make the potion." She watched Phoebe gaze at the clear flat-shaped round quartz with a mixture of hope and fear and found herself saying, "I did come across something else that might help." Phoebe turned to her expectantly and she stammered, "Sometimes for a, well, blood helps, that is, y'see…" She took a deep breath and started over, "If a witch makes an amulet for a…loved one, then…" She noticed Phoebe immediately glance away at the word and she sighed when she realized that, knowingly or not, Phoebe had made her choice.

"Go on, Paige," Piper softly encouraged. She'd seen the way Phoebe's eyes lit up when Paige confessed. As she'd known from the moment Cole appeared in the attic, Phoebe wouldn't let him leave this time and it made her very proud of her youngest sister to put her own feelings aside for Phoebe's sake. It would be hard for them to accept him back into their lives but now wasn't the time to debate the good and evil of Cole Turner. "What about blood? What would the witch do?"

Easier to answer Piper than to look at a beaming Phoebe, Paige replied, "She would coat the amulet in her blood and recite a spell. The problem is that once it's bound to her, if anything happens to her, the amulet is weakened. And if she dies, well, the amulet becomes completely useless."

"What if something happens to the amulet?" Piper worried. "Does it work in reverse? Would the witch die?"

"No," Paige replied. But just as Piper sighed in relief, she cautioned, "But she'd be weakened and it wouldn't be something that would get better after a few days rest. She'd still have her powers but she'd be changed forever."

Piper nodded somberly to Phoebe, "Guess it's your choice then."

"How strong is it supposed to be?" Phoebe asked her younger sister. "I mean is it a one-time-only thing just for going against Zankou or is it meant to last?"

Paige shrugged, "I'm not sure but I'd imagine the amulet would protect him for as long as he wears it."

"Wait," Piper suddenly asked, "what if someone else were to get hold of the amulet? Would it protect them too? Or is it something meant only for Cole?"

"Again," Paige shrugged, "not sure. When I was enchanting the crystal, I did mention Cole by name so it's possible it's only going to work for him. I'd guess that if Phoebe did bind it, it would definitely be only for him but I'm not sure." She turned and was surprised by tears streaming down Phoebe's face.

"Phoebe?" Piper uttered in concern. "Honey, what is it?"

Phoebe reacted by hugging Paige tightly, "I'm so sorry."

Paige rubbed her sister's back and looked to Piper with confusion. "For what, sweetie?"

"I didn't know he would come back," Phoebe sniffled.

"None of us did," Piper agreed as she finally turned off the burner under the potion. "No one's upset with you for it."

"But you know…you both know…"

"That you want him back," Paige finished for her sister as she exchanged a glance with Piper. "Yeah, I don't think that was a secret from anyone but you and Cole."

"But I don't know how to do it," Phoebe whispered in a choked sob, "I don't know how to move forward. I don't know how to make it different this time." She pulled away and wiped her eyes, "I don't know if it's even possible for us to be together." She stared at the crystal wrapped in her fist, "Maybe I should just let him go on with his life. Maybe it'll be the only way to make sure we won't hurt each other, the only way we'll be happy."

"One step at a time, Pheebs," Piper suggested. "Let's worry about Zankou and the Avatars and save your love-life for another day, okay?"

Phoebe sniffled and hugged Paige again, "Thank you so much, Paige. I know how hard this was for you and --"

"I love you, Phoebe," Paige interrupted. "I just don't want to see you, any of us, hurt."

"I love you too, Paige," Phoebe whispered, "so much." She finally pulled back and tried to compose herself, "Is there…is there a specific spell to recite?"

"I didn't have time to read through it all," Paige apologized, "and I don't think I have time to go back."

"Maybe we should just leave it as a regular amulet," Piper suggested. "He'll be okay, Pheebs."

But Phoebe shook her head, "I'm not taking that chance." She took one of the small glass bowls Piper had emptied while making the potion and said, "I'll have to come up with something on my own and hope it works." She placed the crystal in the bowl and picked up one of Piper's knives. Just as she was about to cut herself, she requested of both sisters, "I don't want Cole to know about this."

"But, Phoebe --"

"I mean it," Phoebe interrupted. "If Cole knew I'd bound myself like this, he'd never wear the amulet. He'd disappear off the four corners of the earth before he'd risk anything happening to me, especially if he realizes he'd be targeted simply as a means to hurt or kill me."

"Nothing's going to happen to you," Paige argued.

"We thought the same thing about Prue," Phoebe quietly countered as she sliced her left wrist and allowed the blood to drip over the crystal. Staring into the bowl she chanted, "My Halliwell blood's bound to amulet and will protect thee, Cole. For thy good soul will remain safe from evil intent and kept whole."

"A bit old-fashioned," Paige mused, "but look…" The crystal glowed a pale pink and she murmured, "Guess it worked…"

Piper quickly opened the drawer with all the first aid equipment and readied a bandage for Phoebe's wrist. "Honey, I think that's enough." Phoebe winced when she began to clean the wound and she apologized, "I don't think it'll need stitches but I'll feel better when Leo heals it after he comes back from dropping off the boys at Magic School."

Phoebe shook her head and exhaled slowly, "Personal gain, I think."

"You did it for Cole," Paige argued. "Besides, we'll need you in top fighting form."

Phoebe wordlessly acquiesced to her sisters and lifted the cord from the side of the bowl. The dangling crystal had stopped glowing and she watched as blood dripped back into the bowl. Her body tingled slightly but she chalked it up to blood loss. "Would you mind rinsing it, Paige? I'm gonna check the Book again for anything on Zankou."

"You rang?" Zankou questioned when he suddenly appeared in the kitchen.

Both Phoebe and Piper instinctively took a step back from the demon standing opposite them.

"I believe you have some news of the future you wish to share," he said to Phoebe.

"My powers aren't what they once were," she advised him.

"I'll take that chance," another Zankou declared when he appeared behind Phoebe, grabbed her, and flamed out of the kitchen.

"Phoebe!" Paige shrieked.

"She'll be fine," Zankou assured her. "Perhaps she'll even have a new job lined up before evening's end," he cryptically remarked before fading away.

"He astral-projected," Paige realized.

"And he has Phoebe," Piper groaned.

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