Lily spent the next two weeks of holiday waiting.

For what, she wasn't sure.

Regardless, she was filled with restless energy. She rearranged her room twice, moving her desk away from the window and then back again. Moved her bed parallel to the door and then back again. She took a break to celebrate the new year with her mum. And then she cleared out her closet of old clothes and packed them into bins for donation. And then did the same with her desk contents.

Her mum had come in twice to check on her, bringing her snacks and tea at the appropriate times while she worked.

When she was done, she felt as though she had accomplished a lot – but nothing at the same time.

"All packed and ready, Lily-love?" her mum asked at dinner the eve before her return to Hogwarts.

"As much as I can be," she replied honestly.

"Excited to see your mates, surely," Rose said wryly.

"Mum."

"Only teasing."

Lily bit into the forkful of roast, her chest tight.

There had been a small part of her that expected a letter from James. A follow-up to her visit, at the very least. But no such envelope had arrived.

There had been a small moment of hope when she swore she'd seen his owl's familiar tanned feathers – swore it had to have been his owl fluttering outside the house – but the winged bird flew off before she could good a look – and after scouring the entire house and the outside bushes (still covered in heaps of snow), no evidence of a letter could be found.

Would she have admitted to anyone she'd gone madly hunting for such a thing? Never. If asked, she'd simply state she'd been looking for a particular type of shrubbery that Mr. Potter pointed out to her during her visit through their conservatory.

The small, invisible netting of string around her chest tightened, and she did her best to ignore it.

The next morning, as her mum drove her to the train station, Lily braced herself for her return. She'd neglected sending a letter back to Marlene, of which she did not regret (maybe a little). She was sure Marlene would get her revenge in short form.

Spotting Emmeline's long, glossy hair was easy – helped by the fact the girl was surrounded by the three other heads of identical hair.

"Lily!" she called, waving her over.

The redhead went, enveloping the 7th Year into a tight hug. "I've missed you. How was the skiing?"

"Unimpressive," Emmeline said wryly. "How was the wedding?"

"Unimpressive," she repeated back, pulling away to smile at the rest of the Vances. "Tilly, Ashlyn. Ready to get back to school?"

The twins shared similar grins of agreement. "Absolutely," the shorter of the two said, Tilly. "Dad had us outside as much as possible. I'm ready for a break from break."

"Had to get our money's worth," Mr. Vance retorted. "I hope you had a wonderful break, Lily?"

"I did, sir," Lily confirmed, catching Emmeline's eye. "Ready to return to work?"

"While these two appear to be ready to go back, I am not," he replied with a smile. "You should all board before it gets too late. Till, Ash, behave. Emmeline, good luck with your upcoming exams."

Lily stepped back to allow room for the four to hug. Mr. Vance let go of them after a moment, ruffling their hairs with resulting huffs from the girls. "Love you."

"Bye, dad!" Emmeline called as she and Lily followed the younger two girls onto the train.

"Did your mum stay at home with Amelia and Thena?"

Emmeline snorted, leading the way towards their usual compartment as the twins stopped at a closer compartment, filled with their fellow yearmates. "Thena broke her arm going down a black diamond slope. They fixed it at the nearest hospital, but Merlin, is she milking it for all it's worth."

Lily laughed, having met the ten year old a few times before. "She seems the type to break the rules. I feel sorry for your mum."

"Mum will be absolutely happy to send that one off to Hogwarts. She is not a good role model for Amelia. Thank Merlin I won't be here next year."

"Right – I'll have to look out for this troublemaker, won't I?"

Emmeline laughed with her head back, motioning Lily forward down the corridor in front of her.

Lily's heart stuttered when they came upon their unofficially designated compartment – the door had been propped open and in it sat two familiar boys.

"Hello, you lot," Emmeline said over Lily's shoulder, grabbing their attention. Both boys looked up simultaneously, but Lily's eyes were already raising to meet James.

"Hello," he said with his grin. "Vance, have a good break?"

Lily wasn't sure what she expected of him. To jump up and greet her specifically? Ask her outright about the rest of her holiday break, how she waited for an owl, a letter, a random appearance?

Nevertheless, her heart somewhat shrank at his nonchalance.

Emmeline pressed her forward and she took her cue, stepping into the compartment to her unofficial designated spot by the window – sat right next to James himself once more.

"It was bril," Emmeline answered, taking her own seat. "Switzerland was gorgeous. Though, my sister broke her arm down one of the skiing slopes. Nasty fall. Put a damper on the trip for a bit there."

"Bad luck," Sirius said with actual sympathy. "Broke my collarbone jumping over the landing at home to get away from my lovely mum. Hurt like you wouldn't bloody imagine."

"Merlin," Emmeline stuttered as Lily's expression no doubt held the same shock.

When she looked over, James was decidedly not surprised, and if anything, appeared dismayed at having been reminded of Sirius's past living situation.

"Sorry," Sirius continued, unbothered. "Forget not everyone's yet privy to the truths of the Black household."

"A little warning next time, yeah?" Lily said, tone light.

"Duly noted," Sirius replied wryly.

She gestured to his form. "Where's your walkman?"

"My what?"

"The cassette player, for music."

"Left it at home."

"But why?"

"Because it won't work at Hogwarts?"

"Come on, Black," she complained. "Aren't you in the same Muggle Studies class as Marlene?"

"What?" he said defensively. "Electricity doesn't work within the castle."

"Right, but the player's run on batteries."

"How's that any different?"

"Batteries aren't affected by magical interference."

"Well, I'll have to owl Mia immediately and have her send it. Do you got any more of those tapes? It was a brilliant gift."

James snorted. "Honestly, I think it was more of a gift for us, Evans. Rather than pestering the rest of us, he stayed in his room most of the time. Bloody brilliant."

"Oi," Sirius protested, giving him a warning glare. "'Sides. I actually think Mia was more pleased by the gift of your presence, Evs. She was absolutely elated to have met you. Couldn't stop talking about it, could she, Prongs?"

James shrugged. "She did think you were lovely."

"Right ready to marry you two off, I think," Sirius said wryly, leaning back into his seat comfortably, pleased when James scoffed.

Her cheeks flushed, feeling a bit pleased herself to hear she was liked by the Potter matriarch. She ignored the marriage jab.

A glance at James from beneath her lashes revealed that he appeared unaffected by Sirius's obvious teasing.

Emmeline, meanwhile, was giving her a look that made Lily feel as though her friend suspected her train of thoughts, but the older girl took mercy. "Was Potter Manor decorated properly for Christmas?"

"Was decorated before we even got there," James said with a grin. "Mum goes mad over Christmas."

"Did you have the big tree this year?" Emmeline asked, having settled into her own seat and pulling out her book.

Sirius snorted.

"Have you been there before?" Lily asked her curiously, wondering why she hadn't known this.

Emmeline nodded. "The Potters hold a Christmas party every year. My dad's known Mr. Potter for ages."

"Oh," she said, a bit surprised. She suddenly had more questions, but didn't know what to ask.

"Mum and dad have got a lot of friends," James acknowledged, catching onto her curious look. "But the parties are usually stuffy, boring dinners where everyone just gossip, eats, and drinks."

"Mia can be quite the host," Sirius added. "Ply the guests with drink and the night ends with everyone happy."

"Does the minister still go to them?" Emmeline asked. "I remember he was at the one, what, during second year, was it?"

James chuckled. "Yeah, he came to a few more. Until Mum allowed Sirius to attend fourth year. She hasn't made the same mistake again. She still sends poinsettias to Minchum. Well, his assistant, if he accepts them."

"How was I supposed to know that redertiums react badly with brandy?" Sirius scoffed. "They look like mint plants."

"You didn't," Lily breathed with a laugh. "How –?"

"Oh, he was absolutely sloshed," James confirmed. "Stripped to his pants and wore a Christmas wreath around his neck while singing Yuletide carols."

"Oh, Merlin," Lily guffawed as Emmeline gaped.

"How was this not in the Prophet?" Emmeline demanded with a laugh. "Surely Bagnold would've loved to get her hands on proof of that."

He chuckled. "Mum's very discreet about her parties. Has any cameras put away pretty early on."

"Dad would've loved to see it," Emmeline chuckled. "Use it as blackmail to get 'em to pass one or two of his proposals."

"Mia's got values," Sirius said. "Even when dealing with vapid members of the ministry."

"Did you do anything for New Years?"

Lily turned to see James's meeting her gaze. God, she wasn't prepared for this. "Oh, not really. Hung around the house."

"No other unplanned spontaneous trips?" Sirius asked with a wry grin. "Surely Potter Manor wasn't the only place you travelled to."

"You went to the Potter's?" Emmeline interjected, clearly surprised.

"Yeah – after they came to Petunia's wedding –"

"You went to Petunia's wedding?" she asked the two boys.

They simultaneously shrugged in response, nodding in the affirmative.

Emmeline gave Lily a curious look, who shrugged as well. "I thought I'd take Sirius his Christmas gift. You know, as thanks. The walkman?"

"Which, again, is bloody brilliant," Sirius said with a grin.

"I literally nicked it from Petunia's room," she said dryly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

She'd worked through her guilt pretty quickly during her cleaning phase – when she'd realized Pet had cleared out some of her old books from the hallway closet and must've tossed them in the bin. Her whole collection of Agatha Christies had been lost. "Didn't take too much thought or effort."

"Oh, like James's?"

"You got James a gift?" Emmeline cut in once more.

She shrugged, avoiding James's gaze as soon as she felt his eyes on her. "I got everyone a gift I felt fit them best."

"Gifts are one of your go-to love languages," Emmeline sighed. "I absolutely loved the bookmark. They aren't real fairy wings, are they? They're too gorgeous."

Lily grinned happily. "Hagrid helped me find them, actually. The more mature fairies tend to shed their wings in the winter."

"How'd you get them to keep their glimmer?" Emmeline inquired, reaching to grab a box of Bertie's beans. This must've triggered James's attention – he reached over, practically leaning across Lily to retrieve a chocolate cauldron. His knee pressed into hers from the nearness.

It took her a moment to recover from the distraction. "Permanence charm. Should last you at least a hundred books."

"I shall cherish them dearly, for as however long they last."

"I prefer my gift," Sirius shared unnecessarily.

Emmeline scoffed. "Of course you'd say that, you git."

All the while, Lily was emotionally spiralling, set off by the distinct smell of pine – and boy – and –

"I'll be back – loo," she said, standing and exiting the compartment.

Not wanting to be caught out like a liar, she made her way towards the back of the train towards the actual restrooms, hoping to kill time before she'd have to return.

On the way, she'd caught sight of Dorcas, leaned against Burke rather comfortably as they chatted with the other 7th Years, Frank and Alice included. That answered that question, at least.

The loos, thankfully, were empty. She splashed her face with cold water and pressed her fingers into her warm cheeks, willing the redness to go down. Deeming her appearance acceptable, she unlocked the door and exited – nearly running into the reason that caused her to run in the first place.

"Pardon." James chuckled, catching her elbow when she stumbled back in surprise.

"It's alright," she said instantly. "Wasn't paying attention. Loo's all yours."

"Actually, I wanted to – chat with you. I got you something."

"You – what?"

The corner of his mouth turned into a smirk. "I got you a gift," he repeated, shifting to pull out a small velvet bag from his cloak pocket. He handed it over.

"What is it?" she asked, near reverent, turning the small bag over in her hand.

"You usually open your Christmas gifts to find that out."

"Ha," she replied in a similar tone and used gentle fingers to open the strings of the bag, tilting it so that whatever it was inside would fall into her open palm.

Her eyes widened in surprise.

It was the bracelet, from the shop she and her mum had gone to retrieve the family pearls. Her brain short-circuited, curious how it could possibly be in her possession.

"I debated," he murmured. "Showing up at your front door, just as you did. Then I thought maybe that'd be a bit much. I'd already showed up at your sister's wedding unannounced."

"You didn't have to get this," she replied, turning it over in her hands. Was this out of obligation? But clearly this had to have taken thought… but how…?

He shrugged a shoulder. "I know. But your mum had mentioned."

"When did she mention this?" she asked, stunned.

At this, he looked a bit sheepish. "I owled. Your mum had said it was something you'd seen in the shops. It was easy enough to find."

Her eyes dropped back down onto the silver bracelet, recalling the sight of feathers and her mad dash outside (feeling slightly vindicated). "But this is too much. I only got you a beat up snitch that Hooch was about to toss out."

James laughed. "A sentimental snitch," he corrected, taking the bracelet from her palm and sliding it over her wrist in one smooth motion. "Really, it's nothing."

"Really, James, I can't accept this –"

"It's yours," he said firmly, stuffing his hands into his pockets as if hiding his hands would prevent her from forcing it back on him. "'Sides, the shop witch said no returns."

"Well, in that case," Lily said sarcastically, tracing the hard line of the bracelet. It was a simple piece of jewelry. Beautiful.

"No returns or exchanges, Evans. I'll hear no more of it."

She laughed weakly, the ball of string around her heart tightening once more. "Well, I –"

"Excuse me," a female voice said rudely. "You are blocking the door to the toilets."

They turned to catch sight of a girl, younger than them, already in her Slytherin robes, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Sorry," Lily said immediately, sidestepping closer to James to allow the girl to pass.

The witch scoffed, brushed back with a huff of annoyance, before slamming the door loudly.

"We should probably get back to the compartment," Lily said, moving back away from James.

"Right," he agreed. "Lead the way."

Feeling his eyes on the back of her head the entire way, Lily did so, tugging at the new bracelet placed around her wrist out of nerves.

What did it mean? Was his gift out of obligation? Was he only being kind, returning the gift in turn? He certainly wouldn't miss the galleons, she thought wryly, but surely he understood the weight of a gift.

After owling her mum, no less.

Just as she gathered the nerves to turn and ask – the door of one the compartments they passed slammed open – "Lily!" Dorcas called and she turned, watching as Dorcas slid out of the compartment into the corridor, brushed past James, and rushed her into a tight hug.

"I saw you pass earlier. How was your sister? What happened?"

Lily returned the hug, sheepishly making eye contact with James over the older girl's shoulder.

The corner of his mouth quirked up and he raised a shoulder, nodding his farewell.

The door he'd just passed opened and she saw Hunter, the Hufflepuff, step out, mouth open to greet him. Lily was too far to hear the words, but she saw James turn at the girl's voice and grin. This surprised her, for a moment, something about the sight unsettling.

She shook herself, turning her attention to Dorcas fully.

"Just as well as you'd expect," she said bracingly, pulling back. "Is that Emmeline in there?"

Dorcas glanced over her shoulder. "Oh, yeah, she joined just a bit ago. Danny looked quite happy to see her."

"Good," Lily said, pleased once again by their success.

"Was that Potter I caught you coming back with from the loos?"

Her cheeks flushed at the insinuating tone, glancing over Dorcas's shoulder to catch sight of him, still chatting with Hunter. His hand rose to his hair, mussing the strands.

Lily shook her head dismissively. "He was only giving me a gift – for Christmas."

"Oh, right, a gift."

"Don't start," she complained. "I don't want to hear it. He hasn't – he doesn't –" she stopped at Dorcas's incredulous look.

"You are daft."

"Dor."

The blonde tilted her head back and laughed – loudly. James caught the noise and looked over, catching her eye with an indecipherable look.

"Lily," the 7th Year said sympathetically.

She was saved from further implications by a group of 4th Years suddenly emerging from a nearby compartment, their chatter loud and obnoxious in the enclosed space of the train's corridor.

"Come on, join our compartment for a bit," Dorcas said, still sympathetic. "Seems like you could use a bit of a break."

When she sneaked a peek over Dorcas's shoulder, James was nodding to Hunter, turning his body, and it was clear the conversation was ending.

There was a small part in her psyche that wanted her to return to her compartment, sit beside James, and try to suss out the meaning behind his gift. The bracelet itself had already become a familiar weight – but the weight of James of owling her mother felt even heavier, more comforting than disconcerting. This thought was unsettling.

Hunter turned and appeared to have a pleased smile on her face, closing the door behind her. James continued down the corridor, alone.

Lily supposed she could do for some fresh air, so to say.

"Okay," she agreed, allowing Dorcas to pull her into the room with the other 7th Years.

In the next few hours, she was able to learn more about Emmeline's skiing trip – Danny asked her questions, truly interested in her family – and the others' holiday break adventures. It was nice, she reasoned, able to file away the awkward, unsettled feeling she experienced earlier when seated next to James.

Here, she could at least set aside the thoughts she hadn't wanted to outright acknowledge.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Classes resumed. The group of Gryffindors fell into an easy rhythm. The professors had obviously taken the holiday break to re-up their curriculums and syllabuses, for Lily was once again thrown into the thick of it, immediately distracted between the extra load of homework, the patrol schedule, and her extra extracurriculars.

If all of this extra work seemed to place her in the library, or the common room opposite of whenever James had been in there, well, then, that was purely coincidence.

The weight of her new bracelet was seemingly attached to her heart and stomach, the pull of it dipping at odd times.

The grin he gave her during classes also happened to coincide with a subtle swooping in her stomach.

That had to be due to her lack of poor self-care; where she'd often need to leave the Great Hall early to grab an extra inkwell or notebook she naturally needed in order to be prepared for class, her quick exits absolutely unrelated to each and every time James managed to sit next to her at the table, his knee often brushing against hers by accident. She was sure.

God, sometimes she could still feel the ghost of his laugh against her neck from when he'd fallen atop her outside of his home. If that caused a shiver – well, that was plainly due to the lack of heating in the damned castle.

She felt like she was going mental.

"Okay," Marlene demanded, two weeks into their return. "You've got to tell me what happened over break."

"I did," Lily said, laid out on her stomach while she worked on her Transfiguration essay.

She and Marlene being in the 6th year girls' dormitory was merely a suggestion; the Common Room had been crowded. She'd needed peace and quiet (having James sit next to her on the sofa definitely did not help her concentration).

She finished a sentence with flourish. "Pet got married, left for Ibiza with her sod of a husband, and purposely planned not to return until I left for here. It snowed."

"No," Marlene groaned. "Tell me what happened with James. You never owled back. I didn't find out that they actually showed up until you all got back to Hogwarts! Some best mate you are."

Lily scoffed. "Nothing happened. Really."

"I don't believe you."

"Mar."

"And while you haven't been a best mate, I think you'll find that I have."

"Oh, really?" she asked, setting down her quill. "Do tell."

Marlene sat up from her own reclined position, moving into a cross-legged arrangement with a pleased expression. "While you've been dodging and avoiding a particular, messy-haired Gryffindor boy …"

"... I have not been…"

"... I've been planning a wonderful celebration for your once-in-a-lifetime-seventeenth birthday!"

"Marlene," she warned. "Remember last year's disaster?"

"I've learned. Don't use the unused classroom near McGonagall's rooms."

"And?"

"Don't let Dorcas chug firewhiskey after she's had a fight with her current fling."

Lily snorted.

Marlene sat up. "But that wasn't my fault. How was I to know Olivia was going to break her heart upon returning from her Tuscany trip from Christmas break?"

"Still," she said plainly. "I don't need a party. I'd rather just have a relaxed night. Maybe some special pasties. Or extra Honeydukes chocolate."

Marlene groaned again. "We can't do that! We have to do something special."

"I think you overestimate my desire to celebrate."

"But everyone loves you. They're so looking forward to this!"

Lily's forehead dropped down into her essay, creasing the parchment. "'Everyone'? What've you planned?"

"Nothing big," Marlene said. "I just happened to mention that your birthday was coming up at lunch next week – and then James said –"

"James?" Lily asked, the question escaping against her will.

"James," the blonde confirmed with a sharp grin, "said they could bring in some provisions from Hogsmeade."

That made sense, more so than whatever Lily had been thinking James's involvement might be. "The next trip isn't for another three weeks," she pointed out. "How…?"

Marlene scoffed. "You know the Marauders. You don't think they can get around school rules?"

Lily grumbled, closing her book after placing her parchment between the pages as a bookmark. "I don't want to put anyone out."

The blonde slid off her bed, coming closer to sit beside Lily. "You aren't. You know how you got those boys wrapped around your finger now?"

"I do not –"

"Lily doesn't what?" Alice had appeared at the threshold, short hair windswept and cheeks pink.

"Have the Marauders wrapped around her finger."

"I do not!"

"Oh, you do," Alice responded, unwrapping her scarf and hanging it over her trunk's lid. "Did you notice they put a quick stop to jinxing that 4th Year as soon as you walked into the Common Room?"

"Because they didn't want points taken," Lily excused with a scoff.

"Remus was there," Alice pointed out.

She waved that off. "He never takes points."

"How about the fact they brought up extra pastries from the kitchens for study snacks?" Marlene said.

"That's for everyone."

"And saved you the chocolate ones?"

Lily scoffed again, feeling her cheeks flush. "I – think they're just being nice. They – felt bad about Pet's wedding. And I'm sure they're willing to provide provisions for a party, held in my name, in order to just partake."

Marlene and Alice shared a look.

"Stop," Lily ordered and the two girls rolled their eyes.

Marlene slid off of her bed. "Whatever, Lil. Sure. They're just being nice because they feel bad and not because James asked them to."

Lily pushed her book away, feeling perturbed. "I don't want to overthink their motives. I've learned long ago not to lose sleep over what those boys do."

Barring unwanted dreams, of course.

"Okay, okay," Marlene said appeasingly. "But you're okay with the party? Come on, we need something…"

"Why not a Game?" Lily said.

"Well, obviously, we're going to have a Game," Alice said, folding up her cloak. "We're just going to have a birthday party as well. No surprise. We know you hate surprises."

The redhead sighed, thinking it over. "Alright, fine. As long as it's not a surprise…"

"No surprise," Marlene agreed, already grinning.

-:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:-

"Miss Evans!" Slughorn called at the end of Potions the following morning. "A word, please, before you move onto your next class."

Lily responded with a nod, curious, but packed up her things as neatly and quickly as she could. "Sir?" she asked when she neared his desk. Most of the class had already cleared out.

"I have this for you," the professor said with a pleased grin. He held out an envelope, the Ministry insignia a beacon on the front.

"Sir?" she repeated, accepting it with no less curiosity.

"Open it, open it," he insisted, clapping his hands together once.

She did as ordered, tearing open the envelope to retrieve the letter, sliding it open and skimming its contents as quickly as her eyes would allow. "An invitation… to the ministry to visit the Department of Experimental Concoctions and Potions."

Slughorn grinned, but looked as if this was unsurprising. "I knew that our Mr. Wimble had shared a mutual admiration of the work you had put into your potion, Lily."

"This is – brilliant, Professor, truly," she said, a bit starry-eyed by the idea. The officials had been impressed enough to request her to visit their department at the ministry. Surely not a common occurrence, let alone for a 6th Year…

Slughorn was leaning over to look more closely at the letter. "The Monday after next, then. I'll easily arrange coverage for my classes."

"You'll be accompanying me, sir?"

He nearly snorted. "Of course. As your Potions Master and teacher, I'll escort you to the Ministry. Ensure that all goes well."

That felt a bit less auspicious, she thought, but she'd be grateful for his presence, she was sure. "Will… Snape be there, as well?"

Slughorn looked a tad disheartened to hear the tentativeness in her voice, but she had to ask. "No, Lily. He was not offered the same request."

This certainly balanced out her unfavorable emotions towards being chaperoned. She'd take Slughorn over Snape any day. "I'm sorry to hear that," she said, and she could tell Slughorn knew she didn't truly mean it.

Still, he gave her a fond look. "You better get to your next class before you're too late," he said with an admonishing tone, its effectiveness dampened by his expression and subsequent wink.

Lily clutched the letter to her chest. "Thank you, sir."

"What's that? A note from a special someone?" Marlene demanded with a sly grin as Lily took her place beside her in Defense.

"Actually, no," she replied mildly – as if she could handle a love letter – "It's from the ministry. They've set up a visit of sorts."

"Here again?"

"At the department in London, actually."

"That's brilliant! For your apprenticeship?"

"Yes," she said quietly, grinning, unfolding the letter and passing it over. "I'm really trying not to get my hopes up, but…"

"I thought you didn't want to be a potioneer."

"I know. But, maybe this might be really good. A back-up if being an Auror doesn't work out…?"

Marlene waved her off. "Of course you'll get into the academy. Why wouldn't you?"

"It's not like Donahue will be submitting a recommendation on my behalf."

"Donahell has no clue what makes a good Auror."

"And you do?"

"My brother –"

They were interrupted by the Defense Professor emerging from the door to his office, face grim and expression unhappy.

"It looks like another good day, then," Marlene said under her breath.

Lily was careful to hide her own smirk behind her hand.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"It's so not fair that you got to complete your apparition test already," Marlene complained that following Friday, the night of Lily's birthday. "I won't have mine till the summer."

"I'll apparate you to your favorite shop in London next Hogsmeade trip," Lily promised with a grin. "Or wait, am I allowed to if you're underage? Do I need a permission slip from your mum?"

"Har, har," the blonde sniped. "Do you want your first set of gifts for the night or not?"

"Oh, alright, show me."

Marlene led her to the table they'd set up in their dormitory, lined with chocolate and sweets. Set against the back, a small sheet was placed over a row of what – Lily could safely assume – appeared to be bottles.

Marlene grabbed the sheet with a flourish. "Ta-da!"

"Berry Ock Rot?" she asked in surprise, plucking the bottle from the array. "How'd you get a hold of this?"

"We knew it was your favorite," Dorcas said obviously.

"Actually," Marlene interjected, reaching around her to grab the bottle of Firewhiskey. "A certain Marauder knew what your favorite drink was – made sure to grab on it on their late night run."

Touched, Lily looked down at the bottle in her hands and huffed, trying to cover the show of emotion. "And risk getting caught? That doesn't seem worth it."

Marlene shrugged a shoulder. "You'd have to ask 'em if it were."

She hummed, pulling the cork from the bottle and taking a quick sip – just as sweet as she remembered having the last time.

"Or at least make it worth the risk," Dorcas said, knocking her elbow. "Want a glass – or drink straight from the bottle? It is your birthday, of course, so I'd say it's safe the whole bottle's yours."

Lily snorted. "It's 17% proof. I probably should share the bottle."

"Come on," Emmeline cut in. "The others are waiting. Shall we head down?"

It was near curfew; but unsurprisingly, the common room was still filled with quite a few other students. Streamers, gold and red, hung from the ceiling and a large banner was stuck to the stone above the hearth. Happy Birthday Lily!

While a bit disorganized and chaotic, the students (consisting mostly of the Gryffindor 6th and 7th year boys, a few 7th years from other houses, and a few 5th years confident to hang around) turned at the witches' entrance and yelled, "Happy Birthday!" at different times.

Lily laughed at the display, eyes scanning over the faces and stuttering over one in particular. James was standing near the hearth with Remus, Sirius, and Peter. He met her gaze over the cup he'd just taken a drink from, but immediately lowered it when he realized she'd been looking. He grinned, raised his cup in acknowledgement.

"Come on," Marlene said, reaching out to grab the bottle of wine from her and pushing her forward down the rest of the steps. "We've got cake!"

As she was guided – maybe more accurately manhandled – towards the low table in front of the fire, the other students broke out into a song of 'For She's a Jolly Good Fellow', all offkey and at different pitches. And while maybe she didn't like the full attention of the room, she couldn't help but laugh in amusement as her fellow housemates sang to her.

"Blow out the candles!" Marlene shouted into her ear over the sound of the serenade.

She laughed again, cheeks red from the pleasure of it all. "Alright, alright!"

Her eyes traced over the lines of icing – someone had tried to write Happy 17th across the top of it, rather sloppily, but a valiant effort.

"Make it a good wish," James said over the noise.

Reflexively, her eyes met his once more from across the table. She willed her cheeks not to redden further, but it felt like a lost cause.

She rolled her eyes. "That's the whole point!"

His grin was disarming.

Dropping her gaze back onto the cake in front of her, she used a hand to twist her hair out of the way and inhaled sharply, leaning forward to blow out the candles quickly.

The cheers rose up around her.

"Let the festivities begin!" Sirius called among the hurrahs. Someone switched on the common room's gramophone and the sound of ABBA was suddenly filling the air.

"I love this song!" Dorcas crowed, squeezing Lily's shoulder before dashing towards the magicked grammaphone.

"Cut the cake!" Alice ordered, sliding into the 7th Year's empty spot. "We got the elves to make your favorite – red velvet."

Using the knife provided, she did just that, raising her wand soon after to levitate the cut slices onto the proffered plates.

"Show-off," Sirius remarked, grabbing a plate. "This obviously means you haven't drunk enough."

"Speaking of!" Marlene said, handing back the wine bottle. "Take another swig!"

"But the cake," Lily complained, accepting the bottle anyways, taking a pull of it without much resistance.

"There's plenty," Marlene dismissed. "Come on, check out the gift table."

She was dragged away, looking back a bit despondent towards the cake.

By the time she'd consumed nearly half the bottle, Dorcas had returned and managed to convince her to dance along to Dancing Queen, before she was forced to join a game of Table Quidditch (using butterbeer, thankfully) by Marlene. She'd lost spectacularly, having been paired with Danny vs. Emmeline and Marlene. She was granted a mini-reprieve when she joined Alice and Frank by the refreshments table for a chat about her upcoming trip to the Ministry.

Flushed and content, Lily settled onto the couch before the fire, inhaling deeply and taking a moment to study the students around her, chatting, laughing, and even dancing.

All in all, she was rather pleased with the nights' outcome.

"Well, hello, Evs. Enjoying your evening?"

"Black," she greeted, just as formal. "I suppose I am."

He took the empty seat beside her on the sofa, holding his own bottle. "Welcome to the Seventeen Club."

"Thank you," she sighed, taking another sip from her goblet. "Much different than sixteen?"

"Not really," he admitted. "Besides the ability to perform magic – off school grounds, of course – at your own will, legally."

She hummed. "I think that's what every young witch and wizard wait for."

"And here you are."

"Here I am."

"Anything else you're waiting on?"

"What?"

"You know. Did you wish for anything else?"

"For my birthday?"

"Sure."

She narrowed her eyes. "World peace."

He snorted. "Peace. An ambivalent wish."

"Clever word there, Black."

"I get a bit more clever when sloshed," he agreed.

"You should consider drinkin' a bit more often, then."

"Evs," he gasped. "I'm shocked. A prefect, you are. Shouldn't condone such behavior."

She snorted. "Rubbish prefect, I am then."

"Nonsense. You're leagues ahead of Moony."

"I suppose McGonagall should probably give both of us the boot, if that's the case."

Sirius barked a laugh. "Who'll be the 6th Year prefects, then? Marlene would skip her patrols – and Merlin, could you imagine Prongs as prefect?"

The two caught eyes, considering it – and then promptly burst into laughter.

"O–oh, he'd –"

"Oh, Agrippa, Prongs w–would –"

"What would I do?" James inquired.

Lily hoped she didn't look as startled as Sirius at James's sudden appearance. They turned their heads to face wizard, standing just behind the couch where he was wearing his signature smirk and holding –

"Is that a piece of cake?" she asked hopefully.

"It is," he confirmed, tilting the plate to show it off. "Might even be the last slice."

"Oh, it can't be," she said pitifully, glancing about to find that – yes, the platter the cake had been brought on was only covered in crumbs and leftover icing. "Do y'think you might…?"

James laughed. "Only if you two tell me what I would do."

"Prongs," Sirius complained. "We can't talk about prefect business. S'not how it works."

He caught Lily's eye – and again, they burst into laughter.

James was rolling his eyes. "Guess I'll just go enjoy my cake then," he observed, using his fork to take a large bite.

"No, no," Lily pleaded, messily wiping away tears of mirth. "You can't eat it all!"

"You can't," Sirius agreed, still chuckling. He moved to stand. "Looks like there's plenty for two, Prongs. Surely you can share."

"I'm not that nice."

Sirius smirked at him, gesturing towards the spot beside her. "I'm sure you could make an exception for the birthday witch."

Dignity gone with the bottle of Ock Rot she'd been drinking, she looked up at James with a sincere, pleading look.

He rolled his jaw, clearly amused. "For the birthday witch," he allowed, already moving around to take up Sirius's empty seat on the couch. He offered the plate.

Lily ignored the sudden thump her heart gave against her ribs, reaching out to grab ahold of his fork to snick a bite of cake. She forcibly put the fact his lips had been on the same fork not a minute ago out of her brain.

She moaned, letting her head fall back against the couch. "This is so good."

He chuckled. "Red velvet's your favorite then?"

"Absolutely," she said vehemently, grabbing another bite. "Is it yours?" she asked around the mouthful, trying to save crumbs from falling off the plate.

He grinned. "It might be."

His tone prompted her to look up. She met his gaze, filled with mirth and –

She looked away, dropping her gaze into the fork. "Did you want another bite?"

"Sure," he accepted the fork from her, their fingers brushing.

She shivered. Lily, whether tipsy or not, wondered if he felt the spark ruminating up her arm.

He appeared unaffected and she watched with intent as he cut into the cake, brought it to his lips, chewed thoughtfully as he stared ahead. He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing with the movement.

God, had she noticed the skin of his neck? Why did she suddenly have the urge to –

"Enjoying the party?"

"What?" she asked, shaken.

"Are you enjoying the party?" he repeated patiently, returning his gaze to her.

"I think I might actually head up," she murmured, pressing a hand to her cheek. "I think I might've had – too much."

He scanned her face, unable to hide his amusement. "Are you feeling alright?"

"No," she said, "No, I mean. No - I mean yes." She laughed weakly. "Just too much of that Ock Rot, I think."

"I didn't think you were a lightweight," he said with a grin. The grin.

"I just – probably drank too fast," she insisted, standing quickly before she did something absurd like – "Yes, I should head to bed," she said firmly.

He stood, fluid and casual. She wondered if he was always like that – and then thought, yes. He was.

And still smelled brilliant – like pine, and wind, and everything that made her stomach flip.

He reached out to steady her, mistaking her leaning forward towards him as her swaying in dizziness.

"Oh, Merlin," she said. "I'm going upstairs. Thank you, James. For the – cake."

"Of course, Evans," he murmured, shifting to let her pass.

"Everything okay?" Marlene asked, intercepting her on the way to the dormitory stairs.

"No," she said honestly. "I've been having an existential crisis for weeks and I'm losing my mind."

Marlene's brow furrowed with worry. "Lily, what's happened?"

Lily noted the blonde's eyes were a bit unfocused, and so she didn't feel as self-conscious when she blurted (in a low tone, obviously), "I fancy James Potter."

"You what?"

Lily winced, noticing Marlene's loud exclamation had caught the attention of nearby students.

"Shut up," she hissed, glancing over her shoulder, cheeks flaring when she noticed James stood with Sirius, both of whom looked over curiously at Marlene's exclamation. "Christ, Marlene."

"You what?" Marlene demanded at a level less jarring. "You're telling me –"

"I thought you knew."

"Well, yeah, but I never imagined you'd actually admit to it!"

"Your letter over winter break! You making all those – insinuations –"

Marlene grabbed her arm and hauled her towards the stairs. "Like I said, I'd never thought anything would come of it. I wouldn't have thought it possible!"

"You don't think he likes me?" she blurted, verbal-filter evidently gone now that she'd shared her revelation. She winced involuntarily – when the bloody hell had she become this?

"Oh, for Merlin's sake," Marlene snapped. "Are you – can you really be that – you are the most brilliant witch, Lily, but sometimes you are just the worst."

Lily pressed the tips of her fingers into her temple, not disagreeing.

Marlene stepped closer, grabbing her hand away from where she was massaging her forehead. "Oh, you have to tell him. He'll go bloody – oh, Lily."

Maybe it was the petrified look on her face or maybe Marlene just knew the way her thoughts were suddenly spiraling, the blonde's mouth immediately snapped shut.

"I can't," Lily inhaled. "Not now… at least not right now."

"Lily…"

"Maybe not ever," she said vehemently, refraining from glancing towards the object of their conversation. "It – I mean, I don't –"

"Alright, alright," Marlene soothed, running a hand over her arm. "You don't have to do anything. Here, grab some butterbeer. Let's head up to the dorm – you've clearly had enough."

Using her wand – a bit recklessly, really – Lily summoned two bottles from a nearby table, nearly knocking them into the 7th year Ravenclaw who stood between her and the table.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly, allowing herself to be led up the stairs by Marlene.

"Now, tell me – when did this all start?"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Lily woke the next day without a hangover, but rather, a large migraine and a stomach full of regret. Well, maybe a bit of a hangover.

Marlene groaned from her bed. "What time is it?"

"Just past eleven," she informed her, sitting up and checking the clock.

"Thank Merlin it's a Ravenclaw – Slytherin match today," the blonde sighed, rubbing at her eyes. "How are you feeling? Like a grown witch?"

"Not much different than the day before," she said, feeling a sliver of hope that –

"Lily," Marlene gasped, flying up into a seated position. Lily squeezed her eyes shut in disappointment. "You fancy –"

"Sh, sh, sh," she said desperately, as if someone were around to hear her reveal her secret. "You can't – wait, where's Alice?"

Marlene looked over at the bed in question. "Huh. You don't think…?"

"Did she stay with…?"

"Morning, slags!" Dorcas called, slamming open the door. Emmeline followed close behind. "Got some post-birthday breakfast treats!"

"Bloody hell," Marlene snapped, rubbing at her temples. "Is it necessary to yell?"

"No," Dorcas said. "But I wanted to." She tossed a chocolate pastry towards Lily, who'd barely caught it in time.

"Ta," she said, taking a bite and humming in appreciation.

Dorcas tossed a second one towards Marlene, who snatched it out of the air with more grace than Lily had.

"What's the plan for today, then?"

"Recover," Marlene said with a mouthful.

Emmeline settled onto the end of Lily's bed. "Supposed to be a nice day – chilly, but mild. Maybe a day by the tree?"

Lily shook her head. "I ought to check my potion so it's ready for Monday. Anyone want to join me in the dungeons?"

The three others look less than excited at the offer. "Maybe you can join us after?" Emmeline suggested.

Lily chuckled, unsurprised by their reaction. "Of course."

They turned towards the door as it opened and in walked Alice, sheepish and shy.

"Well," Marlene said wryly. "Look what the grindylow dragged in."

With a brave face, Alice stepped through the doorway fully. "Morning ladies. And before you say anything –"

"How was Frank's bed?"

"It was lovely, thanks," she said, dropping her shoes onto the floor beside her trunk. "We snogged a lot and fell asleep."

"Snogged, hm?" Dorcas grinned, crossing her arms.

"Yes," Alice stressed, falling onto her bed. "He was the perfect gentleman so I –"

"Polished his broom handle?"

"Dorcas," the witches chorused in complaint.

"– So I thought," Alice continued, cheeks flushed, "that you wouldn't mind me sleeping away from the dorm."

"You missed Mar's obnoxious snoring, so," Lily said teasingly, winking at Alice. "I think you made the right choice."

"Oi," Marlene complained. "You lot missed –"

"Marlene," Lily said in panic, worried that if her friend spoke the words aloud –

"– Lily tripping over her feet and cracking her head open on the bedpost."

Lily's glare disappeared, appeased by Marlene's sheepish lie.

"Oh, bad luck," Emmeline said empathetically. "Did you get it all patched up?"

"I did," Lily confirmed firmly. "You can't even see the scar."

"Sad," Dorcas said, pushing off from the wall and heading towards the door. "Would've been a fun way to remember your seventeenth birthday."

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Retreating to the dungeons felt like the safe choice. She would be able to successfully evade Marlene's further interrogations (Lily wasn't sure how much the blonde remembered from the conversation the night before) and avoid any unwanted run-ins with –

"Knock, knock."

Lily gasped, whirling towards the door with her wand raised.

James stood, leaning against the doorframe. He pulled his hands from his pockets, raising them in surrender. "I come in peace, swear on my wand."

She chuckled unwillingly, lowering her own. "You should know better than to startle a witch."

"Yes, but I never learn, do I?" He pushed himself off the frame and Lily's eye did a cursory once over. He was wearing a pair of fitted muggle trousers, dark against his maroon jumper. The color set off his tan nicely.

She turned her back towards him to face the cauldron once more. "Thought you'd pay a visit to the dungeons?"

"Is there any better place to be?"

"Outside?" she suggested wryly, mincing another set of beetle wings. "In the kitchens? The Common Room in front of the cozy fire?"

He chuckled, coming up on her right to look over her shoulder. "You've got me there," he admitted. "But those places aren't anything fancy until you enjoy the company."

"Fair," she said mildly, using her wand to gently place the squished wings into the cauldron. "Looking for Slughorn then?"

He was so close she could feel the heat of him, the breath of his exhale as he chuckled again. "You caught me. He wasn't in his office, so I thought I'd stop by."

"Gracious of you," she murmured, adjusting her sleeves to slice a set of goosegrass roots.

She saw the moment he clocked the bracelet on her wrist, the silver set against her pale skin. Immediately, his smirk transformed into a pleased grin.

She fought against her own, feeling – once again – quite mad for it. Her hiding a smile from pleasing James Potter?

"Very gracious," he agreed, raising his eyes to her face but she was already looking away before he caught her staring. He gestured to the cauldron and her setup. "Is the artemisia helping much?"

She nodded, pleased, focusing on slicing the roots into thin ribbons. "I can't say how much I appreciate your dad giving me it. I think I've still got a mess a bit with the flame settings, but really, I think I've just about got it."

"That's brilliant. He'll be chuffed to hear it."

"You know," she said aloud, dropping the shreddings into her clean mortar. "I was hoping to ask… Remus for his thoughts on it. Maybe give him a sample?"

It was pretty much the first time they approached the topic since the whole disaster with Sirius. James hummed.

She glanced up from under the hair that had fallen into her face. "Do you think that would be… rude? Insensitive?"

"Well. He knows you're brewing this, right?" He moved to give her space, wandering around the table to study the different ingredients she had laid out.

"He does," she confirmed, picking back up her knife. "We've talked about it during patrols. In the general sense."

He appeared thoughtful. "I mean, you know Moony, Evans. I think he'd prefer you be outright honest than not. And he knows you. I don't think he'd ever be offended if offering help."

"No?" she asked, a bit relieved.

"I mean, it took us a while to get him to accept our help – but you. Oh, he'd happily accept."

She chuckled, rolling her eyes. "I just don't want him to think I'm using him. It's just – I noticed that gash on his arm last week and… I hate that. That he probably hates that." Her slices into the goosegrass became messy. "That he can't control it and that he has to have that reminder."

James was watching her intently.

"What?" she said self-consciously. "I know I started this potion trying to fix magically induced wounds, but, surely – Oh – ouch," she gasped out, having nicked the knuckle of her forefinger. "Oh, damn."

It was bleeding, quite excessively.

"Merlin, Evans," James cursed, sliding back around the table to stand at her side. "Did you cut to the damn bone?"

"No," she grumbled, dropping the knife and searching for a clean cloth. "Do you see –?"

"Here, let me," he said, holding out his hand.

A bit wary, she offered her hand, a bit guilty at the amount of blood that was gushing from the cut.

The skin of his hand was warm, his fingertips rough against the back of her palm where he held her fingers open. His wand was already poised without her noticing. "Acusutura," he cast, twisting the tip of his sharply over her gash.

The skin stitched back together neatly, effectively stopping the flow of blood.

"That's a new one," Lily remarked in a complimentary tone.

He waved his wand a second time, banishing the blood. "Learned it just a week ago," he said wryly, pulling her hand closer to study the spellwork.

Perhaps a bit involuntarily (if you'd have asked her later), she took a step nearer to him, not yet retrieving her hand from his grip.

She stretched the knuckle. "I'd give it an O."

He smirked. "Maybe I should be the one training to be a healer, since you've given it up."

"You, Potter? Healing? You know jinxing and hexes aren't a part of the job responsibilities."

"Ha," he said sarcastically. "I think you'd find I'm very handy with healing charms."

"I suppose you do have some knowledge about herbology, I've recently come to learn."

"Exactly. I'd say Mungo's would accept my application as soon as I submitted it."

"Doesn't Pomfrey need to sign off on those?"

"Oh, bugger," he grinned slyly. "Suppose I've probably caused her enough grey hair she might not give her endorsement, eh?"

Lily laughed. "Start helping her with brewing pepper-up potions and I'm sure she'd make an exception just for you."

"Sound suggestion, Evans. Besides, she knows I've got a wonderful bedside manner."

The space between them seemed to have evaporated awfully fast, Lily suddenly noticed. The heat of him, easily detectable in the cold dungeon, was enticing. She shifted closer, suddenly unable to look away as she smirked, opened her mouth to say –

"What the bloody hell are you doing?"

Unfathomably, Lily jerked away from James as if they'd been caught doing something improper.

"Snape," James said coolly. "Can we help you with something?"

"What are you doing?" Snape demanded, furious, but the question t was directed towards Lily.

"What do you mean?" Lily retorted, holding back a wince at acting dumb.

"With – with Potter?" he spat, James's surname flung as if it was pure grot. "I told you, over and over."

"Snape," she muttered in annoyance.

"He's only going to hurt you," Snape continued. "Play you for the dumb bint, who willingly –"

"Snape," James warned.

"Just go," she added, instantly weary.

Snape shook with fury. "Lily," he fumed.

"Leave," she commanded.

Snape looked as if he was going to argue further, gazes flitting between the two of them furiously. His lips thinned, eyes narrowing as he opened his mouth and then snapped it shut. He pivoted, turning on a heel and exiting the door.

The small potion-mixing room fell silent.

"So you've talked about me," James commented with a sly grin, obviously trying to ease the tension that was suddenly between them.

Her mood had already been soured. "I should probably focus on this – potion," she said softly, facing back towards the table.

"Evans," he said chidingly, but she remained steadfastly focused on picking back up her knife, setting aside the goosegrass that had blood spilled on it to be burned.

"I'll see you later, Potter."

Though she could not see his face, she could tell by his posture he was reluctant to leave.

Thankfully, though, he read her own countenance with accuracy. She watched from the corner of her eye as he backed away, stuffed his hands back into his pockets.

"See you," he murmured, voice rueful.