Be Deductive

The mid-afternoon sun shined brightly upon the city of Bludhaven. Not a cloud in sight. Streets were clear. Office employees typed furiously away at their computers. A quiet random day really. A man holding a duffle bag stopped at a street corner. A car with two others picked him up.

High up in the building, someone smashed the window glass and aimed a large grapple gun at the building across. A zipline was created. Down along the rope went a duffle bag and two men in grotesque clown masks.

Back down in the car, all three men wore similar masks. The man in the back checked and loaded his gun.

"Two guys on the roof. Every guy gets a share. Five shares are plenty," the driver recapped.

"Six shares. Don't forget boss man," the passenger next to him reminded.

"He thinks he can still sit it out and take a slice?" the driver groaned.

"What's he calling himself again?"

"I don't wanna get into it. Man thinks he can steal a schtick from one of the most famous criminals in Gotham? Look let's just get this over with and collect our money."

"I couldn't agree more," the man in the back replied coldly.

Back up on the roof, the two men were hastily smashing the lock to a circuit board.

"Y'know he wears make up?" one thug asked.

"Hey man. It's 2017. Guys can wear make up if they like," his partner replied.

"No no he wears it like war paint. To scare people."

"Really? Well, I mean, I guess he does look pretty frightening."

"And those scars. Ugh. Nasty shit man."

"Why would he do that to himself?"

"Don't ask him."

"Huh?"

"Don't ask him cuz he'll tell ya."

Down below, the three clowns arrived at the front door of the Bludhaven City Bank. They stormed the doors and began firing their guns in the air. All the bank patrons froze in terror as they watched the robbers enter the main hall. A security guard tried to pull out a radio, but one of the clowns smashed the underside of his pistol into the guard's head knocking him out cold.

"Alright everyone, hands up, heads down!" the driver clown ordered, "I said hands up, heads down!"

He approached a teller counter and pulled the scared man across the table.

"Let's go old man, I'm making a withdrawal here!"

On the roof, the pair of clowns were just about to finish cutting all power to the alarms.

"Here comes the silent alarm annnnnd there it goes," one clown said, "Huh? That's odd. It wasn't going to the cops. It was trying to reach a private number."

"Is that going to be a problem?" his partner asked.

"Nah I'm done here…..AHHH"

*BANG*

Swiftly, the partner fired a bullet into the hacker's head and moved on to the next phase of the plane. He busted open a roof access down and climbed down the stairwell carrying a duffle bag full of supplies. Eventually he reached the bank's main vault. Two feet of reinforced steel and 5,000 volts were all that separated him from nearly five hundred million dollars. Outside, he could hear his partners barking out orders to the hostages.

"Stay on the ground! I said stay on the ground!" one of the clowns yelled out.

*BANG*

The driver clown and the man he picked up from the street corner whipped their heads around and immediately ducked for cover. One of the bank executives had pulled out a shotgun and killed one of the clown robbers already.

*BANG BANG BANG*

Round after round came flying out of the executive's shotgun as the robbers moved from table to table finding cover.

"You have any idea who you're stealin' from? You and your friends are DEAD!" the executive screamed out.

"He's out, right?" the driver clown asked.

The quiet partner looked like he was counting and then nodded. The driver got up to aim his pistol, but the executive fired another round just barely missing the clown. Quickly, the quiet clown got up and unloaded his pistol into the executive causing him to collapse on the spot.

"Where the hell did you learn to count? Jesus!" the driver got up.

The quiet one ignored him as the driver went to meet up with the vault cracker.

"Goddamn this thing is insane. What kinda bank wires up their vault with over 5000 volts?" the safe cracker asked.

"They didn't tell you? We robbin the big man today."

"Shit. Thank fuck we're wearing masks then. No way to ID."

"Whatever. You get it open?"

"Yup. All good on my end."

"Say, where's the alarm guy?"

"Boss told me to take him out when he finished. One less share, right?"

"…..Funny. He told me something similar"

*BANG*

Before any reply could be made, the driver shot the safe cracker point blank dead. He kicked the body aside and pulled the vault door open revealing stacks and stacks of cash. Immediately, he began shoving all the bills into duffle bags. In the end, the remaining two clowns pulled together eight bags filled to the brim with cash.

"Y'know. If the boss man was smart, he'd had us bring a bigger car. This is a lot of money."

The quiet one just shrugged. As he turned away, the driver cocked his gun and pointed it at the other robber.

"I'm guessing he told you to kill me soon as we loaded the cash?" the driver asked.

"No no. I'm supposed to kill the bus driver," the quiet one answered raising his hands.

Slowly the quiet one stepped to the side as the driver followed suit to where the driver's back now faced the front doors.

"Bus driver?" the driver asked, "What bus driver?"

*SMASH*

Suddenly a bright yellow school bus crashed through the wall with its back end crushing the unaware clown robber. The back door opened and yet another clown robber popped out.

"School's out. Time to get," he chuckled, "Phoo boy he's not getting up, is he?"

The quiet one ignored the bus driver and just threw him a duffle bag of money for him to load.

"Shit that's a lot of money," the bus driver exclaimed.

With all the bags filled, the bus driver looked around and realized there weren't any other clowns.

"What happened to the rest of the guys?" he asked

The quiet one yet again ignored the bus driver and instead pointed his pistol and shot him dead. The executive covered in blood lifted his head up and called out to the remaining robber.

"Think your smart, do ya?" he stuttered gurgling his own blood, "The guy that hired you? He'll just kill ya like your buddies killed each other. Oh, criminals in this town used to have a sense of class and subtly. And yet here you are smashing through walls with a bus. THIS AIN'T GOTHAM Y'KNOW! There used to be honor and respect. Look at you in your cheap purple suit and ugly Halloween store mask. What do you believe in, huh? WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?!"

Annoyed, the last clown robber approached the screaming dying man. He knelt down and shoved a smoke grenade into the executive's mouth to shut him up. The robber leaned in close to the bloodied bank employee and took off his mask. Underneath revealed hair dyed a deep green. The man wore some white make up and black eyeliner that was starting to smudge due to his sweat. Bright red lipstick covered his mouth and went across his cheek ear-to-ear covering some grotesque poorly healed scars.

"I believe," the robber began, "that whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you…..stranger."

The robber casually arose and climbed into the bus. As he drove away, a long string pulled the pin on the smoke grenade causing it to blow smoke all over the main hall. Outside, the bus merged into the street shaking of all the excess dust and rubble. A few turns later, it joined a sea of other school buses waiting to pick up the children from a long day at school.


One Hour Later

"This is the fourth bank they've hit this week!" Detective Boyle exclaimed.

"Fourth in Bludhaven. Three were also hit over in Gotham," Detective Santiago added.

"This has to be the Joker. It's all the same M.O. Clown masks. It's obvious," Detective Diaz concluded.

"I dunno, Rosa. Something feels fishy about all this," Detective Peralta disagreed.

"I'm with Peralta. What's the point of robbing all these banks?" Detective Grayson pondered.

"Uhhh to get rich?" Rosa argued.

"Right, but why these banks specifically? Also, the equipment they were using were high tech drills. Those aren't easy to find," Dick wondered.

Detective Peralta walked about the crime scene and scratched his head looking at the bodies on the floor and the giant hole in the wall.

"We've got four dead clowns down here and another on the roof. I know the clown schtick feels like Joker, but my gut tells me something else. It almost feels like they want us to think Joker did this," Jake thought out loud.

"This case has become bigger than all of us at this moment," Captain Holt's voice boomed through the main hall, "We'll have to work with Commissioner Gordon and the GCPD to get to the bottom of this. They have experience with the Joker. They could provide great insight."

"But sir," Dick argued, "We're not sure this is Joker's doing."

"Even so, someone who's dealt with the Joker can provide a unique perspective. Squad, this case is top priority. We have to resolve this as quickly as possible," Holt ordered.


Later That Night, Somewhere in Bludhaven

"Y'know, I feel like Bruce skimped out on you here," Zatanna complained, "I mean seriously? A rando warehouse? And these beds? How are these any comfortable?"

"Look, Bruce doesn't have as much pull here. Rando Wayne Enterprise construction in Gotham? No one bats an eye. Bludhaven? People start asking questions. Besides, we're probably never gonna sleep here," Dick reassured her.

"Still though, I feel like he coulda shelled out a bit more for his son's new HQ. The fanciest thing we got here is a loft and some couches. It almost feels like he splurged on the new TV up there!"

"I mean, I don't really need much. I just need local access to Batcomputer and Justice League servers. And a Zeta tube access point."

Of course, Dick was downplaying his annoyance slightly. The warehouse Bruce had bought was very bare bones. In the corner were three computer screens that did in fact give Dick access to the Batcomputer and Justice League systems. There were a few twin-sized beds scattered around. Some stairs led to a loft which held a makeshift living room area with couches, a chess table, and indeed a new flat screen TV. Rounding out the layout was a Zeta tube in the corner near the bathroom and shower.

"At least this dump is close to our place. You wouldn't have to swing across town just to use the computer," Zatanna said.

"Yea that was part of the reason for this place," Dick said as he sat down and pulled up security footage of the latest bank robbery.

Zatanna approached behind him as he scrolled through the tapes.

"What are you looking for?" she asked.

"Peralta mentioned earlier today that this felt too obvious. Like someone wanted us to think this was Joker's doing."

"Has Joker escaped Arkham?"

"No. Gordon said he's still in his cell. The Commish checked personally. Besides, aside from the clown masks, this is definitely not a Joker crime."

"What do you mean?"

"Joker is never subtle. Everything he does, he does for attention. He wouldn't just leave dead robbers in clown masks. He'd leave calling cards, traces, easy-to-find clues. He wants people or more specifically Batman to know what he's done," Dick rattled off.

"Ahhh that's true. Man's got that insatiable need for flair."

"Exactly," Dick agreed, "Not only that, but this is also somehow both clunky and too well thought out."

"Ok now you've lost me, babe," Zatanna raised her eyebrow in confusion.

"This plan just feels too brutish. Cut the alarm and charge in demanding money. Where's the punchline? Where's the joke? Everything Joker does has a message. What's the message here? But at the same time, this person clearly instructed these guys to kill each other. The crime scene showed no stray bullet marks except those shotgun shells from that executive. Which means, all the dead robbers were snuck up on. So killing these robbers leaving only one remaining was part of the big plan. But why? Joker's a homicidal maniac but he also knows it's hard to find good help. Why waste these guys and go through the whole recruitment process all over again? He doesn't care to get to know people. It's why he's never noticed there are two Harleys switching back and forth."

As Dick continued down his stream of consciousness, Zatanna couldn't help but stare at him with admiration (and a little lust). His brow furrowed as he rested his chin on his fist. The lights from the computer screen lit up his chiseled jaw and crinkling eyes. Smiling, she licked her lips and hugged him tightly from behind.

"Hehe what are you doing?" Dick chuckled.

"You're really sexy when you're being all detective-like and walking through a case," she whispered in his ear before kissing his cheek, "Watching you and your big brain work really turns me on."

She nuzzled his cheek and took a big whiff of his minty aftershave.

"Zee, I've got to work hehe," he lightly scolded.

"I know…..but we really should test out the springs on the beds we have in here so we can ask Bruce for new ones."

"Ok…" Dick rolled his eyes playing along, "And what ingenious idea did you have for that purpose?"

"Well for starters," she teased biting his ear, "it involves taking off all our clothes."

*RING RING*

The computer alarm blared jolting the couple slightly.

"Oh Goddammit really?!" Zatanna whined.

"Sorry, Zee. Duty calls."

"This better be important."

"Actually, it probably is. Witnesses reported a possible drug deal going down at the Parks Mall parking garage? Well, that's new."

"Ugh fine. C'mon, let's go get the bad guys."

"Let's? As in we?" Dick asked.

"Yes, we! I'm coming with."

"Uhh I mean, you don't have to. It'll be quick. I'll take them down and be home by dinner."

"Babe, I'm incredibly horny and these assholes are currently depriving me of sexy time with you. As such, I reaaally need to kick their asses. You gonna stand in my way when I really need to vent my frustrations?"

"….No ma'am."


Parks Mall Parking Garage Level 5

A white van waited patiently in the corner of the parking level as two black SUVs with tinted windows arrived. The cars were parked on opposite sides of the level to afford some space between them. Emerging from the black SUVs were men in leather jackets and sport coats and a pair of German shepherds. Their leader wore a gold chain around his neck.

"It is getting late," the leader spoke in a thick Russian accent, "Boris wishes to make this quick so Boris can have hot plate of uh….what you Americans call it? Nachos!"

From the white van, a smaller group of henchmen emerged along with a man in a yellow quilted jacket and a cowboy hat. His partner stood by him in his own green jacket.

"There a reason you wanted to meet, Boris?" the man in the cowboy hat asked.

"Bring him out," Boris ordered.

The Russian men pulled out a drug addict from the SUV. His eyes were lidded, and drool was dripping out the side of his mouth. The Russians threw him into the middle ground where the poor guy started spouting nonsense.

"Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter! Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter!" he screamed out.

"You see this?" Boris pointed to the crazed addict, "Look what you've done to this boy!"

"Well hold on now, Boris. We said the product would take you places. Of course, the place you end up at may or may not be pleasant. That just depends on the person."

"NO WAIT," the addict interrupted, "Yall don't fuck with Vietnamese Jesus! Vietnamese Jesus be drippin with swag. Korean Jesus can't hold a candle to Vietnamese Jesus!"

"You see, Tex? You see what this whifee or whyfoo does to people My customers!? How you expect me to generate any business?" Boris argued.

"WHYPHY," Tex corrected, "Work Hard? Yes! Play Hard? Yes! That's the name of the drug."

"What happened to HFS? HFS was good shit! Boris liked HFS!"

"HFS is no longer in production," Gargan in the green jacket answered, "Due to circumstances, we've had to switch formulas. Set up new production lines."

"Shut up Gargan! TMI!" Tex snapped.

"C'mon Herman. Man asked a legitimate question."

"Wait. Boris thought your name was Tex. Are you not from Texas?" the Russian asked.

"Actually, he's from Florida," Gargan answered.

"Well then why in fuck you call yourself Tex?" Boris asked confused.

"Sometimes we call him Montana," Gargan added.

"ENOUGH!" Tex/Montana/Herman yelled.

In the midst of all this arguing, one by one, Boris's men were taken out. A swift shadow began smashing and knocking out the Russians who were supposed to watch the perimeter. Out of the corner of his eye, Tex spotted one of Boris's men being thrown over the wall with a rope tied to the leg. Immediately, Tex and his men drew their guns and pointed them at the shadow. Boris surprised also looked over and saw the shadow. The dogs then barked aggressively.

"My dogs are hungry!" Boris announced.

The shadow remained still. Silently watching and observing the gangs.

"Y'know, Boris has always wanted to meet the Aerial Avenger. But Boris is surprised. You are shorter than expected."

Quickly, the shadow jumped into the light and began beating down the surrounding men. The young hero in his bright red suit leapt from Russian to Russian knocking them out. Tex and his men not caring for the Russians, opened fired.

"That's not him!" Tex scowled.

"You're damn right it isn't!" the hero announced, "Name's Robin. Pleasure to kick your asses!"

With a smirk, Robin threw some birdarangs at Tex's gang disarming a few of them. However, distracted by his own showboating, Robin didn't notice the dogs charging at him. They pounced on the poor boy wonder sinking their teeth in his arm.

"Ahhhhh" Robin cried out.

Finding his bearings, Boris stood up above the current boy wonder.

"They send boy to do man's job? America is such a weird country."

Just as Boris said that, a black and blue motorcycle came crashing through the side knocking out most of Tex's men. Quickly, all parties pointed their guns at the bike, but no one was on it.

"Soggod ot seippup!" (Doggos to puppies).

In a puff of smoke, the two German Shepherds who were biting Robin turned into tiny little puppies licking his wounds.

"What the hell?" Boris looked surprised.

The lights cut out for just a second. When they turned back on, a figure in black armor with a blue emblem on his chest smashed his fist right into Boris. Behind him, a woman in fishnets and a black hooded cloak kicked another goon in the face with her heel.

"That's more like it," Tex smirked, "I'll get you this time Nightwing!"

Tex and Gargan opened fired again on the heroes but for some reason all the bullets froze in place.

"Stellub pots dna pord!" (Bullets stop and drop).

As Tex and his team unloaded all their ammo, all the bullets froze midair and then harmlessly dropped to the floor. Finished with the Russians, Nightwing flipped over towards Gargan and swung his leg around for a high kick. Gargan ducked and prepped for a counterstrike, only for Nightwing's companion to knock him out with a direct punch to the face.

Realizing he was alone Tex jumped into his van and drove off descending the parking garage.

"Tie them up and help Robin," Nightwing ordered.

"You got it. Good luck, babe!" Zatanna answered.

Sprinting, Nightwing caught up to the van before it could accelerate any further. He jumped onto the side and anchored himself with some wing-dings.

"C'mon Herman! Don't be like this. We've known each other for a while now. Pull over and let's catch up," Nightwing called out.

"Fuck you man! You've driven out nearly all the business in this city!"

"That's not true! I've only driven out the illegal businesses. What's wrong with opening a restaurant? Or selling quilts? It's gonna be winter soon. People like quilts!"

Tex pressed his foot on the gas as the van screamed down the parking garage.

"Herman, buddy, please. I don't wanna do this the hard way!" Nightwing struggled as he tried to pry open the side of the van with a cutting tool.

Now filled with fear, Herman turned the van closer to the wall. Not paying attention, Nightwing slammed into a column and was forced off the van.

"Arrhh ok, hard way it is," Nightwing groaned as he got up and rotated his arm a bit.

Watching Tex's van screeching down the spiral driveway, Nightwing climbed up onto the barrier and waited.

"One Mississippi, two Mississippi…." he counted.

Finally, he stepped off the ledge and dropped all the way down. At the last second, Tex's van appeared right under Nightwing as he crashed down on top of the van.

"You've got to be kidding me," Tex groaned.

"I warned you. There was an easy way."


Batcave

"Arghhh that stings!" Jason gritted his teeth.

"Stay still! Healing magic takes time," Zatanna scolded.

To the side, a tray of medical supplies, tea, and biscuits was gently placed on the end table near the medical bed.

"Might I take over, Ms. Zatara. I'm sure you must be exhausted after assisting Master Dick with that kerfuffle," Alfred kindly offered.

"It's ok, Alfred. I'm fine."

"Madam, I must insist. According to Master Dick neither you nor he have had anything to eat as of yet. Please have a biscuit. Then later, you two shall join us for dinner up in the manor."

"Sigh, ok. Can't argue with that. Let me at least close up these wounds a bit more."

"What in God's name attacked you so viciously, Master Jason?" Alfred asked with concern.

"It was a dog," Jason mumbled.

Alfred raised his eyebrow and looked with confusion. Jason rolled his eyes and tried to explain further.

"It was a big dog!"

"There, that's about as far as I can get it for right now," Zatanna examined her work.

She didn't quite get the wound to close completely, but she mended it just enough for Alfred not to have to use so many stitches.

"Thanks, 'Tanna. I really appreciate it," Jason meekly smiled.

"Of course," she kissed his forehead, "All yours, Alfred."

Over by the Batcomputer, Bruce and Dick were comparing notes on the string of bank robberies by the "Joker".

"See! The process is all the same. Guys in clown masks break in, rob the place, and then kill each other leaving only one remaining," Dick pointed out.

"While I agree with you that whoever's behind this is trying to pin it on Joker, I wouldn't put it past him to fake us out by making it obvious it wasn't him to begin with."

"Bruce, that's some next level shit. You really think Joker would go that far?"

"Joker spent nearly five years pretending to be a man's friend so that he could learn all his intimate details and use them to torture that poor soul. He's crazy, but not stupid."

"The only lead we've got right now is footage from the latest robbery. The last robber takes his mask of to talk to the bank employee," Dick rewound the tape.

"It's a little obscure. But based on that hair, that definitely is not Joker."

As the robber in the recording got up to leave, Dick noticed something peculiar.

"Hang on," he typed a few keys into the computer and rewatched various security tapes on the previous robberies.

Bruce leaned forward picking up what Dick was deducing.

"Look at the mannerisms of this one robber. He's hunched over. Holds his gun shakily and freely. His gait is the same in all these robberies. And he's the only who survives," Dick explained.

"That means he's our mastermind. He actively participates in these robberies and kills everyone off ensuring that he has all the money to himself. Great work, Dick!"

"Seven banks though. That's a lot of money."

"Not just any money," Bruce explained as he typed into the computer, "The three that he's hit in Gotham were all mob banks. They housed the money of the Falcone family. I would assume the four he's robbed in Bludhaven weren't just random hits."

"They've got dirty money too."

"Precisely."

"I'm gonna need to dig into the BPD files when I get back. We need to find his next target and lay a trap."

"I believe that is a good stopping point," Alfred interrupted the duo, "Miss Diana should be arriving soon after her visit with her mother. This is an excellent opportunity for the whole family to gather for dinner."

"Alfred's right," Zatanna added, "We've all been hard at work. We should get a chance to relax a little."

"Hold on," Jason asked, "Alfred said the whole family. When did you join the family, Mrs. Grayson?"

Rolling her eyes, Zatanna lightly tapped the back of Jason's head. Alfred stifled a laugh while Bruce sent Dick a look that screamed "Did you ask yet?". Dick shrugged.

"Alright. That's enough festivities. Come come, I have a lasagna in the oven," Alfred ordered.

"Actually, Jason, can I talk to you for a second?" Dick asked.

"Uhh ok," Jason complied.

Alfred, Zatanna, and Bruce all went upstairs leaving the two brothers to themselves in the Batcave.

"What were you doing in Bludhaven?" Dick bluntly asked.

"I dunno. Gotham was quiet. I needed some action, so I thought I'd swing by your neighborhood."

"By yourself?"

"Oh don't give me that crap dude! You and Bruce solo your cities all the time!"

"That's not true."

"What do you mean!?"

"Bruce and I always have back-up at the ready. Alfred is always on comms when Bruce is out. I have Zee on call whenever I'm out and about. Heck she sometimes comes with as you saw tonight. Did Bruce or Alfred know you were going to Bludhaven?"

"Well…..no."

"Then you didn't have back-up."

"I-I'm sorry, man. I just thought we could hang out. Y'know kick bad guy butt together."

"And I'm happy to do that with you. Just give me a heads-up next time, ok?"

"Yea, ok. Gonna be honest, I thought Bruce would wanna lay into me after tonight."

"Oh, he did. But I talked him out of it. Dude, he was pissed."

"Really? Seems like he's always angry with me."

"He's angry because he cares. He just wants you to be safe. If it were any other random schmuck he wouldn't yell as much."

"Yea I guess."

"And so, before we go get a nice steaming piece of lasagna, what have we learned?"

"Sigh, don't go out by myself, especially with no back up."

"Exactly. We wouldn't want you getting kidnapped or worse…killed."

AN: So...it's probably super obvious how this next arc is gonna play out haahh. I'm actually really excited for how this will all turn out. It may feel predictable, but I'll try my best to spin it slightly for some fun. Hope yall are still enjoying the read!