Chapter 16:

Dimitri

Mia was drowning another Strigoi as Mikhail quickly staked him. I saw Sonya standing by the foot of the stairs, with her hands stretched out. She seemed to be grabbing something, but I had no idea what, until she clenched her hands and I heard the Strigoi that was still against the wall- hanging a few inches off the ground by seemingly nothing- that I understood that Sonya was holding him with Spirit.

I got up and focused on the remaining Strigoi so Mikhail and Mia could help Rose. I groaned through the pain. My fight with the earlier Strigoi had left me with a bruised kidney for sure, a broken patella and a possible concussion. But I ignored the pain and I was as quick as ever to fight the Strigoi. Being one on one with a Strigoi was so much easier, knowing I had other people watching my back, meant I could focus solely on the Strigoi in front of me. His grin fell away knowing he was facing me alone. I didn't know if this Strigoi knew who I was or had just seen what I could do but he certainly wasn't as cocky anymore.

I dodged his latest strike, seeing it come a mile away, I bent down and slipped underneath his defense as I rammed my stake upwards into his chest. He fell down and I was just in time to retrieve my stake from his chest before he hit the ground.

Then I moved towards the Strigoi Sonya was still holding against the wall. I could tell it was a strain on her, so I made the kill quickly and cleanly. She had positioned the Strigoi perfectly. His chest was wide open and she had even adjusted the body so his height was in perfect striking position for me.

Once Sonya realized the Strigoi had stopped struggling she let go of her magic and the Strigoi fell down to the floor like a sack of potatoes. It was almost comical if it hadn't been so bloody.

My Strigoi all taken care of, I checked to see how Rose was doing. Mikhail and Mia were standing on the side just watching Rose. I didn't understand why they weren't helping her until I watched her too. She had one Strigoi by the neck, she had climbed on his back, her legs around his waist and her hands on the side of his face.

"Get her off, get her off!" The one she was taking a piggy back ride from was screaming. He actually seemed afraid. It wasn't until Rose gave a good jank and his head came off did I understand why.

Rose jumped off of the Strigoi as his body plummeted to the floor, his head a few feet away. I noticed the other bloody corpse on the ground now. She had staked him, but she hadn't been satisfied with one thrust. His chest cavity was wide open, his eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. It reminded me of the first time I encountered a Strigoi after I was restored. I had been in such a rage I hadn't known when to stop.

And that is what was happening to Rose now. Rose had jumped off of the Strigoi body and landed in a crouch, almost like an animal. No- exactly like an animal. She looked around the room, looking for her next prey.

Mikhail and Mia weren't getting anywhere near her and I think that was wise. Mia had seen something similar in Rose when she had killed the two Strigoi in Spokane, but Mikhail had yet to witness Rose like this.

I had seen her like this once before too. After Jesse. I looked towards Sonya in a silent question and she nodded. Rose was taken over by darkness. I had to stop her, but how? Also she was taking down Strigoi left and right, I might want to wait before stopping her.

To our calculations there should be one or two more beside the last Strigoi that Rose was engaging, and decimating at the moment. I took control of the situation and instructed Mikhail and Mia to check the rooms upstairs. Sonya stayed behind with me and Rose.

I turned around slightly to ask Sonya what we should do when the last Strigoi had come out of a back room. and he wasn't alone. The last thermal heat signature had been a feeding victim, although victim wasn't really the word I would use here.

Once the Strigoi had left the human male to check out the noise, the human followed him, trying to beg the Strigoi to keep biting him. By the multiple neck wounds I would say he had been bitten enough for tonight.

The backroom was closest to me, so I put Sonya behind me, making sure she wasn't in Rose's path before I engaged the last Strigoi. He had just fed and was strong. But we had come too far tonight to let the last Strigoi take us down. So I gathered what little strength I had left and attacked him. I noticed despite his strength his technique wasn't really something to write home about. He must be responsible for the money. But he was old and that made him a difficult opponent.

But luckily I had a spirit user by my side, she didn't have enough strength anymore to lift up the Strigoi and pin him like she had done the other one, but she had enough strength to momentarily hold him while I rammed my stake into his chest, piercing his heart.

I turned around to see Rose just finishing off her last Strigoi, but to my horror Rose wasn't done. The human feeder had wandered around the bodies, utterly distraught that the source of his high was taken away. Rose was in such a rage that she couldn't differentiate between friend and foe anymore. She was just killing.

"Rose, No!" But it was too late. She pushed him against the wall with the force of her stake in his chest. He was alive for a few more seconds, looking into Rose's eyes in horror and maybe a little relief. Whatever the feeder was conveying in his last seconds in this world, it seemed to snap Rose out of her rage.

Once the body slumped to the floor, Rose went with him. She grabbed her knees as she curled up into a small ball, slowly banging her head against the wall.

"Head, heart, keep going until you see the red disappear. But there was no red. No red."

Mia and Mikhail came down from checking upstairs. They looked down at Rose mumbling 'no red' over and over again. But like a true soldier Mikhail first debrieved me, recognizing me as next in line for command. "No Strigoi were upstairs, a few bodies and two live ones… and a whole lot of money"

I nodded. "Check downstairs too, then call the Alchemists."

"Maybe we can-" Mia started, she seemed a little hesitant to talk. I wondered if it was me. She never had a problem with telling, or yelling anything at Rose. I turned towards her, giving her my undivided attention.

"You know…the money is just sitting there."

My first reaction was to be appalled and to chastise Mia. That was blood money. Earned in drugs and human trafficking and what not. I didn't want that kind of money. But leaving it to the Alchemists also wasn't ideal. Although working with the Alchemists was essential, I didn't trust them one bit.

"How much is there?" I asked. a few thousand and I wouldn't worry about the Alchemist doing something nefarious with it. But more than that and I didn't want it falling into the wrong hands.

Mikhail shrugged. "I don't kn-"

"About three hundred grand." Mia interrupted Mikhail. We both looked at her a little funny. Mia just shrugged. "What? I am good with money."

Three hundred thousand dollars. That was a lot of money. But I couldn't make that decision right now. I needed to help Rose. I didn't want to debate the rights and wrongs of taking money from criminals and murderers.

"I'll leave that up to you" I said to Mikhail as I moved towards Rose. Sonya was by her side, trying to soothe her. She was rocking back and forth.

"How is she?" I asked Sonya, dreading the answer. She looked at me and then back at Rose.

"I need something made of silver. I can't snap her out of it. She needs some healing first, some continuous healing."

Mia volunteered a bracelet. "It was my mother's. So don't lose it, okay? I will want it back."

Sonya nodded, took the bracelet and charmed it with spirit. The process seemed awfully simple. She closed her eyes and it was done. No light, no sparkles, and yet, the silver now contained healing energy that would hopefully bring my Roza back to me.

Sonya put it on Rose and the moment it touched her skin she looked up and she seemed a little clearer. She was still disheveled. It was obvious she was distressed- other than just surviving a fight with eleven Strigoi-, but she looked a little better. I moved towards her and took her in my arms as she started to sob. I just let her. This was a much more healthy reaction to all of this than the rage fueled by darkness.

Rose clung to me and seemed obvious to her surroundings. I wondered if she even knew Sonya, Mikhail and Mia were here.

"Why are you here?" I asked Sonya but she just snorted.

"You are terrible liars."

I shook my head. "We are great liars, just not when a spirit user is involved."

She laughed. "We knew you two were going at it alone, but staying and arguing wasn't gonna work, you both are so stubborn. So we just waited for you and followed you in."

I smiled. It was very dangerous but I was grateful. We would have been monsterfood if not for them.

"I think we need to get out of here before the Alchemists show up."

I nodded, agreeing with Sonya. I looked down at the bodies, particularly one body.

"They won't be able to tell the difference. All Strigoi turn back to their original race when dead. They will destroy his body with the rest of them." Sonya answered my unspoken question.

Although collateral damage is to be expected in battle, it would launch a formal investigation for Rose and she really didn't need another black mark on her record.

"You should go back to the hotel. Did she ever lose it like this before?"

I nodded remembering Jesse.

"How did she get back then?"

I blushed, thinking about what had come after. How I had gotten her back by loving her, by promising I would always be there for her, by worshiping her body-.

"Okay… I get it." Sonya almost screamed, drawing me out of my memory and blushing even more. "She just needs to take it easy for a bit and keep the charm on. And stop taking darkness from Lissa!"

Yeah, as much as I wanted that to happen, I knew that was wishful thinking. I think half the time Rose didn't even know she was taking it.

"We'll go get Lissa's sibling and meet you back at the hotel. You tell Hans about the mission and together we will go to Court."

A solid plan. I just hoped it would be on time. Rose had said that the vote was in a couple of days, but how long would it take to convince someone to dive head first into Moroi politics. And all that while not knowing who attacked Lissa yet.

Rose

I cried silently on the bed with a warm body pressed against me, creating soothing circles on my back. I had no idea how I got here, but I knew one thing. We were alive and we were alone.

I turned towards Dimitri and he smiled down at me gently. I turned away not feeling like I deserved the smile I got. I got up and walked towards the window. The curtain was open so the afternoon sun illuminated my face. It was afternoon already?

Dimitri stood behind me.

I finally know how he felt after he was restored. I had done something terrible. I wanted to turn away from him, not because I didn't want him, or even needed him, but because I didn't think I deserved him. I had turned into an animal. Viktor always joked that I was a violent animal and I had proved him right.

I always acted high and mighty, I condemned Viktor for his horrible crimes, but was I any better?

"I killed a man."

"No, Rose, he was already dead, nothing you or I could have done about that. If he didn't die tonight, he would die the next time he wanted another Strigoi high."

I turned around, throwing my hands in the air. "So it was okay for me to kill him? Because he was a junky? because only pure people are worthy of being saved?"

"No, of course not. But you weren't you! the darkness was affecting you. It wasn't your fault."

I snorted as I crossed my arms over my chest. "Do you even hear yourself? Everything you have done made you feel guilty, so guilty you pushed everyone away. How is this any different?"

Dimitri opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again. He was silent for a whole minute before almost pouting. "That was different."

"Yes, it was. You had no soul. The real Dimitri was gone. Me? I was still in there somewhere and I let it happen… Just like Jesse."

I had felt it take over then, Lissa's rage and power, but it had mixed with something uniquely me. Something that was still inside of me.

"No, the real Dimitri was still in there, just like the real Rose was still in you. It was why I was so good at being a Strigoi and that was why I felt so guilty."

Twisted. The darkness twisted my passion and my will to fight into something that hurt others. I suppose he was right. With no soul, all the good that made up my Dimitri was taken and only the bad remained.

"You said 'felt guilty'."

"What?"

"You said that that is why you felt guilty, not feel guilty. You used past tense."

Dimitri was a little shocked. He actually thought about his wording earlier and realized I was right. "You are right. I guess I did." Something bright came across his face then. "And I have you to thank for it. You didn't give up on me, and I am not going to give up on you."

I smiled. "Can we really do this?" I whispered as I stepped a little closer.

He leaned down and brushed his lips over mine. "Let's find out."

I was tired of pretending I didn't want this. I was tired of suffering and I was tired of losing him. I would hold onto him for as long as I could. We still had to work through some stuff. But I had seen the worst of him, and he had seen the worst of me. There were no secrets between us and now there also was no space.

My mouth was fused to his, it opened slightly to let his tongue enter. His hands were in my hair, keeping me pressed against him. I was still in a rather bloody shirt, and I had blood spatters all over my body, including my face. But Dimitri didn't seem to care. He had taken off his own shirt and replaced it with something less bloody. A waste of effort though as I ripped apart his shirt to show his tanned chest and amazing abs.

I took a moment to admire him while Dimitri bent down slightly and ripped the thigh strap off of my leg. He was about to rip my shirt off of my body when he noticed we were still in front of the window. He growled, closed the blinds quickly and lifted me up, moving me back to the bed.

I wasted no time in opening up the zipper and pulling his pants down, his boxer briefs moving down with them. In the meanwhile Dimitri was busy doing the same to my pants. Once he was naked and I was left in my bra and panties he leaned back a little, admiring the view.

I did the same and was struck by his beauty. Not just handsome- Dimitri was also very handsome- but there was something so very beautiful about Dimitri naked in front of me, his hair out, his outline illuminated by the afternoon soon at his back peaking through the blinds that didn't close all the way.

Dimitri took his time ridding me of my bra and panties. Once naked he kissed my stomach, my belly button and lower he went. The dream came back to me - not the foot fetish thing, but his tongue on my clit as he used his fingers to get me off. Would it feel the same if he put his mouth on me now? Would real Dimitri measure up to dream Dimitri. Or maybe it was the other way around. I hadn't really had any sexual experience other than my own fingers and a few heated kisses before Dimitri. Maybe my mind wasn't able to conjure up enough to dream about yet.

The moment his tongue flicked over my clit, I knew the latter was true. Electricity shot through me and I gasped. He had to physically keep me down by placing a hand on my stomach, the other moved from my knee to my outer thigh, then my inner thigh and then one finger entered me, curling up inside. The added pressure on the inside while he sucked and nipped at the outside nearly had me coming then and there.

I grabbed his hair, letting my fingers run through the silky locks. I rasped my nails over his scalp and this elicited a growl from him. Oh, I was going to enjoy getting to know all of his pleasure points.

I started to grind my hips a bit against his finger and tongue. It was an instinctual response, I needed more, I needed him inside me.

"Always so impatient, Roza." His Russian accent had thickened and his voice was down an octave. He might hide it a bit better than me, but he was as turned on as I was.

"Please." I begged. He had removed his fingers and tongue from where I needed him most as he bent over me to kiss me. I tasted myself on his lips and I didn't know if I should be grossed out or extremely turned on by it. But seeing as I was still rocking my hips against his leg, it was probably the latter.

His smile was wicked, a look I didn't see very often on him.

"I can't hear you Roza." He said as he bent down and let his hardened cock rest against my stomach. He kissed my neck and moved his hand over my left breast. He wasn't doing much with it, other than caressing it. It was just enough to drive me crazy, not enough to progress me to an orgasm.

"Please, Dimitri, I need you. I need you inside of me."

"Better." Who knew Dimitri was a bit of a sadist in bed.

He lined himself up and entered me in one full stroke. He was buried to the hilt. He stilled for a moment, letting me adjust to him. He had broken my maidenhead last time, but still after months of disuse I needed to acclimate to him again. He slowly started to move, pulling back a little and then pushing back in, then pulling back a little further and then pushing back in. The thrust became more and more forceful as time went on, each time hitting a spot inside of me that made me wild. My flesh stretched as it started to accommodate him.

"Fuck, you are so tight." Dimitri practically gritted his teeth trying to take it slow.

I slapped him playfully as I moved my hips to meet him, which elicited another groan from him. "I thought only begging or pleas to deities were allowed."

"You are my goddess Roza." He bent down and kissed me. "My Goddess, my salvation and my life."

I flipped him, straddling him. It took him by surprise but his look of shock was quickly replaced with a look of lust.

"Then worship me." I said as I placed his hand on my breast. He obliged and used one hand to rub my nipple, to roll it between his fingers and to pluck it to a dusty pink peak. His other hand moved towards my clit and started to slowly circle it as I moved up and down on his cock.

When I rotated my hips when I was down, he hissed. I filed that away for later as I let Dimitri guide me to what I hoped to be one of many orgasms. I was so close. I started to move my hips more rapidly, I closed my eyes trying to feel my way through.

"Look at me Roza, I want to watch you come."

I opened my eyes again just as I felt the pressure building to an impossible peak. I combusted and clenched around him. He hissed again even though I wasn't moving. He held my hips in place and started to slowly move beneath me to keep the feeling going. It felt like I was coming for hours.

Once I was well and truly down to earth again, I let Dimitri be on top again. There was something about his weight pressing down on me. It felt safe.

He pulled my leg up and pressed it against my chest as he entered me. I moaned at the sensation, he could penetrate so deep like this.

"Oh God."

"I know I said that pleas to deities were allowed, but it isn't God making you feel this way."

I smiled. I was starting to like this possessive, dominant Dimitri in bed. It made me feel very… female.

Being a dhampir meant that Moroi boys were weaker than you. Even most Dhampir boys were weaker than me by the end. It always felt like I had to downplay my strength so their precious male pride wasn't hurt. This was certainly the case with my temporary insanity called Jesse.

But with Dimitri, there was no pretending, no hiding. I didn't have to play the helpless girl, or the saint. He knew me, all of me and he wanted me and no one else.

I threw my head back as he hit that spot again. "Oh Go- Dimitri." I corrected, just in time.

"Careful Roza, I might actually have to punish you."

Oh, the way he said it, it rolled off of his tongue like a pur and I imagined Dimitri 'punishing me' for hours. The image was so vivid, I could feel myself on the edge of an orgasm.

Dimitri noticed and started to pump faster, clearly his own release was imminent too. Together we rode towards the finish line. I clamped my hands around his arms and held on for dear life. The moans and groans became louder, until they became screams. I cried out as I felt Dimitri stiffen above me and flood me, I came again and milked him until his last drop.

He collapsed on top of me and rolled off.

"I guess we really can do this." I joked. He laughed and turned towards me, pulling up the blankets a bit. He ran his hands through my hair, trying to tame some of the strands he was responsible for tangling.

"I know it won't be easy. We have always known that. But I want to be with you." All of the sadist and dominant Dimitri was gone and what remained was a guy opening up his heart, letting it all hang in the balance.

"I want that too. But to do that, you need to forgive yourself for what happened in Russia. Really forgive yourself. It can't stand between us any longer."

He nodded but averted his gaze to the ceiling and away from me. "I know. And I will. I know I am not completely there yet, but I feel like for the first time in a long time, I can get there."

I smiled. "That sounds an awful lot like acceptance to me."

"And you?" He asked, knowing the events of this morning were still fresh on my mind.

"I forgive myself. I have to. Although I have always known I was capable of this kind of violence, I know I make a conscious choice everyday not to go that far and I know if it wasn't for the darkness, I wouldn't have."

"You make it sound so easy." Dimitri sighed next to me, racking his hand through his hair.

I shrugged. "It is that easy. Forgiveness is a choice Dimitri. Maybe not an easy choice, but a choice nonetheless. You just got your life back, don't waste it on something you can not change and isn't your fault."

He smiled as he pulled me towards him for a quick kiss. "Now, your transformation to Zen master is complete." He laughed.

I pulled away from him a bit and put on a low voice. "Yes, my little grasshopper, you did well."

He looked at me funny. "No Karate-kid in Russia?"

He pulled me against him, my head on his chest. "So now what is the plan?" I asked.

"Other than you trying to convince me all night what a good idea it is to forgive myself? Sonya, Mikhail and Mia are getting Lissa's sibling, then they will meet us here, so we can all go to Court together."

I nodded. We had done it. We had completed our mission. As far as the mission could be completed. I groaned and Dimitri looked at me questingly.

"I have to inform Hans of what we are doing and I have to write a detailed report about the compound attack. and inform him we have restored another Strigoi."

A ping sounded on my phone, I sat up and pulled it from my jacket and I read the text from Sydney.

send a video of the guy entering an Alchemist compound. That is all we have so far.

"And I have to chase down this lead about who attacked Lissa and probably tell Hans about it too."

I fell back down to the bed. "Being leader sucks."

This made Dimitri just laugh and laugh and laugh.