Author's Notes: this chapter is MUCH better than the first. it's my fave of the three, but not to stall or blow my own horn, onward..
Disclaimer: I still own nothing.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Chapter two-"Hate"
Kikyo POV
I stagger under the minimal weight of my bow. I look up into the beautiful blue sky, as the birds fly, wings fluttering like trees' leaves in the wind. My sight is blurred, and my vision begins to fail, but I still see the world through a
blood-drenched haze. My gaze falls to the funeral pyre with its ceremonial fires already lit. This isn't fair. Even as my friends, my family, this village; Even as they lay me down to meet the flames, I think that this is not how it should be.
This is not fair.
/My mind has been shut down
My friends have been let down/
I allowed this village to be gutted and burnt for my responsibilities. For my own purpose, my destiny, these people suffered. And it is not fair. How could he do this to me! How could I be so foolish as to pursue my own values! How could I be so selfish!
/What is the reason?
There's millions of reasons/
It's not fair! I was never allowed to live, and thus I should not be permitted to die like this! Why! Why me! Why did he do this! Out of everyone, why me!
/Single me out/
I allowed him to puncture my barrier, rip off my outer shell, that hid the world from my feelings, from my heart and soul. He exposed me, and my spirit, I should thank him... he gave me life.. but he killed me! Why!
/Tear off my front!
Make me expose,
What I conceal/
He killed me! Why! Why did he bring me to life, only to rip it away and slaughter that same faith he gave me! I watch my own blood run over the ground, and the flowers wince in pain as the crimson stain touches them.
/Life is-A bullet
The bloodstains-will prove it!
It's tearing through you and me!
Not caring about you or me/
It isn't fair! As my hatred grows, the jewel blackens in my hand. I could save myself.. but what is life without death? And what is life without him? How did this happen! How did it come to this!
/Now I could explain everything/
As my anger flares, the flames of the pyre darken and writhe with black hate. I hate everything, I love everything. I am not allowed to, but I do, because of him.
/You cursed the fire
Now FUCK the flame!
What is the reason?
There's millions of reasons/
How could this happen? The fire touches my skin, yet I feel no pain. Not anymore. He made my blood run with a newfound strength. Yes, that strength was mortal, but it was beautiful, all the same. With him, I lived! But he planned it all along. He made me love him, just to pull the wool over my eyes, just to murder me! Why!
/Blindfold me now!
(Spin me around)
Spin me around!
Picking me up
When I fall down/
He made me trust him, he made me put trust into myself, though the knowledge of mortality's faults constantly loomed in my mind. This is my fault, all mine. This is my revelation: In my next lives, I shall never fall prey to one like HIM! He feeds upon sadness, chaos, blood, death!
/Life is-A bullet
The
Bloodstains-Will prove it!
It's tearing through you and me
Not caring about you or me/
That traitor ripped me apart, took my heart in his hands and bled it dry while I watched. And I did nothing.
/Today I feel blue/
I don't know why these thoughts arise. Why nostalgia and regret? There is nothing to be done, now.
/My head is in the clouds/
Someone, please, save me! I don't want to die, but I do not wish to live! Please, just let me awaken, take me away from this place! Save these flames, this hate for another!
/Separate
me!
My soul from my body/
Why do I question my ways, only now! Why did I do nothing when it occured? Why only now do I recognize the flaws of my actions! Now my sadness, not rage consumes me, devours the remains of my false excuse for a soul...
/Today I feel blue...
My head is in the clouds...
Separate me...
My soul from my body.../
I suppose it is punishment, for feeling joy and sorrow, for the love and hate I shared with him, for expressing myself in fields other than my duties. Why only now do I realize this? Perhaps it is irony, to torment me into unrest. I pray that is not my fate: To be exposed and loved then to be tortured and killed again. I deserve this, no matter how unfair it may seem. Though I tell myself this, it still does not seem fair.
/Feelin' so lonely...
I'm not the only one.../
Get me out of here, please! Save me!
/Separate me!
My soul from my body/
I felt my heart fly! I felt love! That was my only fault! How could I! Why did I lower myself to such mortality!
/'Cause I'm in love with too many things
And I HATE EVERYTHING!/
This is not fair! The flames lick across my entire body now, but the only heat is in my mind, my core. My spite burns brighter than any earthly flame. This is not happening! Death is supposed to hurt! How could this darkness enveloping my senses be anything other than beautiful? Perhaps my destiny is not so torturous, but I still feel the hate. It ceases to ebb away, and hide behind my stoic aura. Why do these people get to live, while I lay burning upon this damned pyre? Why me?
/Single me out!
Tear off my front!
Make me expose-
What I conceal/
He tricked me! How could I be so blind? Why did I do this to myself?
/Blindfold me now
(Spin me around)
Spin me around!
Picking me up,
When I fall down/
How could he do this to me? Why? This is not fair! Why is fate so cruel? Why did my destiny consist of this?
/Life is-a bullet!
The bloodstains-Will prove it!
It's
tearing through you and me!
Not caring about you or me/
I breathed, I hated, I loved, I thought, I felt. I Lived! That was my only fault! The flames consume me and my mind blanks out. My last thought was of the one who brought me to life, and then stole my heart; The one who was sent by the Gods to punish me for my actions. For my failure, I am sorry.
/'Cause I'm in love with too many things!
And I HATE EVERYTHING/
I am sorry.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Author's Notes: I think this chapter is WAY better than the last one... hope you liked it. Ja ne! BTW, you really have to hear this song to understand how desperate and angry and hopeless it sounds. If you have the chance, listen to it, cuz it's really good! later!
