Wonderful Christmas Time

The moon is right. The spirits up. We're here tonight and that's enough.

Simply having a wonderful Christmastime.

The party's on. The feelings here that only comes this time of year.

Simply having a wonderful Christmastime.

The choir of children sing their song.

Simply having a wonderful Christmastime

Paul McCartney


Jon was not the artsy type, and he definitely was not the crafts-y type, but he found himself sitting at the kitchen table amidst piles of paint, plaster, popsicle sticks, and other assorted craft supplies that he didn't know the names of. Shawn, who also wasn't the crafts-y type, was carefully following Audrey's directions on ornament assembly and seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself. Jon did the best he could to follow Audrey but was better suited to handing supplies to them than anything else. But Shawn wouldn't let him off the hook entirely and made him participate in making a few of the ornaments with them. He didn't enjoy doing things he wasn't good at.

He struggled to glue two popsicle sticks together.

It wasn't until they made pomanders that Jon felt confident in what he was doing. Sticking cloves in oranges was something he could do without any problem. Although he did need some help tying the ribbons around them.

Shawn was oblivious to his struggles, assuming his caretaker was being, in his words, a "grinch". Audrey noticed but didn't draw attention to his weaknesses, choosing instead to find something he was better suited for.

Which, he felt, wasn't much.

Later, after all the ornaments were made, Jon was tasked with hanging the pomanders while Shawn and Audrey cleaned up the kitchen. The house was now thoroughly decorated from floor to ceiling just like Shawn wanted. There were snowmen and poinsettias, Santas and snowflakes, and various holiday knickknacks all over. The centerpiece in the living room was the Nativity scene that Shawn spent over an hour meticulously setting up.

And then rearranging. Multiple times.

That irritated Jon in a way he couldn't explain.

When they finished the house, Jon was still cynical about the holiday that didn't hold a lot of meaning to him. Shawn didn't know this; he was afraid it would ruin the perfect Christmas he promised to give him if the teen knew. He tried to tell Audrey on more than one occasion, but she was excited as Shawn was and he did not want to disappoint her either. Occasionally, the anti-holiday attitude got away from him in moments when he felt inadequate.

Shawn noticed, of course, and took great delight in calling him Scrooge or the Grinch. Frank Cross became a favorite after they watched Scrooged one night. When he grumped back at the teen, Shawn was thrilled thinking that Jon was playing a part for him.

He wasn't but he didn't correct him.

Jon stood in the living room and inhaled deeply as he took in his surroundings. His initial thought about the decorating (that he wisely kept to himself) was that the house looked like Santa's elves had broken in and puked all over the place. As soon as he thought this, he caught sight of how happy Shawn was. Audrey was even happier with Shawn's joy than she was with the way the decorating turned out.

Shawn brought their ornaments carefully laid out on a tray and set them on the coffee table. As he and Audrey began to hang the decorations on the tree, Jon stood back with his hands in his pockets watching them. A strange, unsettled feeling draped over him as Shawn and Audrey laughed and teased each other. It was like they'd forgotten he was there. That feeling pressed heavily on his shoulders and he squirmed under its intensity. It wasn't until Shawn wrapped an arm around Audrey and told her how happy she was that she'd stayed, that he realized that he could walk out the door and they wouldn't notice.

The feeling of being left out dug into his neck and forced him to stare at the floor. He knew they wanted him involved, but he was so reserved that they went on around him. Now he didn't know how to join in, and he felt it was too late to do so.

Jon was so immersed in his gloomy thoughts that he never saw Audrey leave the room nor did he see her walk up behind him. Her slim arm slid around his waist and startled him. With his hands still in his pockets, he turned his head to look at her. She was leaning her chin against his shoulder, gray eyes shining in the lights of the Christmas tree. She held his ornament up to him.

"Hang just one," she entreated. "It's my favorite."

There was no way he could say no to her, so he took his little tree ornament with the crooked frame and tried to hang it at the back of the tree, but she pouted until he hung closer to hers and Shawn's ornaments in the front.

That can't be her favorite, he thought. She's just bein' nice. It surprised him that his thoughts weren't quite as dark as they had been before he hung the ornament. In fact, that feeling of being inadequate and left out was slowly being pushed out by something else.

"Is it too late to make a Darth Vader ornament?" Shawn asked, stepping back to scrutinize the tree.

"Yes!" Jon and Audrey answered simultaneously.

Jon looked at her and they laughed together. He felt the weight lift more. With each ornament hung a lightness filled him until he forgot about his previous feelings of insufficiency and displeasure in himself.

From that point on, he willfully dropped his attitude and disappointments of Christmases past to fully join in with Christmas present. When he did, he saw that the house was nothing like the cold, store bought, professionally set up Christmas displays he grew up with. Their decorations were mismatched and imperfect, too much of some and not enough of others. But everything was done by them and for them.

If Jon was being completely honest with himself, this was the Christmas that he wanted when he was nine- the Christmas he never got. It was family doing the holiday activities together; the people he loved with him actively engaged with each other.

It was not being alone.

For the first time in an exceptionally long time, he wasn't going to be alone for Christmas. He'd never admitted to anyone that being alone at Christmas bothered him or that it drove him to make some extremely poor decisions during the holidays.

When Shawn finally showed them the ornament, he had picked out in Glen Mills, Jon then realized how much things had changed for both. The ornament was a clear heart, framed in white poinsettias that were tied together at the top with a white bow. Hanging from the bow were two hearts. Etched in the glass were the words:

Our First Christmas Together

1994

Both he and Audrey knew the ornament was actually meant for a newlywed couple, but neither said a word about that as Audrey hung the ornament in the heart of the tree- exactly center, a place of honor amongst the others. Jon rearranged the lights so that they illuminated the heart and made it glow. Shawn stood between them, his arms around them both, looking so happy.

This was not the same kid he took in seven months ago.

That kid would not be standing here with them doing what other kids his age wouldn't want to do for the most part. But then seven months ago Jon himself wouldn't have been leading family festivities in any form. Seven months ago, he would have been horrified by the thought of such a thing. But now standing there in the living room with Shawn and Audrey he finally had to admit that this- a family- was what he really wanted, and he hoped that every Christmas going forward would be like this one.

"What did you do?" Jon asked Audrey after Shawn had fallen asleep during Ernest Saves Christmas.

She was sitting next to him on the couch and twisted around so she could better see him while trying not to disturb Shawn.

"What are you talking about?"

"This," he said waving his hand around at the decorations. "Those ornaments got some kinda mind control devices in 'em or somethin' that makes people feel all Christmassy?"

Audrey laughed, thinking he was joking, and turned back to her normal position. Leaning her head against his shoulder, she said merrily, "Are you trying to tell me that the Grinch's heart is starting to grow?"

Jon put a hand on his chest feigning offense. "Wow, that's as bad as bein' called Scrooge. Grinch? Really?"

"Shawn said it," she teased lightheartedly. "I saw the eye rolling and heard the grumbling while we made ornaments."

"I have zero artistic skills," he said with a frown. "You and Shawn were all excited about whatever you were doin' and I couldn't glue two popsicle sticks together."

Audrey turned her head to rest her chin on him and regarded him with a quizzical look. "I didn't know you were feeling left out."

"I don't know how to decorate," he continued as that grumpiness began to return. It was disconcerting how it seemed like she could read his mind at times he didn't want her to. "I can't even hang lights without gettin' tangle up in 'em."

"Jon, no one can," she assured him. "Christmas lights tangle just by looking at them. I think they're made that way."

He folded his arms over his chest and hunkered down into the couch. "I don't know how to do any of the stuff on Shawn's list. You're doin' it all."

This comment bothered Audrey a great deal. She never meant to take over. She only did so because she thought that he wanted her to. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No," he let out a sigh and leaned his head against the back of the couch. "No, I just wanna…I just wanna…" He couldn't get his thoughts out and in frustration popped his fist against his thigh.

Audrey didn't understand where his annoyance was coming from. Other than a few episodes of grumpiness, she thought he was doing an excellent job with everything Shawn wanted.

"You did a great job outside with the lights and the reindeer and angels in the front yard. Mrs. Dupree was very happy with what you did." This was no exaggeration either. Her landlord was so thrilled with his work that she wanted to enter the house into a decorating contest. "She wants to hire you for next year."

There was no change in his mood. Audrey felt terrible that she upset him so much and tried to explain, "When I was growing up the outside was Dad territory and the inside Mom territory. I guess I just reverted to the way things were when I was a kid. I'm sorry."

Jon didn't know anything about the mom and dad aspects of Christmas preparations. His father was never at the house during the holidays. He paid professionals to do anything that had to be done. His mother was too busy with social events of the season to be home and hired out everything to be done inside.

"I want you to do the stuff you're doin'," he told her, leaning closer to her. "I just didn't do anythin' at all on the inside."

"You set up the tree. And you are really good in the kitchen. I appreciate you taking over dinner tonight."

Jon shrugged again unhappy with himself. There wasn't anything too terribly difficult about making Cowboy Casserole.

"Why are you upset?"

"I dunno," He shook his head. "I wanted this so much when I was a kid. It just feels strange now."

It was a lame explanation, but there was no way he could tell her how much he'd changed over the last seven months, how much he'd changed in the four months, how much he'd changed in the last week, how much he'd changed in the last hour.

Or how much he wanted a family of his own.

"Jon?"

He looked at her and felt a deep sadness wash over him, knowing that the family he really wanted wasn't possible to hold onto after December was over. He didn't believe for a minute she had said anything to Shawn about him. The teen was so determined to get them together that he had the tendency to stretch the truth when it suited him in the matter.

"I just wish it could be Christmas every day," he finally admitted so quietly that she could barely hear him.

But she did hear him.

With a small smile, she hugged his arm tightly before slipping her hand into his.

"So do I."


The word is out about the town. To lift a glass, don't look down.

Simply having a wonderful Christmastime.

The choir of children sing their song they practiced all year long.

The party's on. The spirits up.

We're here tonight and that's enough.

Simply having a wonderful Christmastime.


Super fluff resumes in the next chapter as Shawn and family visit the Christmas Village and get nearly get caught by Mr. Feeny.

Thanks for reading. I hope you're enjoying it.

Every comment, etc. is very much appreciated.