I stood on the roof leaning my weight on a gargoyle.

This was where Christine and Raoul had kissed for the first time. I remembered holding the flower she had tossed to the ground. The flower represented how she merely tossed my love aside to seek another's. That lost feeling has returned to me. All my sorrowful memories came rushing back. Had I pushed another woman away?

I could no longer hold the tears that now streamed down my face. My mask captured the tears at the bottom but I didn't even bother to release a space for the tears to escape. Perhaps I would drown in my own sorrow.

I couldn't believe I had allowed a woman to hold power over my heart again. If this wasn't goodbye it would lead to goodbye. She couldn't love a monster like me.

What had I done to make her draw back? Had I handled her too firmly? Had I let my hands wonder too far? Had I taken advantage of her body? I should have respected her more. She probably felt violated. I shook my head with disgust of my own lust. To have her mistrust me was something I feared the most. I didn't want to push her away like I did Christine. She had been so frightened after I hanged that man. Raoul had comforted her.

I began hiccupping. My nose was running and tears blurred my vision but I didn't care.

I had first believed Addie was afraid of me, but that woman never fails to always confuse me. She had seemed so frightened at first when I had stood up, but I was too blinded by my own fury to care. What she had done next left me so confused. She had just stared at my angry face and smiled then she had kissed me. Afterwards she had pulled away. What had I done wrong? Women are, and always will be a mystery to me. I have no idea what to expect next.

Everyone was running around stage madly trying to prepare for the performance tonight. Tonight la nuit entière was to make its way on the stage for the first time. Seats were sold out and peoplewere begging to stand up to watch opening night. Mason was banging his baton violently upon his stand trying to make order of the mess of people.

"Positions everyone," he shouted. "Addie in the orchestra pit now!" He nearly screamed.

Christine just smiled at me. She was in the center of the stage wearing her costume. She looked simply angelic with her Indian costume. She wore no shoes but toe rings. She wore a shawl that was tied around one shoulder. It was pink with flowers patterns on it. Her curly hair flung loose and a matching pink veil was behind her head. She was to have this veil cover her face during the play but decided to let herself breathe during the dress rehearsal. Christine was to play the leading female role of the princess who fell in love despite her culture's rules. In India the Sultan's daughters marrying is strictly taboo witch makes the story seems even more dramatic.

With a wave of Mason's baton the orchestra began to unwind the mood and feeling within the piece. Christine's voice soon joined our bows. Her voice was so angelic you'd believe you had died and gone to heaven.

My hands were soaring. Of course I hit some wrong notes but no one seemed to notice. I was so excited about opening night. My first opera! I hoped that Erik would be listening somewhere for me tonight. I owed him so much. If it weren't for his lessons I wouldn't be sitting here.

There was only one piece I was worried about. The last piece had so many third position notes that were often out of tune. I bit my lip. If I mess up tonight What if the audience hears me? Everyone is depending on me to fail. Every time they hear a wrong note they'll blame it on the woman no doubt. I needed to practice like crazy before the performance.

After the dress rehearsal I walked back To Erik's layer. This time I would control myself. I don't have time for passion it's time to practice.

I stopped a few feet from him were he sat. He was wearing a white button up shirt and black pants with boots. He wasn't wearing all the layers he normally wore. Oh mercy in heaven. The first few buttons were opened revealing the top of his chest. This must be the most of his skin I had ever seen. He wasn't wearing gloves either, and he wore his usual white mask. I nearly dropped my cello. I tried to fix my eyes upon something other then that chest. A few black hairs glistened in the candlelight. I almost swooned.

He was drawling something. I tried to take a closer look but he turned it on the other side so fast I felt the wind from the movement of the paper. A few papers even fluttered off the table.

He stared at me a bit confused. After a few moments he began to once again hide his emotions. That was something Erik was very talented in.

"Couldn't you knock first?" he asked sarcastically, repeating something I had said to him days before.

I tried to suck in my lips and not laugh.

"Tonight's opening night," I said raising my cello. I hoped I wouldn't have to go through the trouble of asking him and he'd take my hint.

"So basically you need me?" He said an evil grin forming on his face.

I have become too familiar with his little games. He liked to play with my emotions while hiding his own. I just frowned at him in disappointment and put the hand that was not grasping the neck of my cello and set it on my hip.

"Well will you help me?" I asked while setting my cello on its side and crossing my arms.

He stood up and turned a chair around so it was facing me. He grabbed my shoulders and forced me to sit down. While he was turning around to pick up my cello I reached for his neck motioning a strangling emotion. When he turned around I quickly placed my hands at my side and just looked around the room innocently while whistling. He handed me my cello and stood as I tuned the strings. I tried not to laugh knowing he hadn't seen my playful strangling motion.

He set up a stand and I placed the piece that had left me so confused upon the stand.

I pointed my finger on tiny notes that took up barely any space in the measure.

"What are those?" I asked.

"You play those as well," he said placing a hand over his forehead and shaking his head.

"Do you know anything?" He spat

"No it's your Job to teach me!" I yelled.

He shot an angry glance at me that sent chills down my spine.

He looked away and took in a large breathe trying to regain his patience. After a few moments he looked back to me when he was calm enough and told me to play with the notes.

I began playing at tempo and missed almost all the notes.

"Stop," he ordered softly, "This time slower."

He made me go slowly and build up the tempo each time until I got it right.

After we were done and I had packet up my cello I looked at him.

"Will you listen to me tonight?"

He stared at the ground.

I put a hand over my mouth realizing what I had just asked him to do. Christine was starring the lead role tonight. He wouldn't be listening to me without listening to her.

"Oh Erik.. I" I began saying.

"Just go," he said pointing to the exit. His voice cracked when he had said it. He slumped in the chair I had sat in and I began hearing his breathing become harsher and watched as his body started to shake. He was crying.

"I'm so sorry," I mumbled now crying myself. Did he still care for her?

"Please don't cry Erik." I kneeled on my knees by him and cupped a hand underneath his chin then bringing his chin up, forcing him to stare at me. Fat tears were rolling down his face. There were tear stains on his shirt.

"Just go," he whispered freeing from my grip.

I walked off gazing at him before disappearing behind the wall that concealed the stairway. He was once again focused on the ground.

I cursed underneath my breath regretting what I had said.