Chapter 8 : the devil's spawn.

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Anxiety and paranoia plagued me for months.

The possibility that my parents could die soon haunted my sleeping and waking mind.

I was never one for dramatics but, during the early stages of my mother's pregnancy, if I was next to a body of water (no matter how small) I'd freak the fuck out.

Shiro thought it was hilarious. Shin, ever the hero, saw it as something to conquer.

In fact, true to their cute dumpling nature, they both tried to help me get over my 'fear' of water.

I didn't mind, all they did was hype me up or comfort me whenever there was a puddle or lake in our vicinity.

It was cute, until it wasn't.

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On a cloudy afternoon, the siblings and I were walking back from 'school'.(it was really just elder Todo ranting to us while we copied our children's books over and over, at least the exposure to spoken japanese helped with language acquisition)

The clouds covered the sun but its warmth could still be felt, a sign of spring's approach. Snow still covered most of the landscape, as is the case all year round, but the lakes had already fully melted.

There was no big difference between seasons in this town, it was either snow with freezing air, snow with cold air or (surprise, surprise) snow with not so cold, almost warm, air.

Obviously, snow was a constant.

I hated the cold, but snow still had a place in my heart. ( not for long tho, snow can be annoying af.)

Anyway, I was walking next to Shin, absentmindedly listening to him babble about one thing or another.

Shiro was behind us, laughing at…something. Probably her next prank victim, she looked like an angel but she had a surprisingly mean streak.

We were approaching my house, consequently, we were also approaching the lake that was in front of my house.

It was a small lake but it haunted me all the same, its glimmering surface almost mocking me.

I could see that damned lake from my room, I even had nightmares about it, the (possible) destruction of my family laying in its depths. Oh so close.

I fucking hated that lake.

So, naturally, I walked a fair distance around the lake to reach my house.

The siblings didn't like that.

"Ku-Chan! You're five years old now, your too old to be scared of water." Shin complained, stopping in front of the lake.

I rolled my eyes, it was the same conversation over and over again. I gave a sigh.

"Shin-kun, I'm not scared of the water, I just don't like it." I repeated for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Then prove it! Go to the lakeside and look at the water. If you don't get all sissy about it again then I'll believe you!" He puffed his chest, crossing his arms proudly.

"Yeah, dad says real men shouldn't be scared of anything!" Shiro added from beside us.

Yeah, their dad was kind of a jerk so I'm not inclined to believe anything he says. I tried helping them build their own views without their father's influence.

But in the end they were still kids.

I sighed again.

"I don't want to do that. If you don't believe me, that's your problem, not mine. I'm fine the way I am." With that said, I turned around to leave only to be stopped by Shin holding my arm.

"Oh come on! What's the harm in taking a look, just a quick peek and you'll see how harmless it is." He insisted, tugging me back towards the lakeside.

I resisted his hold, but he was nine years old to my five. I stood no chance.

Still, I dug my feet into the ground as much as I could. I was dragged anyway.

We stood close to the edge of the lake, I clutched Shin's arm in a death grip.

A death grip that he proceeded to rip off of him claiming that "this is something you have to do on your own, I believe in you" or whatever.

He put his hands lightly on my shoulders instead, not holding me but still stopping me from backing away.

"Come on, just look at the water. It's really harmless!" Shin encouraged.

I shook my head trying to calm my breathing, I refused to look at the water.

(if you can't see it it's not there)

"You're from water country, how can you be afraid of water? It's ridiculous!" Shiro said. "Do you need a little…push?" She added with a smile that was more of a baring of teeth, eyes glimmering in mischief.

"Shiro don't-" Shin started.

My eyes widened as I felt her push me lightly on the shoulder, I landed right next to the edge. (as she intended, she was mischievous not evil.)

She giggled lightly at the glare I threw at her, obviously turning a deaf ear to her brother's scolding.

I sighed once more and made to get up, already tired of this shit.

I stood up, carefully, melting snow was very sli-

My foot slipped.

Because of course it would.

Fuck. that. lake.

Shiro might not be evil, but this lake sure as hell is.

I fell into the cold water.

Anxiety overwhelmed me, not because of being submerged in water, no, it was because...what if it was now.

Panic swirled in my chest as my head broke through the water surface.

What if my kekkei genkai activated.

what if it activated and he saw it?

What if he saw it and knew, knew it wasn't just me who was 'cursed'?

What if he did it- what if he killed- what if I killed-

What if my panic is what triggers it ?

My heart was beating too fast my thoughts running in the vicious circle, panicking over my panicking, clogged with what ifs.

Because what if they die-

What if I have to kill him-

What if they see-

I cried.

I cried while clutching the frozen edge of the lake, fingers white from my grip.

I bawled my eyes out like the child I physically was.

Shin and Shiro's comforting words were like white noise to my overwhelmed self. They helped me out of the devil's spawn (fuck you lake) and rushed me to the house.

Mom opened the door to find me dripping wet, tears a constant stream done my cheeks and case of hiccups that won't let me speak properly.

Luckily, the siblings stayed and explained to my mother what happened to me.

They got an earful from my mom after she checked that all three of us were okay and gave us a cup of hot chocolate with a fluffy towel and a promise if a warm bath for me.

Shin was a sobbing mess, he couldn't stop apologizing, his little face red and blotchy.

Shiro actually looked like she felt bad, she apologized once and promised not to do it again and to be more careful, I believed her.

The way her hands trembles as she held mine was telling enough.

Suffice to say that that was the last time the stubborn siblings ever nagged me about my fears.

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Author's note :

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