Author's Note:
I don't know what's going on with the fanfiction dot net site, but I have been receiving no email notifications of when new stories are posted (my own or others I follow) nor emails about reviews. I apologize for that, but please remember I am posting at my regular times and when a new chapter is uploaded, it is posted on my tumblr as a reminder — breaniebree.
Reviews and Comments: To Sets: Well, Remus is great at the advice giving, just not so much at the follow through lol. To answer your second review — yes, yes it will be. Thank you! To Emma Janet: Thank you! I think James Potter was a very natural romantic. Unfortunately, Harry is not lol. Thank you! To Nuno Neves: Thank you! Of course James wanted everything to be perfect and yes, using the Beatles in his proposal was just so perfectly them in my opinion. Thanks for loving how they both reacted to the moment. Thank you! To ellyann13: That is pretty accurate, yes. Thank you! To Padfoot777: Thank you for taking the time to review it, I really appreciate it. I'm glad you think this is one of your favourite chapters so far. Yup, Remus' advice was a bit ironic, wasn't it? LOL. Thank you! To EnigmaticEmperor: Well, as I said, Remus gives great advice, he's just not great at following it lol. Thank you for loving the proposal. Thank you! To A Huge Fan: Thanks for saying the proposal was adorable. It is a good thing James has Remus as the voice of reason, which makes it more sad when James isn't there to return the favour later on. Thank you!
To scrappy8: Thank you! To ThomasJAvery: Thank you very much! They were a lot of fun to write! Thank you! To saucyswimmer: Thanks for loving the throwback to ASC for those of you who have read ASC first. It was sweeter and more simpler terms back then. Thanks for saying it's one of the best Jily proposals you've read! Thank you! To Bellmel: Thanks for never tiring of how smitten James is with Lily. She is his whole world and he's not afraid to show it. I love Sirius and Remus' taglines and advice on how and when he should propose. Sirius, of course, was no help at all lol. Remus was very helpful and not at all willing to follow his own advice when it's his turn. Yay! I'm glad you liked my James thought process with "piece of cake, right?" followed immediately by, "it definitely wasn't a piece of cake." LOL. Poor James, so worked up. I'm sorry I defaulted with the idea of them wanting to spend the next hundred years together and not knowing they would only get three in return. Thank you!
My posting schedule: Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
Thanks to Dusk for her amazing editing skills.
As always, thank you very much for reading and please, please review!
Your reviews give me life! They give me inspiration! And they make me want to keep writing for more than just myself! Thank you for all of your continued support!
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE:
The One Where Snape Says I Love You
May 1978…
Lily sat in the Hogwarts library writing furiously with books spread around her. Her long auburn red hair tumbled down her back and she pushed her fringe out of her eyes, trying to focus on the words before her. She wore her dark black frames on her face which meant when a figure sat down across from her, she had to squint to see who it was. When she realized it was Snape, she scowled and turned back to her homework.
"Is this seat taken?"
"I didn't say that you could sit here."
Snape sighed. "I need to talk to you."
"You lost that right a long time ago," Lily said, refusing to look up at him.
"Lily... how long are you going to shut me out?" Snape asked, sadness in his voice.
"How long before you apologize?" she demanded, finally snapping her gaze up to his.
Snape bit his lip. "I have. A hundred times over and you've just refused to hear me out."
"I've refused to… well, ever think that I might find it hard to trust someone who calls me names behind my back."
"I wasn't... you're different," he said, desperately.
Lily took her glasses off, tossing them on top of her books as her green eyes flashed at his. "I'm not any different from any other Muggleborn, Severus. Just because we were friends once doesn't make me better than the others, but it does make you a bigot to think so." Her eyes fell on the textbook in his hands and her gaze hardened. "James has been looking for that."
"It's mine."
"It's not."
Snape put it on the table. "It's just a bloody textbook! I've added notes to it. Slughorn was impressed with my last potion."
Lily reached for the book and flipped it open to the front page. "Still using this name then? The Half-Blood Prince? Does it make you feel special, Sev? I get it, the play on words, using your mum's maiden name... what do your friends think of you being a half blood?
"It doesn't matter," he muttered.
"But they think that you're beneath them, that your blood isn't as pure as theirs."
"You don't understand! You don't understand what we're trying to do! Or the new world that we're trying to bring in!"
Lily scoffed, closing the book. "No, you're right. I don't understand. I don't understand how you can pal around with people like that; how you can give yourself a nickname as if Death Eater isn't already one. Do you really think that you'll become some clever gent like Lord Voldemort? That people will fear the Half-Blood Prince? You're pathetic!"
Snape's eyes flashed. "You're the one who's pathetic, Lily Evans! Sitting there, pretending to be better than me. We grew up almost the same: Poor as church mice, you're merely a little better off than me. At least I can say I have dignity; that I'm not ashamed of where I came from, while you're spreading your legs for a pureblooded trust fund! Once he realizes that you're only after his money, he'll drop you faster than a Quaffle through a hoop!"
"Fuck you," Lily spat, gathering up her things. "James is ten times the man that you'll ever be!"
"Lily, wait! I didn't mean that. It's just that Potter he… he gets me all riled up."
Lily's shoulders tensed as she stood. "James isn't even here, Severus. You can't always use him as an excuse. Look, I won't tell him that you have his stupid textbook, I'll let you use the advice in there from Fleamont. Someone who actually cares about potion making and isn't just using it to try to get his old Mudblood friend back on his side."
Snape glared. "I don't need you! That's not what I'm using potions for!"
"You do need me, Severus, because the old Severus, the one I met before Hogwarts, would never have fallen in with these Death Eaters. The old Severus was snarky, but kind. A good friend; a brilliant Potioneer. Not the man that he's become now. The one who follows dark lords and wannabe Nazis. He would have remembered the kind of man his father was and remembered the promise he made to himself to be a better man than Tobias Snape. The new Severus seems to have forgotten that. It may have taken me a long time, Sev, but I understand now that I can't help you if you won't first help yourself. And by the way, not that you want to know, but Vulnera Sanentur will do it."
"What?"
Lily's green eyes bored into his. "It leaves scars, but at least it will save their life."
Snape paled and stumbled back out of his chair. "I didn't mean... it was an accident, Lily. You have to believe me! I didn't mean it!"
Lily's eyes were full of hate as she looked at him. "No one invents a spell to slice someone open like that simply by accident, Severus. You're lucky that Sirius and I were there to save him."
"That spell wasn't meant for Potter and you know it! He got in the bloody way! If he just would have let me —"
"—let you what?" Lily interrupted. "Hit who you were aiming at? We used to be friends, Severus, and now… I don't even know who you are anymore!"
"Lily, Lily, please! You mean so much to me! Please, you just need to give me another chance! You can help me be that person again, I know it."
Lily stared at him for a long moment. "No, I can't. I love James. I love him more than I can put into words and we're going to be married. Yes, he's rich, but unlike you, he knows that I couldn't care less about that. I may not come from much, that's true, but James doesn't care where I came from. He cares about me. He doesn't care that my parents were Muggles. He loves me for who I am; accepts my faults and flaws as much as my virtues. Agreeing to marry him is the best decision that I've ever made. He makes me happier than I can even put into words. I don't think that's something that you can ever accept."
"I lo —"
"—Don't say it," she interrupted. "Because that's a word that you don't understand."
"I always have," he croaked. "You just never gave me a chance."
Lily put her bag on her shoulder and put her glasses on the top of her head. "That's the problem, Sev, I gave you too many chances."
His eyes widened and she cut him off before he could speak again.
"And if you really feel that way about me, Sev, it makes it so much worse to know that's how you treat people you think you care about."
She walked off and left him sitting there, his head in his hands.
