A/N: This is a filler chapter.
Chapter 8
When a kid stole Beca's shoe in kindergarten, she decided to go barefoot rather than confront the kid. Nobody even questioned this. Finally, this kid gave up when no reaction was forthcoming and dropped the shoe. But Beca was already too committed, so she just kept walking around barefoot for the rest of the day.
That's how low her "fucks given" baseline is.
On another occasion, when she was approximately twelve years old, Beca met a woman of Brazilian heritage on the heavier side. And interestingly, the outfit of choice for this woman was a pink shirt and orange shorts. They ran across this person when Beca and her mother were in line at the grocery store's checkout. Beca, glaring at the woman who was bumping her with the cart, urged this woman nicely to keep it away from her. In fact, she didn't even get an apology from the woman at all.
Then, she pulled at her mother's sleeve and asked if she also thought this Brazilian woman resembled Dora the Explorer. The other woman overheard and then proceeded to tell Beca that her name was Dora and that everything Beca thought about Dora was, in fact, wrong.
Beca then remarked dryly, "Well, that's because the only thing you explore is the refrigerator."
Her mother grabbed her by her arm and apologized to the woman for her. She did smile, though, when she turned around again.
That's the kind of a dick Beca can be.
What did Beca just commit to doing? She was going to meet Chloe's nerd friends and hang out with them for maybe one to two hours to make the meeting count and talk to everyone there. The group has eight nerd members, so a conversation with each of them, including Chloe, would take fifteen minutes at the very most.
She'd only either be awkward and won't give a fuck or be a dick. So, what's the point of going?
Beca recalls her slumber party with Chloe and everything they did together. The games they played, the songs they sang, their dance, the body shots, pushing each other's boundaries, Chloe stripping in front of her.
She recalls, "when a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she's either interested, or you're level 99 friend-zoned."
The question now is, what exactly does this mean for Beca? They are both women. Women undress in front of each other. There's no big deal. Especially if they are both close friends—who…well, lick each other's neck and happen to have accidentally made out once. Chloe felt "very confident" stripping down in front of another woman, as she'd said. Is this the kind of behavior a "normal" friend would have towards another friend? By desiring to touch you all the time, flirting with you, teasing you, licking your neck, and moaning against you?
Is this how a friendship between girl best friends works?
Is this how a friendship with Chloe Beale works?
*,*,*
During Beca's free period, she makes her way to the canteen, which is a stone's throw from the main building. The area around the cafeteria is always a hotspot for students just hanging around. Others prefer to remain in the canteen, where they may continue their conversations and meals in peace. Students from the nearby college frequently gather in this area during their free time.
She spots a familiar figure sitting alone across the room and periodically lifting his head to look around or take a sip from his beverage. Because of his outgoing personality, he seems to know practically everyone in the area and always greets them with a wave, a smile, and small talk. He's settled onto a table near the open counter displays, and he's looking at his phone—possibly to check the time or to look up massages, given how briefly he's raising it. He's presumably grabbed his juice pouch from one of the fridges that line one wall. When he sees Beca, he gives a cheery wave, just like an ecstatic little child that saw his mother approaching the schoolyard to pick him up from kindergarten.
"BECAAWW!" Jesse caws like a crow. Beca is always greeted with a body lock from him whenever they meet one other. Then, he'd lift her from the floor until her feet dangle in the air and the air is pressed out of her lungs.
"Jesse, for god's sake!" Beca cries, unable to breathe. "Would you stop that, dammit?"
He places her down and grins. "How's my favorite girl doing?"
Against one wall of this semi-enclosed dining area is a counter where various tasty treats are displayed. The illumination in the dining hall is provided mainly by the glass panels of the ceiling and the glass windows located towards the back of the canteen. There are both natural and artificial plantations within the interior area, which contribute to the room's overall appearance of being greener and more vibrant.
They both take a seat. "If you keep squeezing me like that, you're going to snap my spine eventually, and when that happens, I won't be able to support you during the regionals for your nerdy performance."
"You'd cheer for me?"
"Not if you keep doing that, and I die."
"So, you'd cheer for me because–" Jesse grins broadly, "–you love me more than her."
"Who's her?" Beca drops her eyes to her bag to retrieve her purse as she's going to order something to eat, pretending to be distracted and not caring whom he's talking about. She has $10 left for the whole week, and the next payment will be on Saturday. "Let me just quickly grab some snacks."
Beca decides to get a bottle of juice and a breakfast burrito because these are the least expensive options available to someone as financially strapped as she is. At the register, she sees her roommate, Kimmy, and overhears her having a lively discussion with her other friends while standing in line.
Kimmy seems almost like a completely different person. It's like seeing a twin version of her apathetic and introverted roommate because Kimmy hardly ever laughs or has so much fun when she's in their room with just Beca present. It's as if she is stripping away all the upbeat and gregarious personality and lifestyle the moment she steps into their dorm room. Like Beca feeds on Kimmy's human happiness and light until what's left is darkness and despair whenever she is in Beca's proximity.
She doesn't acknowledge Beca when their eyes meet briefly, but her expression turns blank. Beca doesn't blame her.
When Beca returns to Jesse at their table, she places her tray down.
"I mean Chloe," he says, picking up their last conversation as if there hadn't been no interruption. Jesse slurps the last drops of his juice pouch, not breaking eye contact with Beca.
"I love both of you equally." Beca dismisses it with a shrug, but then she sees the glitter in Jesse's brown eyes and hears him with a sniff wipe away an imaginary tear.
"Aww…"
"Dude!? You're weird," Beca laughs as she swallows a bite of her burrito. "Most people here are."
"So, did you make out with Chloe?" Jesse asks nonchalantly out of the blue, thinking he's just trying to make conversation.
Beca nearly aspirates her meal as she begins to violently cough into her fist and her head begins to feel heated. Jesse opens the bottle of water and offers it to her. His look is one of perplexity.
"What?!" she asks when she finds her breath.
"I asked if you made up with Chloe?" he repeats.
"Oh." Beca blinks, presses her lips shut, and then says, "Yeah, we made up. It was nothing, I mean, not like we really fought or something."
"What did you even understand?" Jesse skeptically grins at her while leaning back on the bench's backrest and crossing his arms over his chest.
"Nothing, you jackass," Beca mutters while gulping down her water. "You keep talking about Chloe like you're into her."
"I admit, she's an attractive woman, but I am not into her. I'm just happy that you're getting along so well." He is not even being sarcastic. Even though Beca isn't interested in romantically pursuing the attractive redhead, he nearly sounds like he's rooting for them.
Beca deflects the conversation away from the matter at hand by complaining about the food here and how she is always broke despite having a part-time job. They discuss their internship, their intolerable supervisor, and the menial tasks they are required to do.
"If the prices of the meals at this canteen are out of your price range," Jesse starts, "your best bet is to prepare your own food and bring it with you."
"Dude, there's nothing more I hate than cooking." With frustration, Beca lets out a grunt. It's not like she has no ability in the kitchen; cooking is a tedious chore requiring constant attention to detail. Although each dormitory building has communal kitchens, Beca seldom uses them unless she cooks dinner for herself, which often consists of instant noodles and eggs fried in butter.
"So, how about we make dinner together later this evening?" Jesse suggests, "Maybe it'll change your mind, and you get to like it. And you start saving money," he adds as though he's her dad now, "After that, we can relax with some popcorn while watching a movie and having a philosophical conversation on how much superheroes challenge our assumptions about the place of ethics in the quest for paradise."
Beca chuckles and wrinkles her nose while shaking her head dismissively at the idea. However, she is free to hang out with him after class because she has no other commitments. Maybe he's got a point. The ability to save money by preparing her own meals is a huge boon to her current financial circumstances. Obviously, she can't be a spoiled brat and wait for her dad to load her credit card every time she makes a purchase.
"Fine," Beca groans grimly. "But let's cook something easy and fast. I don't have the patience, seriously."
"Fettuccine Carbonara, it is." Jesse beams.
*,*,*
In English literature class, Beca is seated next to a woman whom Beca immediately recognizes as one of the Bellas, though somewhat atypical of a Bella because of the woman's more tomboyish demeanor compared to the other Bellas. She has short pink hair and a raspy voice with a soulful touch. And as long as Beca can recall, this woman had always been kind to her, even when Beca initially made an effort to be rude to her.
And as a happy twist of fate would have it, there is yet another Bella occupying the seat next to this one. As though they never appear alone or apart from their group.
This other woman has shoulder-length blonde hair and exudes a mix of talkativeness and shyness. It's possible that she only talks when she's around people who make her feel at ease. That blonde Beca remembers had initiated a chat with her at the very beginning, whom Beca treated with rudeness by ignoring her.
Both of them are chatting about their captain, but judging from how they are talking about her, it does not appear like Chloe is the subject of their conversation.
"Either we are doing an abysmal job as a team," the blonde says behind a curtain of hair, "or she is not a very good captain."
"What'cha think, girl?" her teammate replies with a wave of nonchalance, "she increased the damn time for rehearsal as if that'll help. And we still that bad."
"I can't listen to those songs anymore," the blonde says, "they are etched in my brain now."
"Y'know, if she got a toothbrush mustache, she'd be the female version of Hitler." Beca's seat neighbor remarks.
Beca smiles wryly behind her hand as she remembers what Jesse had previously cautioned her about. About one of their captain's true nature. The only person who does not speak negatively about her, who defends her, and who praises her ideas is Chloe. On the other hand, Beca can deduct from Chloe's stories that her co-captain might be undermining her authority.
That's how Chloe is; she's a goodhearted person. And maybe, she might also be naïve.
"A new approach might be helpful," the other woman sighs, "but I can't think of anything else."
"And even if we had better ideas, she ain't gonna listen," the raspy voice replies, "she don't even listen to Chloe."
*,*,*
Around noon as Beca can't afford to buy another meal, she heads back to her dorm to grab a bag of instant ramen and cooks it in the kitchen on the first floor. A couple of students are heating up their food, and a few others are sitting at tables with books spread open or laptops in front of them.
While waiting for the water in the kettle to boil, her thoughts go to someone she really wants to see right now. She wonders what the person is doing, her fingers itching to send them a text message, but she restrains herself. She doesn't want to seem clingy.
Her phone vibrates in her jeans pocket. As she unlocks the screen, her heart begins to flutter.
'Hey, Beca ;) When will be your last class today? Xoxo'
It's Wednesday now. For the past three days, they haven't seen each other. And also, Beca has noticed that Chloe hasn't texted her at all, and she guesses that this is because Chloe wanted to allow Beca some time to recharge her social energy. After their party. Beca also didn't text her once, even if she wanted. And she only notices now that Chloe's messages are from last Sunday. So, it's cool to reply now, right?
'Around 3 p.m. Why?'
An instant text reply follows. Beca pours the boiling water into her bowl with the instant noodles and adds the flavor packet to it.
'Do you want to hang out? :3'
Beca sits at an empty table, her bowl balancing in one hand, phone in the other. 'Depends. When and what do you have in mind?'
'What about a picnic later as the weather's nice? Xoxo'
'With or without the other nerds?' Beca doesn't even think twice before she halfway agrees.
'It's just you and me, Beca.' Because this is Chloe, and Beca wants to see her. 'You'll meet them eventually when you feel ready.'
Chloe is quite thoughtful in this regard. Additionally, she continues to demonstrate on a daily basis the type of person she is and the quality of friend that she is to Beca.
But then another text message follows quickly after, showing another side of Chloe. Her coquettish side.
'We could share a single blanket again and practice doing body shots without the alcohol. ;)'
If there is one thing that Beca has learned from her budding friendship with Chloe, it is to tease back whenever Chloe starts the teasing, in order to give Chloe a taste of her own medicine. This generally works.
'Then let's find a secluded spot for that. I don't want anyone to hear you scream my name. ;)'
Maybe Beca can do this so easily with Chloe because this is how they bond. That's how their dynamic works, and it doesn't mean anything.
'Beca, for God's sake,' comes the quick response. 'You minx, you're driving me crazy. ;) I'll bring the food and a blanket. See you later. Xoxo'
And why? Because Beca can't help but treat Chloe like an addictive substance that takes over her life and consumes her, making everything else go away.
*,*,*
Beca rushes back to her dorm as soon as her class ends to swap out her bag and dispose of her textbooks.
Kimmy is currently occupied at her desk, writing in her notepad while a textbook is in front of her. She is listening to music with headphones on, so she doesn't notice that Beca is in the room. She sets her books on her desk and swings her chair around so she can sit down for a moment to check her inbox. After deleting the junk, she closes the tab and heads over to her SoundCloud page. For a new artist, the number of plays to her songs and the number of likes they have received is encouraging: roughly 12 and 22, respectively.
Beca logs off the computer, straightens up her workspace, removes the garbage, and looks through her closet for an appropriate outfit.
As Kimmy, however, notices the movement in her peripheral vision moments later, she turns around without saying a word. She doesn't even remove her headset or nod at Beca to greet her. Her facial expression remains unchanging, emotionless, and blank. Then she turns around again, writing in her notepad.
Kimmy is much like the hamster Beca had when she was a kid. He had just halted his wheeling to turn to Beca, and his expressionless, indifferent muzzle never wavered. But at least he looked around the room curiously every time he saw Beca, maybe hoping for a treat. His black eyes used to linger on her. In contrast to Kimmy, who acts as though she could care less about Beca.
Does Beca want this aspect of their monotonous and lackluster relationship to change? Would she rather wish to hang out with Kimmy, become best buddies, go shopping together, and talk about dreams and crushes?
Maybe… Maybe not.
Beca is already overwhelmed with having two friends.
Soon enough, she quickly grabs a few items of clothing and her shower utensils and heads toward the communal showers. In the changing room, she gives her hair a quick blow-dry before gathering her belongings and heading back to her room.
She has been preparing herself for the upcoming picnic with Chloe by first visualizing what it would be like. It's reasonable to suppose that the most exciting thing her friend has in mind for their friendly get-together is the prospect of sitting on a park bench, eating sandwiches, and talking about anything and everything. This is something that Beca can accomplish. She has a soft spot for Chloe; surprisingly, their hanging out together doesn't drain her.
Beca digs $5 out of her hidden stash and her remaining $7 in her pocket. There will be time for her to get some sandwiches for them, so she makes a mental note of it to get before she heads to see Chloe.
When Beca is about to leave her room, her phone buzzes.
'U still good w/ popcorn 4 l8er? And I found an easy recipe jz 4 u, Becs.' It's Jesse. Fuck!
She forgot that they were supposed to meet for movie night and cook together. Not even once did she think of Jesse once Chloe asked her to hang out. She's such a dick.
This is the disadvantage of having more than one friend you need to see frequently to keep the friendship from deteriorating. Beca secretly longs for the days when she didn't have a single friend with whom she had to hang out. Back in the days when it was just her and her music.
She'd never admit how lonely she felt back then.
How are Jesse and Chloe able to balance their friendships with all of their peers at the same time? A person who is more reserved in their social interactions is unlikely ever to comprehend this concept.
For the time being, she must make a decision. One of them will have to be refused. Just today, at least. However, in point of fact, Jesse was the one who asked her first. So, it's only fair to see him instead of Chloe, right? He asked her this morning; she agreed to him first. Put bluntly, she had just forgotten about him. It's a catastrophe.
Therefore, she chooses the one she looks forward to seeing the most.
She texts Chloe. 'Hey, 4 p.m. is still okay?'
And then Jesse. 'Sorry, something came up. Let's do that some other time. I'll make it up to you, okay? I'll get you your favorite juice pouch.'
Because that's the kind of a dick she is.
The two responses follow almost immediately and at the same time.
'Yes, I'm just getting everything ready. Xoxo'
'What? A last-minute rejection? Ouch. Cherrys ma fave. Or make it a 6-pack, u owe me.'
*,*,*
Beca chose to appear more laid-back by donning her go-to black top, her favorite red and black plaid long-sleeved shirt, and black jeans. After that, she remembers to dash into the nearby convenience store, get them some sandwiches and soft drinks for their picnic, and tuck them inside her backpack.
After all, she isn't going on a date, so why should she feel guilty about not making a greater effort? She is merely going to a convivial meeting with a friend. With Chloe.
The reason why Beca's heart has been beating so rapidly is that she'd been running. The fact that she'd be able to poke fun at the nerd in person is the source of the grin on her face. And only due to the weather's hot temperature do her hands feel clammy. There is no evidence of nervousness in any of these behaviors.
Beca arrives at the spot where they had previously arranged to meet later that day, and the redhead is already there, sitting on a bench and having an immersive discussion with someone on the phone. There's her yellow beach bag again, filled with the stuff Chloe brought for the picnic. Chloe doesn't appear to notice her as Beca draws closer; rather, the redhead seems engrossed in the phone conversation she is having.
One of Chloe's many wonderful qualities is that she will give you her complete and undivided attention. When she is looking at you, she has the ability to make you feel like you are the only person in the entire world and that nobody else exists.
"Totes, yes, I will talk to her," Chloe says very patiently, staring into the distance and ironing with her palm the seam of her purple, black-striped dress, "yes, I know... I do understand what you mean..." Chloe then sees Beca, and her smile widens. She lifts a finger to indicate that the conversation will be over in a moment. "Yes, I know your struggles when engaging in cardio, Amy. But the fact that you overindulged in burritos is not a valid excuse to skip your workout. Look, we can talk later, okay?" She throws a fleeting glance at Beca and blushes for some reason, as she answers the person, "Yes, Amy. Okay, Bye."
Beca chuckles and sits beside her friend, placing her backpack beside her. "Dealing with Bella issues?"
"Yeah, it's getting a bit stressful lately," Chloe tells her as she grabs the yellow beach bag from the bench and gets up. Much to Beca's surprise. As she continues, she cocks her head in a manner for Beca to follow her, "Aubrey increased the hours for rehearsal. And the girls aren't happy with it."
"Did you agree on it, though?" Beca questions, walking alongside Chloe, recalling the conversation between the two Bellas during class.
They pass the Library North Wing and walk further along the Tennis Court until they reach the parking lot on the other side. On their walk there, Chloe greeted almost every second person in a football jersey they encountered, of a whole football team. Most likely on their way to or from practice.
"Members of your fan club?" Beca mocks, her hands balled in the back of her jeans pockets.
"They are my exes, Beca," Chloe retorts, her face expressionless. When Beca swallows hard, Chloe pushes her and laughs. "God, what are you even thinkingof me?" She's still laughing as they cross the parking lot. "They are Tom's friends."
"Oh, nice."
Beca is confused about where they are heading and looks around her, then at Chloe's profile. "Why are we leaving the campus? We have a park in the opposite direction."
"We're not having a picnic here." Chloe extracts a car key from her bag as they walk towards a black Ford Fiesta, a completely different car than the one Chloe drove the last time when all of this sort of started.
Beca gets inside the car. "You didn't steal the keys, right?"
"No, this is Cynthia Rose's car," Chloe explains while adjusting the rearview mirror and the position of the seat. "She let me borrow it so long she doesn't have to do the dishes for a week."
"Aha, cool."
They haven't been driving for more than twenty minutes when Chloe pulls off at the edge of the woodland. They both get out of the car, and Beca takes her backpack, looking around her. There are no other cars nearby—just them.
As they walk for another ten minutes along a route that leads from the parking lot, Beca notices the large spacing between trees, where light penetrates through. They then reach a tree perched precariously on the edge of a massive lake with an island in the middle of it. Chloe has most likely been here before, perhaps when a date brought her here, as the redhead appears to be quite familiar with the dirt path that leads here and knows exactly where to park. The location gives off the impression of being remote from the city.
Chloe places her yellow beach bag on the ground and prepares their picnic. She spreads the blanket on the ground and grabs several insulated containers filled with all kinds of food, utensils, plates, and cloth napkins. Opening the containers, she reveals a salad that Beca thinks looks flavorful, and butter, ham, cheese, olives, and crackers. She then unwraps a baguette from tinfoil and brings out roasted chicken filets and some grapes.
The icing on the cake is when Chloe takes her phone and plays a copy of Beca's playlist.
As Beca watches, she realizes how much effort Chloe has put into this. This isn't what she had expected, and now she's feeling like an idiot. She lets her backpack slide from her arm to the ground.
"Aren't you going to sit down?" Chloe asks, and the afternoon sunlight is just reflecting in her bright blue eyes, making them look as though they are sparkling. She's smiling so warmly at Beca.
Beca sits opposite her. "You really went out of your way to do this?"
"Hm?" Chloe smiles confusedly, "I did ask you if you wanted to have a picnic. So, I prepared."
"Yeah, but...not like this." Beca scratches her head and realizes that her words came off wrong as Chloe's face saddens. She adds quickly, "No, I mean, it's amazing. It's perfect. I just didn't expect it. I mean," she takes a cross-legged position and turns to her backpack to retrieve the sandwiches and soft drinks from it, "I only got these. Sorry. I thought we'd just hang out on a bench in the park, or something," she concedes, her gaze sinking to her lap.
"Yes, maybe next time if you want to do that. But right now, we have plenty of food," Chloe tells her cheerfully, clasping her hands together. "I hope you enjoy it. I made the herbed salad myself; there's grapefruit in it. And in case you're vegetarian, I brought plenty of alternatives."
"I literally ate pepperoni pizza last time," Beca drawls with a gesture.
"Well, the pepperoni pizza is not exactly what I remember from last time," Chloe says with a smirk and winks.
Beca reacts by coughing into her fist before grabbing a plate and placing the salad on it first. Green salad is not something that she typically consumes. But Chloe made it. "No, don't fret about that. I'm a carnivore." When she finally tries the salad, she is astonished to discover it is quite tasty. She gives Chloe a grin as it appears she has been watching Beca. "It's pretty good."
"If you like, the smoked trout can be added to the salad." Then Chloe seems abruptly reminded of something when she claps a hand on her forehead and cries, "Oh no, I forgot the wine!"
"Don't worry, I got us coke," Beca tells her and hands her a bottle.
"You saved the day," Chloe laughs.
When they've finished eating, Beca helps Chloe pack the items back into her bag. No food was left; they even ate the sandwiches Beca had brought. And now that she has had her fill, together with her best friend, she is content beyond measure.
Chloe stretches down on the blanket and props on her arm, facing the sunset. She pats the place beside her, and Beca feels her pulse quicken.
"So, you haven't answered yet," Beca starts the conversation, lying down and staring at the sky. She can feel Chloe's eyes on her. "If you ever agreed on the extended time frame for the rehearsals."
Chloe heaves a sigh and leans back as well. "The answer is no; I did not. There's still plenty of time before our next performance, and I felt the Bellas were doing great. Sadly, the vocal exercises aren't doing much of anything."
Beca hums in acknowledgment, throwing a sideways fleeting glance at Chloe.
Chloe continues. "We embarrassed ourselves during a gig for the Sigma Beta Theta's Annual Fall Mixer." She covers her face with her hands, seemingly remembering that incident. "We didn't harmonize, and the choreography wasn't that good. But that is also my fault."
She elaborates on how far along they are in rehearsals, what kind of exercises they undertake, and how Aubrey is being difficult, but that's just her character. That she still hasn't won over the females. Although Aubrey is basically a wonderful human being, she is constantly overwhelmed by her need for everything to go smoothly and perfectly. They had a few more shows, but nobody seemed interested in booking them again. This is quite disheartening to Aubrey.
Beca follows up with a few questions, asking about who performs the solos, who is responsible for the arrangements, and who is in charge of the choreography. Chloe fills her in on the details.
"Look, you might not want to hear a piece of advice from an amateur," Beca says, chuckling to herself, "but it sounds like you're not making the most of their individuality and the talents that each of them possesses?"
Because Beca is aware of the types of things that other people find entertaining to see and listen to, she can visualize a show of this nature and imagine how it may look fantastic. She is projecting the images at the sky above her.
Chloe takes that in. "And for example…?"
"It's not easy being an all-female a cappella ensemble, but that's exactly why you need to find ways to set yourselves apart," Beca remarks while folding her hands on her tummy to relax a little bit. "And I don't know, like, if I were the captain of them..." she takes a long breath before turning her head to Chloe and saying, "I would make a note of their abilities and find a way to incorporate them into the performance. That will set you apart from the other competitors, for instance, regarding the choreography. In addition, each of them has a unique tone of voice. You might choose to embed that into the songs in some way. Give them lines to sing."
"That sounds good. But Aubrey would never agree to that," Chloe states, her eyes downcast. She has one arm under her head, her other arm is draped over her stomach, her hand resting between her and Beca. "I think she doesn't trust their vocal abilities."
"Dude, but you're the other captain," Beca points out, "you can at least make suggestions and state your opinion, even reject her ideas."
"You don't know Aubrey," Chloe says, her finger brushing against Beca's elbow, at which she inadvertently twitch, "I don't want to start a fight."
"You'll eventually have to, Chloe," Beca tells her directly in the face, "if you don't want to embarrass yourselves again in front of hundreds of other people next time."
Chloe falls silent; her face paled at this. She sighs deeply, "I wish you'd be one of us..." And this isn't the first time she's saying and wishing this. And she knows that this annoys Beca, so she drops her eyes. "I'm sorry," she says quickly.
Beca turns on her side to face her directly, resting her head on her bent arm. As she hears the mashup songs playing from Chloe's phone, she suddenly has an idea, "What if you just pick old and new songs and layer them up? Like a mashup?"
"How would that sound like?" Chloe asks, though her eyes glimmer with excitement, "we have absolutely no experience with that. You're the expert there."
"I can show you what I mean," Beca says, grinning widely, "when I meet them next time." She winks, and Chloe's cheeks fill with color again, a crimson hue.
They watch as the sun disappears behind the lake and remain lying and not realizing the time. They keep chatting about everything, college, food, and Beca even shared about her family, and then they exchange anecdotes of their childhood.
"You met a real-life Dora the Explorer once?" Chloe exclaims, cradling her stomach as she bursts out laughing, "no way!" Beca pushes her till she falls over on the blanket, her careless laughter never fading. "That sounds a bit racist, Beca."
"What? No, I was referring to her clothing style and not her race. Duh!"
The setting sun paints the lake and the sky a stunning reddish-purple. Chloe requests Beca's permission to take a selfie together, which she only reluctantly agrees to. But Chloe's sad face is making it hard to say no. She gives Beca her phone, so she can snap a picture whenever she likes, regardless of when Chloe is ready. As Beca raises the camera above their heads, Chloe encircles Beca's waist from behind and places her chin on her shoulder, which causes Beca to blush furiously. And right as she clicks the camera away, Chloe slips Beca a kiss on the cheek, and the moment is captured.
"Oh my god, you have to delete that!" Beca squeals in horror, "Not fair! That took me off-guard!"
Chloe snatches the phone from Beca and exits the camera option. "Yes, I'll delete it later," she tells Beca, but the grin on her face says otherwise.
Chloe admires their first selfie together as she sits in a sidesaddle posture, with both legs to one side, and her knee-length purple plaid dress is draped over her legs. Beca's retaliatory response is to stealthily snap a photo of the redhead, immortalizing the scene of her breathtaking best friend sitting there with the warm-colored sunset in the backdrop, her red hair tucked back with her hand.
This isn't anything that Chloe needs to know. If she ever finds out, she will most certainly be upset, but that is something Beca will eventually have to deal with sometime in the future.
As they prepare to leave, Chloe grabs Beca's arm and drags her down again. She pecks her on the lips. "Thank you for your time today. I really needed this," she says to Beca in a close, intimate voice.
As if Beca had been the one who made everything incredible and perfect, who did all of the preparation, and who provided the food. Beca is confused about where the prickling sensation she is experiencing in her tummy comes from. This is Chloe's natural ability to make her feel special.
She hasn't looked away from Chloe at all; she's still staring into her dazzling eyes.
"Chloe, I didn't do anything." Beca laughs nervously, scratching her neck. She looks down at the redhead's hand that is still encircling her wrist.
Suddenly, it appears that something in her head has become clogged up, as she loses control of her mouth and speech production. When she finally glances up at Chloe, who is still staring at her, she says, "I thought you wanted to show me how to do body shots without the alcohol?" Her words come out of her mouth without making any sense or warning.
A mischievous smile appears on the redhead's face as she slowly pulls at Beca's arm so that Beca is urged to lie down. Chloe pins her on her back, her arms pressed by Chloe against the blanket. She's all of a sudden straddling Beca's legs.
"Don't freak out, okay?" Chloe says into her ear. Then she takes a long sweep from Beca's throat all the way up to Beca's earlobe, and then she's peppering butterfly kisses along the skin of her neck.
"Jesus…" Beca gasps in surprise at the sudden sensation, closing her eyes and arching her back as gooseflesh begins forming along her arms.
Chloe's smile presses on her skin, and then her hot tongue laps at the spot below Beca's ear. She lets out an unrestrained moan, and at the same time, she frees her hands so that she can grab Chloe by the back and paw her aimlessly. She tilts her head to the side to give Chloe more room to tend to her while her voice gets raspy. She has her teeth clenched together as she attempts to stifle another groan while thinking about how much she is enjoying this and wondering how much of it is still on "friendly grounds." She is trying all in her power to dissuade Chloe from stopping so soon, as she does not want to bring an end to this tremendously delightful experience any sooner than necessary.
"You smell really good," Chloe comments. Beca can only chuckle, feeling bashful. "It's definitely different from what I'm used to," she adds with a sly smile.
"Why? Didn't your exes shower?"
Chloe laughs. "No, I mean you smell sweeter and pleasant to my nose." She buries her face in Beca's neck and takes another inhale until she sounds delirious. "Hmm… really good."
"You're weird." Beca rolls her eyes, but she allows it. "And I'm not used to feeling other tits on me, either," she says wryly with a melodramatic groan, trying to sound irritated, but her voice is failing her, "it's definitely different."
Chloe laughs again.
And Chloe smells good, too. But she doesn't tell her that.
After a moment, the redhead shifts to the opposite side of her throat and performs another lengthy sweep. She alternates between sucking softly and leaving tender kisses on Beca's throat and neck. Then she stops and nuzzles Beca's cheek.
"That's normally not done for that long," Chloe tells her softly, then she hovers just inches away to stare down at Beca, "But I thought perhaps you enjoy it better that way."
"Wha-, yeah, well," Beca stutters as she struggles to regain control of her senses. "It's... Nice. Cool."
"And another good spot is–" while saying this, Chloe slips Beca's shirt up to her midriff, running a fingertip down her flesh, "–the navel. And the cleavage, your hips, maybe your thighs, too." She pulls the hem of Beca's top back down again, smirking playfully. "But maybe that's something you'd rather want to try in private."
Beca conceals her flustered expression by covering her face with her hands. She can still hear Chloe giggling from above her, then bursts out laughing. After that, Beca has a flash of insight that reminds her that teasing her perky and coquettish friend back is the most effective strategy for her in a situation like this. Consequently, Beca removes her hands from her face and positions them on Chloe's shoulders to get her to lie down. The result is that Beca is the one who is now hovering above the other woman.
She doesn't warn Chloe and surprises herself when she starts nipping at her friend's earlobe, giving it a gentle tug when she says into her ear, "I'm a fast learner," as she places open-mouthed kisses underneath her friend's earlobe, trailing a path down the neck with a sweep of her tongue.
"Oh, God…"
With each kiss, she feels Chloe shudder underneath her and exhale soft moans. Beca then sweeps her tongue along Chloe's neck, carefully kissing her throat and giving her gentle bites on the nape of her neck. Alternating between harder and delicate bites, along her collarbone and continuing on the other side.
Chloe's been moaning and squirming against her as her body continuously rocks against Beca. And she feels her friend's hands roaming on her back and fingernails digging into her skin, above the fabric of her top.
Then, she starts humming quietly the melody that first comes to her head. She slowly moves her lips towards Chloe's ear, and Chloe briefly tenses up as she realizes what Beca is doing to her.
But she doesn't stop.
Beca starts humming the lines of that rather sexually aggressive song into Chloe's ear, singing it softly….
"...You got me so wild,
How can I ever deny,
You got me so high."
She giggles a bit, feeling bashful at first, and places another soft kiss on Chloe's outer ear, causing Chloe to writhe beneath Beca while the arms around Beca's back tighten around her.
"So high I cannot feel the fire.
And you keep telling me
Telling me that you'll be sweet…"
Another kiss just below her earlobe, panting softly into the redhead's ear. She's trying to sing in a sexually suggestive voice to emphasize the song's feel.
"And you'll never want to leave my side
As long as I don't break these
Promises."
Beca's stomach is filled with butterflies as she allows her left hand to slowly make its way up to Chloe's side, grabbing her somewhat forcefully but not too much to hurt her. Chloe's breathing has gotten a touch ragged against Beca's cheek, which causes the butterflies to flit about eagerly. She skips some verses and hums them instead. Then proceeds with,
"I'm your dream girl
This is real love
But you know what they say about me."
Beca is at a loss to explain why she is reaching out for Chloe's hand, maybe to pin her down, but she keeps singing these lines to her friend, even her best friend, as they are lying by the lake while the first stars start to light up in the dimming sky. What is she even doing?
However, she is unable to stop herself. She finds some strange and sick pleasure in every movement and noise that Chloe is carrying out and producing. And as a result, more of her barriers are crumbling and her insides are starting to melt.
Their fingers interlace beside Chloe's face, as Beca continues to softly sing the verse into the squirming woman's ear below her, the remaining verses fading as they repeat.
"My hips rocking
As we keep lip locking.
Got the neighbors screaming
Even louder, louder."
Kissing the sensitive earlobe after each line, Beca is smiling as she sings this, sensing and maybe knowing too well that Chloe is the type of girl that's totally into this—like being sung to. Being seduced. Being grabbed and pinned down.
Like being…dominated.
Beca moves her head so that her face is hovering over Chloe, baby-blue eyes heavy-lidded and sultry, her breathing shuddering. Beca had seen her look at her like this before, when she had first done something like this to Chloe, in her dorm, on her bed. And if she doesn't want it to end like the last time, then she better stop.
But she doesn't.
"Lick me down like you were rolling rizla
Like I'm smoking
Come and put me out..."
When the verse finishes, she hums the final few notes while smiling broadly, again skipping a few lines that don't fit in. Even though she had to sing it softly so as not to rupture her best friend's eardrum, she is under the impression that she did not sound that terrible. On the other hand, Chloe doesn't seem to have been bothered by this. Quite the contrary.
Chloe Beale is the first person Beca let into her life on an emotional level, and she is also her only female best friend. Perhaps Beca is only trying to rationalize her behavior, yet, she feels an overwhelming need for physical touch with Chloe and believes that she, like herself, desperately desires this just as much. She looks down into crystal blue eyes reflecting the unrelenting and unfailing brilliance of the dispersed sunset and thinks she's falling fast for her.
Chloe finally exhales the breath she has been holding in and sighs Beca's name with a look of awe and admiration in her beautiful eyes. With her other hand, she gently caresses Beca's cheek before removing a stray hair dangling from her face.
And once again, this irresistible pull is compelling both of them to draw their faces closer to one another. Chloe's eyes are drooping shut as Beca draws nearer.
Until their lips meet, at which point all else ceases to exist.
It's the simple act of caressing and molding each other's lips that sets off the butterflies frenzy in Beca's stomach, eliciting a soft moan from her. It's a chaste kiss, like a first-time one, until it's slowly becoming demanding. Urgent. And desperate.
Chloe smiles as Beca teasingly plays with her bottom lip by licking it, then lightly nibbling at it, and eventually giving it a playful tug. Chloe places her hand behind Beca's head, pulling her in close, and opens her mouth in a sigh. At this point, Beca allows her tongue to make a cautious foray inside, by languidly brushing Chloe's and eliciting muffled groans from her best friend.
It's an indescribable feeling. She savors every bit of it. The tingling feeling that runs through her body sends a warm sensation through her. There are rumblings of excitement in her stomach. The feeling of lightheadedness. Her heart thumping furiously.
As if she had been parched for weeks, and Chloe was the first drop of water she had had in a long time. Certainly, they didn't kiss like this their first time. And they are threatening to cross even further new territories now.
There's a moment where Beca considers whether she would have ended up making out with Jesse had she decided to visit him instead. While Benji was too absorbed with his magic tricks, maybe in his room, on his bed. Would Jesse have been able to woo Beca with his homemade fettuccini and DVD collection? Or maybe with just his charm, just like Chloe did so effortlessly?
Chloe groans and moves her hips higher into Beca, seeking contact. And as she allows Beca's tongue to caress hers, Beca, the next moment, groans, fearing she might be sounding too horny. Which she most certainly is not.
Because of their movements, Chloe's dress has slid upward in the process, and Beca's hand seems to be moving on its own as Chloe's heavy breathing appears to be fueling her desire to continue.
At first, she holds one of Chloe's legs at bay, grabbing her at the back of her knee and for Beca to move between her comfortably. Until she feels Chloe running her hands along Beca's sides, to her hips, to press her closer, firmly. Pawing her sides underneath Beca's top this time. Beca has obviously missed the moment she has slipped beneath it. But she doesn't mind. Urging Beca to go on.
Beca slowly moves her hand to caress the skin of the redhead's thigh, very gently, until it becomes almost hard to resist Chloe's desperate whimpering. When she realizes that her own heart is jackhammering in her chest, she doesn't understand her own response to Chloe. And she wonders whether Chloe can feel it.
Despite Beca's stiffening at the realization of having Chloe's hand caressing her below her top, she feels a tingling sensation all the way down her spine—and it's electrifying. This is something that Beca has never experienced before. Not with her ex-boyfriend, for sure, even though she felt something similar to this. Even though she had been in love once, it was nonetheless a bit different. It is quite something else with another woman.
Chloe's skin is so delicate that it trembles under Beca's touch, and Beca can't help but wonder why Chloe is reacting so strongly to someone she professes to be only a best friend. A best friend she's just fooling around with.
Should Beca continue? How far would Chloe let her? Why are they even doing this? Why does this feel amazing? Chloe feels amazing.
"Beca…" She moves her face to Chloe's throat and resumes kissing her there lightly, hearing the redhead gasping for air. "Oh, God…" Another moan. Another buckle of her hips.
Chloe, as she's maybe sensing Beca's continued languishing exploration on the back of her thigh, brings her hand to her mouth, where she bites down on her knuckle to muffle her moans. Her eyes are pressed shut. Cheeks flushing scarlet.
And Beca enjoys this way too much. It's frightening because it's overwhelming. As she works her way up Chloe's thigh, until she reaches the middle part of its back, digging her fingernails into the skin as she goes, she keeps her eyes peeled for any sign of resistance.
But nothing follows.
Nevertheless, she halts her movement.
For a moment, she worries that Chloe might pass out in the way she's breathing so hard, the way Chloe is trembling this immensely, with her other arm urging Beca forward, to move. To touch her. But by avoiding risk by staying inside established lines, Beca doesn't move further.
"Is this what best friends normally do?" Beca asks her in between breaths and kisses, smiling against Chloe's neck at her own naïveté. Despite being aware of the answer, she asked this ridiculous question in all seriousness.
Chloe pulls slightly away, and the hand under Beca's top immediately suddenly stops. "Beca," her voice is gentle, and she seems out of breath as she delivers the next few words she thinks would break Beca's innocent heart, "no, this isn't what best friends normally do."
"Thought so," Beca murmurs, suddenly embarrassed as she rolls off from Chloe. She's lying on her stomach and propping herself up on her elbows. Her ears and head feel hot, as if she has a sunburn.
Chloe readjusts her dress, and Beca pulls her top down. "You're not going to freak out again, are you?" There's sadness and worry in Chloe's voice when she asks this.
"Hmm, no," Beca says thoughtfully. She doesn't sense any growing panic attacks within her. "I mean, it didn't strike me by surprise this time." She gives Chloe an impish smirk. "And I sort of asked for it, right?" Then she plops her chin on the back of her hands to hide her face.
"Do you feel uncomfortable–" Chloe's voice sounds uncertain, even vulnerable when she speaks, "–when we do this; when this happens?"
"I wouldn't call it uncomfortable. I think it's kinda 'normal' between friends to try this sort of stuff," Beca says airily, rectifying the tension between them, "if you're just really close, I mean. So, I don't feel uncomfortable."
"It's not the sort of 'normal,' I guess," Chloe says, "You and Jesse are close friends, right? Do you do these things with him?" to support her viewpoint.
"What? Ew. No!" Beca almost laughs, "it's different with him. He's a dude." As if that explains it. As if that's the only reason she doesn't do this with Jesse and only with Chloe.
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
"Well, obviously, if I did these things with Jesse, he could get the impression that I'm into him," Beca says pathetically while gesturing as if that is helping her to keep her brain running to form a proper sentence, "and doing this with you is different." She stares absent-mindedly into the distance and watches as two squirrels climb a tree. "Given that you're a quite attractive woman and you have a history of just dating men, it's quite unlikely that you'd fall in love with me," Beca scoffs at the preposterous notion while laughing and waving her hand to dismiss it again.
She barely notices that Chloe has gone silent throughout this monologue.
"Am I right?" Beca asks and bumps her with her shoulder. "We're best friends now. So, let's not ruin this with stupid feelings."
She disregards the fact that this is her way of driving other people away from her and putting emotional distance between them. To gradually patch up the barrier Chloe is working hard to overcome. She doesn't think that this is just her, panicking. It's her defense mechanism making itself felt.
She watches as Chloe swallows hard, but then her lips form a weak smile. Nodding once to agree.
"Totes," she says, slowly becoming cheerful. Which seems quite unnatural, but Beca can't point out what is different. "But we still need to talk about what we're doing, Beca. I mean, to avoid future freakouts and awkward moments."
Beca is thinking… If you are not ready to explain your boundaries vocally inside a friendship that carries such minimal, indiscernible "with mild and unchaste benefits," you should give it some serious thought before you two go on. Most events between friends are almost always unplanned, and you have to learn to roll with the punches to prevent regrettable tales of "had I known."However, initiating the "want vs. need" conversation would be best as soon as you feel it will take place. This should be done as quickly as possible.
Beca's mind is, however, unable to voice out what her heart is trying to say. So, she says, "Yeah, but what's the point?"
"Beca, I just... I'd like you to let me know whenever you are overwhelmed with human emotions," Chloe tries light-heartedly, pushing Beca to emphasize it.
Beca feels that same hand on her back as Chloe's tone shifts from demanding to pleading. "Because I can't deal with you giving me the cold shoulder again," she says.
"If I didn't know any better, that sounds like an accusation?" Beca tilts her chin up and casts a glance in Chloe's direction. "Were you fucked up when I freaked out last time?"
Chloe quickly averts her gaze. "Beca, I wasn't fucked up," she tells her, though the firmness in her voice doesn't sound convincing. The fact that Chloe uses profanity is rather peculiar; alienating, to say the least. She covers her eyes with her arm and then closes them after covering them. Chloe is not going to look at her. But the pinkish hue of her cheeks betrays her true emotions.
That's when Beca realizes...
"I didn't like… hurt your feelings last time, did I?"
Chloe appears to tense up. However, it just lasts for a microsecond at most.
"Chloe," she says, moving to sit upright. She scratches her neck as she's feeling completely at a total loss. In the same tragic way that watching a dying animal's final moments makes you feel helpless and in anguish, hurting Chloe does the same to you. "I'm such a dick. I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell me?"
Chloe lifts her arm, which had been covering her eyes, and looks up at Beca. "It doesn't matter now," she responds to her with a tone of subdued eagerness, "I am not the type of person to hold grudges. At least, not for long."
Chloe reaches out to Beca to hug her. And without hesitation, Beca bends down and buries her face on her best friend's shoulder. She seems to be entirely surrendering herself to Chloe's arms as though this is the place where she should be.
But Beca isn't any closer to comprehending the reason why.
A/N: Despite the implication, this is not the start of BDSM. XD But Chloe likes it rough, sorry...
I've changed the song in this chapter like five times. In my original draft, Beca was singing something cheesy, like "Can't Help Falling In Love" by Elvis Presley, and some oldies. Then I changed it to "Hold My Hand" by Lady Gaga (2018). Then I decided to change it to something more Pitch Perfect-like.
You may notice that some things are repeating because they kinda think alike and the POV is jumping back and forth.
Now that Beca's ready to meet the Bellas, do you think they will get along? How will Aubrey treat Beca? Since Beca doesn't want to become a Barden Bella, who will save the Bellas from humiliation? Who will help them through the ICCA Finals? What is Beca's role in all this? Let me know what you think. :D
