Shahryar - Tenko x Awoo :3 Best (and, certainly, the purest of my many ships). And yes, Beast's situation is hilarious xD
James Birdsong - Yay indeed :D
Naruto30 - They are a separate class, remember. And, unfortunately, we also have Aiko's class to showcase first. Don't worry, it's worth waiting :D
(***)
Chapter 11: Chapter in which the running theme is people shouting at each other for a variety of reasons, and Rabbit's certainly the weirdest
Four villains were garrisoning the main staircase, the elevators being already sabotaged by someone - all three of them were cut off and, after a varied length of freefall (while completely empty) crashed into the ground floor.
The heroes engaged them in combat a moment after En valiantly dashed through their positions before attacking the scariest looking villain and pushing her away (it really wasn't hard to figure out who was the scariest one, after all, she looked like Miruko).
It started as a shouting match.
"ARE 'YA WINNING HEROES?!" A girl with bi-coloured hair and a lot of accessories (plus a colourful combat vest, camouflage clearly wasn't an option there) yells down the stairwell, through a facemask acting as a voice amplifier.
Several of the heroes in question actually trip on the stairs, their sense of balance thrown into chaos by the quirk that they were just hit with. Others have to grab the railings to avoid the same fate.
This answers the unspoken question that En had while passing by - namely why the hell was everyone among the villains wearing headphones - they were noise-canceling headphones.
Oh, he was a veteran. He assumed that the one NOT wearing headphones was the reason for that. It turned out that Rini Akaguro simply looked forward to enjoying fighting in the state of dizziness to make things more challenging.
Miyuki Tagawa's headphones were the ones that weren't noise-canceling ones, En clearly fell for Rabbit's plot.
(***)
"Another fight starts!" Present Mic announces loudly, completely ignoring the moral implications of being a voluntary commentator on a public event composed of very young adults hurting and injuring each other like it was the Hunger Games. "And I already see something I like! Is that a fellow voice quirk user my eyes spy?"
"Correct, but also an understatement." Mr. Compress helpfully replies. "Her quirk makes every part of her body poisonous in a variety of ways. Chemical burns on skin contact, deadly neurotoxin in her nails, her breath is a knockout gas… and, as we can see, her voice causes dizziness, nausea, headaches and, sometimes, even hallucinations."
Present Mic wheezes loudly. Yeah, that's a powerful quirk alright. And very, very useful in heroics. Which, similarly, makes it very useful in villainy.
(***)
Unfortunately for the villains, it's not like they had a monopoly on competent people. It wasn't even about people like En, whose two decades of practical experience as a hero together with a partial OFA-boost amounting to about 25% of the whole thing made him a comparatively broken character.
No, other heroes also had something resembling a fighting spirit. And a lot of motivation to do their stuff thanks to Aizawa making it clear that if they fail in this exercise badly it might ruin their future.
As a result, less than five seconds after Mr. Compress finishes his explanation of Miyuki Tagawa (villain/hero name Toxicity)'s quirk, she is suddenly blasted by an amplified soundwave from Kyoka Jirou.
In order to let her fire up the stairwell with perfect trajectory, Mezo Shoji is holding her in the middle of said stairwell with his rather muscular hands, the man missing his ears so that he isn't as influenced by the soundwaves.
Kyoka Jirou is completely undaunted by her legs dangling over at least a dozen floor high abyss. Mezo Shoji is looking up with eyes on the stalks to make sure to pull her back if someone above had a projectile quirk.
The heroes manage to advance for a few steps each, Toxicity's quirk temporarily negated, but that's when things get hairy.
"A VOICE QUIRK USER WITH A MUSCULAR BOYFRIEND?!" Toxicity yells from above, everyone was struck with dizziness again. "STOP STEALING MY SHTICK!"
A voice wave blasts back, clearing the malignant influences of her quirk, allowing heroes to once again try to rush up the stairs.
"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!" Jirou yells back. Shoji, due to a terminal lack of ears, has no idea what's happening at all. He dutifully continues to hold her up in the air while being on guard for a potential attack from above. "I DIDN'T STEAL SHIT!"
"OH REALLY?!" Toxicity yells back. Naturally, everyone in the stairwell is dizzy and nauseous once again. "AND THAT MASSIVE MOUNTAIN OF MUSCLES JUST RANDOMLY AGREED TO HOLD YOU LIKE THAT AND BE INCREDIBLY GENTLE AND WHOLESOME ABOUT IT?! I'M SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE IT?!"
A blast back. Everyone in the stairwell starts being reaaaaally tired of it.
"JUST HOW FUCKING INSECURE DO YOU HAVE TO BE?!" Jirou shouts back.
"I'M NOT FUCKING INSECURE!" Toxicity yells back. "A VOICE QUIRK USER WITH AESTHETICS BASED ON MODERN MUSIC BANDS AND WITH A GENTLE GIANT OF A BOYFRIEND WAS A PERFECT AESTHETIC FOR A HERO CAREER! AND YOU JUST FUCKING STOLE IT FROM ME!"
"HE IS NOT MY GODDAMN BOYFRIEND!" Jirou yells back after clearing the residue of her yet another attack. "AND I…" She actually glances at Shoji for a two or three seconds, Tentacole giving her a questioning look. But then she looks back at Toxicity. "... AND I CERTAINLY DON'T HAVE A THING FOR GENTLE GIANTS FOR WHOM I CAN SING AND PLAY INSTRUMENTS WHILE KNOWING THAT EACH AND EVERY WORD OF THEIR PRAISE IS ACTUALLY SOMETHING I TRULY EARNED BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO KIND TO LIE!"
"THAT WAS WAY TOO SPECIFIC AND YOU'RE FUCKING BLUSHING RIGHT NOW YOU BITCH!" Toxicity yells back.
(***)
"Well, errr, your students are very, err…" Present Mic tries to find a way to summarize the mess that they were all seeing.
"... in detention." Eraserhead comments dryly. "They are very in detention for being utterly illogical in the middle of a fight."
"... do you want to talk about your phase?" Present Mic decides to ask because honestly, it feels a bit too… strict.
"...do you want to be found dead with a clarinet up your nostril?" Eraserhead asks even more dryly.
"You know what, fine." Present Mic shrugs. That's when the situation at the stairwell changes rapidly.
(***)
There were two former OFA Holders present during the first battle. The other one was Hikage Shinomori, the man who realized the dream of generations of teenagers by weaponizing anxiety.
Right now, seeing as Toxicity has clearly halted the heroic march upward, he decided to finally make a move. He reaches the villain level with a few quick jumps and attempts to punch Toxicity in the face. The operative word being 'attempts'.
Instead of knocking the villain out, his fist ends up hitting a wall of muscles that was standing right next to her and promptly shoved Toxicity away from harm's way.
Despite being hit by a 25% OFA punch, the man doesn't appear to have noticed it. He also immediately grabs Hikage by the neck, although surprisingly gently. Hikage finds himself dangling over the abyss, facing possibly the largest man he ever saw (in his defense, he never saw AFO in life, instead hiding in the woods the whole time he had that quirk).
Somehow, the hold is so gentle that it didn't trigger the Danger Sense. Although for some reason the quirk was now screaming at its holder.
"...mistakes were made." Shinomori admits. Despite staring death itself into the eyes, he is incredibly calm. "Could we, you know, try to talk it out?"
Oh, right. That man is wearing noise-canceling earphones. Oof.
Three seconds later Hikage Shinomori gets to witness a game of whack-a-mole from the perspective of a mole, the man's fist hitting the top of his head and sending him flying down.
(***)
"So…?" Present Mic asks, glancing at Mr. Compress.
"Takei Ryuu, aka Juggernaut." Mr. Compress replies. "Recoil-negation quirk. It negates the reaction to his own movements, meaning that for example he can punch a concrete wall for hours and with his entire strength without injuries or pain. On its own it's not that much, but his quirk reads him being punched or receiving other physical trauma as a recoil of his own movement for as long as he moves in the direction of them when the hit connects… and promptly negates them."
Present Mic wheezes again. That was a surprisingly potent application of such quirk, enough to stop a punch as powerful as… wait a second.
"Uhm, Eraserhead?" Present Mic asks. On the screen, Shinomori stops his freefall by grabbing a railing from the wrong side of it, before jumping up again, climbing the stairway up in a few jumps before clearly trying to figure Juggernaut's quirk out with numerous jabs and kicks, all while keeping Toxicity too occupied to shout so that the heroes could advance uninterrupted.. "Shinomori's file says that his quirk is Danger Sense."
"Yes, what about it?" Eraserhead asks dryly.
"How the hell does the ability to foresee attacks let you do at least a ten-meter wide vertical jump?" Present Mic asks incredulously. "And from such a position as he did that? He literally did the jump while hanging off a railing!"
"His quirk gives him anxiety so powerful that he manages to harness its power to unlock the so-called 'hysterical strength', allowing him to perform superhuman feats of strength, speed and durability." Eraserhead replies.
Mic blinks at him a few times, before deciding to answer that. He covers the mic for that.
"Shouta, that's even more bullshit than the smokescreen one." Present Mic finally says. Once again, All Might makes weird noises in the background. "There is no way that there is a quirk counselor out there that's dumb enough to think this could pass."
All for One, with a look of utmost delight, stares at All Might over Mera's head. All Might stare back, undaunted.
"Quirks are bullshit." Eraserhead shrugs. "Get over it." Present Mic should really stop caring about the individual circumstances of the students. It's as if they and their well-being were actually important to him!
(***)
As Hikage Shinomori continued to battle Toxicity and Juggernaut at one level of the stairwell, the remaining two villains quickly descended a few levels, just to be in a position to intercept the heroes before they could support Shinomori.
Ashido Mina, to her eternal disappointment and long-term trauma that would need years of therapy to fully vanish, was leading the group.
She encountered another villain wearing a bunny suit today, an absolutely voluptuous brown-haired woman with probably the biggest and yet shapely breasts that Ashido Mina ever saw in her life.
She covered herself with her acid, expecting some sort of an attack. Instead, the woman lunged forward and gave her a hug.
Ashido Mina, as a result, saw her face dissolve up close. Up very close, resulting in a horrifying shriek. She barely had the time to realize what was happening before the half-dissolved corpse in front of her punched the daylights out of her.
(***)
"Uh-oh." Present Mic gulps loudly. "I think that it's pretty great that Hound Dog was allowed to hire twenty assistants, because I could feel that quirk-related trauma from here. I really hope she'll be alright."
"If she can't stomach accidentally dissolving someone in her acid and seeing their slow and agonizing death up close…" Eraserhead replies dryly. "... I don't think she has what it takes to become a pro-hero."
Several seconds of awkward silence in the commentator's booth. Eventually, All for One leans over Eraserhead behind Present Mic's back.
"I feel like a hypocrite for asking that question…" The demon lord says. "... but who hurt you?"
"Life did." Eraserhead replies. All for One actually feels vaguely uncomfortable with the answer.
On the screen, the melted-down girl regrows her face and most of the front of her body. Even her clothes grow back, which probably saves a lot of heroes in front of her from seeing way too much.
She also engages them in combat, flanked by someone wearing a black-and-white version of Mr. Compress's villain uniform. She acts as a shield, while he vanishes and reappears at random, touching the heroes she left exposed to him with what looks like a glove with a built-in taser.
"So, completely ignoring a lifetime trauma we've just seen happen to a person that we, as teachers, were actually legally responsible for…" Present Mic decides to start the subject again. "... we have two more members of the Villain Rehab Course! What can you tell us about them?"
"The Main Trauma Dispenser's true name is Sada Kou." Mr. Compress replies. "Aka Immortal. Her quirk is called Hyper-Regeneration, and it… well, you can infer what it does from what you've already seen. Her, errr, uniform has been sewn from her own hair, which means that it regenerates too, for as long as it was damaged while on her and when she, too, was damaged at the same time."
"That's certainly useful to avoid combat striptease, a common issue with regeneration quirks." Present Mic nods thoughtfully. "Speaking off, can I infer from her outfit that…"
"Yes." Mr. Compress cuts in.
"Hot damn." Present Mic nods once more, but this time with an expression of utmost respect. "Hot damn, kid. Asa Midoriya is truly something else."
"All of Mischief's children are something else." Mr. Compress replies. "Which, probably, isn't surprising, considering what sort of sex icon that woman was during her career! I can't even say that it was 'in her prime', because it's rather clear to everyone that she aged like a fine wi…"
All for One clears his throat loudly in the background. Mr. Compress suddenly gets to see his whole life flashing before his eyes.
He forgot her husband was there, so, errr, a big oof moment. Let's ignore it completely and focus on something else.
"Anyway, the other Villain Rehab student is Non, also Miyako Sako." Mr. Compress quickly adds. "Son of an infamous and oh-so-handsome gentlemanly thief that I'm certain is everyone's favorite supervillain! I'm sure that he is watching this right now and I'm absolutely certain that daddy's super proud of his little villain's achievements!"
"Sure he is." Present Mic groans. "And, while the battle is ongoing and seems to be pretty balanced, maybe a quick peek at what the other villains are doing? Don't worry folks, you won't miss a second from the fights, we'll jump back to where we left it once we're done with our little trip!"
The look on the screen changes. It's Awoo and Decay. Facing each other, clearly waiting for pick-up and retreat from the building. The necklace is still on her neck. They are holding hands, Tenko wearing artist gloves to avoid accidentally decaying something.
"Y-you look p-pretty w-with the n-necklace." Decay says, his voice stuttering a little. Then he freaks out a little. "No, I mean, you always look pretty! The most p-pretty, you just… look m-most p-pretty e-even p-prettier now?"
Awoo blushes while looking down a little.
"T-thank you, Tenchan!" She replies. "I h-heard y-you cheer for me and… I c-could go p-plus ultra on the fight thanks t-to you! T-thank you!" The murder machine in front of her develops a blush to equal her own in that instant.
"Good god." Mr. Compress groans while pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just kiss already, dammit."
Present Mic can't agree more. He switches the camera feed to Rabbit in order to give the lovebirds some much needed privacy.
"... it's all going according to my evil plan!" Asa says loudly, before cackling evilly. The whole terror factor is severely weakened by the fact that he was sitting on Hypothermia's lap, the woman busy head patting him with a faint smile on her face.
"Hot damn, kid." Present Mic shakes his head again. There is another gorgeous woman with him in the room, the final missing member of the class. Long blond hair, another black bunny outfit. A body built at least to equal Momo Yaoyorozu.
"Heroes are trying and failing to fight through our ranks!" Asa continues to gloat. All for One feels a surge of paternal love. "Soon we'll retreat safely, with our objective in hand and no casualties whatsoever! And you know what that means? It means that I'll be a step closer to defeating my brother and proving to him that I was right! That my way of life is intrinsically superior to his own! That he is nothing more than a heathen and a natural born villain!"
"Uhm, does he mean, like, that thieves are better villains or…?" Present Mic asks in confusion, as Mr. Compress groans loudly.
"It's this again." The supervillain then adds, looking thoroughly tired. Present Mic gives him a confused look. "Wait for it."
He didn't have to wait for it for long.
"I WILL PROVE TO THE WORLD THAT IZUKU IS WRONG!" Asa shouts, Hypothermia continuing to headpat him the whole time. "I WILL PROVE TO THE WORLD THAT BIG-BREASTED GIRLS ARE THE BEST!"
"Oh." Present Mic blinks. "So that's the running theme of his harem."
In the second row of the commentator booth, All for One groans painfully, before shrinking a little under the combined gazes of All Might and Yokumiru Mera. Yeah, way to show the world the… imperfections of his parenting.
"Because think about it!" Asa continues to speak, an intensity of a mad prophet in his eyes. "Breasts are up-front! They are by their very definition a thing of honesty and common decency, why you ask? Because to see them you have to actually face someone! More than that, when you see their magnificent roundness you also get to see someone's face! And there is so much sheer beauty in the female's faces for you to gaze upon!"
He spreads his arms, as if trying to hug someone invisible.
"AND THERE IS MORE!" He shouts. Yes, Hypothermia is still head patting him, clearly used to his rants. "VERY FEW GIRLS HAVE ISSUES WHEN YOU GAZE UPON THEIR FACES! It's a sign of a wholesome compliment, of being enchanted with ones' beauty! And breasts are right next to it, meaning that they are adjacent to wholesomeness! But asses?! ASSES ARE INTRINSICALLY LEWD!"
"Well, that's a lot of … words being said." Present Mic comments before laughing nervously.
"THERE IS NOTHING WHOLESOME IN STARING AT ONE'S ASS!" Rabbit shouts again. "THERE IS NO FACE TO LOOK AT AT LEAST FROM TIME TO TIME! The ass is behind you, meaning that to stare at it is to act like a predator sneaking upon its prey! It's immoral! It's villainous! And there are so many things you could do with breasts! Caress them, fondle them, squeeze them, suck on them, freaking MOTORBOAT THEM! Just what sort of perverted degenerate one has to be to think that asses are in any way better than breasts?! How could I be a sibling of such a sicko as Izuku?! WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO DO TO PROVE HIM THAT I'M OBJECTIVELY RIGHT ABOUT… wait, what are you doing?"
"Oh, well, I lost a bet with Socchan." The not-yet-introduced member of the harem replies, her act of handing some banknotes to Hypothermia interrupted. "I bet that you wouldn't talk about breasts the whole exercise, that's all."
Rabbit gasps loudly. He looks actually horrified now.
"Oh, I'm so sorry Mieko!" He quickly says. "I didn't know that! I'm going to give you the money back, I can't have you…"
"No, no, it's alright!" Mieko replies. "It's just pocket money either way. How's preparing the next step of the plan going?" Someone's clearly trying to change the subject.
"Oh, I have everything planned for the day." Rabbit replies. "We could exit right now, but I'm just letting Rini let out some steam, since she's clearly enjoying the fight a lot. I'm currently already thinking about the next exercise."
"Well…" Mieko scratches her chin thoughtfully. "... if my knowledge is anything to go by, the second exercise of this nature should include a lot of horribly unnecessary ships used as supposed psychological warfare, which even to me appears completely dumb, and generally ruin the whole brand to the ground while ending it with a really poor plot-twist implying that none of it will ever be remembered by the participants, meaning that the whole sequel was completely unneeded even from the point of view of the characters starring in it."
Rabbit groans painfully.
"You have to stop reading My Villain Academia fanfics, Mieko." He then says. As authoritatively as someone being headpatted can be. "They are turning your brain to mush. And most of it is angsty garbage or power fantasies that somehow tend to coincide with the main character being quirkless, which painfully reminds me of my goddamn brother. Except he at least has an explanation for his apparent op-ness, which can't be said about the protagonists of said fanfics that somehow tend to cause more damage to heroes or villains than the rest of the cast combined and sometimes even end up battling the main antagonist or that All Might-stand in like equals, for no logical reason."
"Hey, it's not that bad!" Mieko replies quickly. "Some fanfics are rather sweet! Like that one when the protagonist and his love interest are hit by an individuality that makes them think they are married, and…"
"... and they are allowed to have sexual relationships despite being technical minors, meaning that the faculty and, especially, the principal are permitting dubiously consensual sex between their students on the basis of 'they had a crush on each other, amiright?'." Rabbit replies dryly. "I sincerely hope that the last chapter is the individuality vanishing and those two severing their friendships with their piece of shit classmates while suing the school to oblivion."
Mieko blinks at him.
"Wait, you're reading it?!" She then asks, clearly having issues with wrapping her head around it.
"Of course I'm reading it, Mieko!" Rabbit replies loudly. "It's your main hobby at the moment and I'm your boyfriend! Naturally, I require at least a passing knowledge about your main interests so that whenever you're bored or lonely I can be there for you, at a moment's notice! I'm doing the exact same thing for all of my girlfriends! If I wasn't ready to do something like that, it'd be a clear sign that I might be in a relationship with your breasts more than with you, and that would make me a horrible human being! I might not have slept more than two hours a night ever since I confessed to you all, but it's definitely a small price to pay to make you as happy as possible!"
"So you learned knitting just because Immortal likes it and you wanted to be able to knit with her when she wanted to indulge in her hobby, but also spend her time with you?" Hypothermia wakes up for a moment. Rabbit nods. "And, err, as for me, did you…"
"Yes." Rabbit cuts in.
"Oh." Hypothermia blushes and shrinks a little. "... well, that's awkward." Naturally, neither of them elaborate.
(***)
"Ah, yes." Present Mic nods with a deadpan expression to match Eraserhead. "Chad Asa casually setting the bar in relationships so high that no one without the ability to avoid sleep almost entirely can hope to reach it."
"Well, at least he is clearly happy." Mr. Compress comments dryly. On the screen, Mieko decides to hug Rabbit (still on Hypothermia's lap) from the front. Rabbit clearly loves the resulting rabbit sandwich. "And so are they."
"Right." Present Mic decides to return to something even remotely normal. "So, errr, the last member of the Court of Numbers?"
"Mieko Eto." Mr. Compress replies. "Goes by Twilight. Runaway daughter of Eclipse, the head of the Quirkless Liberation Front. Inherited her quirk." Present Mic glances at him questioningly. "Yes, including the warp component of it."
"Tsk, ouch." Present Mic comments. This isn't going to end up nicely for the heroes.
(***)
Where's Aiko in that feud, well, you'll see in time. Let's just say that it's wild :3
*glances at Shoji and Jirou*
I swear to god, the rarepairs are writing themselves.
