A/N: You ever noticed that when you were a kid, the holidays took like, Forever, to come. And now that you're older, you turn around right as they bite you in the butt, like out of no where. But you still love'em? Such a strange beast. Anyway, the holidays are FINALLY over. Well, over for me at least. And, battling a nasty head cold, I give thee a chapter. I apologize it isn't much, but there's a doosy of a cliff in store for you. Hope everyone is having a safe and wonderful new year. Happy 2005!!!


Chapter Four: Home Again, Home Again


Rodney had flown the Puddle Jumper a handful of times, more or less under the pressure of time and circumstance, this time, was no different. Yet, also this time, as his hands stayed glued to the controls, mind trying to concentrate on flying the Jumper smoothly through the Gate's Event Horizon and not killing them all, that it was much easier. His thoughts were much more focused then he remembered them being, the ship handled easier then it ever had. And John at that moment had been quiet for the several minutes it took to fly across the jungle, dial the Gate and get back to the city. McKay wondered then if he was possibly trying to cook up some sort of plan.

Commander Dran, keeping as close to Rodney as he could without seeming at all eager, sat next to him in the passenger seat, Teyla, Ford and Dran's two men sat in the back of the ship. It was Dran who first spoke up as Atlantis's Gate room finally came within view in a matter of seconds, since then, the Jumper was cast in a deathly silence.

"A most, impressive city you have here Dr. McKay."

That voice was starting to rub Rodney the wrong way to say the least. However, Dran remained ever calm, soothing and unnervingly majestic. The sooner they landed the Jumper and got everyone out, McKay could leave Herr Commander to Weir and get himself and Sheppard to the infirmary. Rodney found himself worrying about John then, mulling mathematically his chances of survival when he heard a most familiar voice, oddly thankful to hear it that moment.

"Hey, Colonel Clink made a comment, pay attention. And quit worrying about me, I'll be fine, you just concentrate on getting us un-arrested and better yet, unfused."

McKay cleared his throat, moving his hands over the console acting as if he hadn't the time to reply right away, being too busy piloting when really the autopilot was simply on. Thankfully, Dran didn't know that. "Why yes------Atlantis is the most technological advanced outpost known to man, a superior defense system, boasted only by our strategically located Stargate, or what you call, the Ring." He gave the Commander a small smirk, even if that whole, superior defense thing was a big old lie at that point. "We're pretty proud of it."

Dran nodded, staring out the Jumper's window as they rose upwards into the Jumper-bay, slipping neatly through a hole that opened up in the Gate room's ceiling. "As you should be….but you've yet to see my capital, Temmerist. Our shear population and industrial innovation are the greatest in all seven planets under A'vokien territory, in fact more likely greater then any civilization in the known universe. " He then chuckled thoughtfully, eyeing the physicist with that air of superiority that grated on more nerves then one. "Your, Atlantis-----would fit inside one of our city squares."

"How furtive of you to point that out Commander." McKay's smile sharpened something wicked, narrowing his eyes at the glary ones behind Dran's glasses. "Usually as a rule I find lesser, more compactable things prove their worth against superior, more cumbersome things, don't you?" He returned Dran's thoughtful laugh, though McKay's sounded far more forced. "You know, the bigger they are the harder they fall, comes to mind."

His smile faded as Dran cocked a brow, not even flinching as the Jumper suddenly made contact with the floor of the bay with a dull clank. Through McKay's eyes, John noted the Commander's reflexes were like a block of wood; solid, unwavering, and worst of all, so simplistic that one was often surprised he made them at all. But perhaps that was the catch, Sheppard thought to himself. Like any man, woman, or alien alike, everyone had a braking point; every piece of wood could be burned. John simply had to find Dran's and exploit it. But that in itself was a task and he had enough things to worry about.

The Commander then replied simply, coolly yet with the hint of deeper meaning that Sheppard at the moment, couldn't place and passed it off as a result from Rodney's offhanded insult. "Motivating words to live by, Doctor. I'll have to remember that saying."

Teyla had been listening very carefully to the conversation between McKay and Dran, She didn't trust this A'vok Commander, a culture she herself had never heard of, nor did she understand why he had to come with them to the city. She was though, relieved to be heading back considering the Major's condition. Teyla turned her attention to where John's body was laid out in the very back of the Jumper. She unbuckled herself and glared to the solider keeping an ever watchful eye on her.

"I am going to check on his condition, if that is alright." Though her tone had no sense of asking to it what so ever, the Athosian waited long enough for the man to give her a hesitant nod. She walked carefully over to Sheppard, kneeling down along side his body and placing a hand on his paled cheek. He was so cold, flesh clammy and stiff. With a worried sigh she reached over and pulled the woolen blanket she had placed on him before they took off, up to his chin. Teyla was in a quiet awe at how peaceful his face looked, no trace of suffering. That much to her was a relief, but it wasn't enough to ease her mind.

Ford glanced over to Dran's second solider, sitting next to him. The guy had to be the same age as him at least. "So; what kind of gun is that?" Aiden spoke up. The solider turned to him and Ford nodded towards the strange rifle he was holding, the lad's clutch on it tightened.

"Wouldn't you like to know." He replied suspiciously.

"Actually, yeah I would." Ford gave him a playful smile, showing he was only curious. He pulled the shoulder strap off his arm and held up his own gun. "Trade ya."

The solider studied the Lieutenant for a moment, his gaze moving from him to the gun then back to him several times over before he pressed a small green button on the side of the alien gun. There was a short series of bleeps before a three inch panel slid open on the rifle's handle. A thick glass cylinder filled with blue swirling energy slid out from the opening with a small whoosh. This he pocketed and promptly handed it over to Ford, each gun crossing the isle to the opposite man.

The A'vok watched Aiden carefully as the Lieutenant looked the rifle over, gauging the weight which was far lighter then anything they carried, cast from a cool dark metal with no visible bolts in which to hold it together. Ford felt around the handle and to his great surprise, found that there wasn't a trigger, instead, along the hand-grip there were several horizontal channels embossed in, fitting neatly with each one of his fingers.

As Aiden wrapped his hand firmly around the gun's grip, he could feel a smooth plate under each fingertip. The guns must have had some sort of print recognition, or, touch sensory that made them fire.

"That." The soldier chimed in, sounding most impressed with himself. "Is an Atomic Unit Gun, or Auggy as we like to call it. Fires a three point energy pulse that expands on impact to a five to six points in diameter. Fifty AU's a second, able to penetrate a metal wall ten points thick." He mused, gauging Ford's reaction, which was at first hinted to a slight shock, but the Lieutenant remained adamant and coy, no sense in stroking the enemy's ego. "Kills instantly." The A'vok added smugly.

Ford nodded to himself, humming. Figuring the A'vok must have meant Inches when he used the word Points. Still, something to watch out for. "Mmmm, not bad." His attention then went to his, personal weapon of choice that was currently laid on the soldier's lap. The A'vok picked it up, grimacing at the weight no doubt, but giving the rifle the careful eye none the less as Ford commented. "That's a FN P90 Submachine gun, shoots 10mm metal projectiles we like to call bullets at about around two hundred rounds per minute, fifty rounds per clip. One bullet on it's own can penetrate a person from several yards away." Aiden returned the smirk, as the solider looked up to him. Ford found the next bit too hard to resist. "It causes internal bleeding. So----death is real slow, and very, very painful."

The A'vok's smile faded as he handed the gun back to Ford. "Impressive." He said blandly, trying to hide the obvious fact that he'd had not only been bested, but beaten as well.

Ford shrugged, replying in a mocked consideration. "Thanks." Score one for the home team….


Dr. Elizabeth Weir had spent most of that last hour and a half pacing inside the control room, watching the empty Stargate continue to remain empty to her worry. The renewed scheduling time, according to Ford's request from Sheppard had come and gone with no contact from the planet. A very bad sign.

She was relieved then to find moments later, after she had made about her thirty-seventh pass over the same spot on the floor, there came an incoming wormhole, followed by McKay's IDC. The entire gate room crew watched as the Jumper made a wobbly entrance through the event horizon leading the doctor to believe her team wasn't in complementary shape. Weir's fears were deepened when, as she made her way to the Jumper bay, medical assistance was being, more or less shouted for, over the intercom. She briskly jogged the rest of the way, as the ship finally touched down on the bay's metallic floor with a dull thud, door sliding open to reveal a very weary looking Teyla supporting one half of John's body on her shoulders Ford following her out carrying the other.

Weir's face fell, her skin clammed up when she saw the condition the Major was in, though he was moved too briefly for her to see if he was shot or wounded in any way. Before she knew it, Rodney was stepping out of the Jumper and right behind him, three complete strangers.

"Rodney, you want to tell me just what happened to you." Elizabeth asked apprehensively as she was approached by the physicist, the three foreign men, keeping close behind him, as she noticed now two were burnishing guns. "And who's this?"

McKay raised a finger about to explain when Weir motioned behind them all, towards John's body as it was carefully resting upon a gurney that had just arrived. "And what happened to Major Sheppard?" Rodney had expected that, but perhaps not so soon.

"Major, Sheppard…" McKay heard Dran mutter beside him, casting a clandestine glance to Weir. Rodney let out a sigh, figuring the jig was up and the Commander now knew better. Of course not to Elizabeth's fault, she did unintentionally blow his cover as leader. "Well we did have the upper hand." McKay heard John mutter. Which reminded him then that they all needed to get to the infirmary, not only Sheppard's body, but his mind as well.

McKay cleared his throat, trying to sound as cheerful as he could. "Well you see ah, Elizabeth, a funny thing happened on the way back to the Jumper."

"Really." Weir said unequivocally, eyeing Commander Dran as he eyed her equally back, standing a few inches above her.

"Ah…" He flinched, stepping aside, holding his hand out towards the A'vok. "Dr. Weir this is Commander Dran, leader of the A'vokien taskforce and as it would seem----we're currently, more technically. Under his arrest."

Her eyes widened as Elizabeth's mouth clenched in and around itself.

"Sorry." Rodney blurted, the word dying under his breath even before it came out, as he fidgeted. "A misunderstanding best compared to the size of China."

Weir, clamed immensely, tucking her shock away upon seeing the Commander's reaction to it all. Matching his subdued nature in realizing this was quite possibly a hostile situation. She figured then that this must, have been Sheppard's idea. "I see." She replied lightly, looking up to Dran. "Commander, would you care to, step into my office were we can discuss these matters."

"It would be an honor, Dr. Weir." Dran replied quaintly, closing his dark eyes behind the gleam of his glasses, which flashed as he bowed shortly. Weir had to admit then, at least the man had some class. Not rash and blunt as say, Koyla. But a threat was a threat, and this situation needed to be handled with kid-gloves.

"I'm sure we can come to some sort of agreement after I hear what mypeople have allegedly done." Elizabeth continued, noticing that Teyla had now walked up to them, looking to interrupt.

"If I may, Dr. Weir." The Athosian spoke up. "I should like to speak on behalf of our team as to the events that took place on, Commander Dran's planet." Teyla was far from letting their treatment go, and whether in private or in conference, Weir would hear about it. Besides, Sheppard would have wanted someone in there, who knew their side of the story. Who knew what Dran might try to twist in there, paint on them to make it look like they had done something wrong when in fact, they were more then innocent.

"That will be fine Teyla, if that's alright with you, Commander." Elizabeth nodded, not at all looking forward to the conversation.

"Most….acceptable." Dran smiled coldly, refusing to acknowledge that Teyla was even there.

McKay watched the interplay of looks from one person to another and remembered he had better and more important things to do. See to himself that is, and Sheppard, of course. "Well, I'm sure you'll have a nice powwow without me we're----" Rodney stuttered, giving himself a mental slap in the face. "I'm going to head to the infirmary, see if ah, John's alright."

"Smooth McKay, real smooth."

With that Rodney spun around on his heals and made apassive yet hasty getaway before Weir could stop him, glad to be leaving Commander Stalin in the hands of a professional.


"So you're sayin' that John's some how, ended up in your body?" Carson Beckett asked again as he shined his pen light into McKay's eyes, making the physicist flinch for a moment. "Via an alien machine."

"Not my body." Rodney winced as the light passed back and forth, Carson watch the reaction up close as he held an iron grip on McKay's chin. He managed to pull away as Beckett clicked the light off, looking satisfied. "Somehow his mind has been transfused into mine, I can hear him like he's talking right next to me, but no body else can."

"Cause he's in your head." Beckett continued, picking up a clip board and eyeing McKay thoughtfully.

"You don't believe me do you? How many times in how many ways to do want me to clarify it?!" He snapped. "I found the thing, he touched the thing, now he's in here not out there where he belongs-----now we're both screwed!." Rodney sighed, lowering his head and adding softly, apologetically. "Reason aside, I don't believe me either."

"Who the hell would? This is like, straight out of the Twilight Zone."

"Well." Carsonscribbled a few things down before he took a seat on the cot sitting parallel to the one Rodney was slumping on, while Sheppard's body was lying comfortably a few beds down, hooked up to all sorts of monitoring equipment. "I'm not surprised to hear it, knowin' what kind of trouble we're liable to see all the way out here….but, it's a wee bit hard to swallow, even for you."

McKay looked up, catching Beckett in the most sincere look he could muster. "Listen, all I know is, one minute Sheppard's with us, the next, he's laid out and I'm hearing voices. Now either I'm going schizo or that device on that planet did something to us."

"Just, calm yourself. No sense gettin' all worked up. Now, we've stabilized him best we could for now, but I'm goin' to need your help to figure this all out." Carson stood up hugging the clipboard to his chest with one arm, while placing a hand on Rodney's forehead with another.

McKay rolled his eyes. "I told you I feel fine, just, a little tired."

"And knowin' you, you sayin' that makes me think otherwise." Beckett removed his hand and turned to the medical tray lined with the tools of his trade. He picked up a small handheld thermometer, pushing a few buttons, resetting it while slipping a sterile cover onto the long sensor. Stretching the spiral cord that ran between the two Carson nodded for McKay to open his mouth.

Rodney, protested. "I said I'm fine Carson."

Beckett gave him a careful glare. "Either you open up or we do this the hard way. There's more then one way to take a man's temperature, I remind you."

"I think he means business there Skip." John mused, echoing in McKay's head as the physicist reluctantly opened his mouth. "You don't get a say in this, just be thankful you're comatose."

Carson gave him an odd look as he slipped the sensor under Rodney's tongue. McKay batted the doctor's hand away and held the thermometer himself, sighing through his nose.

"Don't bite it."

"I'wm nowt bwitting ait!" McKay retorted, looking to the side as if talking to the Major's body many beds behind him.

"No talking." Beckett scolded watching the digital numbers click up. Rodney was about to say something else before he stopped himself, finding it a waste of energy. No good would come from him driving himself any further over the edge.

"Good physicist." McKay could practically hear the smile in John's voice.

Before long, there was a series of beeps and thankfully Carson pulled the thermometer from McKay's mouth and popped the sterile sheath into the garbage. "Well you've got a bit of a temperature….99.3"

"That's not that bad. Right?" Asked McKay hesitantly. He'd had fevers before, real bad ones even when he was a kid, he was one for chronic bronchitis with his asthma and all, the air in the middle and high schools wasn't always that great and Winter was murder once the heaters were turned on.

Carson put the thermometer down, jotting the reading on his clipboard before looking back down at him. "No, but, I'd like to run a few test on you, CAT scan, EKG, the usual cocktail. Just to make sure everythin' is alright."

"But it's not alright, We're not alright as long as he's up in there." McKay emphasized feeling overly that the doctor just wasn't getting it.

Beckett chimed in quickly, trying to comfort the man. "I'm sure he is Rodney, but that doesn't mean I can just ignore your physical state, especially if I have to worry about two of you in there, alright?"

"Can't he just give you a shot in the ass and lollypop so we can get back to work?" Carson watched McKay carefully, he seemed to be concentrating on something, listening in. After a moment, Rodney frowned, glancing back up the doctor. "John wants you to give me a shot in the ass so we can go."

Beckett laughed. "Now that, sound's like Sheppard. Maybe he is up in your noggin after all."

"You think I'd make something like this up?"

"Well you did forget the lollypop, which I might add, was mildly funny. So now neither of us get candy, thank you very much Rainer of Parades." John rambled on, as Rodney desperately tried to ignore him so he could pay attention to Beckett. John had turned into that little, nagging voice in one's head, except, this one wouldn't shut up a will and had a personality to boot.

Carson continued trying to make sense out of a situation that was just sprung upon him, and; McKay had to admit, a rather incredible one at that. "No, but I don't know what sort of residual effects this alien device has had on the both of you. For all I know, he could really be in there, and for all I know----" Carson sighed slipping his pen in his pocket. "He might not."

"Carson, I'm not nuts." McKay exclaimed. "This is riducul---" He stopped then, glancing off to the side.
"One nut short of a Planters can."

"Oh shut up!" Rodney snarled, catching himself and inhaling deeply. He had to calm down, people in the room were staring at him, and he couldn't exactly ignore why.

Beckett eyed him. "Excuse me?" It was one thing that McKay was claiming to have John camped out in his mind, but mood swings were quite another. Perhaps he was worse off then he looked.

"Not you, him." Rodney raised a dismissive hand, placing the other to his temple, rubbing it tenderly. He was getting a headache that was for sure. He spoke then clearly, aiming it at what it seemed, no on in particular. "And just remember Major, this is primarily your fault we're in this mess, or more or less I'm in this mess." Carson realized then that McKay must have been actually having an argument with John. And what a strange site that was in itself.

John growled deep within the confines of McKay's brain, sounding less then pleasant. "Ah, who's in a coma? Last time I check, not you alright buddy-boy. So quit the bleeding heart crap so we can end this little escapade. Don't get me wrong, it's been a REAL treat." Which was pure bunk on the physicist's part. Sheppard couldn't believe that even with his own life on the line, McKay would focus only on himself. The Major was about to say something more when suddenly he caught onto a feeling that was becoming relatively commonplace to him for the pass hour or so. Fear. Rodney was brewing with it, so much so that John felt slightly smothered by it. It made him angry, which is why he guessed then Rodney was so angry. He had to keep in mind, this must have been a defensive maneuver for the man. McKay was shivering softly, Sheppard could feel that much, and it felt awful. How often did Rodney feel like this?

"You alright?" Carson asked slowly, wondering what was going on up there since McKay had become suddenly quiet, worrying the doctor.

"Yeah."John replied to no one.

"No." McKay quickly corrected him, looking up to Beckett with a weary gaze. This, was exhausting. "I'm just tired."

Beckett sighed, nodding. Better to get everything done now so he could let the man rest, he looked like he certainly needed it. "I'm goin' to go and get everythin' prepped for you." He paused mid-sentence correcting himself with a smile." You both that is---just----sit tight."

"Not like I have much choice."

Rodney shut his eyes as Beckett stalked off, rubbing his temple once more, the pain pulsing dully just underneath his skull. "Eh I wouldn't talk, you're just lucky you didn't get spit out into the cosmos with the rest of the antimatter."

"Yeah well, I probably would have been better off!" Forget formalities, now McKay was just being a dick. Rodney squeezed his eyes shut, he forced a laugh shaking his head. Great, now the pounding in his head was ringing in his ears. It took a few moments before he realized that, the sound wasn't just inside him, but all around him.

"What the hell is that sound?" Sheppard echoed the question Rodney was unsure to ask.

Opening his eyes, Rodney looked up, focusing his ears on where the loud wail of alarm was coming from. It wasn't an incoming wormhole, or the security alarms. He turned then, eyes bouncing from one bed on to the other, until his sites fell on John's body. "It's you." Rodney muttered suddenly, growing pale as medical staff, including Beckett swarmed around Sheppard's bed. "You're dying."


TBC!!!!