Muses O' Doom
Episode 06: Chibi: Part II


Nobody noticed anything unusual about the Elric brothers as they walked into HQ. Nobody had even so much of a hint of suspicion that inside Alphonse were two chibified enemies of the military. Not that anybody would suspect something like that; only crazy, paranoid people think up stuff like that to be suspicious of. Maybe we all ought to listen to what crazy, paranoid people have to say more often, hmmm?

Anyway, the pair (quartet, actually) got up to Mustang's office without any difficulties at all. What do you mean Mustang doesn't work in Central? Oh, I see. That little sticky note saying 'Teh Plot Hole Shovel wuz heer' makes perfect sense now. Anyway, so the pair (quartet) got up to Mustang's office without any difficulties at all. Ed, as usual, didn't bother knocking, simply striding on in with Al following a bit more quietly behind.

"Why, Fullmetal, I thought you gave me your report yesterday. Or is your memory as short as you are?"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER HIS OWN NAME?"

"Niisan…"

Ed ground his teeth, "Guess what, Mustang? I've got a new report. Open up, Al."

Al obligingly unlatched the front of his armor, and out clambered mini-Scar and mini-Envy. Everyone in the room gaped.

Scar turned back to Al, "Mister Al, where are we now? Did we find Auntie 'Eva yet?"

Meanwhile, Envy walked right up to the stunned group of military personnel, which included Mustang, Havoc, Fury, Breda, and Falman (Hawkeye had gone out for a moment to get some coffee), and stopped in front of them, "Why're you all wearing the same weird clothes?"

They stared at him, and they stared at Scar, who was currently being explained to by Al that they were in a special kind of office where his friends worked, and that they hadn't found 'Eva' yet. Envy looked up at them for a minute before he got bored and ran back to Al, "Mister Al, I think your friends are broken."

Havoc found his voice first, choking out, "H-how…?"

"We haven't the slightest clue," Ed replied to the unfinished question, "We just found 'em like this."

"Well…" Mustang looked a little unsure, "…should we arrest them, or what?"

Al shook his head, "No. Even if they are actually Scar and Envy, they're just children now. They didn't remember who we were, and they're acting just like little kids. Oh, and they're looking for someone named Eva. Ring any bells?" When everyone shook their heads, Al sighed, "I didn't think so…but I think we ought to try and find her. She might know something about why they're like this."

"But how do we find her? There are probably quite a few 'Eva's in Central alone, and she might not even be in Central," Mustang rubbed his forehead frustratedly.

"What is going on here?" Hawkeye came through the door, coffee mug in hand. Then she saw Scar and Envy, "What is going on here?" The situation was hurriedly explained to her, and she nodded, "We have to find this Eva. We don't know if the…change is temporary or permanent. They could change back to their normal selves at any time."

Everyone else shot one another worried looks; nobody had considered that possibility.

Fury spoke up, "Um…if we're all out looking for Eva…what are we going to do with them?"

"Someone will have to stay behind and watch them," Hawkeye stated, then looked around, "Any volunteers? No? Then we'll draw straws."

A Short Time Later…

"I can't believe I have to stay here and baby-sit…" Mustang grumbled in annoyance. What the hell was he supposed to do with two pint-sized enemies?

"Mister Roy?" Envy tugged on his shirt, "Mister Roy, I'm bored. I want to play a game."

"And I'm hungry," Scar added, "Mister Roy, can I have a cookie?"

"Aarrgh…" Mustang sighed and hung his head, "No, you can't have a cookie. And no, I'm not playing any games with either of you."

"Why?" they chorused.

"There aren't any cookies around here, and it is far beneath my dignity to play with children."

"Why?"

Five minutes later…

"Why?"

"AAAAAARRRGH!" Mustang snapped. Out came the gloves, and he only just managed to divert his aim from Scar and Envy to a hapless fake tree sitting in a corner before snapping. FWOOSH went the fake tree.

"Wow! Do it again! Do it again!" Envy jumped up and down.

"How did you do that, Mister Roy?" Scar asked, eyes wide.

"My own special kind of alchemy," Mustang answered proudly.

Scar frowned and crossed his arms, declaring loudly, "Akilmy is bad."

Mustang sighed, 'Well, he's definitely Scar…'


Meanwhile, everyone else was searching the city diligently for 'Eva'. They were having no luck at all. They were searching around the area where Ed and Al had found the two 'children' in the first place, when by a stroke of pure chance, a silver haired girl ran out of the alleys.

"Scar-san? Envy? Where'd you guys get off too?" she called out frantically. Ed was the one who heard her and sprinted in the direction of the yelling, the others following behind. They stopped in front of her, and she waved, "Hi, there! Have any of you seen two little mini-versions of Scar and Envy running around, perchance?"

They all gaped, before Hawkeye spoke, "Edward and Alphonse found them, and they're back at HQ. Are you Eva?"

The girl nodded, "Well…actually my name's Ieva, but I can see how you'd think it was Eva. But are they okay?"

"They're fine. Colonel Mustang is watching them," Al answered.

Ieva's eyes got all big, and she squeaked, "I don't think that's a good idea…" In her head, she was saying 'I better not find that my muses have been barbequed by Mr. Snap-Happy…'

"Why not? They won't change back, will they?" Fury looked nervous.

"Heck if I know," Ieva shrugged, "Probably not; that'd be way too easy."

"Easy? Are we talking about the same Scar and Envy here? How would them changing back be anything easy?" Ed demanded.

"Oh, that's right. You guys don't like them. Silly me, forgetting like that," Ieva smiled, "But, see, I want them to be changed back. It's kind of imperative, really. It was only an accident that they got chibified in the first place. Envy went and fired a ray gun while it was still pointing at them, the silly."

Everyone else blinked.

"Oh, whoops, I'm being confusing again, aren't I?" Ieva rubbed the back of her head, "Anyway, can I have them back now?"


The group had been quite happy to get the pair off of their hands, and Ieva was taken back to HQ to get them. The sight that greeted them inside Mustang's office was not very pretty. Envy was sitting on top of the ceiling fan, dangling Mustang's gloves above his head. But both he and Mustang seemed to be frozen in place, staring at Scar who seemed to have just blown up a desk by accident. The little Ishbalan was poking his right arm curiously, eyes wide and confused. Then he noticed the group that had just walked in, and more importantly, who was at the front of them.

"Auntie 'Eva!" he cried happily, running over and tackling her legs, "You found us! We got lost outside, an' then Mister Al and Mister Ed found us an' Mister Ed was really mean but I like Mister Al 'cause he's nice an' gave us a ride inside his magic armor an' then we met Mister Roy an' he lights stuff on fire with akilmy but that's bad an' I told him so but he didn't listen an' guess what my right arm can turn red an' blow stuff up-"

"Scar-chan, breathe," Ieva interrupted, smiling widely at the adorable little display, "Envy-chan, come down from there and give 'Mister Roy' his gloves back!"

"Aaaawwww…okay…" Envy jumped down from the fan and handed Mustang his gloves. The Flame Alchemist snatched them back, shooting the little Homunculus a glare as he put them on. But Envy had already run up to Ieva, forgetting completely about his previous game, looking up at Ieva with a guilty stare, "Auntie 'Eva, are we in trouble?"

"No, you're not. It's my fault for falling asleep," she smiled at him, then sent a murderous glare at Ed, "But someone else sure is in trouble…what was it that I heard from Scar-chan about 'Mister Ed' being mean?"

"Uh…well…you see…" Ed stuttered. He'd never thought that he'd see someone whose scariness could rival Winry's.

"He trapped us inna box an' picked me up by my coat an' laughed at us!" Scar pointed an accusing finger at Ed.

"Yeah!" Envy agreed loudly.

Ieva's glare intensified, and from her pocket she slowly withdrew…two ordinary wooden chopsticks, "Behold, the Chopsticks of Punishment!" and rapped Ed on the head with them twice.

"OW! That hurt!" shouted Ed.

"Oh, but that's only the beginning, for I am a FANFIC WRITER! MUHAHAHA!" Ieva noticed everyone giving her funny looks, "Ehe…forget I said anything…C'mon now, Scar-chan, Envy-chan. Time to go."

"Okay!"

And so the trio walked back out the door, leaving everyone inside in confusion.

"What the hell just happened?" Ed shouted after the door closed.


It took about twenty minutes to walk all the way back to the Studio, and the whole time Ieva was thinking about how to change Scar and Envy back to normal. Or at least, she was thinking about that with the part of her brain that wasn't occupied with watching them. When they finally got inside, she went over to where she had left the 'Chibi Ray' and began to examine it for some kind of reverse button.

"Auntie 'Eva, can we look at all your stuff?" Envy asked, looking at the pile of junk with something akin to awe.

"Yeah, sure, just don't break anything or push any buttons," Ieva replied in a distracted tone.

"Yay! Scar, come look at all this stuff! Hey, this thing looks like a ray gun!" Envy picked something up off the pile and ran over to Ieva, "Auntie 'Eva, what's this?"

With an overwhelming sense of déjà vu, Ieva took the ray gun and looked it over. It was a kind of boring beige color, and like the Chibi Ray, had a large red button on the side instead of a trigger, "Hmmm…" she said, and, aiming the gun at Envy, pushed the button. A cloud of beige smoke puffed up around where he had been standing, and from the smoke came a loud voice.

"What the hell?" Envy, restored to his normal self, waved the smoke away, "Did that ray thingy do anything to me? I don't feel any different…"

"You've been a four-year-old all afternoon, Envy," Ieva stated, happy that she had a way to turn them back to normal.

"WHAT? You're kidding!"

"Nope, not kidding. The ray hit Scar-san too, and just look at him," Ieva pointed at Scar, who was gaping up at Envy.

"Envy, how'd you get so big?"

Envy's eyes widened, "You weren't kidding."

"Told you," Ieva said, firing the ray at Scar.

A few seconds later, when the fully restored Ishbalan walked out of the smoke, coughing, he looked at Ieva, "What just happened?"

"You," Envy stated, grinning, "were a four year old midget just a few seconds ago."

"What?" Scar stared blankly.

Ieva nodded, "It's true, Scar-san. You and Envy both got zapped by a ray gun and have been little chibis all afternoon. I have pictures!"

Scar paled, "I don't remember anything about that…"

"Oh, it was so cute! But, you know, I think that this incident might be a warning not to try to organize the junk pile anymore. You never know what kind of wacky stuff you'll find in my mind. Even I don't know most of what's in here."

"Agreed," Scar shook his head, "I have no wish for anything like this to happen again. The pile can just stay unorganized."

"What about the ray guns?" Envy asked, giving the aforementioned guns a wary glance.

Ieva shrugged, and tossed them back onto the junk pile. Within seconds they had sunk into its depths, "There. They'll be found when they're needed."

Envy gave the pile a weird look, "Ooookaaaay…Ieva, sometimes your mind scares the hell outta me."


End Episode 06

A/N: Whoo, that was fun! I updated quick too! Oh, and everyone, I finally updated my homepage; there's a bunch of new pictures, and some of them are of chibified Scar-san and Envy! Go look, go look!
Scar: And if you do go look, she'd really like it if you commented in her Guestbook. You have no idea how happy that makes her.
Hehe, thanks for telling them, Scar-san. You're so nice; I don't understand how anybody could think that you're evil. Anyway, time to answer my reviews.

Anasazi Darkmoon: Squee, mini palm tree! Ah, Episode 24...my very favorite episode of all. I get all fangirly just thinking about it. X3
MadMood: Yes, he would and he is!
LadyRiona: Mean ole' Edo got what he deserved...my Chopsticks of Punishment really hurt. Muhahaha! I haven't seen War of the Worlds yet; I'm going to read the book first.
Silvertails Tora: XD Nice Hughes imitation. How did your friends react to THAT?
SoulOmenspride: Yay, thank you for liking it! I am ashamed for falling asleep on duty... -is shot- And don't worry about Scar-san and Envy; I take very good care of them.
Darkness Shadow of Hatred: Envy plushie! Cuteness! I want to make a Scar plushie...But I don't think you should'veruffledEnvy's hair...(Envy: Urge...to kill...rising...) Oo Run faster!
RubyAlchemist: That's what I've been telling people! But your argument is more detailed and lots longer. Kudos to you!
TheRealInuYasha: Yay for Envy fangirls! Yah, I know he kills Ed...but he comes back to life anyway, so I didn't mind too much. I'mproud to say thatEpisode 50didn't change my opinion of Envy in the slightest (and man, does he make a cool looking dragon...)! I'm glad you think I'm a good humorwriter. :)