Kira?
Somewhere deep in her psyche, Kira could hear the voice calling her name. It was familiar, and it filled her with a warm sensation. But before that familiarity could coalesce into recognition, the warmth spread, and she succumbed to a deep sleep.
Her dreams drifted through dark swamps, gaseous clouds, and shadowy, leering figures. Kira felt as if someone was there with her, but every time she turned around, certain that she would find somebody, she saw nothing. She wandered through a formless landscape, occasionally peering down tunnels leading to red, flashing lights. The image transformed into a girl grieving over a tombstone in the desert, and finally became Leia's body dissolving into nothingness in the arms of Ben Solo. The last vision caused her to stir before unconsciousness once again consumed her.
When consciousness returned, Kira could feel the firm surface of a mattress below her and a rough blanket over her body. She kept her eyes closed, still half ensconced in sleep. As awareness slowly emerged, she heard birdsong, distant and muffled, but still distinct. For a moment, she thought she was on Yavin-4 waking up to the dawn chorus of birds in the jungle below their temple. But with awareness came recollection – she had been in space, fleeing from something. Then the full recognition hit her, and with a jolt of adrenaline, she sat bolt upright, taking in her surroundings.
She was still on the Amaya, but as she attuned her senses to what was around her, she could hear the birdsong more distinctly. Rising to her feet, she left her quarters, crossed the galley, and stepped into the cockpit. Through the cockpit window, she saw a pair of blue-white moons rising above a forested plateau. The sky glowed in brilliant pastels, on the verge of either evening or dawn. A pair of towering trees rose above her, framing the moons and the forested plateau beyond. Kira's forehead creased in confusion as she thought, but I was lost in space.
Before Kira had time to ponder how she could have found herself on a planet, she became aware of a tingle up her spine that had only ever accompanied the presence of another being strong with the Force. As she tapped into the Force to sense who might be nearby, she gasped at the sudden power of the Force flowing into her. As she sank into the awareness, she felt the Force radiating with overwhelming power from every corner of the landscape around her. She had never felt anything like it before, and as she continued to reach out with her feelings, her awareness touched on a well of light of infinite depth and power.
Kira could have easily lost herself in the depth of that power, but the tingling returned, drawing her out of her reverie. Opening her eyes, she looked down from the cockpit into the forest of towering trees before her. There, in the distance, a white light flickered faintly between the bases of two massive trees. With the possibility of encountering intelligent life here and finding a way to fix her ship dawning, she took a quick readout from her ship's scanners on the atmospheric composition and found that it was habitable. She raced out of the cockpit, calling her lightsabers to her from the shelf beside her bed. Wrapping her cloak around her, she activated the boarding ramp and descended into a fine mist.
Kira reached the bottom of the ramp, stepping onto a soft carpet of moss as she surveyed her surroundings. Strips of grass-covered earth threaded a shallow pond of crystalline water. Fireflies danced about the water, casting a glow in the semi-darkness. The resonant sounds of bird song grew stronger now, echoing against the cavernous trees rising hundreds of meters into the sky around her. The trees had a purple-tinge, highlighted green by mosses and lichens. She stepped out from under her ship and looked up. The crowns of the trees vanished into the clouds high above, and she thought of what the forests of Kashyyyk must have looked like before the Empire burned most of them to the ground during the war.
The tingling returned for a third time, and she stepped forward in the direction of the light. The light continued to glimmer about one hundred meters ahead, and after reaching out with her senses for any threat, she walked forward along tufts of grass, occasionally hopping over or treading through clear pools of water to reach the light.
As she neared the light, it drifted away, as if drawing her onward. She paused, remembering a distant memory of following lights into a darkened corridor as a child. But her senses told her that the light ahead was welcoming – a friend. No sense of misgiving arose in her, so she continued after the light, which moved in concert with her, leading her ahead through the forest of colossal trees and the shallow pools of water about which fireflies danced.
For fifteen minutes she followed the light until it guided her to a clearing. Upon reaching the clearing, she surveyed a vast meadow ringed by the same towering trees that dominated the forest. Running water flowed nearby, adding muted, multi-toned music to the bird song. The light stopped in the middle of the meadow and hovered; it was an amorphous shape that swirled and coalesced a meter above the ground. Kira watched it entranced, waiting for it to do something. Suddenly, the shape stopped moving, and gradually, it coalesced into the form of a woman. The woman's features were indistinguishable at first, but they soon solidified into a recognizable being. With a shock of recognition and a leap of joy, Kira recognized who she was – Leia!
Kira raced forward through the meadow toward Leia, who held her arms out wide as if to embrace her. A hoarse male voice called out, "Kira, NO!"
Kira stopped and turned, igniting her lightsabers. Behind her stood a vision of Ben, alone and in a forested environment as well. His expression was one of terror and shock, and as they gazed at each other across space and time, he asked, "What are you doing?!"
Nonplussed at his question and the urgency behind it, Kira turned back toward Leia. But in place of the beautiful meadow where Leia stood waiting to embrace her, she saw a vast valley below from the precipice of a cliff. Shocked and terrified, she stepped backwards and recognized that she had been inches away from running over the cliff, which would have led to her death.
"What just happened?" Ben asked, clearly concerned that she was on the verge of committing suicide.
Although some rational corner in Kira's mind knew that Ben had just saved her life, the anger that came from not being able to reach Leia – the one person she had wanted to see more than any other – clouded her vision. She lashed out, saying, "You ruined it!"
"Ruined what?" Ben asked, nonplussed.
Kira guessed he did not see Leia and instead only saw her running to a cliff. Still angry, she barked, "Leave me alone."
"But Kira, you nearly jumped off a. . ." Ben began.
Kira interrupted him, shouting, "I said leave me alone!" And with a massive effort, she shut her mind off to him, and the vision of him faded into darkness.
Ben stood astonished and confused as he watched the vision of Kira vanish. His senses returned to where he was, and he saw the night sky painted with millions of stars above him. A fire crackled and spat in a rocky fire ring to the right, and Ben remembered that he was not alone. Turning away from the spot where the vision had emerged, he saw his grandfather regarding him, silent and still.
"It was the girl," Vader spoke.
"Yes," said Ben. "She nearly ran off a cliff."
"You care for this girl?" Vader asked, a note of curiosity in his measured, modulated voice.
Ben was reluctant to answer the question after a year of attempting to deny and hide any feelings he still had for her. Inwardly, he acknowledged that, frightened of her and what she represented though he was, he could not forget that he had spent the entirety of his childhood with her, trained with her, laughed with her, confided in her, and near the end, even took a hand in guiding her.
"Your thoughts betray you, grandson," Vader said, although Ben was slightly relieved that he could not register any disapproval or admonishment in the observation.
Taking the lack of admonishment as a positive sign, Ben admitted, "Yes. I swore to apprehend her, but in the end, I held back."
"The Jedi did not approve, did they?" Vader asked pointedly.
"No." Ben admitted, and a fresh wave of anger surged as he remembered the hours of training, self-blame, even emotional self-flagellation as he tried to eradicate his feelings for Kira and his mother. "They told me to destroy my feelings."
"The Jedi did the same to me as well," Vader admitted, a note of understanding in his voice.
Ben's curiosity surged. He knew that his grandfather had loved a woman who had become his grandmother, and he knew she had been a famous politician and hero of the Clone Wars before her sudden death. But Ben knew little of the story, and with his curiosity piqued, he asked, "What happened?"
"I fell in love with your grandmother – Padme," and as Vader said the word, Ben could hear the sadness in his voice. "The Jedi forbid attachment and love, but I could not stop loving her. We married in secret, and she became pregnant with your mother and uncle."
Ben considered Vader's story, recalling the arguments between his mother and uncle and the other Masters about the perils of attachment. The older masters, specifically Master Kcaj and Master Rancisis, had been vehemently against Luke's more progressive stance on emotional attachment. Ben began to feel a deeper appreciation for why Luke had advocated for that stance.
Vader continued his story, saying, "I grew tired of hiding my love for her, and a Sith lord named Darth Sidious promised me the power to protect her. He seduced me to the Dark Side to help me attain that power. Obi-wan intervened, and Padme died. I was not strong enough to save her."
Grief surged in Ben as he thought of his mother dying before his eyes. He had not seen Melso coming, so lost in his longing and confusion as he was. He remembered Veryx murdering his father in front of him; Ben had been too slow to stop that from happening, too. Although he had grown up reviling Darth Vader as one of the villains of Galactic history, suddenly he found that he could relate to him all too well.
"I wasn't strong enough to save my mother or father either," Ben admitted, tears welling in his eyes.
"Yet, the strength to avenge them lies within your grasp," Vader said, drawing his attention back to their training.
"The dark side is forbidden," Ben said, recalling the hours of teachings on the danger of following the dark path – pain, suffering, loss, and trauma were the only rewards that awaits the quick and easy solution.
"Indeed," Vader acknowledged. "Your uncle adhered to the old teachings, no matter how much he wished to progress the Jedi Order. We often fought bitterly over it."
Ben was surprised to hear of conflict between father and son, but then he remembered the lifetime of secrets Luke had kept. He asked, "Is that why Luke would never let me talk to you?"
"We became estranged. He feared the influence I might have on you," Vader admitted.
"So," Ben thought it through before arriving at the obvious conclusion, "A Jedi could use the dark side, and if he used it for the right cause. . ."
"He need not become a Sith," Vader completed the sentence.
Ben settled into a ready position and prepared to resume their training. Vader nodded to him and raised both of his hands. A dozen rocks rose from the ground around them and lifted into the air. Ben ignited his lightsaber and lifted it into a ready position.
Before acting, Vader advised Ben, "Use your aggressive feelings – your anger, your grief, your rage. Let them flow through you."
Without warning, the rocks flew toward Ben in unison. Ben sprang into action, dodging several rocks and slicing three in half, causing them to fall harmlessly away. One rock slammed into his back, knocking him to the ground where he gasped for breath.
"You hold back," Vader admonished. "Years of training to control your feelings – abandon it. Unlearn it."
Ben rose to his feet, still doubled over, rubbing his hand over his aching back. He reignited his lightsaber and righted himself gingerly.
"Again," Vader said stoically into the night, and another dozen rocks rose from the ground. Ben tapped into his aggressive feelings as the rocks flew toward him. This time, he dodged most and slashed through the rest. His moment of triumph screeched to a halt as he felt another rock slam into his shoulder, knocking him forward.
"What was that?!" Ben asked, angrily.
"Your opponent will not allow you to congratulate yourself," Vader said. As he said so, a second rock hit Ben in the hip, knocking him to the ground. A third rock soared directly toward Ben's face, and he barely managed to dodge it.
"Stop!" Ben called, feeling exhaustion overtake him.
"Your opponent will not yield," Vader admonished, and another dozen rocks rose from the ground.
Ben, furious at the relentless assault and the betrayal of trust, screamed, "I said STOP!"
A torrent of rage and fury flowed through him, and the boulders that rose into the air shattered into thousands of fragmented pieces. Breathing heavily, Ben looked across at Vader, who continued to stand motionless, his red aura glowing in the darkness of the clearing. He lowered his arms and nodded his head, saying, "Good. Very good."
Peering down from the edge of the cliff, Kira scanned the landscape below. A vast valley hemmed in on three sides by towering cliffs a kilometer high unfurled before her, winding onward toward a shoreline marking the boundary of a vast and distant sea. The valley was forested, and in the blue light of the twin moons, she followed the meandering silver thread of a river flowing through the heart of the valley. She traced the course of the river upstream with her gaze, following it to a brilliantly glowing caldera of light radiating from the deepest crease of the valley. Beams of light arced from the caldera, which threw light into the air like a volcano belching lava from the depths of the earth. As Kira's gaze settled on the caldera, her senses awoke, drawing her to the power radiating from it. She had felt that power when she had opened her senses to this world, and an intuition within her told her that this caldera was the source.
She felt longing to be close to that source of power, and she turned her gaze closer afoot to find a path into the valley. She walked along the edge of the cliff for twenty meters until she crossed a rudimentary path worn into the rocky surface of the cliff that started near an ancient-looking tree. The path descended toward the edge of the cliff, vanishing as it began a precipitous descent over rocky ledges to the valley below. By the light of the moon, Kira studied the faint path downslope until it disappeared into the forest.
As she traced the line of the trail, a flash of light caught her eye in the valley below. She scanned back to the light and surmised that it was a reflection – the light of the twin moons catching on something smooth and reflective. She dashed back to her ship, following the impressions that her footsteps had left in the grass. Stepping into the ship, she rummaged through a compartment for a pair of binoculars. A curious warbling erupted in a cascade of chirps and beeps behind her. She turned to see her droid, BD-5 clucking nervously about the galley, watching her with an air of apparent concern.
"It's okay, BD," she assured the droid, then added, "I'm just going out to get a quick look at something." She extended her hand out to the droid, saying, "Come along."
The droid strode forward, and as Kira knelt to the ground and reached her arm out, the droid climbed up her arm to perch on her shoulder. With the droid perching on her shoulder, Kira raced back to the cliff. Bringing the binoculars to her eyes, she scanned the cliffside until she saw the glint. The light flashed into her eyes, magnified, and she adjusted the focus on the binoculars to get a clearer look. The light was reflecting off a familiar transparasteel cockpit windshield. She scanned the area around the windshield and saw the scattered wreckage indicating a ship had crashed there. She examined the wreckage from above, identifying an intact fuselage with four wings protruding outward at odd angles. Plants grew around and upon the wreckage, which with a shock of recognition, she identified as a Rebellion-era T-65 X-Wing.
Luke! She thought to herself, but there was no sign of any human habitation nearby. She reached out her senses, calling his name. She waited, but there was no response. With a rush of fear that he might have died in the crash, she dashed down the trail toward the X-wing, her droid clinging to her shoulders as she began the hike down.
In her preoccupation over whether she would find Luke in the wreckage, Kira did not notice the towering uneti tree growing from a rocky outcrop overlooking the valley. She passed directly beneath its boughs, not even registering the existence of the tree. As she passed, a face-like constellation of knots and burls quivered slightly. A pair of eyes opened in the tree and watched as Kira passed.
