I quickly made my excuses and left the Cullen's, they were understanding, Jasper wanted to come with me but I explained I just needed time to process things and promised I would speak to him later, I drove back home and parked the truck, suddenly the tears were falling and I couldn't stop, I heard the door open,
"oh Iz" Bella's voice, I looked at her and saw the sympathy in her eyes, she quickly got in the passenger side and reached over to hug me, I didn't resist and clung to her while crying my eyes out,
"I'm sorry" I whispered as I pulled away,
"Iz you don't have to apologise, you should have come to me, I would have gone with you" Bella said softly,
"I thought I could face him, I thought I was ready, but it only broke my heart more, he shouldn't have this hold on me, I should be stronger" I said upset at myself,
"Iz, you're the strongest person I know, we can't help our feelings, did you at least get the answers you wanted?" Bella asked, I nodded,
"well sort of, he said he wanted me to lead more of a human life and regretted that night because it made it harder" I explained,
"so he doesn't want to be with you?" Bella asked shocked, I shrugged,
"I'm not sure he said all that but then said he loved me still at the end, Bella what does that even mean?" I asked confused, Bella sighed,
"I'm not sure, I think he is fighting himself, I honestly have no doubt he loves you but I think in his head he felt leaving was safer for you, at least that's how Edward explained it, he said Emmett's thoughts are all over like he can't figure them out himself" Bella explained, I nodded slowly,
"well at least we still have that in common, but how am I ever meant to trust him? Even as friends?" I asked, Bella sighed,
"I'm not sure Iz, that's something only you can figure out" Bella said sadly, I nodded,
"how about I treat you to breakfast?" Bella asked, I smiled and nodded, I pulled myself together and drove us over to the diner.
I pushed my breakfast round the plate, my hunger suddenly disappeared,
"I hate this" Bella said suddenly, I looked up confused,
"I thought you loved the food here?" I asked, Bella shook her head,
"no I do, I meant you, like this, you're the strong one in us and now you look…" Bella said before trailing off, I set the fork down,
"broken?" I supplied for her, Bella frowned,
"yes" Bella whispered, I sighed,
"Bella I've been broken for a long time, I just haven't the energy to cover it up today" I admitted, Bella looked at me with the one expression I hated; pity.
"don't look at me like that" I whispered, glancing down at my lap,
"do you love him?" Bella asked, I looked up confused,
"Emmett" Bella asked, I thought for a second,
"Yes" I answered honestly,
"then isn't it worth fighting for?" Bella asked,
"is it worth the pain?" I asked looking straight at her,
"that something only you can answer" Bella answered, I pushed the food round the plate,
"I sometimes wish I never met him" I whispered, Bella frowned,
"but then you know after the accident? All I wanted was him" I said honestly,
"isn't that your answer then?" Bella asked, I thought for a second,
I sighed and pushed the food around the plate,
"so, is everything arranged for the wedding?" I said trying to change the subject altogether, Bella frowned a little before answering,
"Alice has everything sorted, I would have been happy just going to the court house with Edward" Bella said, I laughed,
"Like Alice would have ever let that happen" I said,
"I know but I just hate being the centre of attention, everyone in town is still taking bets on me being pregnant" Bella said frowning,
"if only they knew the truth" I laughed trying to lighten the mood,
"can I ask you a question?" Bella said timidly, I looked confused,
"go on then" I said staring at her intently,
"was it… that night with Emmett I mean… painful?" Bella asked a blush covering her cheeks, I smiled at her naivety,
"not anymore than it should of I expect, he was very gentle" I answered quietly,
"Emmett? Gentle?" Bella asked shocked, I laughed quietly,
"Bella, why do you want to know anyway?" I said, she blushed once again,
"I want a real honeymoon" Bella admitted,
"and I'm sure you will, Edward is just over protective and old fashioned that's all" I said,
"how about we do something crazy today?" I asked suddenly, Bella frowned,
"Iz you have already changed your full appearance what else is there to do?" Bella asked,
"cliff diving?" I asked, Bella frowned,
"oh yes because that worked out so well before didn't it?" Bella said sarcastically,
"oh well I'm more co-ordinated" I said smugly,
"Iz, your Leg still isn't healed" Bella said as she fished her phone from her coat that had just gone off, she laughed and turned the screen to me, Edwards name was at the top of the screen,
Don't even think about it, either of you.
"Damn always ruining my fun" I said laughing,
"maybe you should go to La Push though, see some different faces" Bella suggested, I thought about it before nodding,
"come on I'll drop you off and head over to Edward to show him I haven't decided to participate in extreme sports today" Bella said placing some money on the counter.
