Chapter 30: Talk to Your Mom

"Derek...guess what I got to eat after we looked for the fireflies?" Dawsyn asked from the backseat. She held a homemade kite she made in her hands.

"Hmm...S'mores?" Derek replied.

"Hey!" Dawsyn frowned. "How did you know?"

"Lucky guess." Derek laughed.

"Well, I ate three of them!"

"Three? That's a lot."

"Uh huh...and then I fell in the mud cause Quintin tripped me... it was okay cause I changed my clothes, and I wasn't too messy."

"Did you like sleeping in a tent?"

"Yeah...can we all go camping again?"

"You, me, and your mom?"

"Eww no."

"Eww?" Derek frowned.

"I mean you and my friends...not Mommy."

"I don't know, Daws. We'd have to ask your Mom."

"Well, can we get pizza for dinner?"

"I think Mom already got you something for dinner." Derek replied

"I don't want that..." Dawsyn groaned as they pulled up in front of the apartment.

"You don't even know what she got you." Derek rolled his eyes as he parked the car.

"I want pizza."

"Get your bags."

"Fine." Dawsyn groaned, getting out of the car. "Can you get my pillow?"

"I've got it." Derek said, closing the car door.

"…we went on a ghost hunt and Quinton kept trying to scare me." Dawsyn replied.

"Who is this Quinton?" Derek teased.

"Just a boy." Meredith groaned, noticing Meredith's car. "Ugh...Mommy's home?"

"Yes Dawsyn." Derek replied, unlocking the door with the key Meredith had given him earlier.

"Crap."

"Dawsyn."

"What?"

"Be nice." Derek said, as they entered the apartment.

"I'll think about it." Dawsyn sighed, sitting her bags down.

"Dawsyn...is that you?" Meredith walked into the entryway, smiling weakly. "Hi...'

"Hi." Dawsyn rolled her eyes.

"Did you have fun?" Meredith asked, playing with her watch.

"I'm not talking to you."

"Right..." Meredith nodded.

"Dawsyn, your mom asked you a question." Derek warned.

"And I'm not talking to her."

"Answer the question."

"It was fine." Dawsyn groaned, dropping her bags on the floor.

"Good..." Meredith looked at Derek nervously. "Um...I have pasta for dinner with that marinara sauce you like. I didn't even mess it up because Derek helped."

"I want pizza." Dawsyn repeated again,

"I said no, Dawsyn." Derek replied.

"I don't want pasta...not pasta Mommy made." Dawsyn whined.

"Then, I guess you're not eating."

"I want pizza!"

"Dawsyn...I told you no. That's the end of it." Derek groaned.

"Derek we can get pizza...she's just tired and cranky." Meredith murmred, looking down.

"No...It's not okay." Derek said, turning to Dawsyn." Your mom spent the time to make pasta for you because she knows you like it, the least you can do is thank her."

"But I don't want pasta, I want pizza."

"Dawsyn...fine..we'll get pizza." Meredith groaned.

"Will you at least thank her for making something you like?" Derek repeated.

"No." Dawsyn shook her head.

"Then, I guess you're not getting pizza."

"Derek..." Meredith interrupted.

"What?" Derek sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

"She doesn't want pasta...she's mad so it's fine...my fault."

"No. It's not fine."

"Derek, can you order my pizza?" Dawsyn asked him innocently.

"Are you ready to talk to your mother?" Derek asked.

"I'm not talking to her." Dawsyn groaned.

"Then go upstairs and unpack and when you're ready to eat, your pasta is down here." Derek told her.

"No..." Dawsyn whined.

"Daws...we should talk." Meredith said, her eyes stuck on Derek's. They had to talk; Derek knew that. They had to talk.

"Talk to your mom and you'll have pizza." Derek sighed.

"No!"

"Then, go to your room."

"No"! Dawsyn stomped her foot.

"Dawsyn..." Meredith frowned.

"If you're interested in ever going camping again, I suggest you listen." Derek said calmly.

"I don't want to talk to Mom...she's mean!"

"Then, go to your room!"

"Derek...I don't want to! I want to eat pizza and watch The Princess Diaries."

"Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to."

"Derek this is my fault." Meredith whispered, her eyes red. "We should just give her what she..."

"I'm going to go into the kitchen and put away the food that your Mom made for you. And if you're not talking to her by the time I come back...there's no movie, or pizza." Derek said, looking at Dawsyn.

"I'm ordering pizza." Dawsyn put her hands on her hip.

"Oh really? And how are you going to pay for it?"

"You or Mommy."

"Dawsyn...let's just talk. We have to...you and me." Meredith whispered.

"You go into the living room and talk to your mom, and they'll be a pizza waiting for you when you're done. How does that sound?" Derek said.

"And then can Mommy leave me alone?" Dawsyn asked.

"Yes."

"Fine." Dawsyn groaned.

"Thank you." Derek said, patting her on the head as he left to go into the kitchen.

"I'll be just a second Dawsyn." Meredith whispered, turning and following Derek.

"Fine." Dawsyn repeated, sitting down on the couch.

"I knew I would mess her up." Meredith ran her hands over her face as she met Derek in the small kitchen.

"She's just stubborn...like you." Derek said, pulling her into his arms.

"She's me...one hundred percent me at eleven

"And she's waiting to talk to you."

"I deserved that."

"No you didn't." He whispered.

"I took away something that was hers...I deserved that."

"Meredith, please...don't keep doing this yourself." Derek said, rubbing her back.

"Hmm..."

"Go in there and talk to her."

"Okay...talk...we have to so I'm...I can do this."

"You can do this." He smiled, kissing her lightly.

"Derek..." Meredith gasped, hitting him lightly as she looked around. "You can't just do that..."

"What?" Derek frowned.

"Dawsyn could have walked in and she would have seen us." Meredith pulled away.

"I...Sorry..."

"She could have seen us."

"What if she did?"

"I don't even...bad because she would want to know and ask questions."

"I just...Go talk to her and we can talk about this later."

"Right." Meredith nodded.

"You can do this." Derek repeated, lightly squeezing her hand, quickly letting go.

"Hmm...I'm not so sure." Meredith backed up, stopping, turning around to face him. "You know...that raising your voice thing...very sexy."

"Really?" He smirked.

"We can...discuss that later." She giggled weakly.

"Go..Hurry." He laughed.

"Right..." Meredith breathed, her smile fading as she left the kitchen, walking in the living room to find her daughter watching cartoons. Crap. She could do this. She had to. "Dawsyn..."

"Can we get this over with?" Dawsyn groaned.

"Yes." Meredith swallowed.

"I'm listening."

"Dawsyn..." Meredith bit her lip. She had to do this, she needed to fix this. She just had to. "I'm sorry."

"So?"

"I just...I made a mistake; a huge mistake. I was young and one day when you're older, you won't make the same mistakes I did." Meredith moved to sit on the couch. "Even if you did...I would love you the same."

"I don't have a dad because of you." Dawsyn said quietly.

"I know...and that's my fault."

"I'm really mad at you."

"I'm sorry Dawsyn."

"Why don't I have a dad?" Dawsyn asked, looking up at Meredith.

"Dawsyn, there are things you won't understand and that you shouldn't understand until you're older, but I made mistakes...huge mistakes." Meredith frowned. "The mistakes I made...they were bad, and I was scared."

"What did you do?"

"Dawsyn, I could tell you these things but as your mother...you're too young. I'll tell you I did things that were very bad for me."

"Like having me..." Dawsyn whispered.

"No." Meredith breathed, a small smile coming across her lips. She could do this. "I think that was the best thing I ever did for me."

"Really?"

"Really." Meredith nodded. "I um...when I found out I was pregnant...I was so scared Daws. I wasn't ready and I was not very mature...I was so scared."

"But you still had me."

"I did."

"Mommy?"

"Yeah?" Meredith whispered.

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?"

"Derek said I was being mean to you."

"I...you were."

"I'm sorry."

"Oh Dawsyn..." Meredith whispered." I'm sorry too."

"Everybody else has a Daddy except me...I was jealous."

"I know...and you deserve a Dad." Meredith whispered.

"Will I ever have one?"

"Dawsyn..."

"Cuz I like Derek."

"What?" She whispered.

"Derek would be a good Daddy." Dawsyn replied.

"Oh..." Meredith frowned. "I...Dawsyn that's..."

"Except he yelled at me before."

"He does that because he cares about you and me."

"He yells at you?"

"Well...no..."

"Mommy...Can I ask you something?"

"Sure..." Meredith whispered.

"Do you remember me when I was a baby?"

"I do." Meredith slightly smiled.

"What was I like?" Dawsyn smiled.

"You were very happy...kind of impossible...cute."

"Did I look like you?"
"Hmm..." Meredith bit her lip. "You did..."

"That's good." Dawsyn sighed. "But...Can we have pizza now?"

"In a few." Meredith bit her lip, before moving closer to her daughter. She could do this. "You know...I picked out Dawsyn especially for you."

"Really?"

"Yeah I did..." Meredith smiled. "I had a friend and I named her after you."

"Was she nice?"

"She was...she was the first person to meet you." Meredith explained.

"Really?" Dawsyn smiled.

"Yep." Meredith giggled." And when you were a baby...you used to love dancing with me...I would put on music and dance with you."

"That's funny." Dawsyn giggled.

"When we first moved here to Seattle...we met George, Izzie, and Alex...George bought you your first candy cane at Christmas."

"Candy canes are my favorite."

"I know."

"I wish we had some."

"In a few months." Meredith reminded her. "Dawsyn...I know you deserve to know who your Dad is...and you deserve to have him here...and I'm always going to be sorry."

"I forgive you." Dawsyn whispered.

"Hmm...I'm glad."

"Can we eat now? I'm starving."

"Okay." Meredith whispered.

"How's it going in here?" Derek smiled, leaning against the doorway.

"You want to tell him Daws Bug?"

"We're sorry." Dawsyn told him.

"Dawsyn...why don't you go take a bath and Derek and I...will order dinner and set up, okay?"

"Okay." Dawsyn smiled, kissing Meredith's cheek before running up the stairs.

"That went better then I planned." Meredith looked at him oddly as she stood up.

"I told you." He smiled, walking over to her and hugging her.

"I think my daughter...is crazy about you." Meredith whispered, wrapping her arms around her neck as she heard her daughter close the upstairs bathroom door.

"I'm crazy about her too."

"I might be a little crazy about you too."

"Hmm...Good."

"My daughter takes really long baths." Meredith giggled.

"What are you implying?" Derek laughed.

"I'm implying that I want you to have me against the kitchen counter."

"I think...that can be arranged." He smiled, picking her up.

"Derek!" She giggled.

"Kitchen...Right now."

"Kitchen..." She laughed infectiously, as he carried her into the kitchen. Without him she wasn't sure she could have talked to her daughter. She would have let her daughter ignore her until she had come to her, but with Derek she had her daughter back. With Derek she felt kind of whole, like maybe they were on a path to something great.


Sorry guys, recently some tragic events have happened in my family. This is why I have taken a small hiatus in writing I hope you guys understand. I will do my best to post more consistently. However I can't promise anything as of yet.