A/N: This might be crap as I've been writing all night but here we go!
Song is Never Come Back Again – Austin Plaine
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Disclaimers:
I own none of the Teen Titans and none of the songs.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Turning for coffee instead of the tower ended up turning into deciding to go inside and sit down because he really wanted to "talk about that one scene in Black Narcissus because I totally forgot to tell you what I realized." And that turned into taking another turn into the farmers market because he remembered strawberries (her favourite) were in season and wouldn't those be great with the waffles? Which turned into "let's take our time and walk around a bit more because remember the last time we found that honey stall and I noticed you were running low on honey." And so, they kept turning and turning and turning.
And now she was seated at the kitchen table, completely raw and exposed with no book, watching him sing and dance around the kitchen making them lunch. As much as she selfishly was enjoying being the center of his attention at the moment, she couldn't help but acknowledge that maybe he was dragging this out. She heard track 3 play out from the stereo in the living room.
I wanna see the world
I wanna know what it feels like to
Never come back again
I wanna feel the waves
Crushin' down on heartache
I wanna find the key to the sky
And never come back again
Looking her way with a sudden glint in his eye, he meandered over to grab her by the hands and started whirling her around the kitchen. While normally she would have growled, glowed and tossed, the sadness seeping out of him kept her silent and she let him lead her around. Okay so it also may have been Ludus living out some schoolgirl fantasy, but she decided just to dig her heels even further into denial. And regardless she knew he was hurting. His eyes were closed, and she was pressed up against him, one hand in his and the other resting on his chest. With his other hand gripping her waist gently he jokingly continued to twirl Raven around and around the room.
I wanna find my love
Lose myself in passion
I wanna love her in my heart
And never come back again
"Beast Boy".
He kept twirling
"Beast Boy!"
He stopped, both of them standing in each other's arms in front of the large bay windows.
"It's going to be fine"
She felt her heart break in half as she saw the look on his face, it brought her right back to the first time they all met the Doom Patrol. When he put that stupid mask back over his head and started running into the forest after his adopted family. She remembers this look; it snuck out after he tried to fool them with a smile and a "Don't worry guys I'll be fine".
She told herself that's the only reason she held the hug for so long, the only reason she felt her arms grip just a little too tight around him before he gave her a half-hearted smile, turned and then walked away.
Raven suddenly felt very cold.
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She didn't move from her spot on the couch, despite all remaining members of the Titans silently freaking out over the fact that she wasn't even pretending to read. She wasn't even pretending to meditate. She was just staring.
Staring and waiting, staring and waiting and glancing at the DVD sitting patiently on the coffee table. But it was all alone, not surrounded by snacks like it normally would be. And it wasn't surrounded by warmth, his warmth, as it should be. As she should be. Urgh. She was too frustrated and worried to even lie to herself anymore.
Where was he.
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Raven woke up the next morning, tense and moody. She had waited till almost midnight, till Cyborg gently pulled her up off the couch and guided her to her bedroom. He squeezed her shoulder, giving her an empathetic look. She had been too despondent to even pretend she hadn't wanted it.
Looking briefly at the clock, she realized she had slept in three hours longer than normal and started making her way to the common room, trying to see if she could sense his aura.
But she didn't have to try long because when the door opened, he was the first thing she saw, leaning against the counter arms crossed. Her heart jumped and she was pretty sure her eyes had just completely sold her out.
It was tense when she walked in, especially because everyone was already there, and they all looked as miserable as she felt.
"What's going on". It was addressed to everyone, but she was looking right at him.
"Mento wants me to come back to the Doom patrol for a bit, not permanently, but for kinda a little bit of time."
"How much time?"
"Maybe a year, maybe a bit more."
Something snapped inside her. It felt like her heart suddenly shattered and she was overcome with a chill that could have frozen the blood in her veins. The only thing she could do is shut herself down and then sit herself down at the table.
Conversation around her moved like busy commuters shifting in and out of trains. But she was glued to her seat, her words unable to join them.
"You know no matter what you want to do, we got you B. But we ain't even going to pretend we wouldn't miss you half to death."
Was he seriously even considering this? Her head felt hot, anger catching itself in her throat and she tried to breath.
"Friend Beast Boy I would be most sad if you left us, but if this is something you really must do.
Was he seriously fucking considering this?
"Logistically it would be really hard on the team, but you know we'll do everything we can to make this work for you."
I'll promise I will never leave again. What a fucking joke. It was rage now, full and furious.
"Leave, stay… I don't care either way."
It was if they were suddenly on one of those rides at the fair, where you're quickly shot up high and dropped just as fast. Everyone now felt like they'd been dropped into this space from 500 ft up. Cyborg felt his stomach twist.
But no one was hurt the way he was, she could see it in his eyes. But she didn't care she had to leave, she had to get to her room now. Because everything was falling apart around her. Because she had suddenly been thrown out of the sun and back into her cold dark cave, a cave she would have never even registered as such if he hadn't pulled her out of it. And now he was talking it all with him, leaving her there again. Only this time she didn't want to be in the dark. She didn't want to be in the cold.
She got up, turned around and walked calmly and normally out of the hall and headed back to her room. It was only once she knew she was out of earshot, his earshot, that she quickened her pace.
She started counting to ten, over and over again to try and keep it together till she reached those cold metal doors.
Whoosh. Salvation. Whoosh.
Once the door was closed, she leaned back against it and slumped to the floor. And then the tears came, and her magic flickered and swirled around her room knocking things over and encompassing them in black. But all she could do was sit, and cry, and try to find solace in her obsidian blanket.
She knew this time he wouldn't come knocking at her door to see if she was okay.
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Oh the angst! But yay for the plot starting to take shape. There's a very small chance I will update some more chapters tomorrow! Despite the fact that I really did just upload five chapters in one night.
Whoops. Sorry homework.
There will be a happy ending though promise
XO ES. 2.0
