Setting up his drums, Katsuki looked at his watch, where the fuck were they? Deku had set up studio time for them after his modeling gig. The runt had fucked up the schedule and thankfully Mr. A had been able to convince the client to reschedule the photo shoot for him. It'd been a busy couple of days, between modeling and practices, but everything was fucking finished, they were leaving in the morning. Although after the press conference last night, Katsuki was ready to pitch the nerd off the tour, "damn Deku," he muttered. First ignoring him the entire fucking week, then saying their kiss had basically sucked, missing practices, the damn fucking photo at the bar and to top it off kissing fucking Shitty Hair! Katsuki cranked down on the clamps, adjusting the symbols. Was that what he meant by a better kiss? Was he comparing Eijiro to him? "Fucking better, I'll show you fucking better, I was fucking fourteen," he seethed. The door opened.

"Hey, sorry we're late," Kiri pulled his guitar bag off his shoulder, "the bus was late."

Katsuki glared at him, he screwed down his other symbol ignoring him.

"Sorry Bakugou," Sero dashed in the door, he unzipped his guitar, "Izuku said to say sorry, he didn't mean for us to be late, Shinso is right behind me."

"Deku?" Katsuki sat with his drumsticks braced on his hips, "let me guess, he's not here?"

"Nah, he had to meet with the tour bus driver today."

"Why not earlier when I was modeling?" He knew it, the damn nerd was skipping out on practice again, this was the fourth fucking time. Anger boiled through Katsuki's veins.

"He took us to his dojo, so he could only meet with the guy right now."

"What the fuck you talking about, dojo?"

"Remember?" Kiri put his guitar around his neck, "he said he'd show us some Judo, it was cool, I think I want to join when I get back."

"Wait, you fucking went without me?" Katsuki snapped at him.

"We leave tomorrow," he shrugged, "it was our last chance."

"Fuck that, you could've waited, I'm fucking working and you're screwing around?"

Kiri exchanged glances with Sero and Shinso, "what's up man? You never want to do shit like that anyway, we can go again when we get back."

"Fuck you Shitty Hair, I'm finished with you anyway," Katsuki started drumming out a beat. He looked at the red-head's mouth, was he a good kisser?

"Bakugou, what the fuck's up?" Sero pulled out his guitar, "not just today, you've been a fucking dick all week."

"What's wrong?!" Katsuki bit out sarcastically, "I've been busy while you're all fucking around, annoying as hell."

"He's whining because the manager isn't doing what all the other managers did, Izuku's not doing what he's supposed to do."

"What? Zu's doing everything he should!" Kiri spun around looking at Shinso.

Leaning on the microphone, Shinso smiled wide. "Nope, Midoriya's not making everything about him," he pointed to the sulking drummer. "It's not the Bakugou Show, the manager is working on stuff for us too, actually doing his job." Bakugou snarled at him, Shinso shrugged, "I think we should ask Mr. A to let him stay on after we get back."

Kiri plugged in his guitar nodding, "Zu's done more for us in five fucking days then anyone's done over the past couple of years. I dunno," he smiled, "Zu makes me feel like we're a real band," he glanced at Katsuki.

"What Shitty Hair? What's that fucking look?"

"Nothing," Kiri turned to start tuning his guitar. "I know you don't want him around, but he's good."

"Yeah?" Katsuki barked back, "Good for what? Fucking around with you?"

"We're not fucking around with him. He's been working his tail off," Kiri bit back, "for you too, asshole."

"What's up with that?" Shinso straightened up, walking up to the drums. "You've never given a shit about the managers before, Izuku is good, he's fucking really good. Kiri's right, with him I feel like we could really take off." Shinso crossed his arms, "I say we keep him."

"He's not a fucking pet! You can't just decide to keep him." Bakugou raged at him. "He goes as soon as we get back!"

"Here's what I think," Shinso leaned forward, "you like our new manager and he's not giving you the time of day and it's eating you the fuck up! He's the best damn thing that's come along for us in a long fucking time, so suck it up!"

"He wants to go fucking home!" Bakugou jumped up off the stool pacing the studio. "We've been friends for a long time, I think I know him better than you."

"You haven't seen him in ten years man," Kiri murmured, "you don't know him anymore."

"Fuck you Kiri. I guess you got the inside scoop now, huh?"

"Maybe he changes his mind?" Sero hit one of his strings, the room filled with the deep vibration of his guitar. "What if he wants to stay with us after the tour?"

"I'll bet you every dime I have he doesn't even make it through the tour," Katsuki laughed harshly, "he was fucking scared as shit buying condoms for us. What do you think will happen when he gets a load of the Baby Vandals boarding the bus at our first stop? He's a damned straight-laced nerd, who eats ice cream sundaes and watches All Might movies! He doesn't belong with our band." Katsuki smashed his fist into the back wall of the studio. "Fuck," he shook his hand leaning back against the wall he stared at the ceiling tiles. The nerd was making him fucking crazy.

Sero hit another string, the sound resonated through the room again. "We could tone it down, if that would make Midoriya more comfortable, maybe just do a couple of parties." He looked at Shinso, "I mean, I like the Babies, they're fun, but we're gettin' older, this tours gotta work for us, or I'm gonna have to think about stuff."

"Me too," Kiri sat down on one of the folding chairs. "You still model, this is all I have, I've been scraping by as it is," he rubbed the back of his neck. "My parents been on my shit for the past few months."

"You didn't say anything," Sero looked at his friend.

"Why? Just depressing, didn't want to think about it." Kiri grimaced, "seeing Midoriya was kind of a wakeup call from my past, ya know? All of sudden, I realized I've been doing this almost five years, all I fucking own is this guitar."

Leaning on the wall, Katsuki closed his eyes, his anger roaring like a drum beat pounding in his head. Why? Whywas he angry about the nerd? If he liked Kiri or anyone else, what fucking business was it of his? A flash of fear twisted through his stomach spreading out making his fingers tingle. What was he afraid of? The nerd? He needed to focus on the band, not Deku. Hitting the back of his head on the wall, Bakugou frowned, he'd known things were fucked up, they all knew, things had been going downhill for a while. The last album and sold-out tour had been a stroke of luck, not one that would probably repeat itself at this rate. Then the nerd had walked through their door and everything felt right, like he'd waved some fucking magic wand. Katsuki opened his eyes, everyone was setting up quietly. They were right, he breathed out, Deku made him feel ready to take on the world, that was just his way, like your own fucking cheering squad. His heart leapt in his chest, he'd fucking missed that feeling. Shaking his head, Bakugou shrugged it off, his job was the band.

"Well, I agree with you guys," Sero finished connecting his guitar strap. "I think even Mr. A could give a crap about us. Izuku does though, everything he's doing, it's like we're a top-level band."

Clicking his tongue, Katsuki walked back to his drums and sat down on the stool. "That's because we're that fucking good, would you guys stop sealing our doom here?" Twirling his sticks, he pointed to Shinso. "Freak, cool the Babies, like Soy Sauce said, a couple of parties, nights out, nothing more than that. If the nerd wants to stay on, fine, I'll suck it up, but if he goes, then we find someone just as good or better. I didn't fucking swing my ass in front of a camera all these years to fade into nothing." Putting his sticks over his head Bakugou started a rhythmic beat, "C'mon assholes, let's fucking practice!"

"Should we stop and get something to eat on the way back?" Bakugou tucked his drumsticks in his pants.

"No, Midoriya mentioned he was making his favorite dinner as a treat for us tonight. Kind of like a celebration meal." Sero packed up his guitar.

"Oh shit, I haven't had Katsudon in forever."

"Katsudon, is that his favorite dish?" Kiri swung his guitar on his back, shutting off the lights.

"Always has been, his mom made it every fucking week." Katsuki smirked, fuck you Shitty Hair, he laughed to himself. He knew the nerd, he'd been his fucking shadow after all.

"Hey guys," Izuku called as the door slammed. "Thanks for texting that you were coming," he started loading up the bowls. "I hope you're hungry, I made a ton of food."

"We are," Kiri walked in the kitchen smelling the dish.

Handing him two bowls Izuku followed him into the dining room with a large pot, "Sero can you grab the others?

Sitting down Shinso looked at the dish, purple eyes twinkling, he peeked up at Bakugou. "This doesn't look like Katsudon."

"Oh, it's not," Izuku looked surprised, "I used to love Katsudon, how did you know?" He laughed, "my last band didn't like it, so I came up with a new dish, it's a noodle dish with beef, really creamy. I thought you'd like this one better."

"This is fucking delicious!" Sero shoved another forkful in his mouth.

"Yeah, definitely not Katsudon," Kiri peered over at Bakugou, he started giggling.

"Fuck you Shitty Hair." Katsuki stared at the food.

Looking between them, Izuku furrowed his brow. "Do you not like it? I can order out if you'd rather Kacchan."

"No, it's fucking fine," he tried some, it was good.

"I guess things have changed, haven't they?" Shinso laughed as he took a big bite.

"I think I'm gonna go eat on the couch, the dining room seems to be infested with roaches." Katsuki pushed back his chair and went out into the living room.

"Roaches!" Izuku leapt up from his chair, he looked around on the ground.

The three men bent over laughing, holding napkins over their mouths to keep from spitting food out on the table

"Not real roaches Izuku, you can sit down." Shinso laughed. "We were just fucking with Bakugou and he's pouting."

Green eyes widened, "you're teasing him? And he's upset?"

"Yeah," Kiri laughed "kinda."

Izuku grinned, "nice to know it can happen," he chuckled softly to himself. Digging in, he ate his dinner.

Katsuki sat down on the couch, the dish was really good, but it wasn't fucking Katsudon. Why didn't he know the nerd anymore? He could hear the others in the dining room, fuck, he didn't want to listen to them, his anger was burning close to the surface. Putting in his earbuds, Katsuki scrolled through his phone for something to drown out the fucking extras. He noticed the media file he'd emailed himself from Deku's computer the night before. He looked back at the dining room, they were still eating. He hit play, the movie started.

The song started first with a simple piano lead in, Ordinary World by Joy Williams. Katsuki was sure he'd heard it before, probably a cover, the woman had a nice voice. The photo that appeared was one he recognized, it was one Deku's mom had taken of them when they were pretty young, when he still tolerated hugs from the nerd. He played with his lip piercing. Deku was wrapped around him, both of them dirty from playing, probably at their stupid fucking fort. The picture slowly dissolved into one of him at his drums in his old garage, his hands slightly blurred, face contorted, he'd been singing a song at the top of his lungs. Katsuki laughed at himself. As the song continued to play, he started to listen to the song, the tension of his anger melted as the words worked through his mind, his blood turned cold as ice.

Still I can't escape the ghost of you, What has happened to it all? Crazy, some are saying,

The picture pixeled out, the next one was one of himself laughing and pointing at the camera, some red smudged across his face, the memory shocked him, he'd forgotten, they'd been fighting with watermelon rinds. He'd creamed Deku, covering his entire face in watermelon juice, the nerd had barely touched him. Dripping in sticky juice he'd run to pick up his phone to take the picture of him laughing his ass off at him.

Where is the life that I recognize, Gone away.

The picture slid slowly off the screen, another in its place. It was one of the few pictures he'd ever taken of Deku, they'd been camping and his green curls were so unruly he'd teased him. He'd taken the photo of his hand stuck in his hair running through the knotted curls. Deku was looking up, his mouth open in a yell, he'd been screaming at him to stop, his hands gripping his wrists.

But I won't cry for yesterday,

The picture swirled, sound eclipsed the soft song, it was his voice, young, it was right before he'd left. He was growling at the nerd to stop filming. His hand up in the camera, Deku backing up laughing, until finally Katsuki could see his teenage face, red eyes laughing, teasing, he was still yelling at him. Deku's high-pitched voice saying that he'd be famous someday and this was his breakout video. Bakugou watched as his young eyes rolled, but his mouth twitched in a smile, he'd liked what Deku had said. He sat down on the drum stool letting the nerd film, but he still glared at him. Finally, he began picking out a drum beat, something simple. The cover song came back louder as the movie faded to black.

Left me in the vacuum of my heart, What is happening to me?

Another picture flashed on the screen. This time he was in his basketball jersey, Shitty Hair jumping on his back, he had a wide cocky grin, pointing at the camera, tongue hanging out. They'd won state that night, the team was celebrating. He and Kiri had worked together on the winning shot. The nerd had been in the front row screaming for them both, he'd taken the photo right after the buzzer, when the crowd had rushed the floor.

Where is my friend when I need you most. Gone Away

Pictures dissolving and reappearing, his life with Deku, some very young, most in his teenage years. One of him hooking his mouth with his finger, sticking out his tongue, Katsuki laughed, his signature move when Deku was taking pictures when he was annoyed with him.

But I won't cry for yesterday, There's an ordinary world, Somehow I have to find.

The music slowed, another picture flashed, Katsuki sucked in a breath, his eyes glassy with tears. It'd been the night he and Izuku had gone to an All Might movie, they'd been so happy. The nerd had begged him to take a selfie with the movie poster, he'd given in and let him take the picture. Clearly the nerd had edited the photo so it was just their faces, the bright yellow poster just a fuzzy background. He paused the movie, Katsuki touched the screen lightly. The nerd's face was bright, excited, eyes so wide they were as big as plates, mouth open, smiling wide. His freckled face was pressed firmly against his own cheek. Katsuki snorted looking at his own big mouth open in a wide smile, red eyes gleaming. He remembered that moment. It was right before he started his band and became a little too cool for All Might, he'd been just as happy to be there that night with his friend.

And as I try to make my way, To the ordinary world, I will learn to survive.

The song ended on the last picture. Sitting back, Katsuki pulled at his lips. He'd always regretted not saying goodbye, but he'd only thought of himself missing Deku. He'd assumed the nerd would be torn up, but he was with friends and his mom in a world that loved him. Katsuki had given it all up and come to a cold and lonely life, the only thing he'd brought with him was his memories of his best friend, the only real comfort in his life. He'd never thought of the nerd, how life might have been for him, not having him there, having the relationship he'd cherished gone so quickly. He put his hand over his eyes, fuck, did he have any right to be angry? If he was Deku, he'd be fucking avoiding him too, how hard was every moment for him right now? Having to be around the person that had left a hole in his heart without ever saying goodbye. He'd never asked Kiri about Deku, he wondered now seeing them together, had they created a new relationship? One that didn't involve him? His heart ached, all he wanted to do was walk into the dining room, grab the nerd and hug him, the desire to hold him clawed at his mind. Katsuki saw movement out of the corner of his eye, clearing his throat, he closed the file, pulling out the earbuds, he stared at his forgotten dinner.

"All right," Sero pushed his bowl away after a third helping. "I'm fucking stuffed, Izuku, you're gonna make me fat."

"Come with me to the dojo and I'll make you skinny," Izuku grinned.

"You guys want to hit the club?" Shinso picked up the dishes.

"I'll go," Kiri stood up clearing with him

"Wait, club? You're going out? We have to leave at five in the morning!" Izuku jumped up, "I'm waking your asses up at 4 AM!"

"Izuku, did you just curse?" Shinso made a face.

"Oh!" Izuku slapped his hand over his mouth instinctively. Rolling his eyes, he giggled, "screw you Shinso! But seriously guys, you can't go anywhere, how am I supposed to find you?"

"We know where we live, we'll be back before the bus leaves. I don't wanna be fucking awake all day tomorrow. Didn't you say it was a ten hour drive?" Sero grimaced.

"Yeah but won't you be tired?"

"That's the fucking point," Shinso washed the bowls, throwing them into the drainer. Walking through the living room he hit Katsuki on the shoulder, "are you coming with us?"

"Fuck no," Katsuki's voice was rough, he stood and went into the dining room refilling his bowl, he sat down eating alone.

"Okay, text me if something goes wrong," Izuku wrung his hands nervously. "You better be here in the morning!"

"Don't worry mama hen. This is how we roll." Kiri called as they headed out the door.

Distracting himself, Izuku worked on the last of the dishes.

"I'll do that," Katsuki came up behind him, the nerd jumped.

"Thanks," Izuku walked out of the kitchen, sinking into the sofa. He had a bad feeling the guys would never come back. Looking at the blonde, he laid over the arm of the couch, "will they be okay Kacchan?"

"Yeah, they'll be fine, they do this every time." Katsuki finished up the last of the dishes. He flipped off the kitchen light. "They'll sleep on the bus all day tomorrow, then bitch about their necks fucking hurting for the rest of the tour." He eyed the nerd laying on the couch, he looked worried.

"I guess." Izuku sighed heavily. "I'm just so nervous."

Sitting down on the couch, Katsuki sprawled out, he was suddenly exhausted. "Why?"

"I'm always nervous at the beginning of a tour, there's so many moving parts, you hope you thought of everything."

"Knowing you, I'm sure you did." Katsuki looked up at the ceiling.

Sitting up Izuku hit the blonde, "was that a compliment?!" Red eyes side eyed him, Izuku giggled moving back quickly, "sorry, I'm surprised, that's all."

"You did good nerd," Katsuki said softly.

"Thanks," he blushed, Kacchan was sprawled across the couch, his body so close Izuku could feel his heat, the waves of warmth that washed off his body. Closing his eyes, he let himself enjoy the moment.

"You tired?"

Kacchan moved his leg, it rubbed against his own, Izuku jumped, eyes opened, he scrambled off the couch.

"I am, thanks, going to bed now."

"What the fuck? Sit back down," Katsuki sat up pointing to the couch. His hand was trembling, he felt like he was on the edge of some fucking precipice, staring into a black hole. Was the nerd in love with someone else? His heart drummed a fast and heavy beat in his chest. Everything in his body tingled, he wanted to hold him desperately, take in the comfort of his heat. He blinked, he couldn't lose him to someone one else, he wanted him. His mind reeled with the sudden realization, he couldn't breathe, couldn't get the words out to tell him.

"Thanks, I really need to finish packing, early day tomorrow." Izuku waved and started back to his room.

In one swift move Katsuki leapt up, grabbing the nerd's wrist, he dragged him back to the couch, Deku's body landing solidly into his lap. He dug his fingers into his waist holding him steady. "I said sit the fuck down." His voice shook, fear flooding his brain. He closed his eyes, he knew if he let him go that he'd never have the courage to say what he needed to say.

"Kacchan!" Izuku tried to spin and stand back up but his large hands gripped his hips tight. "What are you doing?!" Izuku demanded, grabbing at his fingers, he tried to release his strong grip.

"Shut up Deku," Katsuki pushed his head into the nerd's back. He couldn't let go. A soft scent filled his nose, he pressed himself closer, it was coming from the nerd's neck, following the smell, he drank in the earthy sweet scent. The nerd was squirming hard, arms reaching over his head, he yanked on one of his blonde spikes. "Ow," he muttered, closing his eyes, he let go, the nerd shot out of his lap. Bakugou leaned over, his face in his hands.

"What was that!?" Izuku spun around putting distance between himself and Kacchan. He rubbed at the back of his neck, the feathery touch of his breath felt like a hot brand on his skin.

"Please don't," Katsuki's voice trembled, he looked up, pain was etched on his face. "Not with Kiri or any of them," he dragged in a rugged breath. "You can fucking ignore me, run from the room, whatever you need to do, fine, I deserve that, but please, not that," his voice went quiet.

"Kacchan, I'm not-"

"Don't fucking lie to me nerd," Katsuki snarled, red eyes flashing, his fingers itched to pull him back in his lap, to bury his nose into the goddamned sweet smell on his neck.

Izuku hugged himself, "I've been avoiding you, that's true, but not because of anything you did, I'm sorry for hurting you."

Katsuki snorted, "you're sorry? For hurting me?" His voice was rough. "C'mere," he patted his lap, "sit here."

Green eyes widened, Izuku shook his head, those words echoing from so long ago. "No, I can't," he couldn't handle another kiss.

"Nerd, don't argue with me, get over here," reaching towards him, Katsuki held out his hand.

Like a magnet, Izuku could feel himself drawn to him, his body shaking so hard, he was sure Kacchan could see, he laid his trembling fingers inside his rough hand. "Kacchan," he whispered. The big hand closed and tugged him back to the couch, his other hand cradled his legs and swung him into his lap. Izuku gasped, squeezing his eyes closed, he was sure tears were going to start any moment, his body shook uncontrollably.

"Are you cold?" Katsuki wrapped himself around his body, the nerd was trembling so hard his teeth were chattering. He sat stiffly not saying a word. "Lean on me Deku, I'll warm you up."

"I'm - I'm f-fine," Izuku tried to calm himself, shivering waves rolling through his body.

"No, you're not," Bakugou ran his hands up his rigid body, "stop trying so hard," leaning back he pulled the nerd against his chest. He buried his face into Deku's soft green curls. The sweet earthy scent filled his senses. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, "I'm the one that should be sorry, not you."

The fabric of Kacchan's shirt was soft and warm, it felt good against Izuku's cheek, he noticed the faint smell of leather and spice. Letting out a long breath, he relaxed. How many years had he waited for this moment? One he never thought would happen, a moment that only existed in his mind. Tears sprang in his eyes, spilling over his freckled cheeks. He knew the response to Kacchan's apology, one he'd rehearsed over and over in his mind, but now it was real. "You have nothing to be sorry for Kacchan." He wrapped his arms up over his shoulders, hugging him.

"That night, I should've said goodbye." Katsuki tried to hug him closer, was it possible to swallow him up? Make him a part of himself?

"No, you said goodbye," Izuku ran his fingers over his shirt, "in your own way."

Katsuki shook his head, "I never said goodbye to you nerd, I'd fucking remember."

Izuku closed his eyes, "it was the kiss Kacchan," he stroked his fingers lightly down his arm, "you would've never done that if you were going to see me again. And the earring," he touched the gem he'd worn since the day he'd pierced his ear. "I remember how many papers you had to deliver to afford this, it meant everything to you at the time."

Katsuki lifted his head, he put both his hands on Deku's cheeks looking into his green eyes, they were a deep dark color. Katsuki smiled, stroking his wet cheek with his thumb. "You helped me deliver those papers, I didn't give you a damn dime, you deserved something."

"I did get something."

"What? An earful everyday of how fucking slow you pedaled on your bike?"

"No, Kacchan!" Izuku tilted his head into his hand, "I - I got to be with you, that was worth everything to me."

"See, that makes it fucking worse," Katsuki hugged him again "I didn't have the balls to say goodbye."

"I forgive you if that's what you need." Izuku thought back to that day. "Do you know where I went? When my mom told me that you'd left."

"Shit, I don't know," Katsuki dug through his memories for somewhere that would be special to the nerd, one was sharpest. "The closet in Momo's house?" Bakugou chuckled softly.

"Nooo," Izuku drawled out, "the stream, down where we built our fort."

"The fort," he smiled, remembering the first photo, "was it still there?"

"No, just some sticks." Izuku tucked his head deeper, "although I did try to get back into Momo's house one time, I wanted to see the closet, sit in it, just for a moment," Izuku giggled.

"Seriously? Even to remember a shitty kiss?" Katsuki snorted sarcastically.

"I was angry, you were teasing me, that was mean of me to say." Izuku's heart pounded, his body ached at the memory of that unforgettable kiss.

"I was a kid," Katsuki growled, "do I get to try again?"

"NO, Kacchan," Izuku laughed into his shirt, he was glad his face was buried in his chest, he could always tell when he was lying.

"Is that because you're with Kiri?" His voice was thick, he squeezed his eyes shut, Bakugou was afraid of the answer.

"Kacchan," Izuku huffed, "we're only friends! I'm not interested in Kiri."

"Maybe on your side," Katsuki growled, ruffling his hair. "Will you stop avoiding me then? Stop running away?"

"Maybe," Izuku breathed.

Grunting, Katsuki leaned back into the couch, he didn't let him go, he wanted to feel the nerd in his arms a little longer. The refrigerator clicked on, the soft humming sound loud in the quiet.

"I need to go to bed, Kacchan."

"Shhh," Katsuki stroked his hair. "You talk too much."

"Kacchan."

"Five more minutes?"

Adjusting his face, Izuku leaned his cheek flush against Kacchan's muscled chest, he wondered if he'd survive five minutes, Izuku's body was alive, every place he could feel Kacchan's body was a direct line to the fierce aching in his groin. "Four minutes," he breathed, a deep chuckle thundered in Kacchan's chest, his breath hot against his neck. Izuku waited, the minutes stretched out like an eternity. "Kacchan, I'm tired," he shifted carefully, afraid he would feel his reaction to his touch.

"Okay," Katsuki lingered for a moment before sitting up, he let go of him and swatted his butt.

"Kacchan, stop!" Izuku jumped up, the blonde grabbed his hand.

"No ignoring me?" Katsuki squeezed his fingers.

"Okay."

"See you in the morning." Katsuki watched him walk to his room, he wanted to follow him, keep him in his arms, he finally turned to his own bedroom.