It had been three days since Marlowe went to the hospital. It was the longest she had left him since he was admitted, and it was killing her inside, but she knew it was what he needed right now. She was going to try to go back tomorrow, but she didn't know if that was a good idea.

He was so frustrated. Marlowe didn't know how to help. What could she possibly say to him to make him feel better? She was having a hard enough time just watching this happen to him. She couldn't imagine it being her in the bed, being told she might never walk on her own again.

She had been so excited for the breathing tube to come out. In her head, it made sense. When his eyes were closed, even when the tube was still in, he looked almost normal. Asleep like he had slept next to her for the last six years. The way she had seen it, when the breathing tube came out, she would have her Carlton back. There would be setbacks, of course. And some things would be different, she knew that. But he would still be her Carlton, right?

Nothing could have prepared her for how wrong she was. His body was there, sitting in front of her, but it was like his mind was gone, completely and totally gone. His eyes looked distant, unable to maintain or even make eye contact for more than a second. His voice sounded deep and gargled. He couldn't move half of his body and the side he could move was weak from nearly a month of complete neglect. He would snap without warning, become violent without being provoked, and become inexplicably agitated in a way that terrified Marlowe and made her heart sink to the ground.

She had been so excited for the breathing tube to come out, only for it to come out and Marlowe to have to face the undeniable truth that nothing would ever be the same again.

She had finally been able to bring Lily home. After they transferred Carlton out of the ICU, she had begun to make a more regular schedule of coming in after work before picking Lily up from preschool. She wanted to bring her in to see Carlton, but every time she brought it up, he would either say no or change the subject.

So, Marlowe sat on a picnic blanket in the park, alone, watching Lily dig a hole in the grass, contemplating how to tell her little girl again that Daddy wasn't ready for her to visit yet.

"Do you want to play tag, Lilypad?" Marlowe asked, trying to work up the energy to run around. Her whole body felt constantly sore, exhausted from the weight of the world pulling her down.

"No," Lily said, not turning around. She pulled a stick out of her hole and threw it across the grass.

Marlowe sighed and watched Lily playing. Her little girl had lost her sparkle. After weeks of being passed around between her own bed and the beds Juliet and Karen had set up for her at their house, Lily had slowly begun to deflate. She seemed quieter than she was before, mostly sitting alone and whispering to herself.

Marlowe wished she could take away her baby's pain, or at least help her make sense of it, but she didn't know what to do. Marlowe could barely handle it herself, and she was the adult. She couldn't imagine trying to make sense of this at four years old.

"Do you want to play horsey?" Marlowe offered again, nudging her daughter with her toe.

Lily turned around to face her mom and let out an exaggerated sigh. "Fine." She rolled her eyes just like her daddy had taught her.

Marlowe smiled back and got on all fours as Lily walked over and started petting her hair.

"Good horsey," Lily said, rubbing Marlowe's back with her little fingers.

"You have to be nice to the horsey and let it know that you are there so you don't scare it," Carlton had told Lily the first time he took her to a farm to see horses. He had always loved horses and was so excited to have a little girl that he could take horseback riding when she got older.

"The horse can't see you if you walk up from behind," He said, holding Lily's hand on her second birthday. "So we have to approach it slowly and let it know we are here so he doesn't get scared."

"Good horsey!" Lily squealed, letting her daddy pick her up so she could rub the horse on the back. "Good horsey!"

Marlowe snapped a picture. Lily admiring the horse. Carlton admiring Lily.

Lily reached up her leg to climb on top of Marlowe's back.

"Giddy up horsey!" Lily said, and Marlowe was relieved to hear her speaking through a giggle.

"Neyyy!" She said, taking a few clunky steps on her hands and knees. Lily wiggled on her back, patting her to go forward more.

Suddenly her hand hit something sharp and she quickly tried to reposition it, but the weight of Lily shifting suddenly forward caused her to lose her balance and she felt Lily slide off the side of her shoulder. She quickly reached out her arm to pad Lily's fall, thankful she was only a foot off the ground.

"Mommy!" Lily cried, holding her grass-stained knee in her arms.

"I'm so sorry, baby!" she said, jumping up to hug her little girl. "Look! No blood! You're okay!"

Lily continued to cry, rocking back and forth.

"Can I give it a get-better kiss?"

"No!" Lily cried again, backing away from Marlowe. "I want Daddy to kiss it."

"Daddy can't kiss it right now. Daddy is still at the hospital."

"I want to see Daddy!" She yelled, her tears turning into angry sobs.

"I know you do, Lilypad," Marlowe said, tears beginning to run down her cheeks as well. "But we can't see him right now."

"I want to see Daddy!" Lily cried again, her voice getting louder. Other parents at the park were beginning to watch, no doubt grateful it wasn't their own child making the scene.

Lily lifted herself off the ground and started running away.

"Lily!" Marlowe cried out, chasing Lily who was heading aimlessly towards the street. She caught up to her and grabbed her by the arm before she could step off the sidewalk.

"Let go of me, Mommy!" Lily screamed, trying to wiggle her arm free.

"No, Lily," Marlowe said sternly, trying to calm her racing heart. "You cannot run into the street like that."

"I want Daddy!" She cried out again.

"We can't see Daddy right now because Daddy doesn't want to see us," she said, frustration pushing the words out a little louder than she had intended.

"I hate you, Mommy!" Lily growled, her eyes looking into Marlowe's with fire shining angrily in them.

Marlowe felt lightning hit her chest at a million miles a minute. In shock, she let go of Lily's arm who quickly ran away towards the bushes next to the playground. Marlowe fell to the ground, letting the gravity take over her body and collapsed her head onto her hands, tears flowing freely now.

I'm trying, Carlton. She sent him a silent prayer. I'm trying to do what's right for you and for her and I just need you to get better because I can't do this alone. And I miss you so much. I miss having you there for me and for her and for everyone else. I need you to come home. I can't do this alone.