Keeping Secrets
But it did not feel okay, not for a long time. The reality of Fleur's pregnancy impacted their lives almost immediately as she struggled against nausea and exhaustion. It was all she could do to drag herself to St Mungo's every day. Her trainer suggested that she should take time off, at least until the nausea subsided, but Fleur was adamant that she wanted to do as much as she could of her training before the baby arrived.
"I can understand that." Her trainer, a kind-faced woman called Ophelia Hamnet, said. "I remember how it was for me when I was training. You want to get on and learn and do more all the time. At least you do if you have a real gift for healing, as you do. But you have to be careful, Fleur. You need to take care of yourself and the baby. If I feel that you are doing too much, then you will have to stop, at least for a while. I can give you potions to help with the nausea, but they will not get rid of it completely, and I'm afraid that there is nothing we can do about how tired you are feeling. That comes with the territory. Just get as much rest as you can when you aren't working."
Fleur fell into bed as soon as she arrived home every day. She ate the meals that Bill brought to her, because he insisted, but it was a real effort to do so, and harder still to keep them down afterwards. She was feeling and looking worse as each day went by, and after a fortnight Healer Hamnet insisted that she take time off. By then, Fleur was feeling too ill to protest, and she complied.
It was becoming very hard to keep the secret of Fleur's pregnancy from Bill's family. She had lost weight, her face was pale, and there were dark shadows under her eyes. With Bill's mother insisting on family meals at The Burrow regularly, it was impossible to avoid the family altogether, and Bill and Fleur were resorting to glamours and other charms to make her look well.
"I don't know how long we can keep doing this, love," Bill said one Sunday morning as he performed the charm that would restore a more normal colour to Fleur's face and fill out the hollows in her cheeks. "Mum's been pregnant six times. She's going to cotton on sooner or later."
"Cotton on? What ees cotton on?" Fleur demanded irritably.
"Find out. Work it out."
Fleur snorted. "Your Eenglish idioms are stupide."
Bill grinned. "Sorry. Though I'm not personally responsible for them. Of course, French has no stupid idioms at all, does it?"
"No it does not!" Fleur snapped, and then sat back onto the bed with tears in her eyes. She sighed deeply. "Your muzzer is going to cotton on as you put eet if I keep bursting into tears at everything too. I do not like being pregnant!"
Bill sat down beside her and put his arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry, Fleur," he said, dropping his teasing manner. "I wish I could do something to help."
Fleur leant against him, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.
"I think you may 'ave to be satisfied wiz only one child, Bill. I do not want to do zis again, I think."
"Fair enough," he said equably. Arguing with Fleur in her present condition was not a good idea. "But let's see if we can just get through today, eh? Are you ready to go?"
Fleur sat up and squared her shoulders. "I 'ave faced a dragon and I 'ave faced Death Eaters, I can face your muzzer," she said, trying to smile.
Bill grimaced. "I'm not sure that Mum isn't scarier than either," he said. "Come on." He stood up and pulled her to her feet, holding her tight to Apparate them both to The Burrow.
It was unfortunate that they arrived in the yard almost simultaneously with Percy and his new girlfriend. Bill saw Percy looking at them with a frown on his face as Fleur swayed alarmingly as they arrived. Audrey obviously saw too, but she gave them a quick smile and then quite deliberately turned Percy away from them, tugging him towards the back door. Bill, conjuring a drink of water for Fleur, decided that he approved of Percy's girl. Once Fleur was feeling a little better, they made their own way into the crowded kitchen. It was noisy and chaotic as usual, and it was easy enough for Fleur to find a chair in a corner without attracting too much notice. It was not too long before Audrey sat down beside her.
"You're pregnant?" she asked in French, and Fleur was surprised enough to answer, "Oui," before she could even think of telling a lie.
"It's all right, I won't tell anyone," Audrey said quickly, still in French. "I think I distracted Percy. I only noticed because my sister reacted like that to Apparition when my nephew was on the way."
"You speak French?" Fleur asked, unsure what else to say. She certainly didn't want to discuss her pregnancy with this virtual stranger, although she thought she might get to like Audrey.
"My mother is French Canadian, so I imagine my French and yours is a bit different, but it's close enough," Audrey said with a smile. "She's also a Muggle, although my Dad, who is English, is a wizard. I guess that's a bigger difference than some French grammar and slang."
"I suppose so," said Fleur, managing a smile. "It is nice to speak French. I miss it. Bill tries, but his grammar is terrible and his accent is – not good."
"I haven't even tried with Percy," Audrey confided laughingly. "But I grew up bilingual so it's not that big a deal for me. Any time you fancy a good natter in French though, I'll be happy to oblige."
They had to move then. The kitchen wasn't big enough to accommodate them all around the table in any comfort, so George, Ron and Harry had set up a long table outside. Bill managed to secure seats for himself and Fleur at the end, and Audrey slipped into a seat opposite, waving to Percy to join them.
"Fleur and I reserve the right to speak French to each other," Audrey informed Bill and Percy blandly. "She says she misses it."
Bill smiled at her. "You do realise that I understand more French than I speak?" he asked.
"It's fine," Audrey said, smiling back at him. "We won't say anything it isn't safe for you to hear."
"What about me?" Percy asked a bit huffily.
"You'd better hurry up and learn some French, little brother," Bill said. "Or we could just have our own conversation in sensible English."
Thanks to Audrey, Fleur almost enjoyed that lunch. It was nice to be able to have a conversation without having to think at all about the language.
The food, however, was another matter entirely.
She was finding that doing any sort of magic was taking more concentration than usual, and by now Bill had become adept at surreptitiously vanishing that part of Fleur's meal that she was unable to eat. He did so today once she had eaten the small amount of meat and vegetables that was all she could manage. He also transfigured her glass of wine into grape juice without anyone but Audrey realising what he was doing. However, when the dessert was served, Bill was deep in a conversation with his father and Percy about Ministry banking regulations (a conversation which Fleur and Audrey both found very boring in any language), and he wasn't paying attention when Fleur pushed her plate away struggling to control her rising nausea.
"Shall I vanish it for you?" Audrey whispered in French, and Fleur nodded gratefully.
"Normally I love lemon meringue pie," she whispered. "But at the moment, no."
"You poor thing," said Audrey, as she pulled out her wand and performed the charm, being careful that no one saw what she was doing. "It seems like you're having a rough time of it."
Fleur nodded, biting her lip and feeling the tears rising in her eyes. Audrey tactfully turned her eyes to her own plate and did not say any more for the present.
The meal finished eventually, and Fleur was languidly helping clear the table and wondering just how soon she and Bill could make an excuse to leave without arousing suspicion. However, when she looked round for her husband, she saw he and his father were deep in conversation with George who was looking upset. (But George was so often upset these days, and of course she understood why, and of course she felt desperately sorry for him, but she wanted Bill to stop talking to him and to take her home.)
There was the crack of Apparition behind her, and the hum of conversation lulled as they all turned round to see who had arrived. It was Andromeda Tonks, with baby Teddy in her arms.
"Andromeda! How lovely to see you!" cried Molly, and Andromeda hurried over to greet her friend, thrusting the baby at the nearest person to hold. That person happened to be Fleur. There was no way she could refuse, short of letting Teddy fall to the ground, but holding a baby was the last, the very last thing she wanted to do right now. She looked desperately around for someone to give him to, but everyone seemed to be busy with their own conversations. Even Harry, who might have been expected to be delighted at the sight of his godson, was talking to Andromeda and not wondering where Teddy was.
Fleur sank into the nearest chair and regarded the baby on her lap critically. There was no doubt that little Teddy was an engaging child, with his father's serious grey eyes and his mother's friendliness. He had the habit of metamorphosing to match the colouring of whoever was holding him, and as she watched, Fleur saw that his hair was lightening until it was almost as fair as her own. Would their baby look like this, she wondered? Or would he or she be red-haired like Bill? It was the first time that she had allowed herself to realise that her pregnancy would end with an actual baby. All it had seemed so far was a disaster, a wrecker of their plans. But there would be a baby at the end of it. A real live baby that she would be responsible for looking after and feeding and keeping safe. The prospect was daunting. She felt herself beginning to shake, and her head was spinning. She could not do this. She could not have a baby, and right now she could not even hold this baby for much longer.
"Fleur, love." Suddenly, Bill was there in front of her, lifting the baby from her lap and looking as if he understood completely how she was feeling. "I'm sorry, love, I didn't realise. I was talking to George." He raised his voice then and shouted across the yard. "Harry! Hey Harry! Come and do your duty and take care of your godson!" Harry came across quickly enough, Hermione beside him, and took the baby from Bill. Hermione gave Fleur a questioning look, but said nothing, merely accompanying Harry back across to where Andromeda was talking to Bill's parents and to Percy and Audrey.
"I can't do this, Bill. I cannot." Fleur was still shaking, and was nearly in tears.
Bill sat down beside her and pulled her to him. "I know, love," he said gently. "Let me go and make our excuses to Mum and Dad and then we'll go home. Will you be okay for a couple of minutes?"
Fleur nodded wordlessly, although she was not really sure that she would be, but Bill was already on his feet and walking across to where his parents were standing. He was back sooner than she had dared to hope, pulling her to her feet and putting his arms around her to Apparate them both back to Shell Cottage.
She had never felt so glad to be going home in her life.
