Chapter 50

I almost didn't go there.

Weighed the pros (barely any) and cons (plenty) but went anyway.

Carlisle was the one that told me where she was.

It was me that reached out after I left the band. Told him where I was going and why. He didn't cry, but the look on his face was so pained when I told him about my ears, it was another reminder of how much he loved me when all I'd been doing was pushing him away.

Over a somewhat strained dinner one night after I returned to LA, he mentioned he'd been in Denver and happened to see Emmett perform, who was really good, apparently. I stifled my jealousy.

Then he looked nervous.

I'd asked him about her the few times we spoke from the clinic. He gave me nothing, but he'd finally slipped and gave me what I wanted. He wouldn't tell me outright when I asked, and I guess I couldn't blame him, but the look on his face was all I needed to know.

I mainly knew Emmett as being the kid Bella hung out with on the road, so I did some digging. Found her name tied to his on a website. I'd just landed in LA from Switzerland, but Denver wasn't so far. I had nothing else to do and all the time in the world to do it.

I drove for two days alone with my thoughts on what I'd say.

Ended up I said nothing. Got chicken shit and left when I saw her standing with a blonde I would've hit on a year ago.

She looked happy, and I knew seeing me would take away from what was happiness to her now; managing Emmett. That kid she would hang out with in the rafters, now commanding the stage like a pro.

I liked his music. What I could hear of it over the crowd and buzzing, anyway.

And then there I was, looking at her long hair, longer than before when she let me touch it. Willing for the tongue that never had a problem shutting up to fucking say something already.

When she laughed, my stomach bottomed out at the sorely missed sound of her voice.

The one that haunted me while I was in that clinic. The one that was gentle, loving, understanding. The one whispering in my ear that she loved me.

The one that spoke to me with such venom that day. Venom I deserved.

I received that venom now.