Authors note: Thank you all so much for posting your reviews! Please continue to post. I get nervous when no one posts because it makes me worry that people stopped reading and lost interest. I've been writing up storms this weekend because I have so much free time. Sorry it took me a while. Lady-outcast your doll offer is so very tempting.
I sat behind my cello. My nerves had decided to kick in now? I am doomed and I know it.
The opera was to begin at any moment and the entire orchestra was gazing at Mason waiting for his baton to rise. I had to force myself to focus and not think about what had happened with me and Erik. Then I remembered the audition I had and how I had made the first chair. I had thought of Erik despite my fear for him. I thought of the beautiful music he had made for me. I could let him be my inspiration. Every emotion the human heart has I must have already felt for this man.
I gazed at Mason waiting for his signal. I placed my bow on the string. He caught the attention of all whose eyes were wondering by lightly tapping his baton on the stand then he started counting aloud so we could get the beat in our head. At the count of four his baton raised and music filled the air. I heard the sound of dragging fabric behind me. The curtain was opening.
I was overcome with the unity of all the instruments. My heart raced as we all became one. I began to depart from the world of reality and was entering the world of music. All I could see was the paper in front of me and the conductor. I imagined Erik beside me holding my shoulders again. The way he had run his hands down to my elbows made me want to play even louder. When we reached the mezzo piano and the orchestra got quiet barely making a sound I thought of the tenderness of Erik's soft lips upon mine. I wished he was listening to me right now. He would have been proud.
After a few pieces Christine sang again. This time she was singing of regret. I felt the passion that was unwinding within the music. I tried so hard not to cry when she sang of how much she wanted to be with her lover right now. I needed Erik desperately right now. I realized I now loved him as much as my father loved my mother. The entire concept frightened me. If Erik shattered my heart I wouldn't be able to live. If he died… I tried not to think about that.
I closed my eyes to hide the tears that formed. I no longer needed to look at the music it was inside me. I dug my bow into the strings releasing my soul.
My eyes burst open I let the tears fall down my face and my mouth opened in shock. I loved him! What I felt wasn't lust I loved him! As soon as the last song ended I ran back to my room knocking into people on the way. I wasn't going to wait till it was too late to tell him. If he didn't love me I was willing to grovel at his feet and beg him. I was so desperate for him right now. I needed him so badly. I pictured him standing in front of me. I pictured the lines of his muscles appearing through his shirt. I smiled as I ran picturing his big green eyes and huge lips.
If he still felt for Christine I needed to know.
