THE JOURNAL OF RACETRACK HIGGINS CH 24 – Surprises, Surprises
Disclaimer: Slash. Don't like it? Don't read it! And I do not own Newsies. Disney does.
A/N: I AM updating this fic! YAY! Hehe… more from me afterwards… Enjoy :)
8/5/04
Just under three weeks left. I can't believe the time is flying by so fast.
Spot and I have completely made up. Everything is fine between us. Well, basically fine… After today's incident…
Oh yeah, and I told Davey.
We were talking online today (for the first time since the argument between Spot and I) and I finally got the courage to actually confess. I'll post the convo here:
RaceToTheTrack: Hey Dave, I need to tell ya something important
WalkingMouth12: Sure. Go ahead.
RaceToTheTrack: Ok, this is kinda hard to say… and I shoulda told ya thing from the beginning…
WalkingMouth12: Go on…
RaceToTheTrack: Uh… well… I'm gay.
WalkingMouth12: Is that all?
RaceToTheTrack: …what?
WalkingMouth12: Oh, sorry. I kinda guessed that already…. But I didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure.
RaceToTheTrack: …
RaceToTheTrack: how?
WalkingMouth12: Duh. I'm bi. My gaydar was going haywire.
My mouth literally dropped at that point. I mean, I may have had a tiny inkling that he might be gay or bi, but I really, never thought it would actually be true. The next thing that popped into my head was Spot. We had just fought over Dave and all that shit, and now, Dave is bi. Spot was gonna flip. He would never trust me living there. Hell, I wouldn't even trust myself.
At that point, I was so deep in thought that I forgot to IM Dave back. My cell vibrating in my pants jarred me back into reality. It was, of course, Dave.
"Hey. I felt I should call you, seeing as you never answered back."
"Oh yeah, sorry. Just got lost in thought I guess."
"Was it that much of a shock? I thought for sure you suspected me."
I laughed. "Actually, no. That was the other way around. You suspected me."
"I told you, I'm excellent at this sort of thing."
I smiled into the phone and relaxed in my desk chair. My eyes scanned the room, landing on a framed photo of Spot and I from graduation. I knew I needed to tell Dave. Now. "Uh, Dave? There's something else I want you to know about me."
"What, you're really a girl?"
"Ah ha. No. I just wanted you to know I had a boyfriend as well."
"Cool. As do I."
We talked for another half an hour or so, comparing boyfriends. I swear, we sounded like two thirteen-year-old girls gossiping at lunchtime. But I didn't care. I told him everything, for once being totally honest with him. I told him all about Spot, the infamous New Year's incident, our first 'real' kiss in the snow, even everything about being kicked out of my house and living with Spot.
In return, he told me all about his boyfriend, Swifty. He's a star track runner, and will be going to Gettysburg College (1), about an hour or so away from Muhlenberg. That means he will be visiting a lot. Not that I would mind though, as Spot is gonna visit as much as possible… Anyway, we got off the phone because he had to go to a party with his friends.
After that conversation, most of the worries about trusting myself around Dave had vanished. Now I needed to talk to Spot to make the rest disappear.
I found Spot downstairs on the couch, watching TV. He didn't see me come in, so when I sat down next to him, he was startled.
"Oh hey. What's up Race?"
"I, uh… I talked to Dave."
"And?"
"I told him. Everything."
Spot actually smiled. "Thank you. How'd he take the news?"
"He wasn't surprised…" I nervously went on. "Because, uh, because he's bi."
His eyes dropped. "…Oh…"
God dammit. I hated seeing him like this. "Spot… trust me. Nothing will happen. He has a boyfriend. Please, don't do this."
"Race, how did you think I would act? We just had a fight over the fact that you liked this guy and now… I'm just supposed to smile and be okay with this?"
"It's not like it's my fault!"
And we were back to fighting. I hated it. I hated fighting with Spot.
We hadn't been shouting at each other long (basically a minute or so) when Mrs. Conlon interrupted us. She peaked her head into the room. "Boys, please. I have a headache. No shouting matches." And the she left.
After that, we kinda just stood there, staring at each other, not knowing what to say. Spot broke the awkwardness after what seemed like an eternity (although in reality it was only about a minute.)
"Race, I'm… I'm sorry."
I shook my head. "I should be the one saying sorry."
"No, like you said, it's not you're fault. You couldn't help any of these things from happening."
"Well, most of them." I smiled. "Can we just, like, stop fighting all the time though?"
"I want to. I really, really want to. I'm sorry. I overreacted. It's just… Race, I don't wanna lose you. And now, knowing that Dave is bi…" He trailed off for a second, the continued. "I know that I can trust you. It's just… in the back of my mind, the worst possible thing can be imagined and I guess it kinda got away from me."
"It's ok. No more fighting, okay? Until I go away? Promise me that."
Spot kissed me quickly, pulled away slightly, said, "Promise," and then immediately pulled me into another, deeper kiss.
God, am I going to miss that.
…Well, anyway, that's about it for today's news.
Later!
Racetrack
8/11/04
Oh my god. Wow. And just… yeah. No words to describe this.
Here's what happened.
Today started out like any other normal summer day. Spot and I got up around noon, drove to Ortley Beach around one, met the gang on the beach, and had fun all day. We left around five to go home. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Until around seven o'clock.
Spot and I had agreed to baby-sit Hailey while Mrs. Conlon went out with some friends. That meant Hailey was watching some dumb show on the Disney Channel, and Spot and I were innocently spooning on the couch.
Then, the doorbell rang.
"I guess I'll get it," Spot said, when no one made an attempt to answer it. He got up and went to the front door. A few moments later, Spot appeared again, looking a bit frazzled. "Uh… Race? Come here."
I was curious, so I followed him. When I saw who was in the foyer, I immediately froze in my tracks. The one person I expected least and loathed the most was standing in the Conlon's entryway.
Yes. My mother.
She was holding a huge box filled with random things, which at a closer look, I recognized to be things of mine I had forgotten at home.
"Tony," she said, breaking me out of my still-frozen form.
"What da hell do you want, mom?" I spat back harshly at her.
She closed her eyes for a second than answered quietly and gently (yes, gently), "I deserved that harsh tone."
My mind reeled. "WHAT?"
My mother quickly changed subjects. "You may have noticed the 'For Sale' sign outside." I snorted, muttering 'no shit' under my breath. She didn't seem to notice, and continued on. "Well, Denton and I are moving on Tuesday. I was packing things and came across this stuff. Here." She handed me the box. "These belong to you."
I deposited the box on the ground, and faced my mother. I still didn't know why she was being so nice to me. So I asked her.
"Uh, Mom? What's with the sudden change? Why are you all of a sudden nice and civil to me?"
She nervously toyed with what I perceived was Denton's engagement ring before answering. "Honestly? I don't know. I still find it morally wrong, because two men together is just… disgusting." She paused for a second. I clenched my fists at my side, my anger rising inside me. I could see Spot doing the exact same thing as well. She finally continued. "But… I did realize something."
"Oh yeah? And what is that?" I asked, bitterly.
She looked at me square in the eyes. "You are my son. It shouldn't matter to me whether you like girls or boys. I'm supposed to love you unconditionally."
My mouth literally hit the floor. She just realized this now? "Are you serious?"
My mother nodded slowly. "I guess it's a little too late, though."
"Only about eight months too late." Spot snapped at her. I glared at him to keep quiet. He shrugged. "I know, I know. Sorry. But it's true!"
"Yes it is. Kicking you out of our house was the worst decision I have ever made. And I'm sorry Tony. I truly am. Can you forgive me?"
I flipped on her. "Forgive you? Are you out of your mind? After all that you put me through the past year?"
She looked like she was about to cry, but nodded. "I know. I deserve that too." She walked over to me and hugged me. I flinched at her touch, and didn't even try to hug back. She leg to and looked at me again, tears now in her eyes
Even thought she had apologized and was crying, I still couldn't totally forgive her. Not after what she had done to me.
"Maybe you can forgive me in time?" she said, her eyes pleading with me one last time.
I shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe."
She nodded again and sighed. "Goodbye then, Tony. Oh, and Spot? Please thank your mother for me. For everything. And I'm sorry again." With that, she walked out the Conlon's door.
I stood there, staring at the door, still not fully believing all that had happened.
Spot tapped me on the shoulder after a few minutes. "Are you okay?"
"No. Not really… But I will be. I just… Can I be alone for a little while?"
He smiled and kissed me before answering. "Sure. I'll be down here with Hailey if you need to talk."
And that leaves me to now. I still can't believe it. My mother, the source of my hatred, actually apologized. And I didn't forgive her. Because, I mean, how could I? She kicked me out and then torments me just because I am gay. So what that she had a change of heart. No mother does that to her son.
Oh well.
On another note, two weeks (exactly!) till college starts. I need to start getting things ready.
I'm gonna go downstairs to watch a movie with Spot now. And of course, Hailey too. Later.
Racetrack.
(1) Gettysburg College- My top choice of colleges! hehe...
A/N: woot! Another chapter done!
Two. Count them. TWO more chapters left!
And yeah… Sorry for the lack of updates.
And another thing… Because I know I won't update before then, it is two weeks till my birthday! (April 21st. 17 BABY! And I can DRIVE!) AND also two weeks till Gabe Damon's birthday (April 24th). So sing Happy Birthday to me AND Spot! hehe…
ShoutOuts
BitterSweetDragon: hehe! Yay for make-up kisses! lol thankies!
StrawberriShake: BERRI! –glomps- you are the best. I love you! ( carrot 2 you! ((cuz ffn wont let me make the symbol)) hehe)
Sara: SARA! History class is AMAZING. And YAY for making you write slash. (ps- FINISH YOUR FIC. And POST it. It's good!) hehe…
Air: hehe yes, I actually updated! Lol.. Thanks for the review!
Hopscotch and Link: sadly, yes. Two chapters left! -tear- lol Thanks!
Bec: yay! Thankies for the review!
Sloane Miette: hehe Davey is a great plot twist, don't ya think? Lol thankies!
And now the moment you have all been waiting for… it's REVIEW time!
And I'm off!
-Braids
