A/N: I don't want you to get TOO used to 1k+ word chapters, because we will be going back to shorter ones, but... here's another one anyway lol


When Sebastian wakes up, there's bright light behind his eyelids, and something – someone – laying across his chest.

He squints his eyes open to find sunlight streaming in through the bedroom window, and Kurt sprawled across him.

His stomach does a little swoop. He tries to ignore it.

Kurt looks so peaceful like this – peaceful in a way Sebastian's not sure he's ever seen Kurt Hummel. Peaceful in a way he could get very, very used to seeing.

He wonders if last night was a mistake. Wonders if when Kurt wakes up, and that serene look is replaced with the wearier one Kurt often wears, if Sebastian will be part of the reason for that expression.

He tries to ignore that, too.

Last night was amazing. It was everything he'd wanted for so long but couldn't have, but it's not– it doesn't have to mean anything. They were just having fun. Which they can do now, because Kurt and Blaine are… well, they're whatever Kurt and Blaine are now, but whatever that is it's no longer "together," so Kurt can fuck whoever he wants. And if last night, "whoever he wants" was Sebastian, well, Sebastian certainly wasn't going to object.

It doesn't mean anything. It can't mean anything, because Kurt is still hurting, still confused and overwhelmed and still needs a friend, not a boyfriend just as he's getting out of a marriage (and Sebastian tries not to think about the fact that maybe Kurt's marriage isn't over, maybe Kurt and Blaine will get back together in the end, this means nothing so it wouldn't matter even if they did, he tries to tell himself). He doesn't want to be a rebound, usually he has no problem with that because he's not looking for anything long-term anyway but with Kurt things are different, except they can't be different, so he really needs to just get over himself and–

Kurt stirs a little on his chest. Sebastian holds his breath, waiting, not exactly sure what kind of reaction he should expect when Kurt wakes.

Kurt's eyes flutter open a few moments later, and it takes a moment before his gaze focuses on Sebastian, who tries to breathe normally as he says, "Good morning."

There's a flash of something across Kurt's face – confusion? uncertainty? regret? God, he hopes it's not regret, but he can't really tell; isn't sure if Kurt even knows what he's feeling. Kurt rolls off Sebastian and sits up, blinks slowly once, twice, like he's trying to figure out what to say, and Sebastian feels his stomach drop because maybe Kurt does know, and maybe it's not good.

"What… shit," are his first words, dragging a hand across his face, "oh god."

"… Kurt?"

"We shouldn't have– I shouldn't have done this, Bas, I'm sorry. This was a mistake," he says, words tumbling out all at once as he stands, grabs his pants from the floor and starts pulling them on. "Shit, I don't– this shouldn't have happened." He's talking to himself more than Sebastian now, mumbling as he tries to quickly dress himself.

Sebastian tries to swallow the hurt at Kurt's reaction, tries to refocus himself, it's one thing for this to not mean anything but he doesn't want Kurt to be so upset about it. He'd rather apathy. He'd rather be a rebound than be this

"Kurt, Kurt, hey, slow down," he says, standing himself and rounding the bed. He grabs Kurt's wrists, stills his movement for a moment. "Stop. It's okay."

"No, it's not okay, I just– I'm sorry, I shouldn't have–"

"It's okay." Sebastian repeats. "You don't have to apologize to me. And it…," he swallows, then, "it doesn't have to mean anything. We're just– you're attractive, I'm attractive, we're both into guys, we had a bit to drink. It felt good, right?"

Kurt's cheeks flush the lightest shade of pink, and Sebastian tries not to look as the colour spreads onto his chest, too. "Of course it felt good."

"And you're not with– you're single now, right?"

Kurt winces a little. "It's not that simple." He pulls his hands from Sebastian's grip, reaches down to the floor to grab his shirt.

"Shit, no, I know it's not. Kurt, I'm sorry, but just– it doesn't have to mean anything. We were just having fun."

"I can't do this to Blaine," Kurt says simply, turning away from Sebastian as he pulls the shirt over his head.

"You need to stop giving a shit about Blaine." He knows it's a mistake the second he says it, knows he's saying it not necessarily because it's true but because he wants it to be true, knows that it's wrong and selfish but, well, hasn't he always been selfish?

Kurt whirls around. "Excuse me?"

"Look, I guess it's admirable, this whole trying to stay faithful to him thing. But your marriage is clearly not working. And you both know that, Kurt, you came here last night because you agreed to take time for yourselves. So do that! Don't worry about him, do what you want to do." He should stop, just shut up, he knows he should, but he doesn't.

"I'm not going to not worry about him, he's my husband." Kurt snaps back.

"Oh for fuck's sake. He's barely your husband and you know it. Why are you holding on so hard? It's so fucking obvious that it's over, just accept it."

"How would you know?"

"Because the Kurt Hummel I know wouldn't jump into bed with me like that if he didn't know his marriage was over."

"We're not getting a divorce, Sebastian."

"Yet."

"Fuck you," Kurt spits, then turns on his heel and heads for the door.

"Maybe next time I'll let you," Sebastian calls after him.

Kurt doesn't respond, just slams the door on his way out.

He really is the worst. He should be the one apologizing to Kurt, not the other way around, and he certainly shouldn't be making Kurt feel worse about everything, but it just– happened, his walls came right back up and he's never been able to bite his tongue when that happens, he just lashes out and hurts people and he's sick of hurting people, he doesn't want to hurt Kurt.

He just hopes he hasn't fucked this up.

He hopes that there even is a "this" to worry about.