011 - Yukari Hakurei's Theme/Motif: Trainwreck | Advertisement Special Premium: Collision Edition - Choo! Choo! Choo! Motherf—


Yukari is sitting in the front yard, watching the people in the human village do their things from afar. "Yup, sad excuse for them humans and youkais who are living in that village. They could have donated money to my bank account since I'm the protector of the realm, but sadly, that's never gonna happen ever. That's why I need to make a plan that would surely earn me some money. And I call it…

YUKARI HAKUREI'S SPECIAL: Specific Fanfiction Plot Device Service And For Those Who Are In Need Of Legit, Non-plagiarism, Commission, And Effort/Effective Ideas To Make Your Readers (forcefully) Read Your Fanfic | disclaimer: extra charge applies to self-insert [[$42,069,360]], gappy stu (it means outsider from the outside world) [[$36,069,420]], a character that loves another character even though they haven't met yet in the canon universe [[$69,420,360]], magic (don't need to explain shite) [[$420]], panacea gloom's shady new drug [[$360,420]], y̶u̶k̶a̶r̶i̶ a random person is fooling around in the realm [[$360]], it's a myouren temple conspiracy [[$69]], and templates like that are forbidden [[$420,360]]. | Keep in mind that this is only exclusive to this universe. Want to get a plot device from this universe? By the premium netherite card to gain access to the [[full version + director's cut + more content + extra spicy.]]"

Yukari advertised to literally no one apart from Mima who was nearby and heard what she said. "Umm, what are you doing? Are you trying to advertise? Because it sure as hell is not working. You better go to the human village and set shop for your, umm, products that you're going to be selling. That's my advice, if you're willing to take it though." Yukari looked at her from her shoulder and just nodded, then Yukari gestured to her to leave her alone. Mima just shrugged and went back to reading the physics book about nuclear fusion and matter and antimatter.

Yukari thought about what Mima said and her plan about advertising in the village. "...Alright, I've made up my mind. I'm going to set up shop for those aspiring fanfiction writers. And also, this is not a fourth wall breaking since about less than half of the population in the human village writes fanfics about their favorite people. I'm a genius… nah, I don't like that term. I prefer the other term where it's called "Tons of knowledge and information ready to be used". Yeah, that kind." Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

Walking to the entrance of the human village, Yukari met the two guards, the same ones who are guarding the gate and met her in their first encounter, and one of the guards asked what she's doing in the human village. Ever since the large homicide that happened before, the council decided to announce the guards to be on high alert.

"I'm going to set up shop for my advertisement products for fanfic ideas. That's all." The two guards talked to each other and thought that the woman was good to go since she'd been visiting way before the incident happened. Even now the incident is still happening. None of them know it's Yukari's doing. "You're good to go, miss. Stay out of trouble."

"Will do." They let her in and Yukari immediately went to the center to set up the shop for fanfic ideas that are for aspiring fanfic writers. Now, Yukari has to wait for any potential customers/writers to come to her stall and order something like a deliciously fantastic plot idea. "I see many people passing by, but none of them are coming to my stall. Meh, it's only been five minutes, so I'm going to wait for an hour. If none of them are coming to my stall, then I need to step up my game."

Yukari snapped her fingers and a gap opened below the stall. After the gap on the ground closed, a new gap opened up in the sky, then came down a new stall with bigger, better, and more decorative design for a fitting and deserved "YUKARI HAKUREI'S SPECIAL" stall. Yukari inspected her own work. "Not bad if I do say so myself, me." While she's talking to herself like a complete psychopath, the people around her steer clear away from her, thinking that she's a cultist or someone suspicious.

Yukari entered her own stall and sat down on the chair that came with the package. She's now waiting for people to approach her stall and buy or commission an idea or a fanfic. After an hour or so, a person finally approached her stall. It's a girl with brown mixed with green hair color, her clothes are similar to that of a librarian mixed with a boy's clothes, and this girl might seem to be an ordinary one, but Yukari can feel that this girl has some kind of special power. Also, she has insect body appearance such as a pair of antennae on her head.

"Welcome to YUKARI HAKUREI'S SPECIAL: Specific Fanfiction Plot Device Service And For Those Who Are In Need Of Legit, Non-plagiarism, Commission, And Effort/Effective Ideas To Make Your Readers (forcefully) Read Your Fanfic. How may I help you, miss?" Yukari greeted the customer in the most professional way possible.

"I, umm, saw this stall, and it seemed interesting. I… I want to get help in making my fanfic. It seems this is the only stall that gives specific help for someone like me." Yukari nodded and listened to her story. "What's your name, miss? And also, what kind of specific idea do you want to receive?"

"Oh, uh, my name is Wriggle Motoori. What I want is something related to FM synthesis bugs. You know, that "kind" if you know what I mean." Yukari thought about it and remembered what it was about. "I get what you're talking about. Just hold on for a sec and I'll be right back with your plot idea." Yukari stood up from her chair and walked behind a tree. This confuses Wriggle Motoori as she saw Yukari going behind the tree. Wriggle looked to her side multiple times, then she slowly walked over to the tree that Yukari walked to. Once she took a peek behind it, Yukari was nowhere to be seen. "What…—"

"Is something the matter, my dear customer?" Wriggle screamed at the top of her lungs as she was startled by Yukari suddenly appearing behind her."What?! How!? When?!" Yukari raised an eyebrow as she was confused by the customer's baffled expression. "What do you mean? I just left to get the plot idea. Here's the folder. It contains all the necessary information about your specific idea. Go on, read it." Wriggle instantly stopped being surprised and took the folder to look at the contents.

She read it and it contains:

FM Synthesis Novel Ideas For Dummies

[1] FM Synth Insect: The Bug Sounder

[2] An Especially Tiny & Perfectly Formed FM Bug - CLM Examples

[3] ECE4760 PIC32: Cornell ECE

[4] Understanding FM Implementations

[5] FM Synthesis Clicking Ideas

[6] Thomasfydel/FMSynth - Audio Synth To Text

[7] FM Syn…

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See more

Wriggle continued to read the folder until the last page. Apparently, the folder contains two hundred pages. Don't know how Yukari managed to fit it inside a thin ass folder, but she did it anyway. After Wriggle finished reading it, she gave the folder back to Yukari. "This will suffice. How much will it be?"

"It's only…" Yukari thought about the price because there are specific prices for specific things such as these. "...$420. That's the price." Wriggle nodded, shuffled to her pockets to find her wallet. She fished out the $420 and gave it to Yukari. Yukari grabbed the money and gave the folder back to Wriggle Motoori. "It has been a pleasure to be serving you. Come back again next time if you want more ideas from YUKARI HAKUREI'S SPECIAL: Specific Fanfiction Plot Device Service And For Those Who Are In Need Of Legit, Non-plagiarism, Commission, And Effort/Effective Ideas To Make Your Readers (forcefully) Read Your Fanfic. Thank you once again."

Wriggle nodded and said, "You are very welcome. I am happy to be buying things from you. I will come back again next time." Wriggle left with her newly bought folder filled with hopes and dreams. "Yeah, sure. Hopes and dreams, huh? I lost that a long time ago. Gone into the abyss, never to be found… FOREVER." Yukari was saddened by this, but quickly recovered from it since she got money. "Finally, my wallet/bank account will be filled to the brim since I earned money from people."

Yukari threw the money into her gap to store it, so it can't be stolen by someone. Having abilities such as this is super convenient. 'But relying on your abilities too much makes you a third rate, so I rarely ever use my abilities… I say as I defeated two powerful beings that could probably annihilate the human village and the realm. Those are justified.' After finishing that thought, Yukari goes back to sitting on the chair and waits for another customer to come by. One customer isn't enough because you won't get more money by just having one customer to buy your products.

Waiting for seven hours for someone to buy your product is boring. It's even worse when nobody approaches your stall to actually buy something. 'Is my store not decorative enough, or they don't care about writing fanfics? Hmm, most of the people here are illiterate and can't even afford to enroll in a school, in Rumia's school, that is. There's only one school in this entire bloody village. The state of the human village is… let's just say not looking too good.' Yukari grabbed a newspaper from that nuclear tengu. 'I think her name is Utsuho Shameiraru. She likes to call herself a resident reporter. Though, her newspapers don't always contain the true information. Majority of it contains grammatical errors, wrong spelling, and even the names aren't even right. So in short, this is not a reliable source of information. But, the people still read her newspapers because she's the only one who delivers it. Sometimes, it probably contains the information that the people are looking for.' After finishing that long thought, she goes back to reading the godawful newspaper.

After losing a miniscule amount of brain cells trying to read the newspaper, Yukari saw someone at the front of the stall. It's the same woman, who is Wriggle Motoori, from before. "You're back. That was quick. Do you want to buy another plot device idea, or do you want something else?" Yukari questioned her, in response, she said, "I need your help." Yukari got her curious, but now Wriggle got her full attention.

"Oh? What do you need my help for?" Yukari put down the newspaper to completely listen to Wriggle. "I… I accidentally resurrected a man into a… jinyou." Oh, now Wriggle really got Yukari's attention. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? YOU DO KNOW THAT A HUMAN BECOMING ONE IS THE GREATEST SIN OF ALL." Yukari's face morphed into something horrific like an eldritch cosmic monster. Wriggle is now scared, and not because of Yukari's face, no. It's because she did something unspeakable.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do it! I was just testing from the novel that I created and thought it would be cool to actually do it!" Fortunately, nobody can hear them talk because Yukari set up a boundary that only Yukari and Wriggle can hear each other. "..." Yukari didn't say a word, but she just sighed. "Why are you telling me this?"

"You're the Hakurei shrine maiden, right? I figured that you would know this since you have experience in dealing with this. Please, save him! He's my assistant!" Wriggle begged as she did a dogeza. Yukari got into a thinking pose before giving her thought about the matter. She finally thought of an answer to this mess. "Alright, mate. I know how to help him. Can you help me show where he is?"

Wriggle stood up and said, "Do you promise that you'll not kill him?" Yukari rolled her eyes in a mildly infuriated manner. "No. Where did you hear that? I don't kill innocents, and I only kill the truly evil ones." Wriggle got confused by this information. "But that book says—" Yukari cut her off, she probably doesn't want to hear it. "Whatever book that's featuring me in it that you're reading is probably full of crap. Now then, lead the way because I don't want to hear this." Wriggle nodded and walked to where the human turned youkai is.

Wriggle Motoori brought Yukari to Konchuhogoku, a dwelling for humans, insects, and other species. 'The name is basically called insect sanctuary, but it can be accessed by humans and other species such as youkais? Seems legit, I suppose,' Yukari thought, heading inside after being let in by Wriggle. After heading inside, Yukari was met with a barrage of magical attacks that are composed of swords, spears, mace, and other types of sharp objects. Yukari reflexively dodged all the attacks because she got experience in dealing stuff like this.

[Now playing "Trainwreck" by Mildly Infuriated Anon]

Wriggle is on the sidelines, so she won't get hurt. "A-Assistant, what are you doing?!" The assistant angrily looked over to Wriggle. "I thought you were supposed to help me! Not bring the youkai exterminator over here!" Yukari and the assistant continued to fight each other until Wriggle got in between them. "Stop! This isn't supposed to happen, so stop hurting each other!" Yukari withdrew whatever weapon that she had. As for the assistant, he hesitated to drop his weapon, but he did it, anyway. "Great! Fantastic! The youkai exterminator already knows that I exist."

Yukari sighed and grunted at the same time… don't know how that works, but okay. "Look, mate. I only kill those who are truly evil. And you don't seem evil to me." The assistant looked over at Yukari. "What do you mean by that? I'm dumb. I read a book with you in it where you mercilessly kill those youkais to save the peopl—" Yukari cut him off and suddenly said, "Nope, you're wrong. Bloody hell, where do you people get these books? For the last time, I don't kill people who are truly evil and irredeemable."

The assistant closed his eyes and cried. 'What the…? Why is he crying now? Did I do something?' Wriggle ran over to him to comfort him. She looked at Yukari and gestured to her to go to the other room and wait. Yukari shrugged and moved over to that room. 'Meh, I didn't do anything, well, apart from attacking him, but he attacked me first, so it's only fair that I defend myself.' Yukari is inside the room, the living room to be specific. She sat down and waited for Wriggle to give her instructions on how to approach him.

'This operation is crucial. I have to do this quickly before he's permanently become a youkai. Wait, since when did he turn into a youkai?' Yukari thought, but somebody entered the room and interrupted her thinking. Yukari looked at the person who entered the room and saw that it was Wriggle. "Hey, I think he calmed down. If you're going to do your thing, you better do it quickly." Yukari got up from the chair and asked Wriggle something.

"Wriggle, since when did he turn into a youkai?" Wriggle is slightly confused by this, but get what Yukari's talking about. "About nine months ago." Yukari looked at the ground, disappointed. Wriggle is perplexed by this action. "H-Hey, what's wrong? He's in the other room waiting for you to turn him back to human. I… I regret speaking that ancient language that turned him into a youkai…"

Yukari stared straightly at Wriggle and drop the bomb on her… metaphorically. "I'm sorry to say, but he can't turn back to human now." Wriggle had her mouth wide open, signifying that she's quite shocked at this. "W-Why? You said you can turn him back?" Yukari shook her head. "I'm sorry. The spell will only work if the transformation is recently activated. If the transformation happened like an hour ago, then I would have done something about this. But no, it's already too late for him."

Wriggle got into a dogeza. "P-Please, don't kill him!" Yukari grabbed Wriggle's shoulder and made her stand up. "Don't worry. I won't brutally kill just because he turned into a youkai." After saying that, Yukari felt something and saw a strange vision where the assistant was killed by a girl wearing the Hakurei shrine clothes, but Yukari dismissed it, thinking to herself that it was just her imagining things. But, Yukari needs to ask something.

"Is he really your assistant, or he's not one and instead a fortune teller?" Wriggle looked sad when she heard that. "I… he's a fortune teller at first. I just saw him outside Konchuhogoku. He looked hurt and scared, so I took him in and took care of him. And now, he's helping me. After a long time, he became my assistant."

Yukari absorbed the information, then delivered her final answer that will solve this problem. "He will live as long as he doesn't cause trouble." Wriggle looked happy about this. "T-Thank you! Thank you!" Yukari just said "yeah, yeah" and the problem was solved. 'Well, at least this day got more interesting than the rest… nah. This day is as interesting as the other ones. Nothing is ever dull in the realm.'

Hours later, back at the "YUKARI HAKUREI'S SPECIAL: Specific Fanfiction Plot Device Service And For Those Who Are In Need Of Legit, Non-plagiarism, Commission, And Effort/Effective Ideas To Make Your Readers (forcefully) Read Your Fanfic" stall…

"Back on the seat inside in my stall. I didn't accept Wriggle's money because that's not what protectors do… on second thought, that was a dumb move on my part. I should have accepted it. Meh, it's too late now, I guess. It's no use crying over lost money." Wrong phrase aside, Yukari looked over to the crowd that were trying to live their life by going on about their day, then she stared at the sky. "Hmm, it's already night time. I'm going to pack up now. Going to the path that leads to my shrine is usually infested with dangerous entities such as youkais."

Yukari instantly packed her stall, like she literally packed her stall inside her gap. She left the human village and is already heading back to her shrine, but nothing is ever easy in the realm, and there will always be random crap happening. This is one of them. Yukari encountered tons of fairies, tengus, demon, ghost, and jiang shi. Yukari sighed in a tired manner. 'I already know how to deal with them, but it's so tiring fighting them all the time, every day.'

"Huh, want a fight? I'll give you one… SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT."

[Now playing "Trainwreck" by Mildly Infuriated Anon]

Then a one versus thousand fight has finally begun. The thousand fantasy creatures couldn't even scratch Yukari, let alone get close to her and deal some real damage. In short, Yukari is untouchable because of her boundary manipulation. The thousand enemies didn't succeed in killing Yukari.

They tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter.

The only reason why they lost is because the elevation that Yukari is standing on is slightly taller than them. In short, she's got- "I got the higher ground, you bloody wicked beings. You lost because of that." Yukari dealt with the enemies and left them on the ground as she proceeded to go back to her shrine.

Yukari killed some of the most dangerous beings who attacked her, but didn't kill the others because they're not that dangerous. "There's no rule which states that I can't kill non-human creatures, so this doesn't break the law. Killing innocent humans on the other hand, well, there's the word "innocent" written in there. That means non-human creatures and evil humans are free game for me." After explaining it to no one, Yukari finally reached her house and entered inside it. She saw Mima doing some experiments in the backyard. She didn't bother her because she needed to do something in the basement.

'I need to check on the criminals. To see if they're still alive. They're the only fuel source for the non-human creatures. It's called FEAR. Apparently, some non-human creatures are not evil, but rather, they're more of an annoyance than anything,' Yukari thought as she slowly headed to the basement.

During the time she's heading down to the basement, she thought, 'Actually, non-human creatures don't need fear from humans. The humans just need to believe in whatever the non-human creatures are supposed to be. It just so happens that fear is the most popular emotion when humans encounter something that they don't understand. Such examples are youkais.' She grabbed the keys from her gap and opened the basement door after explaining how non-human creatures are interconnected with humans to literally no one. Who asked?

'Shut up.' Yukari entered the basement and inspected every prison cell which is just her boundary manipulation keeping the criminals tightly locked and can't cause trouble to anyone. "Hmm, no one has escaped. Good, good. Keep doing a good work in producing fear for the good youkais. The evil youkais though… they can die for all I care." After Yukari is done inspecting that everything is working in an orderly fashion, she exits the basement, but she is met with Mima who suddenly appears in front of her.

"Yo, what are you doing? And what's that over there?" Yukari used her boundary manipulation to close the basement door instantly so as to not rouse a suspicion from Mima. "None of your concern. You don't see me questioning whatever the bloody hell you're doing, right?" Mima was about to say something to counterargument with her, but couldn't say it. "Fine. I won't bother you, well, whatever is it you're doing down there, myem." Mima left to go back to her lab, which is the backyard.

"I need to do this quickly before anyone finds out about this. Luckily, nobody has found this since no one ever visited the shrine like, I don't know, thousands of years ago." Yukari goes to the living room to rest since there are no non-human creatures attacking her, incidents happening, or even random stuff that are trying to ruin her life.

'I have to admit. I never expected a human to turn into a youkai. Accidentally, even. In the past, many humans wanted to become youkai because they had reasons such as "I don't want to be weak" or even "I want more power", you know, stuff like that. If you ask me, that's a dumb reason to become youkai. The only thing you will receive after you become a youkai is the youkai exterminators coming for your ass, and that's very tiring knowing you have to watch your back.' Long thoughts aside, Yukari looks at the ceiling in the living room.

"...I wonder… well… *looks at the people who are reading this* …I know I've said this before, but don't think my age in 000 is real. I hid it because you can't handle the truth. *goes back to staring at the ceiling*" Stop breaking the fourth wall. I had to hire some fourth wall fixers for $19.97. That price is too much, even for me. Alas, Yukari ignored the narration and continued to stare at the ceiling like some kind of bozo.

After some hours has passed while Yukari is staring off into the ceiling like some dense motherfu-

"All right. It's settled. I'm going out because this shrine contain too many stupid people live in." Mima heard that and said, "Hey, what do you mean by that, myem!?" But Yukari completely ignored her and exited the premise. "Hey, come back here! I'm not done with you!" But Yukari is fast enough to leave the shrine via using her boundary manipulation.

Some place in a random ass forest that is just one hundred twenty meters away from the human village, Yukari stumbled upon a youkai hunter who is exterminating fairies, vampires, demons, and many more non-human creatures. 'Damn, this youkai exterminator is good… TOO GOOD. She's killing too much and she's killing innocent non-human creatures, too. The only reason why the realm is created is to house the innocent non-human creatures and the human as their fuel source, but not everything is according to plan as always.'

Yukari continued to watch, but after she saw the silver haired female youkai exterminator, she couldn't let this slide easily. 'Actions have consequences, you know?' Yukari tried to approach the woman, but she immediately swung her whip against Yukari. Yukari knew this was going to happen, so she quickly jumped away to avoid the attack.

[Now playing "Trainwreck" by Mildly Infuriated Anon]

"You almost killed me. What gives?" Yukari said in a neutral expression, but the silver haired female exterminator didn't say anything. She just…

SMILED… DEMENTEDLY…

"Bloody hell mate, that's one smile you got there. If you're going to be that way, then so be it. I'll leave you alone. Just one tip, though… DON'T UNNECESSARY KILL PEOPLE, CAPISCHE?" Yukari showed her the most horrific face that every man, youkai, and every creature has seen. But, the silver haired female youkai exterminator is not even scared. Not even once. This woman is kind of like an… empty vessel.

Once Yukari showed her that face, she changed her mind. "On second thought, I'm just going to kill you. You're too dangerous to be left alive." Yukari instantly one-shotted her using her boundary manipulation and summoned what seems to be a terminal velocity train at her. As for the point of view from the silver haired female youkai exterminator after being hit by a massive moving iron transportation vehicle, somebody said to her in her mind—

THEN THE WORLD IS COVERED IN DARKNESS.

"Hmm?" Yukari woke up in the front yard of the shrine. "What the… did I just wake up from a dream?" Yukari thought about it, but quickly dismissed it because it was taking too much of her brain cells trying to think about it. "Never mind. I'll just watch the people in the human village do their things from afar." Then she thought, 'Yup, sad excuse for them humans and youkais who are living in that village…'