The Journal of Racetrack Higgins – Ch 22 – The Roommate
Disclaimer: SLASH. Don't like it? Don't read it. And I don't own the Newsies.
A/N: I'M ACTUALLY UPDATING THIS! woo! lol. Enjoy:)
7/15/04
So I just got off the phone with my roommate for college. I got the packet a few days ago, but never got around to calling him. But he called me this afternoon.
His name's David Jacobs. He lives in Long Island, and has an older sister, Sarah, and a younger brother, Les. He's also extremely smart… I'm talking like number-one-in-his-class smart.
He seemed pretty nice on the phone. It's amazing how quickly two people can just click. We talked for a long time, at least an hour and a half. We told each other the basics… our likes, dislikes, personality, favorite movie, color, etc. And we exchanged AIM screen-names, so we can talk online too.
And I told his everything. Well, except one teeny-tiny detail.
Ok, scratch that 'teeny-tiny' part.
Yeah. I didn't tell him I was gay.
I don't know why, I just didn't. It's just, this one little part of me still wants to hide it from people I don't really know, simply because of the fact I don't know how he would react. Like, what if I told him, and he turned out to be a Brady-clone?
…Oh, god. I don't even wanna think about the possibility of that. I mean, I have to live with him for the next year!
Anyway, I'd rather tell him in person, after I've actually met the guy. Plus, I didn't want to get into the topic of my mother ranting, because I know I would scare him by how pissed off I am at her.
There. I justified my reason. Just so you know.
Oh, on the whole mother-issue. My house sold. I saw the sign this morning. It's really happening – my house is being sold. Someone will be living and sleeping in my room. It's just… I don't know. I hate the thought of that.
…I really don't want to ramble on and on about how much I hate my mother, so I'm gonna stop while I'm ahead.
On a happier note, summer's been pretty good. Shitty weather though… I fuckin' hate the damn Jersey humidity. You go outside for two seconds, and already are covered it sweat. Oh well… that's what we get for living here. Freezing cold winters, and hot, humid summers. Figures.
Spot and I go to the Seaside or Point Pleasant boardwalks at least three times a week, seeing as that basically is the only thing to do during the summer in this stupid town. I still can't believe MTV actually did their summer shows from Seaside… Twice! Seaside is such a shitty boardwalk. But hey, it's a hang out, so we go.
Sometimes Blink or Jack has a party, which is always fun. And of course, volleyball on the beach, basically everyday. I seriously am black from being so tan. It's the Italian in me, I swear.
Well, I gotta go. Mrs. Conlon's calling me for dinner.
Later.
-Racetrack
7/18/04
I've been talking on AIM almost every day with Davey. I love his screen-name – WalkingMouth12. He said it's an inside joke between him and his friends. But it's such a funny name!
I've learned so much about him… About his friends, his life, his hobbies. He's lived his whole like in Long Island, and works in the city during the summer. Oh and get this… He loves poker! We are so gonna get along great. But he betta be prepared to lose a LOT of cash… I've also told him many things as well.
…And yet I still haven't told him. Shut up, I know.
Oh – and we exchanged pictures with each other. He's pretty cute. He has this unruly curly brown hair, which he called his 'Jew-fro' and these gorgeous blue eyes. I swear, they are such a clear blue, I could look at them for hours…
… Oh shit. –slaps self- You have a boyfriend you have a boyfriend you have a boyfriend you have a boyfriend…
Speaking of that… Spot's been acting weird these past few days. Kinda sulky-ish and not talkative. Especially when I bring up the subject of Davey.
-shrugs- I don't know why. Maybe he's getting sick or something.
Oh well. That's about it for now.
-Racetrack
7/22/04
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. And did I mention shit?
What the fuck just happened? Why did he say those things? And WHY did I say those things?
Ya know how I said Spot was acting weird? Well now I know why… He just blew up.
I had just finished an AIM conversation with Davey, in which he sent me another picture of him, when Spot came into my room. Dave had just told me he had bought this cool futon thing for our dorm room, and I wanted to tell Spot.
"Hey Spot, guess what? I was just talking to-"
He cut me off. "Lemme guess… Davey."
His harsh tone made me look up at him, but his face was unreadable. I simply answered, "Yeah…"
Spot groaned. "All you ever do anymore is talk to him or about him to me. I'm getting fuckin' sick and tired."
"Yeah, but can you blame me? He IS gonna be my roommate next year."
Spot rolled his eyes, and looked past me to the computer screen, where Dave's new picture was still open. "Another picture. Great. Just great. Now tell me, just how many times have you jerked off looking at that?"
I blinked at him, not knowing why he was being so harsh. "Are you serious?"
Spot glared at me, his eyes boring holes into my skin. "Extremely."
I knew then he WAS being serious, and not just joking, and became furious at the thought that he suspected I actually would do that.
"Jealous, much?"
His eyes narrowed. "Don't you ever call me jealous. I was just stating what is obviously going on. I do have eyes and ears."
I stared at him, incredulously. How could he honestly think that? My anger got the best of me. "Just because I'm going to college and gonna have a new roommate next year, and mind you, you aren't, doesn't mean that I would even think of cheating."
I still don't know why I said that, as I know the college-issue was a touchy subject with Spot. I just couldn't help it from coming out of my mouth.
Spot's hard glared flickered for an instant, but immediately became even more intense. "Don't go there. Don't you dare bring up that."
"Oh, I just did bring it up. And for your information, Dave doesn't even know I'm gay yet; so don't jump to conclusions before you know the facts. I haven't told him yet."
"Ok, I get it now. He doesn't know your jerking off to his picture. And another thing… Are you ashamed of me?"
"What? Ashamed? Why would I be ashamed?" I didn't get why he suddenly switched topics like that.
"You haven't told him about you and me yet. Therefore, you're ashamed of me. You want to hide our relationship from him."
"That's not true!" I said, defensively. "I'm not ashamed. It's just…"
"Just what?" He answered back, challenging.
"I just wanna wait till I meet him in person."
"You mean once I'm not there. Once I'm out of the picture. Because just like you oh-so-nicely stated before, I'm NOT going away. So you don't have to worry about parading me around to everyone. I see how it is."
I couldn't believe what he was saying. I lost it. "Ya know what, Spot? Fuck off. You don't know what you are talking about. So just leave me the fuck alone."
"So you can fantasize about Davey? Fine. Go do that. See what I care. And have a nice life." He stalked out of the room, and slammed the door.
That was last night. We haven't spoken since. Breakfast this morning was complete hell.
I don't know what to do. I'm not apologizing, because he made one hell of an accusation. And it ain't true!
…Well, mostly not true.
…
…Ok, I admit it. I like Dave. I've never even met the guy, but already I'm getting those 'crush' feelings in the pit of my stomach whenever we talk, either on AIM or the phone. And not to mention, he ain't all that bad looking.
Oh shit. After writing that on paper, I realize just how much I've talked about Dave and college and all that stuff to Spot in the past week.
And I can just imagine the thoughts running through Spot's mind. He probably just got fed up with me and exploded.
…Why am I not apologizing again? I blew up on him too. I brought up the college thing. This has really made me think.
I really should go and try to talk to him. If he even would let me.
And I just wonder… If something like this basically breaks us up, and the fact that I am living with Dave in a little less than a month, how da hell are Spot and I gonna last?
-Racetrack
A/N: Ok, don't kill me. For two reasons… one, for the lack of updates on this fic, and for what I just happened and that cliffhanger. I know, I'm evil like that.
Wow. I haven't updated this since September. And it's February. I'm SO bad. lol. Stupid writer's block.
and my stupid ffn profile won't let me update it. Says that my penname is already taken. Yeah.. by ME! lol.
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