Chapter Fifty Six:
Eventually Luke stirred, and he returned to his speeder, heart aching and his mind trying to put things together. He glanced at the speeder Ignis had borrowed, and then at the now-empty landing pad. Luke felt bad for the owners of the ship, and yet... he could not bring himself to incriminate Ignis. Not until he had all the facts.
Luke had felt Ignis' fear, his dread: something that was not directed at the Skywalkers, but at Vexa. And yet... despite that fear, Ignis had returned to his tormentor.
Why? Why hadn't Ignis let them help him?
Luke turned away from the balcony and left in his own speeder. It was dark now, and the lights of the city glowed as if nothing untoward had occurred. He flew back to the building in which was found his and Leia's homes. Luke parked the speeder and got out, walking slowly to the bank of turbolifts. Luke waited silently for one to arrive, and when it did, he sent it to Leia's floor.
Luke's footsteps grew heavier as he neared Leia's door, and he paused outside before finally knocking. The thing opened almost immediately, and Leia stepped aside to admit her brother.
Mara was awake, with Kodai held to her chest. Sitting on either side of her were Emry and Ben. Shmi stood rigidly by the couch, sensing the tension but not knowing why it was there.
Luke sighed. "Let's go home guys." He turned to Leia. "Thank you for everything. I... will explain later, if you don't mind."
Leia eyed him, but nodded. "Take your time, and let me know how I can help."
Luke offered a small smile, and then helped Mara usher their children back to their own home. Once they were inside, Shmi spoke.
"Dad, what is going on?"
Luke flinched, but then looked to Mara, who nodded. Across their bond, husband and wife agreed that their children had a right to know.
"Everyone please sit down." Luke indicated the couch.
His children obeyed, the three sitting together while Mara remained standing near Luke. She still would not let go of Kodai, and Luke did not blame her. Luke reached over and tenderly stroked his son's hair, thanking the Force for Kodai's safe return to them.
"Oh hey," Emry said, starting to shift off the cushions, "Ignis isn't out here, I can go get..."
"That won't be necessary, Sweetie," Mara said softly.
Emry paused. "Why not?"
"Because Ignis isn't here," Luke answered, figuring that this was as good an opener as any.
His three children offered various expressions, though it was Emry who spoke.
"Well, where is he?"
"He went back... to his master," Luke whispered, his heart clenching again.
Ben straightened. "What master?"
Luke met his elder son's gaze. "Do you remember what I told you about Ignis' past?"
Ben nodded. "He comes from a... horrible place."
"Yes." Luke affirmed. "And now he's gone back there... though I don't know entirely why."
"Wait, so Ignis is... really gone?" Emry asked in a small voice.
Her parents both nodded, and Emry's eyes widened.
"For good?"
"We don't know," Mara murmured.
Shmi looked to Kodai, then her parents. "There's more, isn't there? Ignis didn't just go away."
Luke mentally applauded his daughter's sharp mind, though he did look to Mara once more. She offered her free hand for support, which Luke gladly took.
"Ignis kidnapped Kodai." Luke informed his children. "And he was trying to take him back to his master..."
"What?!" Ben cried.
"Who is his master?" Emry asked before anyone else could speak.
"Vexa Wran is Ignis' master," Luke said, trying to remain emotionless.
Emry paled, and had to take her inhaler. Ben went completely rigid, and Shmi sat back in shock.
Ben was the first to break their silence. "But you got Kodai back, obviously."
"Actually, Ignis returned him to us." Mara corrected. "We do not know why he took Kodai for Vexa, but in the end, Ignis didn't go through with Vexa's orders."
Ben's eyes narrowed and his face turned a darker shade. "So I was right before when I was hesitant to trust him. I see it now: Ignis kept trying to push me away because he knew what he was going to do." Ben abruptly stood. "And I trusted him still, despite it all. I even called him brother!"
Ben fled from the living room, as swiftly as his crutches would allow. Luke called after him, but his son didn't answer. The boy's door shut loudly and then there was silence.
Emry began to weep. "Does this mean that Ignis is a bad person?"
"No," Shmi answered. "He just made a mistake, because clearly he is mixed up in something."
Emry frowned, confused. "I don't understand."
Mara sighed and moved to sit next to Emry. "Sweetie, Ignis... he has done things under orders from Vexa. But I don't think he obeyed her because he wanted to be a bad person." Mara looked down. "I remember when I was the Hand for Emperor Palpatine. With someone like that, you don't really tell them no."
"But Ignis did say no, when he returned Kodai, right?" Emry asked.
"Yes, he did." Mara admitted. Now that she wasn't so angry and worked up, Mara was able to realize that Ignis had defied his master after all.
Emry looked like she did not know what to think. Luke offered a hand and Emry took it, allowing her father to pull her into a hug.
"I don't want Ignis to go away," Emry whispered, her eyes spilling over, "I love him."
Luke's heart clenched more heavily, and he struggled to remain strong for his little girl. Luke knelt before her, gently shifting a lock of her wavy hair behind one ear.
"You have such a strong heart, Emry." Luke smiled gently. "Even after you heard what Ignis did, you can still say that you care for him."
"Ignis made a mistake," Emry said, "but maybe he didn't mean to hurt us? I mean, if he'd really wanted to do it, would he have given Kodai back?"
"Probably not." Luke allowed, kissing her cheek. "Why don't you go get ready for bed?"
Emry nodded; bid her parents a sullen goodnight, and left. Shmi remained on the couch, clearly thinking things over.
Shmi looked to her parents now. "I... I can't hate Ignis, even now. My gut tells me there is more at stake here than we know."
"We know there is too, but Ignis would not tell us what that something is." Mara rubbed her forehead wearily.
"Hey!" Emry's voice sprang out suddenly, making the three startle in surprise. "Look what I found on my bed!"
Emry approached bearing a folded bundle in her hands. "It's got my name on it!"
While the other's looked on in curiosity, Emry unfolded the sheets and looked upon the top one. She said nothing for a moment, and then her face split into a warm smile, and she actually held the page to her heart.
"I knew I was right. Ignis didn't want to do what he did."
Luke and Mara exchanged a look, and then Luke approached. "May we see, Emry?"
Emry hesitated, but then nodded, handing Luke the top page. He turned it over and saw a drawing of Ignis and Emry. Both were on the couch, though Emry leaned against Ignis' side, and he had an arm about her while she slept. And the Ignis on the page looked upon Emry with open, brotherly love.
Mara looked over Luke's shoulder and frowned. "When was this?"
Emry looked up from the second page. "The night I had my nightmare about... the museum collapse. Ignis was up also, and he helped me feel safe again. I asked if he would stay with me like in the rubble. He didn't want to be inappropriate, so we simply sat on the couch together."
Luke hadn't known about that incident, apparently. "I'm sorry we weren't there to help you, Emry."
"It's alright," Emry said simply, though she was again looking to the second page she held. "Ignis was able to help me."
Luke admitted to further curiosity and he came closer. "What's on that one?"
"A letter to me from Ignis," Emry replied distractedly. "Do I have to share this one too?"
Luke paused. "Not if you don't want to."
Emry hesitated, and then looked to it. "I... I guess you can see it."
Luke frowned. "Sweetie, if you would rather we don't, then we won't."
Emry shook her head, handing the document over. "I want you to see what I do, Dad. Ignis is not evil."
Luke gingerly accepted it and began to read, with Mara once more looking over his shoulder.
Emry,
I want you to know that you were the first person to touch my heart in many years. You know of Anya by now, and Bo, but what you do not know is how many barriers I put around my heart to protect it from further harm. But in a matter of days, you managed to find your way through these and warm my heart. Thank you for that.
You have such a sweet soul, and a caring spirit. Don't ever lose that, because it makes you unique among an otherwise cold and bitter galaxy. Don't get me wrong, there are good people out there, but there are also a lot of bad people. Some are worse than others. The galaxy needs your inner light, more than you know. And I need it too.
You've given me moments of happiness, and I needed that, very much. You called me friend almost from the start, which declaration took me by complete surprise. With where I come from, such a concept was laughable to me. Who could possibly make friends immediately? But you did, and you meant it. And it made a huge difference.
You are very much like your father, who is a noble and caring man. Always listen to his counsel, and know that he loves you more than he could ever express. Look at what he did when you were trapped in the rubble. Luke never rested until you were safe.
I am sorry that what I have to do is going to hurt you. Please know, that even with that, that I do care for you. I've grown fond of you, and I might even call it love, if I knew what that was. I've been deprived of it since before I was old enough to recite the basic alphabet. I think it is love that I feel, and if so, then so be it. I hope, once you learn the truth about me, that you can still know that I do love you.
Always be you, Emry, and never take the cruel words of others to heart. They're just jealous of a shining star like you. You will one day be an amazing Jedi Knight, and you will bring with that such light and joy.
Goodbye Emry... and thank you for helping me start to feel things again.
~Ignis.
Luke handed the page back to his younger daughter, unable to speak. He turned away, moving to the window and staring out it.
Mara murmured something to Emry, and Luke heard her leave again. Shmi approached Luke now.
"Dad..."
"Shmi, I am sorry," Luke whispered, "but I need some time. Please Sweetheart."
Shmi stopped, nodded, and also went to her room. Mara eyed her husband, caressed him through their bond, and went to put Kodai to bed.
Luke let himself onto their balcony, and settled into the place where Ignis had always sat.
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Ben, in his own room, had likewise found a folded offering, and as soon as he touched it, he knew in the Force who the item had come from. But, still feeling angry and betrayed, Ben brushed it off the bed to land on the floor under his nightstand.
Then Ben got dressed for bed and merely laid down, trying hard not to feel the way he was. But he could not stop his mind from replaying events of the past few months.
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Shmi entered her room to find Emry hanging her drawing up over her bed where she could look at it while lying down. When Emry spied her sister, she pointed to Shmi's bed.
"He left something for you too."
Shmi blinked. "He did?"
Emry nodded, pointing again before returning to her task. Shmi watched her, and then Emry left to brush her teeth. Shmi only then moved to her own bed. Sure enough, on the covers were three packages.
Shmi noted that while one bundle bore Shmi's name, the other two were for Anya.
If I have to go away, will you deliver... to the recipients?
Now Shmi knew what Ignis had truly been asking of her. Apparently Ignis had changed his mind somewhat, and had delivered most of the items himself. Shmi picked up the two Anya packages, and placed them in a safe place so she could keep good on her word to Ignis. She would find a time to deliver those things to Anya.
Shmi then looked to the remaining bundle. Emry re-entered their room then, and gently embraced Shmi from behind.
"Are you mad at Ignis?" Emry asked timidly.
Shmi bit her lip. "I... I am shocked, but I don't think I am angry at him. I think he was hiding more than just Vexa from us."
"Did you ever sense the strangeness about him?" Emry asked.
Shmi frowned, turning and looking to Emry. "The what?"
"There were a few times, when Ignis let his guard down, that I thought he felt... strange." Emry explained. "I didn't openly sense him in the Force, but like that night on the couch, I thought something was odd about him. But I couldn't pinpoint what. It's like an odor you can smell, but you can't find the source."
Shmi knelt before her younger sister. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"Well, I thought I was just experiencing glitches in my Force-sense or something." Emry explained. "You know, students do experience that sometimes when they're learning. I didn't think it was anything important."
Shmi blew out a breath. "I hope it wasn't."
Emry tilted her head. "Shmi, what if... what if I had said something? Would that have changed what Ignis did, do you think?"
Shmi shrugged. "I don't know. But don't beat yourself up either. Come on, time for bed."
"Are you going to read your letter too?" Emry asked sleepily.
"I still need to get ready for bed." Shmi deflected. "Goodnight."
Emry sighed but didn't argue. Shmi left the room to do her bedtime routine in the refresher now too. She took her time, hoping that in doing so, Emry would be asleep before Shmi returned. Unlike Emry, Shmi was not so open about things. Especially things of the heart.
Shmi was hurt that Ignis had taken Kodai, and yes, even a little upset. But Shmi had the distinct feeling that Ignis had done so under duress. That feeling was— at least in part— coming from the connection she and Ignis had accidentally formed when Ignis had been in the underlevels with Ben.
That connection had been lighting up ever since Shmi had been handed Kodai from Luke. Shmi had begun to realize that she was sensing things from Ignis, his emotions leaking through. She didn't think he was aware of it occurring, but it had.
Shmi was worried for Ignis, and she already found herself missing him.
Shmi lingered in the refresher as long as she could before trekking back to her room. Thankfully Emry was now asleep, and Shmi quietly drew on her night clothes before settling down into a seated position in her bed. She pulled the covers over her legs and then held the bundle, gazing at it.
Her bedside lamp was still lit, so Shmi could see just fine. With an air of caution, Shmi opened her package and saw that, like with Emry, Ignis had drawn a picture for her. Shmi looked to it, and despite everything, couldn't help but smile.
It was actually two drawings in one. Half of the page was of Ignis and Shmi, goofing off like they were as close as siblings. The lower half was of the two of them, side by side in front of the stained glass window in the Jedi Temple's Great Hall.
Shmi gazed at it for a long time before she mustered up the courage to read her letter.
Shmi,
How can I possibly tell you how I feel, when I don't understand it either? I love you, but not in a romantic way. In fact, the very idea of romance between the two of us disgusts me on a base level. But you are as dear to me as a sister. I do not understand our connection, but I've grown to appreciate it. You make me come alive in a way nobody else can. You seem to know what I need, when I need it. You get my humor, and you have never judged me.
The day we met, I confess I felt something odd, but I figured it was just the circumstances of our meeting. Now, perhaps I can admit that it was something more. But somehow, even though I know what I must do, I feel like I can inherently trust you, Shmi. I tell you, even with Anya, I have never felt that way immediately with anyone.
So if you are not a romance for me, and yet you make me feel this way... then what does that make us? We are more than just friends, but how could it possibly be anything greater? We are not related.
You are deserving of the title Jedi Knight, Shmi, and I hope that you accept it. Stop holding yourself back, please. You have such great potential, you already have a depth of knowledge, and you are far more capable than you think you are. Your parents taught you to trust yourself as well as the Force. When you follow that counsel, many doors will open for you.
And if that's not enough to empower you, then know who you are: the daughter to the two most formidable Jedi Masters in this galaxy. True, Mara is not your biological mother, but her influence on you has been vast. Never forget to appreciate your mother and father. You don't know how precious it is to have parents until they're gone from your life... forever.
Please always be you, Shmi. Don't ever change. You have as noble a spirit as your father, and yet as fiery a one as Mara. That's a stellar combination, and one that makes you one of a kind. You have always been so kind to me, and for that I thank you. I hope I was able to help you when you needed it in turn. I tried my best.
I also tried not to love you or your family, because I knew one day I must say goodbye. I really hate goodbyes. But despite my efforts, I do love you. I am sorry for hurting you as I will be doing soon.
Please, try to remember the good I did instead of the wrong I will commit.
~Ignis.
Shmi closed her eyes and took several deep breaths, and she felt her very spirit seem to weep at Ignis' absence.
Emry had asked Shmi if she was angry. Shmi shook her head. No: she was not. If Shmi could look upon Mara and not judge the woman for being Palpatine's personal servant, then could she now frown upon Ignis for being in the very same predicament?
But even so, Shmi clung to the fact that she knew something was off about Ignis' situation. But how could she ever figure out what, now that he was gone?
Shmi had a thought and left bed. She padded quietly to Ignis' room and let herself in, closing the door again once inside. Shmi walked about the space quietly, noticing how the room looked as perfect as it had always looked, even with Ignis living there.
Shmi went to the closet and found it still held most of its clothes. But the boots were gone, as was one pair of pants. Shmi sighed and finally sat upon the bed. When her eyes landed on the bedside table, she leaned down and pulled open the drawer.
Shock engulfed her to find that Ignis had not taken his drawing pad with him. Had he simply forgotten it? But no, Ignis had never gone anywhere long-term without the item. So why would he have left it behind?
Shmi pulled it out, and as she did, something heavy and metallic slipped off it and hit the base of the drawer with a thunk. Shmi winced, expecting someone to come investigate the sound, but no one did.
Relaxing, Shmi pulled the item out, and discovered Ignis' lightsaber. He apparently did not want this piece either. Shmi wondered if Ignis had left it for a specific person?
She thought of Anya, and of how the girl had been training with a lightsaber lately. But Anya had always used Mara's blade, not having one of her own. Shmi decided that she would offer this blade to Anya to use now.
Shmi then looked to the drawing pad in her grasp. She had not seen inside the book, and still she hesitated out of respect for Ignis' privacy. It was tempting to view the contents, but finally Shmi decided against it.
As she replaced the item into the drawer, Shmi felt her sorrow return. She closed the drawer, looked to the bed, and gently ran a hand over the pillows. She missed Ignis... the boy she knew was her brother. Shmi had no physical proof, but she believed what the Force and her gut were telling her.
Shmi determined in her heart that she wanted to help Ignis... somehow. She loved him too much to just abandon Ignis. But what could she possibly do? And would she receive the support of her parents in this desire? She knew her father had tried to help Ignis, but would he do so now?
Shmi knew she would not get any answers tonight, so she returned to her own room and went to sleep.
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Mara finished getting Kodai to bed, part of her still not wanting to let him go for fear that he would slip away again. But she chastised herself and left the baby to his slumber.
Upon entering the room, she had immediately noticed packages for her and Luke on the bed also. She now picked up hers, and held it within her grasp. But Mara wasn't ready to look upon whatever Ignis had given her. She was still thinking over what Ignis had said during their chase earlier.
Why couldn't Ignis reveal Vexa or what other secret he held? What had stopped Ignis from saying Vexa's name aloud?
But that topic wasn't what really got to Mara; what had pricked her conscience. No, it had been Ignis' accusation.
You of all people should be able to empathize with me... Emperor's Hand... You remember what it was like to follow orders you may not have liked...
Yes, Mara recalled a few missions that had given Mara pause, but she had ultimately fulfilled Palpatine's orders out of loyalty to him. And out of fear of punishment should she fail.
You and Ignis are alike, Anya had said, and now Mara more fully understood what the young woman had meant.
Ignis was in servitude to a master that he wanted to get away from. And yet, unlike Mara, Ignis had not taken the opportunity to get away when Luke had offered it. Ignis had instead returned like an obedient, frightened pup. But why? Why, when the hand of freedom had been extended to Ignis, had he shied away from it like it was a plague?
Mara had seen in his eyes that he had wanted to accept, and yet he hadn't. There had been a deeper, stronger emotion behind the desire, one that had urged Ignis to refuse.
Mara began to feel the papers in her hands as if they were gaining weight. Mara looked upon them... and caved.
She unfolded she sheets and found herself unexpectedly touched. Upon the first page was an image of a younger Ignis, probably about thirteen. He was battered and bruised, and held a lightsaber in his grasp. But above Ignis' head, in a thought bubble, was Mara's profile. It was clear from Ignis' expression that he wanted to be like Mara, and was gaining strength from her story.
Mara blew out a shaky breath and slowly moved to the next page.
Mara,
You have been my hero since I heard your story. My master mentioned you once, and I looked you up in my spare time. And once I had realized who you were, I took to learning everything I could about you. You are the only person I've ever considered a hero. Once I knew your story, I saw the similarities to my own, and I drew strength and courage from you. Whenever I was struggling, or ready to give up while training, or while learning a new skill, I would think of you and I would pull through.
And when I found out that I was about to meet my hero— which they say never to do— I was nervous and excited all in one. I was about to meet Mara Jade! And I am grateful that you turned out to be exactly who I thought you would be. You're every bit as fiery and intelligent as everyone thinks you are. I am glad to have met you in person.
I must now apologize, for I realize who I am about to do wrong by, and I am... uneasy about that. I don't want to do what I was sent to do, but I must. If I do not... I will suffer in ways that you cannot possibly understand.
Do you know what part of your personal story inspires me the most? Your taking the steps to win your freedom from your own master. That cannot have been easy, but you managed it. I have tried, more than once, to follow in those footsteps, even before I knew about you. But each time I was brought back to my master, and every time the punishments got more and more severe. Then, when I was fifteen, I tried one last time... and now I will never be free of her. Ever. She ensured that intimately.
Mara cast her thoughts to Samanda's comments. "I heard whispers... that when Ignis was fifteen, Vexa put something inside Ignis to ensure he never tried anything like that again." So now Mara had two accounts of that same possible incident. That was not a coincidence, and Mara did not believe in those anyway. Nothing happened by chance.
Mara returned to the letter.
I am so sorry for what I am about to do. I truly do not want to, but my fear of my master drives me. She is a woman with no conscience, and she is the very definition of cruel. In fact, she makes Darth Vader look friendly, at least in my opinion. Then again, I did not grow up under that man's shadow, so perhaps he was worse. Who knows? But I heard that at least Lord Vader had lines he would not cross. My master doesn't even have those.
I... will tell you her name in this letter, and I will risk instant punishment in doing so, but you deserve to know.
Her name is V- there was a smudge as if Ignis had jerked, and his stylus had made a mark accordingly.
Vexa... another, deeper smudge, this time followed by a tiny tear in the paper. Wran.
The rest of the letter was done in handwriting that was clearly worse than before Ignis had written the name Vexa Wran. Mara's mind was again drawn to when Ignis had jerked upon saying that woman's name.
You and I are more alike than we know. Only, I am not as strong as you. I have not broken free, and I know I never will. Not on my own anyway. But I cannot stay among your family. They are too precious, and I am a very grave threat to you all.
Ignis' handwriting got progressively worse from this point on, so much so that Mara had trouble making out a few of the words.
I want to thank you for your hospitality. I really enjoyed getting to know your family better. And you. You are an excellent mother, and I do not think you have gone soft at all. If anything, motherhood has made you stronger, because now you have children to protect. Force help the person who crosses you as a mother. Force help me for doing so.
I am sorry again. And... I do want you to know that if I ever got the chance to have a mother again... I would love for it to be you. But that is forward of me, I know, and I am sorry. But I can't help it. I've grown to love you, even though I spend more time with Luke.
You are amazing, and I am lucky to know you.
Goodbye.
~Ignis.
Mara set the letter in her lap, a slew of emotions coursing through her. She was still upset over Ignis' betrayal, and yet... the Hand in Mara was determined to get to the bottom of Ignis' final mystery.
Mara replayed the facts she had in her head: his sudden jerking and silence when he had tried to say Vexa's name in the alleyway. There was also Ignis' apparent jerking motions, and then trouble writing after the same thing in his letter. Next was his insistence that he was a threat to their family, no matter what. Then there was Ignis' declaring that he could not reveal Vexa or his final secret. Finally, Mara noted Ignis returning to Vexa even when his chance at freedom was well within his grasp.
Mara deliberated, eventually recalling when Luke had told Mara that Ignis was certain that there were ways to control a person. Ways that were virtually unknown.
Speaking of Luke... Mara felt her husband in their bond and her heart ached for Luke. Of all of them, Luke had grown the closest to Ignis, and Mara knew that Ignis' actions today had hurt Luke deeply.
Mara checked on Kodai once more, and then went to the balcony herself. She found Luke in the very spot that Ignis had usually occupied, and Mara blew out a soft breath of air. Without a word, Mara sat next to Luke and rested her head against his.
Her husband did not move for a long time, but eventually he stirred. "I don't understand why I hurt so much, Mara."
Mara turned her head to look at him. "Ignis betrayed us, Luke."
"I know," Luke said, "but for me... it's so much deeper a wound. And I cannot figure out why that is."
Mara contemplated. "Luke, I think it might be time you seriously considered what the Force has been trying to tell us all along."
Luke swallowed. "I think you're right. Like Ignis, I've been avoiding this topic because it frightened me."
Mara ran a hand through Luke's hair. "You don't have to figure everything out right now, Love. Allow yourself to grieve, and then start to move on. I think you need to allow yourself to feel what you feel in order to gain any ground."
Luke nodded. "I am grieving. But I am also deeply confused about how else I feel. I'm a little angry, I'm hurt, and I am sad. But I am also suddenly lonely. I miss him already, Mara... I feel like part of me has suddenly been lost."
Mara hummed. "It's high time you started finding some answers."
Luke had to agree. "Yes, but I cannot do that here."
"I know," Mara murmured. "For now, however, try to get some sleep. Come on, you'll get too cold out here."
Luke did not argue. He stood, pulling her up with him. Once they were inside their room, Luke moved to the crib and gazed openly at his baby boy. Open love poured from father to son, and Luke finally bent to kiss Kodai gently on the head.
"I love you, Kodai." Luke breathed. "My sweet boy."
Luke pulled away and prepared for bed, finally joining his wife under the covers. They snuggled into each other for both comfort and warmth.
"Goodnight, Luke."
"Goodnight, Love," Luke replied, hugging his wife a mite tighter and kissing her head.
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Anya had wept until she couldn't anymore, and then had spent the remainder of the night pacing her room, deep in thought. Ignis had sacrificed himself for all of them: Anya and the Skywalkers. Yes, he had taken Kodai, but Ignis had ultimately decided to refuse Vexa's orders... at his own peril.
Anya wrung her hands, trying to think of any way she could prevent this. Or at least help him break free once he was in Vexa's clutches again.
Over and over, Anya heard Ignis' pleas for her to stay out of it, to steer clear of the cruel Twilek woman. But Anya was done simply hiding away and wasting her life. And, as she had claimed before, Anya was through allowing Vexa to treat Ignis the way she was doing.
Anya had little field experience, however, and she didn't know where to start. But she was determined to do something. Anya took a deep breath, feeling her resolve harden to match what she had seen from Ignis many times.
With only some hesitation, Anya dressed for the day and swept from the room. She hailed a cab outside and flew to the Skywalker household.
It was only when she stood at their door that she felt the first stirrings of doubt. Anya had wronged them also by remaining silent about Ignis' master. But the family did not know what she did about Vexa.
Anya noted that it was late enough into the morning that everyone should have been awake by now. Lifting one hand, Anya knocked and waited.
After a few moments, the door opened, and Mara's face greeted Anya. The younger redhead gathered her courage.
"Hi Mara." Anya greeted somewhat timidly. "May I speak with you and Luke?"
Mara gazed upon Anya for a time, and then stood aside, admitting her. Anya thanked her and took the first seat she could. She could sense the melancholy in the home, and it made Anya feel worse.
Mara went to another part of the house, and it wasn't long before she reappeared, Luke with her. Then Shmi arrived, and her face actually lit up somewhat to see Anya.
"Anya, what can we do for you?" Luke asked politely.
Anya took a deep breath, puckering up her courage. "I'm here to ask for your help in saving Ignis."
There was a moment of utter silence, in which a bantha could have strolled through the room unnoticed. Luke looked away, while Shmi seemed to perk up somewhat.
It was Mara who spoke, however. "Please explain."
Anya nodded once and did so. "I first must apologize. I... I was aware of Ignis' master. She is the one who sent Ignis to kill me all those year ago. And it is she I have hidden from ever since."
"Why did you keep quiet if you knew who Ignis really was?" Mara asked mildly. "You knowingly came into our home and let Ignis be with our children."
Anya cringed. "Yes, I did. And that is something I have to live with. But you deserve to know my reasoning. I... I did not know why Ignis was on Coruscant, and when I asked him about it, he refused to bring me into it. He was just trying to protect me. But you see, recently... Ignis told me that Vexa had found out that I was still alive. She used me against Ignis, among other threats that are very much real."
Mara and Luke exchanged a look.
"Once again, why didn't either of you come forward with this information?" Mara asked.
"Ignis did, in his own way." Anya reminded them. "I know he probably asked you to look after me. But regardless..." Anya looked down. "Ignis and I have been so alone, for so long, that it is hard for us to change old habits. I know you don't want to hear what may be excuses, but it's all I can offer you. We did not choose our circumstances; nevertheless they are what they are."
"We still could have helped both of you." Luke spoke for the first time.
Anya managed to meet his gaze. "I am asking you for help now, Master Skywalker. Is it not better late than never?"
"Not in this," Luke whispered back.
Anya sat back, stung. "Perhaps when you hear the rest of what I have to say, you will change your tune. Ignis was infected with what is by all accounts a parasite. He's got a living creature inside his head... ready to take over his mind at Vexa's command."
Luke and Mara both offered dubious expressions, though Anya noted that Mara's was a little less suspicious.
"A living creature... that can control Ignis?" Luke clarified, doubtful.
"Yes," Anya said simply.
"That..." Luke shook his head. "I am sorry, but I cannot buy that."
Anya decided not to be offended. "I understand that you do not want to believe this, but it is nevertheless the truth. I also know that the creature I speak of— it's some kind of squid— is exceptionally rare. There is next to no information available about them."
Shmi startled. "Did you say squid?"
Anya nodded, frowning at Shmi somewhat. "Yes, why?"
"When I was being held by Kavis and his father, Kavis said something about a kind of squid." Shmi explained. "I can't recall what he said about it, or what it was called specifically."
Anya considered that. "I hope this doesn't mean what I think it does."
"And what is that?" Mara wondered aloud.
"That Kavis somehow had a hand in the squid being placed in Ignis," Anya murmured. "If that is true and Ignis finds out... he really will kill Kavis."
"I am sorry, Anya, but I just... can't accept this... claim," Luke said, trying to be diplomatic about it.
Anya closed her eyes. "You wouldn't be the first. The only other person I went to with this claim tried to admit me to the mental institution on his planet. That is another reason I stayed quiet. Look at you: you don't believe me even though you can feel in the Force that I speak honestly."
Anya stood. "Regardless of whether you believe that or not, please at least help me free Ignis from Vexa. He sacrificed himself for all of you... for Kodai... and for me."
Mara stepped forward. "Sacrificed how?"
"If Ignis does not return to Vexa with Kodai... she will activate the squid, which will in turn take over his mind, and prevent him from acting on his own. He will be her literal puppet, and she can order him to do anything, and he will be forced to obey. It will not matter if he wants to or not. He will have to do it." Anya looked to the growing number of Skywalkers. Ben and Emry had at some point joined the adults.
"That is why he left you all, why he would not stay. He did not want to continue to endanger you. He loves you all." Her voice grew quiet. "He finally learned to love again... he finally let someone into his heart. And now he goes to his demise." She took a shuddering breath. "Ignis is about to lose the last remaining part of himself that is still him."
"Ignis lied to us and then stole Kodai," Ben said in a dark voice.
"Yes, he did," Anya agreed, "but only about being Vexa's servant. He truly does care about you all."
"Then he should never have let me call him brother!" Ben snapped, his eyes moistening. Luke laid a comforting hand on Ben's shoulder, and Anya sighed.
"If it makes you feel any better," Anya whispered, "Ignis tried his best to not let you in. He did try to keep you at arm's length."
"Because he knew why he was here." Ben argued. "And he hurt us anyway."
"He would have hurt you far more by staying." Anya assured the child. "If Ignis had stayed and Vexa activated him, she would have aimed him at all of you, and he would have been powerless to stop himself from doing whatever she told him to do. Even if it meant killing you all."
"I've heard enough." Luke declared. "I am sorry, Anya, but Ignis... made his choice. And I have a family to care for here."
Anya gazed at him. "You won't even try to help him?"
Luke's eyes narrowed to dangerous slits, and Anya actually back-stepped. "I offered several times to help Ignis. He would not let me do so."
"Out of fear!" Anya cried, starting to get desperate. "Please, help him now, like you've offered to do! This is the chance you have wanted!"
Luke turned his head away. "I cannot help him right now. I am sorry Anya."
Anya stared at him, unable to believe what she was hearing. Finally she nodded slowly, her eyes hardening.
"If that is your decision, I will accept it, Master Skywalker. But I will not just sit by and let Ignis suffer in my behalf... not anymore. I will find him, and I will help Ignis if it is the last thing I ever do. If I have to search until I have gray hair, I will."
With that, Anya swept from the house, struggling with both anger and sorrow.
Inside the home, Shmi looked between the closing door and her parents.
"Mom... Dad... we can't just do nothing." She pled quietly. "Ignis..."
"I've made my decision, Shmi." Luke cut her off firmly. "You do not have to like it."
Shmi knew Luke was hurting, and he was struggling to come to terms with everything. But still, this was not like her father, and it stung Shmi deeply. She looked down, her mind whirling, and then she remembered something. She ran to her room, and retrieved the bundles for Anya, as well as the lightsaber Ignis had left behind. Shmi hid the lightsaber and then showed the bundles to her parents.
"Ignis left these for Anya; may I get them to her?"
Luke eyed them and then nodded. He still had not looked at his own, finding it to be too painful to do that right now.
Shmi left the apartment, hurrying to catch up with Anya. She found the young woman just leaving the building. Hustling to catch up, Shmi managed to do so before Anya hailed a taxi speeder.
"Anya wait!" Shmi called.
Anya turned, looking to Shmi with bloodshot eyes. "What is it, Shmi?"
Shmi took Anya's arm, and led her aside. "I believe you, and I want to help."
Anya straightened. "Really?" Then she frowned. "Your parents agreed to let you come along?"
"...no." Shmi admitted with some regret. "But I need to help Ignis too, regardless of how my parents feel about him right now. I know there is more going on with Ignis, and I believe your claim on the squid. I will come too."
Anya stared long and hard at Shmi. "Are you certain? Because once I start... I am not coming back unless I absolutely have to."
"I'm sure." Shmi declared. "Besides; you need a ship, and I have access to one."
Anya pursed her lips. "What ship?"
"Dad's skiff. It's perfect for what we need to do."
Anya hesitated. "You're going to steal from your own father?"
"I'm going to think of it as more of borrowing," Shmi corrected, "with the intention of eventually returning it."
Anya's brow lifted, and even Shmi cracked a tiny, crooked grin.
"Oh Force, I have spent way too much time with Uncle Han." Shmi admitted.
Anya laughed, grateful for the tension breaker. "Okay Shmi. I will gather supplies, and meet you tonight in your family's hangar bay."
"Make it a little after midnight." Shmi told Anya. "And I promise I will be there."
"I trust you," Anya murmured.
"And these are for you," Shmi offered the packages, "from Ignis. And take this lightsaber."
Anya took the papers with reverence, but hesitated on the lightsaber offering. "I don't know about that one Shmi."
"You will need it, and I can help you practice." Shmi declared. "Besides, this will probably just go back into the training vault and collect dust otherwise. At least this way it can be helping a good cause."
Anya considered, and finally accepted it. "Alright."
"I'd better be getting home." Shmi pulled away. "See you tonight."
"Bye." Anya watched her friend go, and an unexpected sense of camaraderie touched Anya's heart. So this was what it was like to have a loyal, human friend.
Anya smiled again, softly, and returned to the Jedi Temple to pack her belongings and then prepare for the trip as promised.
00000
"Well, that about does it, Captain Solo." Jarren wiped his hands on a rag. "Want to fire her up and see?"
Han nodded. Normally, Han refused to allow anyone he did not know and trust to work on his ship. But Han felt a sense of urgency that kept growing for reasons he did not understand. What he knew for certain was that he wanted to get this squid information to Luke, and in turn help Ignis.
"Chewie, wanna do the honors?" Han asked, and the Wookiee nodded, leaving to enter the cockpit.
Han held his breath, and breathed a sigh of relief when the Millennium Falcon started up like nothing had gone wrong before.
"She almost sounds like she did when I owned her." Lando commented, fondly patting the ship's bulkhead.
"She sounds wonderful." Han agreed, offering a hand to Jarren. "Send the bill to me, and I'll get it taken care of when I get home. I'm sorry to run, but I really need to get back."
"I understand." Jarren took the offered hand. "Safe travels, all of you."
The rest of the group said their goodbyes and then Jarren left, moving to a safe spot from which he could watch Han's ship depart. Han took the helm and lifted the Falcon from the ground, thanking the stars for his ship's repairs.
"Is everyone settled?" Han asked.
[All set, Captain,] Lumpy replied.
"Inputting the coordinates for Coruscant now," Lando said as Han flew them towards open space.
[It will be good to be back.] Chewie commented.
"Yeah," Han murmured. "I just hope everything is alright."
The others looked to Han; he could feel the gazes of Lando and Lumpy on the back of his head. Han did not speak until he could see the blackness of space.
"I've had this growing sense of dread for the last day now." Han admitted. "But I don't know why."
"Why haven't you said so?" Lando inquired.
"Because I didn't want to worry anyone, especially when we already had enough on our plates in getting the bird back on line," Han answered. "Either way, we will find out whether or not I'm imagining things when we get back."
"Well, coordinates are set," Lando said. "So whenever you're ready..."
Han nodded, doing one check of the systems before he reached for the hyperspace levers. "Here we go."
Seconds later, the stars became starlines, and the Falcon leapt into hyperspace.
00000
Shmi waited until her family was all deeply asleep to leave her bed. Shmi changed swiftly into regular clothing, and then pulled out her duffel bag and packed what she felt she would need.
Shmi worked in silence, regularly checking the awareness level of her family members. It was her father she was most concerned about catching onto Shmi's actions. But he remained blissfully under the pull of slumber.
Once Shmi was done packing, she grabbed her lightsaber and then opened her bedside drawer. Opening the false bottom inside it, Shmi pulled out two weapons Mara had gifted Shmi for her previous lifeday: a small knife and a hold-out blaster.
Shmi put them inside her bag for now, and then shut her drawer once more. She then pulled out a folded sheet of flimsi, setting it on her pillow so that it was easily seen. She had prepared the letter while her family had been preoccupied with watching a holo. Her mother had thought it could help take their minds off of things for a brief time. Shmi had declined, saying that she didn't feel like watching anything.
The young woman felt her heart grow heavy as she moved exit the room, but she put that out of her head. She had to be strong now; for Ignis, and for her family. They needed Ignis in their lives; even if some of them did not want to admit to that.
Shmi did gaze upon her sister before shutting the bedroom door, and she smiled softly at Emry.
Then Shmi left, letting herself out of the house with ease, and she made her way to the hangar bay as promised. She found Anya already waiting for her, a bag of her own packed, and a crate loaded with food and water in her grasp.
She also bore an expression of determination.
"You sure about this, Shmi?" Anya asked once more. "I mean, really sure?"
"I have to do this, Anya," Shmi said fervently. "I need to for myself, for Dad, and for the rest of my family. I just hope they aren't too angry at me for just... leaving."
Anya bit her lip. "This will likely change the dynamic of your relationship. I mean, you have probably never done something like this before."
"No, I haven't." Shmi admitted. "Which is why I can do so now: they'd never suspect it from me."
Anya studied her friend, and finally stepped aside. "Let's get going then, before anyone figures out what we are doing."
Shmi had to agree, and she stepped forward to open the ship. She let Anya in first and then she followed, sealing the ship behind her.
"I usually take the top bunk." Shmi informed Anya, gesturing to the rear of the vessel, where the sole cabin was.
"Alright, I get bottom then," Anya said without complaint, "here, let me take your gear too."
"Thanks. I'll get the Nebula warmed up." Shmi moved to the cockpit as Anya took both their bags to the cabin, and the crate to the galley.
Shmi worked with practiced motions to start up her father's ship. Anya was in her seat and strapping in before the ship was fully warmed up. She looked to Shmi.
"Do you fly this with Luke a lot?" At Luke's name, Anya's sense deepened with sorrow.
"Dad and I have taken the Nebula out a few times, yes," Shmi replied, glancing to Anya and then softening her tone. "Please don't be mad at my father."
"I am not angry, just... a little disappointed," Anya murmured. "Luke is known for being compassionate and willing to help those in need. And as he said, Luke offered to help Ignis. I just don't understand why, when that offer is finally accepted, Luke refuses."
Shmi opened the hangar bay doors and flew outside once the ship was ready. Once they were pulling for space, she spoke. "He... just needs time to cope. But when he does, and he's back to his usual self, nothing will stop him from doing what he knows he needs to." Shmi smiled warmly at Anya. "Trust me: when Dad is back to his usual self... Vexa won't know what hit her. In the meantime, Ignis does need us to help him, since Dad can't right now. And Mom needs to be with my siblings, so I can't expect her to drop everything right now."
Anya sighed. "You're right. And I can't expect Luke to just... get over losing Ignis, especially after Ignis took Kodai. And I feel bad about not saying anything either, but I am so scared of Vexa. Even now, I fear her. But I am determined to save Ignis, regardless of the cost to myself."
"Because you love him." It wasn't a question.
Anya smiled warmly as the stars came into clearer focus outside the atmosphere. "I do love Ignis. We shared our first kiss last night."
Shmi looked to her friend. "Really? What was that like?"
Anya's eyes twinkled in a way Shmi had never seen from the red head before. "It was utterly amazing. I didn't realize until that moment how long I'd been waiting for him to do that."
"I have pretty much no experience with romance." Shmi admitted as she continued to pilot them. "I've always been so focused on my studies, and I honestly haven't had any interest in starting up a relationship."
"Don't rush it," Anya cautioned, "because sometimes it's better not to have such feelings. Especially when you are all alone, and the boy of your dreams cannot be with you. Even if it's not his fault, it still hurts to be separated."
Shmi eyed her friend. "How long have you loved Ignis?"
"For a while now." Anya admitted. "It began as seeing him in a different light, and it slowly grew into what we have now."
"Maybe someday I will find what Mom and Dad have," Shmi murmured wistfully. "But at the same time, I'm a little wary of dating. What if the boy isn't really interested in me after all?"
Anya blew out a breath. "Just be careful what you give him, and don't rush things. If it is meant to be, then it will be. I firmly believe that."
Shmi looked to the sensors when an alert chimed, and changed the topic. "We're at the jump point. Where to first?"
"Where was it that your father met Ignis?" Anya asked.
"Orinda."
"Let's begin there, then," Anya said. "We will see if we can't pick up his trail at all, or maybe a few clues."
Shmi nodded and set about inputting the coordinates. "Orinda it is then. Do you really think he will leave tracks for us to follow?"
"No." Anya admitted. "Ignis is excellent at what he does. If he does not want us to find him, then we probably won't. But I am not going to let that stop me."
Shmi finished setting their jump and then turned to her friend. "I am beginning to see more of why Ignis loves you back."
Anya offered a grateful smile.
Shmi made sure both of them were strapped in and then sent them into lightspeed.
00000
"DADDY!"
Luke's head came up from the pillow at Emry's anguished cry, and he fought to focus on her in the first disorienting moment of waking. Sunlight poured into the room from the window, and Luke squinted against its brilliance. He only then realized how late it was into the morning. With a grimace, Luke sat upright in bed. He hated sleeping in so late, because it was a waste of the day's hours. But every now and again his body simply demanded more sleep of him than usual.
"What's the matter, Emry?" Mara asked, already awake as well.
"Shmi is gone!" Emry claimed, her face red and her eyes shining with unshed tears.
Luke was awake with that single comment. "Gone where?"
Emry sniffled, lifting something within her grasp to his eyelevel. Luke's breath caught in his throat, and he waved Emry forward. His youngest daughter did so, climbing on the bed and snuggling with Mara as Luke took the item from her.
Luke read the page and paled, his heart sinking. "Mara..."
Mara heard his tone and scooted closer. He turned the page so she too could read it.
Mom, Dad,
I know you will probably be upset with me, but I have to go. I have to help Ignis, and that means going with Anya. This is wholly on me; she did nothing to invite me along, so don't be angry with Anya. I'm sorry I had to do it this way, but I thought you would try to stop me if I asked permission first.
Dad, I know you hesitate to accept what Ignis is to you and me, but I cannot. I... know in my heart of hearts that Ignis is my twin brother. Somehow I know it's true, even if I don't know how that can be reality. You taught me to trust the Force no matter what, and also my gut. I am choosing to do that now... and I implore you to do the same.
I am borrowing the Nebula, and I promise to take good care of her. I am not sure where we will begin, or where our journey will lead us, but I will not quit on Ignis. I cannot hate him, nor am I angry. I believe what Anya said about the squid, and I do not think that she is making that up. Why would she? Of all the things she could have said; why, if she was trying to get us to help, would she use such a crack-pot story? She wouldn't: Anya is too level-headed for that. Besides, we all felt that she wasn't deceiving us in that.
I love you all, and I am sorry to just leave. But I can't let Ignis just... suffer. I know he took Kodai, but I also know he gave him back of his own free will. Ignis then went to Vexa, knowing that he would be punished. He chose to suffer himself instead of putting Kodai through that life.
I will return home as soon as I can. Please try to understand. And trust that I can handle myself. You both taught me all I know, plus I have had many lessons from my gaggle of loving uncles. I am well-set, I believe. Maybe this is naive of me, and I am acting in the rashness of youth, but I must do it nonetheless.
Dad... I think it is time that you sought out your own piece of mind. I know you need to before you can make any other decisions. Please take the time to do this. Do it for yourself, if for no other reason.
I love you all.
~Shmi.
"Luke..." Mara breathed. "What if they encounter Vexa?"
Luke ran a hand over his face. "I can't believe she would do this. Shmi, of all people."
Luke was silent for a long minute, and then he curled his fist, feeling a stirring of anger. "Blast it! Not her too!"
Luke left the bed and paced to the refresher, where he shut the door with more force than was required. He stood there, trembling, until he felt like he needed an outlet. Luke did not want to harm his family, however, so he would go to the Jedi Temple.
Luke swept from the refresher and spoke to his wife. "I'm going to the Temple."
He grabbed up a pair of workout clothes, changed in the refresher and was out the door minutes later. Luke managed to keep his head for the drive to the Jedi Temple; he even remained civil when greeting the security guard posted outside the door.
However, once Luke was locked inside one of the practice rooms meant for lightsaber use, he let loose. Luke activated three floating practice droids and set them to his usual level. He poured himself into the workout, deflecting any attack sent at him by the remotes.
Two droids attacked his front while a third aimed for Luke's rear. Luke delved into the Force, allowing it to guide his hands and feet. He dodged one blast, then redirected another, and another.
Right, left, front, back, back, left, front...
Luke lost himself to the workout, leaping over one attack when a remote dipped low and shot at his feet. He then leapt up and over that remote and moved to slice at it. The object sensed him and zipped clear just in time. Luke now had all three shooting at his front, and Luke welcomed the difficulty level of their continuous fire.
Luke pushed forward, forcing the remotes to back up. One split off from the group and tried to flank Luke, who wasn't having any of it. Luke grabbed it in the Force and threw it back with its friends.
The droids continued to attack Luke, randomizing their attack patterns to make it a challenge.
On and on this went, Luke's frustration building to dangerous levels until, at one point, he let out an inhuman cry. And with it, his anger finally burst forth. In the blink of an eye, all three droids were in smoking heaps on the floor. Luke breathed heavily, his entire frame quivering.
Then something in him shifted, and Luke dropped his lightsaber. As soon as the hilt left his grasp, the blade deactivated. Luke followed the hilt to the floor, his knees connecting one by one.
Luke's chest hitched, and he did not fight the flow of tears that burst forth once more from him. So now Ignis was gone... and so was Shmi.
And Luke felt like he now had two large holes in his chest where both teenagers should have been. Why? Why did Luke feel Ignis' loss as much as he did Shmi's? Why did the fatherly part of him ache to hold Ignis and keep him safe from Vexa, even in the face of Ignis' betrayal? Why hadn't Ignis allowed Luke to help him?
And why hadn't Luke taken the offer when Anya had given it to him?
What was this connection Luke, Ignis and Shmi shared? Why was it so potent? Why did Ignis glow whenever he was deeply connected with the Skywalker family in the Force?
And where would Luke find his answers?
Luke recalled Mara's counsel to grieve, and he let himself do so, weeping again until he felt like he couldn't any longer. He then collected himself and shifted into a meditative pose. Luke took a deep, shuddering breath and opened his mind to the Force, asking it for direction.
For once, the Force responded, and a face Luke had not seen in many years came to him.
Corsair?
Luke frowned. What did Corsair Atriedes have to do with any of this? But the more Luke pondered this, the more it made sense to him. Corsair was Venussia's father, and Venussia was Shmi's biological mother. And if Shmi's claim of being a twin was accurate, then that would mean Venussia would also have to be Ignis' biological mother.
Luke also sensed that while Shmi was gone, his daughter was on a journey that she had to take. The Force assured him that Luke would reunite with his daughter in time, but that he first had to get his banthas in a row.
Luke knew it was correct: he had to sort himself out before he could be of any help to anyone.
Luke felt no further insight from the Force, so he pulled away, opening his eyes and taking several calming breaths. Luke released his anger into the Force and knew it was time to go home.
Luke cleaned up his mess first, and then left the Jedi Temple.
