Supernatural: Chronicles of the Order 7
Chapter 40: A Matter of Healing
(DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own Supernatural because it belongs to Eric Kripke and Warner Bros. So, enjoy the show! Rated M for graphic violence, adult content, and adult language.)
(ALSO A DISCLAIMER: This chapter contains a trigger warning that discusses rape, trauma, torture, and suicide attempts, so be warned!)
I was up and alert as I was busy after taking care of the children in which they had their breakfast for today. After going to Meereen and returning here to the castle, I had so much to do as I received a letter for a summons after all that has happened. It was from Reuben as he tasked me to go towards a medical summit here on Westeros. Still, I had to back him up as I had a gut feeling that there would be opposition coming from the Westerian Army. By the time I entered into the bathroom, I took off my nightclothes as I stepped into the shower and started cleaning up. I was busy cleaning myself up as I was most likely to be going to work the moment I answer to the summons. When I was busy rinsing off, I heard the door open up as I heard the sound of the toilet flushing again. Once again, I was hit with the scalding hot water as I turned off the faucet and ran out of the shower in which I noticed that Reuben was there behind me. Wrapping myself in a towel around my waist, I turned around as I spotted him there in which he was taking up Dean's bad habits, for I wasn't too thrilled to see him do that to me.
"The train arrives at noon, Sam," he said to me.
"You shouldn't be scalding me like that!" I yelled as I was reeling from my latest shower.
"At least I'm filling in for Dean while he's on Shiganshina."
"At least he's not here to laugh at my folly!"
"You can bitch about it later. Right now, we're going to a medical summit in the Westerian capital of Raithwall. It's also home to the royal family who are still at odds with their own military, which is heavily rife with corruption. As soon as we get dressed, we'll be meeting up with one of your bodyguards on this ride. It's best that you have protection after getting a complaint from General Tetrax. She even bears a grudge against Reiko for slapping her in which she refuses to let go. Now, after you get dressed, we should get going. The train to Raithwall is a long one on this planet and the region this place is in happens to have it on one of the floating islands here."
I saw Reuben leave the bathroom as I got dressed and ready to go. With my dirty clothes put into the hamper, I left the bathroom after I brushed my teeth and hair as I went to my room to pack for the journey. With some clothes and other things packed in a suitcase, I brought out a fresh journal that I bought as I was packed and ready to go. By the time I was ready, I was on my way downstairs to the main hall in which I noticed a picnic basket at the front as I picked it up in which I saw it to be filled with Reiko's cooking complete with some cookies in there. When I was out the door, I saw Reuben standing across the bridge over the moat as he was waiting for me, for we were ready to go and catch our train.
"Looks like Reiko strikes again," I heard him say as he saw the picnic basket in my hand.
"At least she packed enough food for the journey," I said.
"As soon as we get to Raithwall, you better be careful around the Westerian Army's top brass. Some of them aren't too happy with the Empress' family and royal court for meddling into caring for those who have been compromised on the battlefield. As for the Empress' plight, her pleas to her people fall on deaf ears. Even her mother, the Dowager Empress Ithilia, has been pressuring the army to allow the Medical Corps help the troops."
"In a way, you were right about General Tetrax. She really is an intolerable woman due to everything made to care for the her subordinates equates to weakness. No wonder Reiko slapped her on that day after she heard her equating medical care to cowardice…"
And so, we left the castle as we were on our way to the train station. Even though we had a lot to do, we also had to be cautious as the Westerian Army wasn't the type that could budge so easily from their masters, for they refused to cave into the pressure that was brought to them due to the presence of the Medical Corps indeed…
Zaralia was in her room as she was staring at the floating islands that adorned the capital city of Raithwall. The palace she was in was a place that had a history as she was looking at the picture of her late father, the former Emperor. She missed him gravely as she was also given the reins of being an Empress at the behest of her mother, the Dowager, and her three brothers. She loved them dearly, but she never expected to be the Empress of Westeros due to her family being a matriarchy with only exception of one male ruler in the form of her late father. When she left her room, she went straight to the kitchen as she was going towards the cookie jar. She was ready to get into it as she cherished it due to what was painted on it. The cookie jar itself was black complete with the Batman logo painted in yellow. By the time she opened it up, she heard footsteps approaching as she turned around and saw a Draaza woman with a burgundy comb and green eyes enter in which she wasn't going to let the Empress get her way right now.
"You shouldn't be getting into those right now when there's lunch, Zaralia," she said.
"But, Mom…." she said as she steered away from the cookie jar. "It's just one cookie."
"Just because the High Council made you Empress, doesn't mean that you can have your way and get in the cookie jar while there's lunch prepared. The cook even prepared some banh mi sandwiches filled to the brim with meat and vegetables."
"Really?" Zaralia briefly looks at the cookie jar as she decides to have a gander at what was prepared for lunch. "I love banh mi sandwiches. The bread that is made with it tastes really good. Even Atticus, Ivor, and Fabian loved the taste of banh mi sandwiches."
Zaralia followed the Draaza woman, who was her mother, out of the kitchen as she went towards the garden where the royal court were having lunch. The cavalcade of Vietnamese food that stemmed from banh mi sandwiches to pho was a feast for the eyes as Zaralia wanted to get some food for lunch. When she got her food on her plate, she sat at the table as she was ready to eat until she heard footsteps coming into the garden uninvited. She spotted General Tetrax approaching as she was not too happy with the royal family issuing a decree to allow the Medical Corps access to the compromised soldiers who suffered the worst on the battlefield.
"Well, well; If it isn't Princess Pinocchio in the flesh!" she yelled as she glared at Zaralia.
"You can't bypass the decree for the Medical Corps to care for our troops, General," she said.
"All I see in those who receive care from the Medical Corps are nothing but cowards! Every soldier shouldn't be bending the knee to weakness, no matter what the situation at hand!"
"The Order of Letters sent their Medic General here to assess the state of our troops. They need proper care, not-"
"Don't try to contradict me, Princess Pinocchio! I will not bend the knee to your whim nor engage in the lingering stench of cowardice!"
"Don't you dare call my daughter Princess Pinocchio," said the Draaza woman defensively. "If Theodore were here and still alive, he would strip you of your rank for disrespecting us."
"Dowager Empress Ithilia… You may have married the late Emperor Theodore, bore his sons, and even procured that, but the military still holds sway here on Westeros. We make the decisions, not you or that little brat! I also hear that the husband of that intolerable Elf is coming in which I haven't forgotten about her slapping me."
"I hate to break it to you, but you had it coming! I have heard of Lady Reiko before in which her husband is widely known as the one whose birth ended the First Galvanic Uprising that was on Alecrast. My late husband, may the gods and the Matriarch rest his soul, arrived on Alecrast to aid the war effort there. Thankfully, he returned safely to me in which he told me about the birth that caused a chain reaction and stopped the war. You should show more respect to the one who offers guidance to those who need his help, for his presence as a god is needed by all."
General Tetrax left the garden as she was fuming with anger. She wasn't too happy with the Westerian royal family for yielding to the help of the Order and the Medical Corps as she wanted to have a much tighter stranglehold over her military. She had a grudge against those who were wanting help for the Westerian Army as she wanted them to be strong in all forms despite the fact that some of them have physically and mentally compromised. When she left towards the courtyard, she saw one of her subordinates in a wheelchair as he was being consoled by one of the members of the Medical Corps. Seeing those who were tending to the wounded and mentally compromised made her blood boil as she wanted the Medical Corps gone, for she didn't want to be dealing with them right now.
"These are my people, my subordinates," she said as she grabbed a branch as she broke it in half. "The Medical Corps have no right or say in our affairs! The military holds sway over the people, not the machinations of that marionette and her family! If that little tart wants to defy me, then I'll answer back in a coup d'etat! Military rule works! Remember that, Princess Pinocchio!"
General Tetrax left the courtyard as she was on her way to her barracks. Still, she wasn't too happy with Zaralia and her family as the shift in power was just the tip of the iceberg of what would happen next, for she didn't want any form of care for her troops whatsoever…
I was on the train with Reuben as we caught one that was the last one to Raithwall during the mid-morning shift. We were ready to visit the Empress and her family as I was most likely to be overseeing what was ailing the Westerian Army. The long train ride from Tenzo Village was a relief as I saw the floating islands that were on display. By the time we reached the exit to Raithwall, the train stopped as I wanted to know what was going on. Getting out of the compartment I was in, I went towards the front of the train as I saw something that was blocking the tracks. It was a pile of rocks there as I saw them to be in the way of my mission, for this wasn't going to plan after all. When I returned to the compartment I was staying in, I saw Deejatra coming onto the train as she wasn't about to let me out of her sight yet, for she was sent at the behest of the Order to protect me in this mission.
"It's going to be a while before those rocks get removed," I said.
"This isn't the first time that something like this happened," said Deejatra. "The rocks that are blocking the train tracks have been put here due to the frequent opposition to the hired help that was sent at the behest of the Westerian royal family."
"This was General Tetrax's work," said Reuben.
"Nicole Tetrax is a stubborn woman, but she's been planning to overthrow the royal family for a while now."
"And the citizens back the military instead of their Empress… That general has been pulling the wool over the eyes of the public in which she equates medical care for weakness. It's getting old and it has to stop."
"I'll go and clear the rocks," I said as I left the compartment.
I stepped outside of the train as I saw the rocks that were blocking the tracks. The work of bringing them here was done deliberately as I saw a piece of tassel that was on the ground. Picking it up, I noticed it to be a blue one as it was denoted for a general's uniform. I also noticed the rocks to be filled with dynamite as I carefully removed the explosives in which I also disarmed them afterwards. It wasn't long until I used my raw power to clear the rocks as they flew off the tracks the moment that the path was clear. I was exhausted as I was walking back towards the train in which I came back inside the moment it started up once again. Returning to my compartment, I showed Reuben and Deejatra the tassle I found as they had a gut feeling that General Tetrax was up to no good due to what she tried to do. The path to Raithwall was clear as I saw the mission objective to by my top priority, for I didn't want to fail the Empress or those who served in the royal family. Even though I was exhausted from lifting the rocks out of the way, I was starting to get hungry as I dug into the picnic basket and dug out an onigiri that was filled with salmon. The taste of it reminded me of Reiko as her cooking was something that I loved about her, for I would return to her after my mission was concluded so far.
"Oh, Reiko…" I said to myself as I finished up the onigiri.
"It seems that Lady Reiko outdid herself," said Deejatra as she got into the picnic basket. "Her cooking is a godsend in which no one else could cook like she does." She gets out an onigiri that was stuffed with beef as she took a bite of it while she later swallowed it. "Reiko knows what she gives you, but she also has her reasons to keep you happy."
"You've come a long way since we stopped the Red Inquisition from culling the Draaza population in Zavrath on Shiganshina, but my next mission is to oversee the care for the Wisterian Army's troops."
"I know, but after getting an earful from the captain, he's worse than Kazuo when it comes to keeping you on a short leash."
"As soon as we get to Raithwall, the better we assess the troops here on this planet."
I watched the scenery of Westeros as it was mainly oceans and rough terrain. Still, I had to have a bodyguard with me as there would be trouble coming, for I had no other choice but to have one with me due to the upcoming trouble that I was about to face…
A few hours after clearing the rocks, the train stopped as it was at a station in the town of Pitchpeak, which was a hamlet for tourists and weary travellers. Getting out of the train, I took the lead as I went towards an inn that was near the station in which it was a hub for anything. With Reuben and Deejatra following me, we made inside of the inn as we paid for our rooms for the night. When dusk settled in, I was in my own room as I dug into my suitcase and got out my nightclothes for the night. Rushing into the bathroom, I stripped off my clothes as I placed them into the hamper while I turned on the water in the bathtub. I was tired from the train ride as I washed myself in the wash basin after being exhausted from my travels. When I rinsed off, I turned off the water in the bathtub as I got into the hot water in which I was more than likely to be going to bed afterwards. I was relieved from the stress as I was happy not to have damning visions for a while. When I finished up, I drained the water from the bathtub as I dried myself off with a towel while I put in my nightclothes. With my teeth brushed before going to bed, I left the bathroom as I went towards the bed while I covered myself with a blanket. Just as I was about to fall asleep, I heard a scream from downstairs as I got out of bed to investigate.
When I went to the main hall of the inn, I saw a man in military garb enter as he had a gun to his head. He was a young man with navy hair and green eyes as he was desperate to end himself after enduring an ambush. I couldn't let him end it all as I had to do something before it was too late. I sensed the fear and anger in his eyes as he wasn't in fine fettle due to the stress and trauma he was suffering from, for he wasn't about to take it anymore.
"That bitch!" I heard him cry out as he was still holding the gun to his head. "She thinks that she cares about us in the Westerian Army, but she equates us to being cowards for seeking out medical care in this war that has now spread here on Westeros! Damn you, General Tetrax!"
"Drop the weapon," I said as I confronted the young man. "I know that you went through trouble against the Executive Division, but ending your life?"
"I have family in Tenzo Village! If I returned home defeated, then I'm labeled a coward!"
"You're only a coward if you don't seek medical help or support to aid you in your plight. A week ago, I ran into some of your subordinates in which one of them tried to kill herself at Bert and Ernie's. Thankfully, the Medical Corps came to save her, but her trauma is so severe that she is staying in the psychiatric ward."
"Renata… Oh, by the gods! I went up against Liesel and do you know what she did to me? She killed my friends and my captain. She caught me trying to flee in she pursued me to the watermill by the stream. I was captured and tied up in which I saw her unzipping my pants to entice me when I didn't want it. I had a girlfriend who was part of the dead in my unit in which I wanted to marry her when the war was over, only to find myself the survivor that was captured. After the ambush and my capture by Liesel, do you know what happened to me next? I saw her on top of me in which she was forcing me to endure such coerced torture. I wanted her to stop, but she kept going until I heard the townsfolk from the village near the watermill arrive, only for her to withdraw from me and escape."
"The townsfolk saw you tied up in there, didn't they?"
"The local shopkeeper set me free, but he saw me shaking after Liesel forced herself onto me without consent! I wasn't just captured, but violated after what I endured. It's been said that only women and gay men end up raped without their consent, but people like me?! I never looked anything sexual again after what I experienced. I tried to get help, but General Tetrax labeled me a pariah in which I feared going back home to Tenzo Village. Now, if you excuse me, I have a final errand to finish so the pain will finally end!"
I used my raw power to bend the blood in the desperate young man's body as I forced him to put the gun down. He was no match for me as I forced him to walk further towards a chair near the window. I couldn't let him end himself as I had to see him get help before it was too late. When I walk towards the young man, I sensed a vision as I found myself in a battlefield near a village. The tragedy of it all came around me as I saw the man's captain impaled by a spear that was held by one of the Ketch machines. One by one, the young man's unit ended up dead as they were no match for the cybernetic monsters in the form of one member of the British Men of Letters. I later saw him fleeing from the slaughter of his unit as he was caught by Liesel, who knocked him out unconscious.
The vision I had whisked me towards the watermill as I saw the young man tied up to the inner wheel of the watermill in which I noticed Liesel catching him in her sights. What she was about to do to him was despicable as I saw her unzip the man's pants and removed her underwear the moment she was ready to violate him without consent or love. She was ready to force herself on him as she ignored his pleas while pulling out his member from his pants.
"No, please!" I heard him yell. "I already lost Alicia and the rest of my unit, but I don't want any sex before marriage!"
"Oh, this is a warning, Argus Stashell," said Liesel. "You never had sex before, have you?" She sees him trembling. "You wanted a wedding with your girlfriend, didn't you? You wanted to start a family after the war, didn't you? Well, tough luck, because when I'm done with you, your general won't believe a word you say. Let's just say that I've been the one who is violated when you're the one getting the short end of the stick. Double standard ring a bell? Well, prepare for the peep show!"
I saw Liesel crash on top of Argus as I heard him whimpering in defeat. My heart stopped in midbeat as I saw the soldier from the Executive Division on top of him while he was stifling tears and torture while being tied up. He wasn't just getting forced pleasure by Liesel, but she was literally raping him as he was begging her to stop, but to no avail. When she finished with him, she heard some of the townsfolk arriving as she withdrew from him and put back on her underwear the moment she fled. I saw Argus still crying as he had tears in his eyes the moment one of the townsfolk rushed to his aid and cut his bonds while setting him free. Getting up, the young man put his member back in his pants and zipped them up while he was shaking with fear. The vision was too much for me to bear as I returned to reality. The young man I saved from committing suicide was suffering from the trauma he was forced to endure as he wanted to end his own existence until I stepped in.
"Liesel violated you, didn't she?" I said.
"When I was set free, I wanted to drown in the river so I could meet with Alicia again, but I was taken in by the townsfolk who later dropped me in a jail cell," said Argus. "I told them over and over that I was raped, but the village chief refused to believe my story. He said that I raped Liesel when it was the other way around. I was afraid to go back to Tenzo Village when I saw a kind woman let me out in which she heard about my plight and how Liesel and her twin brother, Lorne, use rape as a weapon. She sent me to the Order's main headquarters here on Westeros to get treatment, but I saw General Tetrax in which she spotted me going for help. Instead of getting sympathy for my plight, I got venomous poison coming from that bitch who viewed getting medical treatment as an act of cowardice. She even told me that seeking any outside help was a sign of weakness and she even viewed the Medical Corps as parasites instead of help. I wanted to just end it all until you stopped me."
"I saw your plight and as for the matter of rape stands, it's the women and gay men who are often the victims, but there's a double standard when it comes to people like you being violated for no reason but to use such depravity as a weapon."
"Sam!"
I saw Reuben rush downstairs as he saw me unharmed while sitting with Argus, who was calming down after I averted a suicide attempt earlier. He never saw anything like it before as he spotted the young man burying his face in his hands. The cries of anguish was too much to bear as Reuben had a gut feeling that the young soldier was suffering from more than just losing his unit. He knew the signs well as he had no other choice but to diagnose him with what was ailing him in the first place.
"This man has PTSD, plain and simple," I heard him say.
"PTSD?" said Argus as he was staring at us.
"It's what you have and if I were you, I suggest that you get a discharge from the army and get help."
"General Tetrax never told me about PTSD, which she said that is another weakness in the morale of our military."
"It stands for post-traumatic stress disorder," I said. "Anyone can get it in which the victim suffers from flashbacks of the trauma that gets foisted in front of them."
"It's hell going back to my superiors, but is there any other help I can get?"
"You can go to Chateau de le Mer on Essos. There's a man who can help you and he's been in worse situations than what you went through."
"What do you mean by that?"
"That man who lives there lost his family at the hands of Darbus Toller nearly two years ago. He's been through hell just as much as you have, for he can get you the help that you need."
Without warning, I saw some lights flashing outside of the inn as I had a gut feeling that there would be trouble coming for Argus. Stepping outside, I saw the Impala parked near the inn as I saw Kevin here in Dean's stead. He was no stranger to driving as he wasn't about to let me off the hook yet, for he was also on bodyguard duty.
"Does Dean know that you have the Impala?" I asked.
"Dean's at the Order's main headquarters here on Westeros," said Kevin.
"Is he coming to report in?"
"No, but he's not too happy with the Westerian Army right now. He got word from the Dowager Empress Ithilia that the higher-ups treat their subordinates like crap."
"I just saw a taste of the Westerian Army's continuing negligence to its subordinates. I just averted a suicide just now." I see a Medical Corps ship arriving as it landed in a clearing near the inn. "Looks like we've got company."
I saw several members of the Medical Corps arriving as they rushed to the inn to collect Argus. I also had a gut feeling that I would end up getting mixed up with this situation as I was doing my damnedest to get out of it. Just as I was about to do so, I saw Dunya arriving as she was most likely to be yanking me away from my mission, for I had to stay my ground in order to continue towards Raithwall as planned.
"You already collected Argus for treatment, but you should also get back to your superiors," I said.
"We already know of Corporal Stashell's mental state, but I suggest that you come with us, Sam," said Dunya. "I know that you're on your way to the Westerian capital of Raithwall, but you're needed back at the Order's main headquarters."
"Shion told me to go on this mission, not be sidetracked."
"It wasn't Shion who gave us the go-ahead to bring you to the Order's main headquarters. It was Dean himself and he's not gonna put up with your disobedience. He knows about your mission to Raithwall, but your safety comes first, Sam!"
Without warning, I saw a horde of Ketch machines rushing towards me as they were near the Medical Corps' ship. I had a gut feeling that their intended target wouldn't last long as I had to protect Argus from further harm. I had to protect everyone as I saw them encroach towards the inn. I couldn't let them harm everyone here as I used my raw power to destroy them in one fell swoop. With the threat averted, I felt my knees starting to buckle as I noticed the blood trickling down my nose. I was exhausted again as I ended up overexerting myself once again, for I had to stop the Ketch machines from hurting those who were vulnerable. Grabbing a tissue from my robe pocket, I wiped the blood from my nose as I fainted on the ground. I was unconscious as the overexertion of my raw power got the better of me, for this wasn't the end of our enemies anytime soon…
I woke up as I was in a hospital bed in a sterile room complete with the bright glare of the sun shining in the window. I noticed myself to be in a hospital room as I hated my surroundings due to the fact that I didn't like being confined in them for too long. Sitting up, I saw the intravenous drip inserted in my arm as I heard the sound of a monitor beeping in which I wanted to get out of here as soon as possible. Just as I was about to make my escape, I heard the door open as I saw Dean entering as he was not too happy with me for not changing my plans to my mission to Raithwall, for I was about to be put under both the microscope and the shortest leash imaginable.
"You couldn't take no for an answer, could you, Sam?" I heard him say to me.
"You're supposed to be on Shiganshina!" I yelled.
"And get my ass chewed out by Minara? I saw the reports about how this planet's military refuses to bring in their subordinates for medical care."
"Well, I averted a suicide last night in which Liesel forced herself on the man who nearly ended it."
"And you fell unconscious once again..."
"It's a shame that I ended up getting sidetracked from going to Raithwall, but I can't abandon my mission right now."
"What are you talking about? You're already here and you're staying in bed in this hospital. Luckily, Reuben told us how to get here in which we ended up shoving your six-foot-four tall ass into the Impala. After getting an earful from Dunya and Kevin, you overexerted your raw power again in which you took out an entire horde of Ketch machines. I know for a fact that the Executive Division will catch you off guard in which they won't hesitate to lock you up in the Sol-3 just to jumpstart Project Amaterasu."
"I don't have time for this crap!"
I was starting to feel irritated as I was ready to get up and make a break for it. I was ready to yank out the intravenous drip from my arm as I saw Dean standing at the end of my bed switching one of his arms into his diamond form the moment he wasn't about to let me leave, for he was ready to keep me in bed after what I went through. I hated being in bed. I just wanted to leave this hospital as I even found myself in the place in my mission, but I was sidetracked completely, for I was stuck here.
"Don't even think about getting out of bed, Sammy," said Dean as he was ready to fire his projectiles at me. "You dodged a bullet last night, but there's no way in hell that you're leaving this room."
"I hate being in bed…," I said as I was feeling the pinch of exhaustion gripping my entire body.
"That wasn't all. Before crossing to Raithwall, we had to get past General Tetrax's unit who was guarding the entrance to this city. Thankfully, the Dowager Empress Ithilia gave us clearance by overriding the general's decision to let us in. You should thank her for standing up to that bitch."
"You're really pushing it, Dean."
"I know." Dean is grinning as he wasn't about to let me out of bed. "At least you're safe from the clutches of the Executive Division. If you there in Pitchpeak a little longer, those asshats would've picked up your signal right now."
"Don't be vulgar, Dean," said a voice in his head. "He knows that he and the rest of the Order are welcome here despite General Tetrax's protestations. He also saved the life of one of our soldiers before he ended up silencing himself."
I saw the door open as I noticed the Dowager entering in which she was concerned about my health after last night's ambush. She knew of me due to what I possessed as I was still unwell from overexerting my raw power from last night. And to top it off, I ended up getting a fever as I also felt a lingering migraine engulfing my head, for I was not feeling well after what I went through.
"Your half-brother told me about how you saved the life of Argus twice," said the Dowager.
"He tried to kill himself until I heard his plight, your Grace," I said.
"As I recall, you were a small child when you saved my beloved Theodore. Years later, you grow into a fine man, but is wracked with the exhaustion of the raw power that you have."
"I know…" I felt my head aching further as I used my telekinesis to close the curtains near the window. "I just want some medicine to numb the pain…"
"Do not worry, My Lord. I've sent someone to bring you some tea to drink. Before you jump to conclusions, I implore you to try the tea. It's very soothing for the nerves."
I saw the door open again as I saw one of the nurses bring me a tray that had a cup of tea in it. Setting it down at the table near my bed, I picked up the cup and saucer as I drank it gingerly due to it being hot. The taste of the tea was calming to the tongue as I noticed it to be an herbal one that was native to Shiganshina. I remembered the taste of it as I knew of it to be ashen bergamot due to it having a much more robust than the one that was often used in Earl Grey. What I also remembered from the tea was that it had healing qualities as I felt my headache subside while I was finding it hard to stay awake. Knowing that I was about to fall asleep, Dean and the Dowager left the room as I was slowly closing my eyes. I was now asleep as I felt the headache starting to go away, for I needed to rest up before doing anything else…
I was dreaming as I was in the time of the Elder Days in which I found myself in an abandoned building. The place was old and dilapidated as I noticed my past self getting ready to end it all after he abandoned everything. The guilt he had was too much to bear as I heard some banging on the door to the room he was in. He was ready to end it all as I he took the knife in his hand and began to slit his wrists in which he was wanting to both atone for his sins and end everything he had. To my shock, I saw the door kicked down as I saw Akemi rush into the room to find my past self sprawled on the floor while he was bleeding out. She never saw him like this before as she saw a first aid kit to staunch pressure on his wrists. She didn't want him to die. She wanted him to live as she refused to give up on him, for his life was on the line right now.
"Why, Sam?" cried Akemi. "Why did you do this after Dean reconciled with you at the last minute?"
There was no answer as my past self was becoming listless due to the blood loss.
"I don't want you to die! Please, stay with me! You've already paid for your sins, Sam! Don't fade away!"
It wasn't long until I found myself in a familiar room that my past self stayed in. It was the psychiatric ward he was in after he reached a breaking point and so many sleepless days. I found my past self to be a nervous wreck as he was sitting on a bed dressed in a straitjacket. Even though he was saved from death again, he didn't want to speak to anyone as he wanted to fade away. I only had sadness for him as I couldn't reach him due to this dream. To my shock, I saw Dean's past self rush in as he was adamant into chewing him out for the suicide attempt he pulled, for he was also wanting to punch him for making everyone worry. What I also didn't expect was that Malcolm Hofstra arrived as he was ready to do his worst on my past self, who was defeated and broken.
"I told you not to visit him, Dean," I heard Malcolm say to him. "He had it coming when he abandoned you and your BFF in Purgatory! It's best that he stays put where he belongs!"
"He's already paid for it, Malcolm, so knock it off," he yelled. "I heard you berate him after he helped out on that last hunt! Don't you dare force him to end himself again, you hear me?!"
"You had better company with that vampire than the freak in the straitjacket! You even had better company with Castiel before and after he killed that employee from Weenie Hut! If I were you, I'd abandon your brother the same way he abandoned you. Tit for tat, right?"
I watched Malcolm get out an angel blade as he pointed it at my past self as he was helpless due to him being confined to a straitjacket. He was ready to berate him a little more as he held onto the angel blade as if he was ready to gut his target with it, for he wasn't about to let my past self walk away with a clean slate anytime soon.
"You're worthless, Sam!" I heard him say to my past self as he was maintaining a cold stare. "Your life has no meaning. It never did. All you did was weigh your brother down. You abandoned him and Castiel in Purgatory and you didn't lift a finger to find him. How about staying here and forgetting that you have purpose."
"That's enough, Malcolm; he gets the point," I heard Dean's past self yell as he had heard enough of the belittling in the psychiatric ward. "I'm getting his ass out of here whether you like it or not."
"I've seen angels and vampires become better company than the unimportant piece of trash you're about to cart—"
It was at that moment that I saw Dean's past self punch Malcolm in the jaw as he knocked him out cold. I was relieved that he got fed up with the naysayer as I watched him get out a knife and tore up the straitjacket that my past self was in. By the time I saw him freed, he was a wreck as he had bandages on his wrists where he slit them, for he was desperate to atone for his sins, even if he was still contemplating on ending his life so that no one else could suffer. I saw the tears in his eyes as he had nothing to say after he was being carted out of the psychiatric ward the moment I followed them. When I saw them get into the Impala, my past self didn't say anything more as he wept on the long ride to where they were going to. It wasn't long until I found myself in a slug roe home as I saw my past self staring at the ceiling while laying in bed. He was still wanting to die as he had no further purpose other than stare at the ceiling filled with light sockets and a smoke detector. It wasn't long until Dean's past self entered into the room as he was wanting to check up on him, for he refused to leave his side after that suicide attempt.
"What the hell do you want?" I heard my past self say as he was starting to get angry.
"Totsuka found a case and it's a LARPing tournament," I heard Dean's past self say as he wasn't budging. "As for you, you nearly killed yourself just to atone for your mistakes?!"
"Malcolm was right about me. My life has no meaning and all I do is weigh you down. Why don't you go on that hunt."
"And leave you alone? Not a chance! Your life does have meaning, so don't you dare try to off yourself again, is that understood?"
"Go away!"
"And have you cut your wrists again?! I don't think so! We're stronger together than apart, so I suggest that you get that in your head, you got that?"
I saw my past self get up as he hugged Dean's in which he still had tears in his eyes. I was glad that my past self had a good talking to as Dean's wasn't having it the moment he refused to leave him alone after that suicide attempt. Just as I was about to see a little more, I woke up as I saw the curtains pulled open in which I spotted Dean standing at the window. The warm breeze was comfortable, but I was still reeling from a headache as I wanted to close the curtains and go back to sleep. Unfortunately, I was no match for my older brother as he had the window open to let in the warm breeze that was there in the air, for I wasn't out of the woods yet.
"I had a bad dream," I said as I was still exhausted from using my raw power.
"You look like crap," said Dean.
"I saw my past self attempting suicide. It was heartbreaking in which I saw Akemi rushing to his aid in which he was sent to the same psychiatric ward that was in The Born-Again Identity. He was in a straitjacket, Dean. He had no purpose in life but to atone for his past sins. When I saw him again, he was just depressed as if his life had no spark in it anymore until your own stood his ground and refused to leave him alone. It was a good call in which no one should ever leave the vulnerable person alone after attempting suicide."
"Didn't you save that soldier from offing himself last night?"
"Yeah, but he's under strict watch from the Medical Corps in which they are a godsend in standing up to General Tetrax and giving the Westerian Army the much needed care they have."
"Your summons has been bumped to tomorrow, Sam. After busting up a horde of Ketch machines, you need to rest up before doing anything else, is that clear?"
I didn't say another word as I remained in bed. As for the further problems I was about to face, I had to tread warily as I was in the crosshairs of General Tetrax in this tangled mode of affairs, for it was about to get worse in the long run…
To be continued...
