Darkness

It all happened so fast. With Thomas leading the way, ushering everyone to keep moving, the group of reunited teengers found themselves running across a barren, stormy desert. Above them, the night sky reigned supreme, and a deep darkness cascaded over the entire world. Worse, a vicious wind was making the desert's sand wisp around, making everyone cover their eyes or else they'd become blinded. Even worse-worse, WICKED was right behind them the entire time, so one false move could determine freedom or capture once more. Though, if you set aside the negatives for a moment, the main positive could help overcome them: the fact that those teenagers were able to actually escape that compound was almost impossible, and yet they had accomplished it. They had freed themselves from WICKED once more, so even if the world wanted to blind them, make them run for miles, or even shoot them in the leg, those teenagers would keep running.

They wouldn'tbe prisoners again. They couldn't.

However, just maybe, their determination would pay off - maybe the world would give them a leg up instead of shooting it. Once the group had managed to escape WICKED's eyes by using the sand storm, they came across a buried building. At first, they were hesitant to enter it, but upon seeing Teresa dive right through the broken window, the teens had no other choice but to follow her. They each slid down a hill of sand (some of them doing it more gracefully than others) before finding themselves now standing in an extremely large building. Hope looked around in awe; the ceilings were so high, the building was so large, and she could almost picture the building back in its glory days. The girl wondered what this place looked like when it was filled with all different types of people, each of them enjoying their time. But that must have been so long ago, because now, the building was lonely. Desolate. Wrecked.

Dark.

"Woof!" Suddenly, Hope felt something wet touch her hand and heard a friendly sound beside her. This made her smile, kneel down, and lift her hand to Hugo's fluffy head. "Woof, woof!"

"Hey there, buddy," Hope said in a kind tone. "Thanks for looking after them."

"Mph." Hugo let out a gruff noise. "Ruff!"

"And you… you looked after me," Hope whispered, her smile slowly fading away. "Hugo, you've always been there, haven't you? You were always with me, cheering me on… Thank you. Thank you for saving me."

In response, Hugo leaned forward and rested his head onto Hope's shoulder. Hope wrapped her arms around her best friend, loving Hugo for allowing her to have at least one good memory from her past. This dog had saved Hope more times than she could count, and she would be forever grateful. Without a doubt, Hugo was the reason that Hope had made it this far.

"...Hope?" But then, Hope heard a voice above her. And once she let go of Hugo, Hope saw Chuck looking down at her, worry swirling within his young eyes. "A-Are you okay? Doing all that running must have hurt."

"I'm… I'm fine…" Hope mumbled while she stood back up. However, unlike normally, Hope wasn't able to look back into Chuck's eyes. Or anyone's eyes at that, because after Hope had asked that question, everyone else crowded around the two to stare worriedly at Hope. "I-It doesn't hurt that much."

"Are you sure?" Frypan questioned as well. "You had a bullet in your chest. It's been two days. It's gotta hurt."

"And it's no problem if you need to slow down," Minho added. "We can help you."

"Th-Thank you, but… Honestly, it doesn't hurt that bad." Hope shrugged and then gulped. "Though, if we should be focusing on something, I think it should be what just happened."

"I completely agree," Teresa stated, her tone much sharper than Hope's. "Thomas, what the hell happened back there? What did we just do?"

"...It's WICKED," Thomas said after a short pause. He was facing the entire group, worry and anger within his eyes. "They lied to us. We never escaped. Me and Aris, we found bodies. Too many to count."

Silently, Hope's eyes widened when she heard the name 'Aris'. Moreover, hearing that singular name made a certain voice pop into her head. A voice that had so much control over Hope that her shock left… and her depression returned. Of course, Hope heard everything that Thomas was saying, but her mood was darkening. Quickly.

"What do you mean?" Minho had a totally different response to Thomas' words. "Dead bodies?"

"No, but they weren't alive either," Thomas explained. "They had 'em strung up… with tubes coming out of them. Th-They were being drained. There's something inside of us that WICKED wants. Something in our blood. So we have to get as far away from them as possible."

"Okay…" Newt nodded. "So, what's the plan? You do have a plan, right?"

"Yeah, I…" Thomas shook his head. "I don't know."

"Well, we followed you out here, Thomas!" Newt chided, his voice cracking. "And now you're saying that you have no idea where we're going or what we're doing?!"

Hope glanced over toward Newt sympathetically, seeing how anxious he was as well. The boy raked his hands through his hair and let out a long breath - it was obvious that Newt didn't want to get angry with Thomas, but this was a lot. Those boys were forced into a whole new world, and they had no idea if there was a place for them within it. A safe place. They were lost in darkness, having no idea what to do. However, possibly, their newest friend had an inkling of an idea.

"Wait," Aris spoke up, "Janson said something about people hiding in the mountains. Some kind of resistance or army."

"The Right Arm," Thomas remembered as well. "If they're really against WICKED, maybe they can help us."

Newt showed Aris and Thomas a flabbergasted look. "People… In the mountains… Mountain people… That's your plan?"

"It's the only chance we have, Newt," Thomas protested. "The only thing, and we… we have an even bigger problem to worry about." But when Thomas said this, the mood became even more serious. "Remember that blonde woman from that video? Ava Paige?"

"Yeah…?" Chuck murmured in confusion. "What about her?"

"She's not dead," Thomas stated, causing Hope's eyes to widen more than they already were. "And she's the one orchestrating all of this: those bodies, these tests, they all link back to her. She's still out there."

"Well, that's even better," Minho huffed. "Great even."

Ava… Hope thought. Ava, you're still alive?

"...Hey, guys! Check this out!" All of a sudden, Winston's voice chimed in. "Minho, give me light!" Winston had been kneeling on the ground a few feet away from everyone, so once he motioned Minho over, everyone else did the same. Likewise, as Minho shined his stolen flashlight to where Winston was pointing to, everyone could see what the ex-Slicer noticed: footprints in the sand. Winston showed his friends an uneasy look. "Someone's been down here, guys."

But, oddly enough, that was everyone's cue to start looking around. Staying within a group, the teenagers deliberately started exploring the abandoned, destroyed building. It was large - like, really large - and it had a crap load of things within it. Some of the things were familiar to the teens, while other things were a ginormous question mark. Regardless, the group continued their search and made sure that no one else was in the building. During this time, no voices were really being said, and yet… Hope's head was loud with voices. Exceptionally loud.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk."

Hope heard Mara's voice haunting her.

"You always wanted to be surrounded by those boys, because all your life you've been rejected by them."

Hope looked down at her feet.

"Such a sad, lonely little girl you are."

She felt ashamed.

"Well, if you truly think that those friends of yours love you, then you're more deluded than I thought."

She felt stupid.

"Because who's still going to love you after you tell them the truth, huh? Who's going to love you after you remind them of how much they hated you back then?"

She felt ugly.

"They will hate you as much as they did back then."

She felt…

"But, Hope, I just want you to know that I will still love you. I still love you."

Dirty.

"And if you don't tell them who you truly are, then… then you are more selfish than I thought."

And selfish.

"Oh, and don't you remember what happens to selfish people?"

Hope felt so very…

"They get thrown away, because they are nothing but trash…"

Selfish.

That was the worst part of it, though.

Hope didn't want to be selfish, yet she didn't want her friends to hate her.

She didn't want Thomas to throw her away again.

But, to Hope, those things were what selfish people deserved.

Being thrown away and being hated were… what Hope believed she deserved.

So again, Hope had to ask herself why.

Why did the world collide Hope's life with their lives?

Was it to punish her?

Was it to make her feel worse?

Well, the world was doing a good job with that, because Hope…

Hope was suffocating.

"Okay, guys, let's pack some of this stuff up," Thomas said once they had entered a room full of useful supplies. "Anything you think you might need, get it. We'll split up, see what else we can find. Meet back here, okay?"

However, the moment that Hope heard the two words 'split up,' she bolted from that room. She couldn't take it anymore - she needed to calm herself down or scream or something! Hope felt like she was about to throw up again, and she didn't want any of her friends to see such a disgusting sight. Not only the throw up part, though. Hope didn't want her friends to see her, either, and definitely not in the current state she was in. Hope still hadn't been able to look at her friends, because she had felt so ashamed and so ugly. She wanted to cry, she wanted to let her emotions run free, yet Hope felt selfish for even thinking such a thing. At that moment, it was almost like… It felt like… Hope felt like a sickness. A virus. And if anyone in the world touched her, then she would make other people sick. Her mere existence felt like… a nuisance, and Hope didn't want to burden anyone with herself.

Plus, Hope now knew that Ava was still alive. That made her feel even worse.

Hope's feelings were dark. Twisted. Self-deprecating. Again, no one had ever told the girl otherwise. During Hope's darkest years, no one except for Hugo was there to comfort her. And Hugo couldn't even speak, so every time Mara told Hope a terrible thing, Hugo couldn't argue against it. He could only stay with her. Quietly. Though, another thing to remember was that Mara pulled Hope back into that dark past. Mara pulled Hope in until she was unable to think about anything else. So, if Hope was going to remember that people had, in fact, cared about her, someone quite special was going to need to pull her out of that darkness. Someone that Hope cared about just as much as she cared about Mara. And that person… grabbed onto Hope's wrist.

"Hope." Newt spoke her name. It was so simple, and he had done it so many times, yet it made Hope's heart twist. "Hope, what's wrong? Why did you just-"

"N-Nothing," Hope stuttered, swiping her wrist out from Newt's hand. "I'm fine."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Then… why won't you look at me?"

"W-Why would I need to look at you?"

"Hope…"

"What?"

"Your scars are showing." But when Newt acknowledged this, Hope immediately moved her arms to wrap around her body, keeping her bare underarms out of sight. Nonetheless, that action didn't make Newt feel any better. Something was off, but why… Why wouldn't Hope talk to him about it? "Hey, um… There's some clothes over by Teresa. You should probably go get a jacket or something."

"O-Oh, thank you." Hope gulped. "Then I'll go over-"

"But not just yet." It was Newt's turn to interject, and he quickly moved his body to stand in front of the girl, effectively stopping her in her tracks. However, Hope still wouldn't look at him, even if he was right in front of her. "Hope, seriously… What's wrong? Did WICKED do something to you?"

"No… I told you… I'm fine…" Hope mumbled. Every word that the two spoke, it echoed through the large building. Although, due to the fact that they were in a pretty secluded area away from the rest of the group, this conversation stayed between them. Only them. "There's nothing wrong."

"You can't actually believe that I'll bloody believe that, right?" Newt scoffed. "I mean, you haven't looked up from the ground since we ran away from WICKED. And you're just… Something's different."

Hope shook her head. "N-Newt, please… I don't… I-I don't have anything to say. I don't know what to say."

"Then… don't say anything at all," Newt sighed as he took a small step closer to her. "If you don't know what to say, then I can help you in other ways. Remember, if you need me, I'll do anything you want. Anything."

"Oh, and don't you remember what happens to selfish people?"

No.

No, Hope couldn't.

She couldn't do such a thing.

"D-Don't… Please, don't say that…" Hope whimpered out. Her tone was scared and oh-so sad. "I can't… I can't do that anymore."

"Do what?"

"Need you."

"What?"

"I can't 'need you,' Newt!" Hope snapped without meaning to. Though, she quickly let out an irritated huff to calm herself. She couldn't lose her cool - she couldn't give into her emotions. "Just… Please… I can't do that… I can't 'need you'."

"…But I need you." That single sentence, which was spoken with such an emotional, pained undertone, had the power to make Hope's head whip upward. Those words shocked Hope, and it made her entire heart explode with different emotions. So many emotions that, despite her best efforts to resist him, Newt drew Hope right back to him. Hence, upon seeing Hope finally look up, he cupped her face and pulled their foreheads together. "I need you, Hope… I want you."

As a child, all Hope ever wanted was to be wanted. To be accepted. To be seen as someone deserving of friendship. But now, looking straight into her eyes, Hope was standing before a boy that needed her. And with need, came the incapability of living without someone. So if… if Newt was truly saying that, then… Hope could feel her cheeks grow hot, her palms get sweaty, and her eyes start to water. It was like a dream to Hope; a dream that her child-self would have died with happiness upon hearing someone say such a thing to her. But… But, sadly, Hope wasn't a child anymore. She had grown into a person that didn't understand why someone would want such a thing. It was true that Hope wanted to be wanted, but that didn't mean she thought that that want would ever come true. No, she believed it to be impossible.

It didn't make sense to Hope why Newt would 'need her' or 'want her.' Why would such a wonderful person… want her?

"W-Why…?" Hope eventually whispered out her question. With tears lining her eyes, Hope found herself unable to look away from the boy inches away from her face. "Why would you want that?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Newt inquered, staring down at her fondly. "After all we've been through, how could I not want you? I'd be insane to want to let you go."

"N-No… No, you're insane for wanting me," Hope confessed. Those words were honest - something that Hope wouldn't have admitted to anyone but Newt. Again, Newt merely had a power over Hope that no one else did. "Why would you want me? Wh-What's there to want?"

"…They did this to you, didn't they?" Newt breathed in an angry tone. Though, although his tone was lethal, his touch wiping away Hope's tears was soft, gentle, the complete opposite of his words. "Those Slintheads, they… they hurt you, didn't they? What'd they say to you? What'd they do?"

"Newt," Hope sniffed, "that's not the-"

"I'm gonna kill 'em," Newt growled. "Next time I see WICKED, I'm going to… Oh, I'm gonna bloody murder them." Newt's tone then changed into a gentler, kinder tone once he looked back down at Hope. "But, Hope, whatever they said to you, is wrong. There's nothing wrong with you, and we do want you. We want you right here next to us. You're important to us, you hear me? You're wanted with us."

Hope almost broke down in tears, but somehow, she managed to keep them at bay. As she stared up into Newt's earnest eyes, the feelings that Hope had tried to bury… started digging their way back up. Those feelings of security, happiness, and freedom from her past, which each reconciled into one certain emotion, made Hope unable to function. Once more, Newt had showcased how amazing he was when it came to Hope, and how he could wash all the bad away with only words. He made the loneliest girl in the world feel like she was never alone at all. Newt made Hope forget about her "selfishness" and her past, allowing her to simply be with him. So yes, that certain emotion, that Hope had tried to bury, had dug itself out of its hole.

Still…

Still, Hope couldn't.

Hope couldn't feel that 'certain emotion' toward Newt, because…

"And if you don't tell them who you truly are, then… then you are more selfish than I thought."

Hope felt that Newt deserved better than her.

Newt was Hope's everything.

Newt was her most cherished person.

So no, Hope didn't feel that she deserved him.

Since, even if Newt said that she was 'wanted', he knew nothing.

"You say that, yet you know nothing," Hope said and then placed her hands over Newt's, slowly taking his hands off from her face. Likewise, Hope took a step away from the stunned Newt, the saddest of smiles on her face. "You don't know who I am, Newt. You don't know who I truly am, and that's why… why you can't truly want or need me. Trust me," Hope took a deep breath, "you'd be better off without me."

Hope then walked around Newt and walked off toward Teresa, leaving Newt to stand there completely alone. He didn't understand. He didn't understand a single thing that'd just happened. However, when a powerful feeling of rejection suddenly started stabbing his heart, Newt combed his hands through his hair and precipitously shook his head. Furthermore, once that feeling of depression was shaken away, Newt took his own deep breath in… and out.

That wasn't right. Whatever Hope was thinking, wasn't right at all, because none of that mattered. Newt didn't care if he knew little to nothing about Hope, because what he did know was how amazing she was. Hope was kind, generous, always trying her best, and never gave up; she never judged anyone or deliberately hurt anyone. She was the most selfless person Newt had ever known, and… and he loved her. Without a doubt, without a single hesitation in his mind, Newt knew that he had fallen in love with that girl. And those feelings were genuine enough to inspire Newt to not give up Hope just yet. There was something Hope was keeping from him - something that had hurt her very deeply, and Newt wanted to figure it out.

He wanted to see her smile again. He just wanted to be with her. The person Newt cared most about was hurting, and he, regardless of what darkness he'd find within Hope, wanted to know the truth. Since Newt knew, without another single doubt in his mind, he'd still love her. And he'd do anything to have her. Hope's was Newt's light, and if his light had lost her light, then he would do anything to turn it back on.


A/N: Trust me, next chapter will be a little more, um, lighthearted.