The Curious Incident of the Trip to the seaside
The golden days of autumn.
Harry sat in his kitchen, at one of the tables, Daphne holding his hand. Percy had opened his briefcase and was reading his notes.
"So we'll be released to house arrest while the ICW review the case?" asked Harry.
"Well, there was a surge of sentiment after the article about your family. Some people apparently did not know you had seven children." said Percy.
"Like the person that wrote the article in the Prophet" said Daphne. "Poor Estelle."
Harry rolled his eyes.
"So you really should be back at Numengard soon, so you can be released" said Percy.
"Fine, I'll get us chauffeured over tonight" said Daphne.
"Erm, I was going to play chess with Nott tonight" said Percy awkwardly.
"I'm sure George can drive the car on his own" said Harry.
"I'd feel safer if Nott was there to er, reign my brother in."
"Lets face it Percy, he's your brother-in-law, practically" said Harry.
"Mr Nott is not family, and Hermione, while… an interesting person is not family either." said Percy.
"Tell your mum that" quipped Harry.
"Besides, we'll be in the car" said Daphne.
Percy blinked significantly "You two are serving a life sentence in Nurmengard. You are not a good influence."
"Which is a beat-up and you know it Percy!" protested Harry.
"The whole reason we're going back is to be released by an ICW who have found their moral compass" said Daphne.
"And that Spanish bloke that actually broke the statute" added Harry.
"Well, yes" said Percy awkwardly. "This puts me in an invidious position."
"Well it's not like you can not lie to Kingsley about it" said Harry "Fidelius. It'll perturbate once we're in prison and the secret is no longer true."
Daphne turned her head and glared at Harry. "Where did you find that?"
"Dumbledore's book that mentioned the Fidelius. It was in the dangerous and uncommon errors in the uses of Fidleous charms section" said Harry.
"You don't have any of his books" said Daphne surely.
"Hermione does" said Harry with a shrug. "She brought them from a secondhand bookseller."
"Completely legally?" asked Percy.
"Well, I expect so" said Harry "She's the undersecretary to the Director of DRCMC, after all."
"I hate you" said Percy softly. "You being chaos and destruction"
"That's the children" said Daphne, with a faint twitch to her lips.
-==0==-
Harry and Daphne had lunch, and before they could do anythign else, had to spend an hour kissing the crowns of, and hugging their children.
Teddy went for manly hugs, Harry sniffed anyway.
Having revilted all the children with excissve parental affection, they had a breif respite, which they used to put their prison uniforms back on, and the car rolled out of the garage.
They formed a bog milling blob of children and adults, and every child got kissed againtill they were revolted, including Teddy. Andromeda was sniffling "We'll you miss you" she said.
Harry nodded.
"You distract the little monsters" added Andromeda, more pragmatically.
Harry tried not to look affronted, and held Daphne's hand – if neither of them ran off to hide in the bedroom, they could get this done.
They got in the back of the car , and there were two masked drivers.
"Afternoon guv" said George cheerily "Two to Nurmengard."
The second driver slumped in the seat, and was elbowed by George.
"Ow!" said Percy.
"I can't believe I'm doing this" muttered Percy.
"Mr Weasely" said Daphne politely.
"I thought Nott was coming" said Harry.
George snorted. "He's going to a birthday party."
"Oh" said Harry.
"His grandmothers birthday party" said George lightly, and the car started rolling across the gravel, and took off with a slight lurch. Daphne yelped.
"Is it really his grandmothers birthday party?" asked Harry, as the car gained altitude, passing up into the clouds.
"Well, he sent an owl blowing off my chess night" said Percy.
Harry shrugged, and held Daphne's' hand. She was staring out the window, probably trying to catch glimpses of the house through the patchy clouds.
"George?" asked Daphne "If we are not released fairly promptly, I will expect you to turn up and extract us once again."
"Of course Mrs Black" said George, without a hint of irony "It's just not the same without breaking a few international treaties."
"Is it because I made you godfather to some of the children?" asked Harry.
"The twins come looking for handouts" said George indignantly. "Your twins, invading my respectable joke shop."
"Give them sweets that turn them into something, but make them eat them in the store" said Daphne, "Or they'll use them on the quints." Harry noticed she wasn't staring, mooning perhaps in the general direction of their house any longer.
"Nothing is ever normal with you is it" said Percy, as the car finally climbed up out of the cloud into sunlight.
"What have I done to upset you, Percy?" asked Harry.
"George is a godfather, Bill is a godfather" said Percy.
"Charlie's never home" said Harry.
"And Ginny's right out" said George.
"Yet I am not assigned one of your demonic brood as a godchild" said Percy "It's like you don't like me."
Harry's mouth froze. How do you say 'Well I don't like you much, and I think you're a terrible influence on children.' he wondered.
He looked over at Daphne, speechless. She lifted one eyebrow.
Harry pointed at the back of Percy's head urgently.
Daphne rolled her eyes at him. "Percy" she said "It's not that we don't think you're capable of being a good influence" she began.
Very boring person, thought Harry.
"It's that we were worried they'd corrupt you." said Daphne "They did try to get portkeys from daddy on their first prison visit."
Harry felt his eyebrows raise. They had – he'd picked it.
"I'm an adult, I hardly think a small child is going to manipulate me" said Percy.
"They'd see your law-abding nature it as a weakness to exploit" said Daphne "George is a hardened anarchist, and Bill is already being manipulated by his wife and children – he finds ours rank amateurs."
"Fine" muttered Percy.
Harry leaned over and whispered to Daphne "Are you seriously suggesting our children are a bad influence on adults?"
"I just wanted him to stop complaining" hissed Daphne in reply.
"You didn't use to be like this" whispered Harry.
"Well I don't know, dear, but maybe being incarcerated in Nurmengard for life for going to the seaside for a snog has changed my perspective on things!"
"Changed your perspective?" said Harry incredulously "And you Dear'ed me!"
"I used to think you were a good quidditch player and handsome" said Daphne. "But it turns out you're cursed with the sort of luck one normally associates with someone who does hammer testing at a mirror factory!"
"Which is why I married you" said Harry, feeling irritated that Daphne might imply he was less than a good quiddithc player, and not handsome. He'd won Witch Weekly most handsome wizards four years running.
Daphne inhaled sharply "Don't you dare!" she said.
"Dare what, dear" said Harry.
"Pick a fight with me you…. You… "
Harry narrowed his eyes "Husband" he said. Daphne's eyes narrowed "You're sleeping alone" she said sharply.
"We're going back to Nurmengard, so you're picking a flight" said Harry, He had the suspicion that Daphne got cross… when she felt that things were out of control. And picked fights. The time, before the children she'd got so cross when things with Black Books were going so well suddenly seemed less mysterious. And her fuming after the time the wannbe Death Eaters attacked… it made perfect sense. She was so childish, probably from being spoilt as a child, he mused.,
"It's the children, isn't it" said Harry "It should only be a few weeks."
"What if it's NOT!" said Daphne and she burst into tears.
Harry found himself holding a sobbing woman, and … missing his children, which was mildly remarkable as it had only been twenty minutes, and they were hard to miss. Generally the noise.
Some dust or something got in his eyes and they watered. Daphne's crying made his stomach hurt.
"Was it this dramatic last time?" asked Percy.
"Nah they were asleep" said George.
-==0==-
Harry sat in the car holding Daphne and sniffling in a pile of snotty, tear-stained inexplicable miserableness, for nearly two hours, and they finally arrived at a series of mountains – which Harry was fairly sure were the Alps, and one lonely peak, with a grey tower upon it, which Harry realised with a start, was Nurmengard. Not that far from Cachtice really; no wonder there'd been guards there during Grindelwalds war.
George drove towards the central spire, and descended slowly, passing the lonely single window on the highest tower that had been Harry's cell, and Grindelwald's before him. They pulled up to the next large open hole. Easily two hundred feet down,and George drifted the car gently over, then said
"Well Harry, best to open the doors, we don't want to scratch the paint." said George lightly. Harry kissed Daphne's hair and let her go. She sighed very loudly. Harry's stomach still ached. Probably a bad sandwich, he thought.
Harry hung onto the grab-strap and opened the door, pushing it open all the way, till it folded right over. He looked down, The running-board covered most of the distance to the window-sill.
"I wish we'd brought a plank" he said.
Daphne drew out her wand form her sleeve, and conjured a wooden plank from the inside of the car, all the way onto the window-sill.
"Do we have to leave our wands?" she asked.
"We can hardly explain you having a wand" said Percy.
"I shan't" said Daphne "I'm not living like – like a muggle, like a filthy animal. I'll keep my wand."
Harry thought that while Daphne was technically correct, most muggles didn't live like filthy animals.
Percy twisted around on the seat and looked into the rear of the car. His mask covered his eyes and mouth like a big handkerchief.
"Mrs Black, you simply can't have anything you didn't have when you left." said Percy. Daphne tapped her wedding rings with her wand, and they vanished. "I'm keeping my rings and my wand."
"Harry" said Percy "You have to be reasonable"
"Dear" asked Harry "We have to assume we'll be searched on the way out of Nurmengard."
"Why?" asked Daphne "The guards don't seem that clever. You'd think of, because you're sneaky – they think we've been in here for the last two months."
George pulled two wands out of his coat without turning around and held them over the front seat. Plain pine wands. "Plain wands, not the best, but if you have to throw them out the window, it's no great loss."
Daphne grudgingly put her wand into Percy's hand, and Harry handed his over, and took a pine one. It felt little better than a stick.
The plank really helped get into the room, where under the blanket, the decoy dummies were still muttering and moving around. Daphne banished them into the car and vanished the plank. Percy waved, and the car door closed, the car vanishing completely, and there was nothing but the faint, fading sound of an engine.
Daphne started casting cleaning spells on the room, and Harry quickly followed suit, making sure to make the loo hole particularly clean, and cast his most overpowered softening and warming charms on it.
He turned around the see Daphne using a piercing hex to drill a hole in the end of the cot-frame, which she enlarged till the pine wand fitted into it. Harry softening-charmed Daphne's pillow, and started cleaning and warming-charming the floor.
By the time he was done, Daphne had made a hole in the bottom of one of the table-legs, and was testing the fit with her wand "Harder to get to, but they'd never look here" she said, with a sniff.
"They'll come back and get us out if anything goes wrong" said Harry.
"Next time we're incarcerated, you can get your friends to destroy the prison" said Daphne, her lips thin and pale. "Sod the bloody ICW."
Harry thought for a moment about saying 'that would make us as bad as Voldemort,' but he saw the look in Daphne's puffy eyes and decided that not saying anything might be a better idea.
They hid their wands before going to sleep.
Harry woke up holding Daphne in a scratchy bed, and thought 'well, at least nobody wakes us up first thing in the morning.'
Harry kissed Daphne's hair, and she rolled over and mumbled something incoherent. Harry put an arm over her and settled into the boredom of being in prison. Like Privet drive but with one's wife as well. So at least there was snogging.
-==0==-
George dumped the decoy dummies in Harry and Daphne's bed and covered them up.
They almost immediately started talking.
"Not right now, I've got a headache" said Decoy Daphne.
"Oh darling" said Decoy Harry mechanically.
The dummies moved about a little.
"Do you honestly think this will fool their children?" asked Percy.
"It fools prison guards" said George.
Percy put his hands on his hips "Honestly"
"Besides, they can use it them like rocking horses" said George. "It sounds like them, and they move a bit." And he pulled the covers over and eyed the … somewhat convincing dummy Harry and Daphne that resulted.
"Would fool mum" said George "For a minute anyway."
-==0==-
Daphne duplicated the meal-trays as soon as the guard was gone. Harry faintly remembered something about duplicating food, but also that it had been that or starve during his time on the run during the war, and two loaves of bread was two loaves of bread.
Daphne curled up against him in the bed after they'd eaten all they could. "And now we wait" she said.
"A few weeks" said Harry, putting an arm over her and kissing her hair.
"No. I'm cross with you" said Daphne.
"Snuggling" said Harry. Daphne shifted like a large cat and Harry inhaled the smell of her hair, which still smelt like her shampoo today.
The next day, Daphne worried all day about the ICW, and the children, and her worry was infectious. Harry spent most if it cuddling her. Which he had to admit to himself was pretty comforting.
-==0==-
A worry-filled week later, they were taken from their cell, down the stairs to the meeting room and chained to the walls. The flagstone floors were cold and gritty under Harry's feet, and they were seated, once again at either end of the long table.
Percy came in, escorted by guards with a briefcase.
"Harry, Daphne" said Percy "I finally bring good news."
"Really?" asked Daphne.
"The ICW have agreed, after strong pressure from the British and Eastern-European states, to a re-trial, given, rather damming evidence that you two did not breach the statute. At least not intentionally." said Percy solemnly.
Daphne took a breath "Really?" I could see my children again?" she said, and that to Harry's ear sounded pretty fake. But the little tear on her face didn't look fake.
"Yes, you'd be under house-arrest till the re-trial in Bern, but apart from not leaving the grounds, you'd be fairly free. The ICW will be stationing guards, and there will be good-behaviour bonds."
"Really" said Daphne slowly "What's the bond?"
"Eighteen thousand galleons" said Percy, swallowing. Daphne got a calculating look in her eyes. "Fine" she said. Harry could distinctly remember that the Black family vault had several hundred thousand, before he'd married her, so eighteen thousand was nothing. He resisted the urge to smile, and instead looked Daphne in the eyes, and winked. She blushed all the way to the cute freckles across her nose that she couldn't cover in foundation till she got home.
"So, Percy?" asked Harry "When do we get out?"
"Tomorrow" said Percy "There was some resistance from certain countries to such an early release to house-arrest, but miss Davis paid your good-behaviour bond immediately, and a few days later Denmark's Mugwump stopped stone-walling."
Harry was pretty sure he just saw Daphne's eyes glint.
"So we go back to our cell and wait one more day?" asked Daphne.
"I am only a messenger" said Percy – Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for magic in the UK.
The guards did take them back to their cell. Daphne hugged Harry and Harry held her close "We made it" he said.
"I hated it" moaned Daphne. "And my feet hurt."
"Don't worry dear, you'll be wearing shoes as soon as you get home" said Harry, and Daphne looked up at him from his chest "Shoes?" she said. "You mean high heels?"
"Fluffy slippers" said Harry "Till the children are tired out anyway."
"Well it's a good thing Jimmy's a good cook because I want some restaurant food" said Daphne, looking up at Harry. He bent down and kissed her softly "We're going to win this one" he said, his mouth almost on hers and kissed her again, and this time she pressed back firmly, grabbed his bum in a pincer-like hand, and groaned.
The next day, without a search, they were led down the stairs, then down another nine flights, and not searched, and out the huge front gates of Nurmengard. There was a crowd of reporters and photographers waiting.
Daphne mouthed 'no search' at him, and it looked suspiciously like she might be insufferable later.
The press had piled up in the rocky flat area in front of Nurmengard, and almost blocked the way.
Percy, in a formal wizengamot robe and hat was waiting for them, with a couple of people Harry suspected were British mugwumps.
"Mr Potter, how was Nurmengard" shouted one reporter.
"No comment" said Harry.
"Mrs Black, how was Nurmengard?"
"I would not recommend it" said Daphne. "Not even one star."
"Why did Commander Vignes resign?" asked another reporter loudly.
"I expect he wanted to work somewhere else" said Harry "I certainly would."
"If you will excuse us" said Percy "I believe the Black's wish to go home to their family."
Harry's black car landed outside the prison building ,and the back doors opened.
Harry and Daphne, barefoot and dressed in striped prison uniforms got into the car, and the doors shut, then the car rolled along the flagstones in front of Nurmengard for a moment, then took off into the air, fading from visibility.
"Mr Weasley, wasn't that the car that got them into Nurmengard in the first place"
"I believe so, yes" said Percy, with a quirk of his lips.
"Doesn't that make a mockery of the ICW arrest"
"I feel that the ICW re-trial this summer is the appropriate place for that question" said Percy. "But given that there has been an arrest for a wilful statute breach with that very car, but not of one of the Blacks, I feel the question will answer itself." To anyone with a working brain.
Harry collapsed into the back seat, and held Daphne.
Once they'd been flying for a while, the co-pilot turned and lifted their mask, and it was of all people, Andromeda Tonks.
"Daphne, Harry, I took the liberty of getting Jimmy to make a small hamper for you both" said Andromeda, and heaved a hamper over the seat-back.
Daphne opened the lid and lifted a linen-wrapped lump, and unwrapped it. A crumbed, deep-fried cheese. Daphne licked her lips "Oh yes" she said, and bit into it. Harry just stared at her lips.
-==0==-
Back at Potter house a day later, in the office, Harry sat in the chair behind the desk, with Daphne on his lap, and Hermione sitting in the visitors chair.
"How do we get the stone back" asked Harry.
"Well knowing who has it would be a start" said Hermione.
"Kingsley, Percy implied the Department of Mysteries has it" said Harry.
"Well" said Hermione "I certainly would not advocate invading the Department of Mysteries." she paused "Again."
"We were troubled teenagers" said Harry. Daphne turned to look Harry in the eyes and frowned at him.
"What you need" said Daphne "Is someone on the inside."
"We don't have someone on the inside" said Hermione.
"You'd love it there" said Harry.
"I would not – they are very rude about the damage we did." said Hermione. "Percy says – I 'can't say."
"Damage?" asked Daphne.
"We broke some things" said Harry vaguely.
"We were fighting a pitched battle against Death-Eaters, it wasn't our fault" said Hermione.
"Corner" said Harry.
"No" said Daphne immediately "That's his job."
"We're just going to ask him to find out where it is" said Harry "It's not like I'd ask him to steal it back."
"You are not getting my sister's boyfriend fired!" said Daphne "Besides, we don't have the leverage."
"He was in the DA" said Harry.
"Dumbledore's bloody army is not some secret society with the goal of destroying civilisation as we know it !" said Daphne.
"That's what we started it as, effectively" said Harry. "Besides, I can tell him about some of the exotic curses Bill got for me, to protect our house."
"I thought you already had"
"I lied a bit" admitted Harry.
"How much is a bit?" asked Hermione.
"Hermione, please" said Daphne politely "I'll question the suspect, you be good cop."
Harry smiled rather smugly.
"Harry – how much lying?" asked Daphne looking Harry in the eyes, her face inches from his.
"I lied about how power-hungry the curse was" admitted Harry "Said it needed to be re-cast weekly."
"That's not going to interest an Unspeakable" said Daphne.
"I need to re-cast it, it needs doing every few months." admitted Harry.
"What?" exclaimed Hermione.
"I get tired just thinking about casting it" admitted Harry "It's supposedly impractical, apparently the arithmancy's all wrong or something. I skipped that bit in the notes and just cast it."
"I hate it when he does this" said Hermione.
"Harry, dear, that's not enough bait" said Daphne. "And why didn't it work when we were attacked?"
"I only got it once you were pregnant" admitted Harry.
"Oh" said Daphne, and she frowned at him again.
"Oh for gods sake, just bloody snog for a minute and get it out of your systems" said Hermione. Harry's arm squeezed Daphne's hips "Snog for a minute?" he asked.
"Not in company" said Daphne.
"Oh come on , It's Hermione." said Harry "She's got a strong stomach."
Hermione started some sort of loud complaint and choked it off as Daphne kissed Harry tenderly on the lips. Harry kissed her back, his left arm sliding slowly up her back into her hair. The snog started properly and after what felt to Harry like seconds, Daphne stopped "That's probably enough" she said huskily, and licked her lips. Her delicious, pink lips.
"Fine she's not an iceberg" grumbled Hermione. Harry felt pleased he'd got in the habit early of locking Grimmauld place off before starting any extended snogging sessions. Daphne winked surreptitiously at Harry and turned back to face Hermione.
"Look, we can bribe Corner with… oh , some books" said Harry. "He's a Ravenclaw he'd like books."
"My sister!" said Daphne.
"Look, the chances of him being incarcerated are tiny" said Harry.
"She likes him, you can't just have a succession of my sisters boyfriends going to Azkaban" said Daphne. "What would people say."
"Look… if he gets incarcerated, I'll break him out. How about that?" asked Harry.
"Like Voldemort" said Daphne, rather sarcastically.
"Oh come off it. We'll use the car" said Harry "It's good enough for Nurmengard. And I can do a hundred Dementors."
"Harry, you did a hundred Dementors when we were fourteen" said Hermione.
"Actually I was thirteen, but yeah" said Harry.
"Your plan has a flaw" said Hermione "Everyone knows your patronus is a Stag."
Daphne chuckled slightly "Do it" she said, and Harry drew his wand awkwardly around Daphne and cast a patronus. The gigantic silvery Irish Elk wandered about.
"It's changed" said Hermione "Why'd it change?"
Harry shrugged, and felt Daphne lean back against him "I miss the taste of nutmeg in it" she said.
"I don't use that memory anymore" said Harry.
"What?" asked Hermione "Why'd it change, what memory did you use – don't tell me Gre – Daphne has a big female deer as a patronus?"
Daphne lifted her nose in the air "Don't be vulgar" she said, and drew her wand, and on her first try, managed the get her patronus to appear – a large silvery Swan, that craned it's head at Hermione and flapped its huge wings. Harry could easily imagine Daphne's Swan was hissing at Hermione.
"Tonks's patronus changed to be the same as Professor Lupin's" said Hermione "And your mother's was a doe, like your father's was a stag."
"Well, that's very twee" said Daphne "Mine is, and always has been, a swan."
"Beautiful, a little snake-like, and quite capable of breaking a man's arm" said Harry.
"Cho Chang had a Swan Patronus" said Hermione.
"I have a type" said Harry, and was viciously elbowed. He felt, while in some pain, that it rather proved his point.
Daphne gave her wand a flick, and the Swan furled it's wings and paddled sedately to Daphne and craned its' head down.
"Go to Esme, tea for three there's a dear" said Daphne, and the swan turned and paddled off through the wall.
Hermione narrowed her eyes "So we've agreed Corner is our inside man?" she said.
"I don't want him endangered. My sister will be inconsolable" said Daphne.
"He just snoops a little" said Harry waving one hand dismissively.
"What about using an invisibility cloak?" asked Hermione.
"They probably have it – " started Harry.
"Just an ordinary one" interrupted Hermione "You know- demiguise hair."
"She's got a point, they're a few thousand galleons, but Corner would be less likely to be spotted snooping" said Daphne.
"Or, a Hand of glory" countered Hermione "Borgin and Burkes, a few hundred galleons, so simple even Malfoy could use one"
Harry looked at Hermione carefully "You checked the prices on hands of glory why?"
"They turn up in raids" said Hermione. "The mess when one falls into muggle hands…"
"Ugh" said Daphne. "They're gross."
"But we're agreed, Corner's our inside man?" asked Hermione.
"I'll go sound him out" said Daphne.
"You're on house arrest" said Hermione.
Daphne harrumphed.
"Fine" said Harry "We'll invite them both for something."
"Dance night" said Daphne. "To give us adult company while we're under house arrest."
Hermione nodded. "What should we use as a bribe?"
Daphne sighed "Why are you two so… so… such law-breakers."
"Habit" said Harry "School taught me to never trust any adults, and break all the rules."
"And that we'd see Harry in June in the infirmary, having nearly died" added Hermione.
"One good thing about you being under house arrest" said Daphne. One of the window-panes bonged loudly, as if something bounced off it.
"Was that an owl?" asked Hermione, but Daphne was already on her feet and moving for the door.
"Sounded more like a bludger" said Harry, standing, and feeling pins-and-needles in his legs.
Harry got to the back door, and found Daphne standing just outside, her arms crossed, staring. His children, in children's quidditch armour on brooms hovered over the kitchen garden. Beyond them, looking embarrassed, were a number of ICW Aurors on brooms.
Harry spotted the snitch floating over the bamboo that was holding up the sugar-snap peas.
"What have I said about playing quidditch next to the house?" asked Harry.
"But daddy, all the windows are charmed unbreakable" said Caph.
Harry took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Altair, at least had the temerity to blush. The quints were hovering quite well, he noticed. Six, nearly seven-year-olds totally could play quidditch.
"Excuse me" said Daphne rather loudly "I was under the clearly mistaken impression that the ICW had sent Aurors to act as guards for our house-arrest… not to play quidditch with my pre-teen children."
The oldest, and probably most senior of the Aurors flow closer. Harry admired their sang-froid.
"You two are indoors, and we had brooms anyway" said the Auror "And the kids were so bored, without anything to do"
Harry closed his eyes and hoped this was all a nightmare. He opened his eyes. Nope, the Aurors were still acting as patsy's for the children.
"Children?" asked Harry "You couldn't possibly play quidditch at, I don't know, the Burrow, with some of the innumerable Weasleys?"
"But you can't come" said Caph "we're doing this out of solidarity." Harry was honestly impressed with that as an excuse. He checked Daphne – who had a faint smile under her frown.
"Children" said Harry "You can't use Aurors as a pickup quidditch team. You could get hurt."
"Well, they play pretty rough for kids" said the lead Auror. Harry quickly checked Caph, and she had a suspiciously innocent look on her face.
"Caph. Come here" said Daphne, and Caph flew down and dismounted gracefully in front of Daphne, Daphne hugged her – and pulled a couple of bent forks out of her forearm guards. Harry pretended not to notice as Daphne slipped the forks into her robe pocket.
"They're wearing armour anyway" muttered Caph.
Harry drew his wand – and the Aurors flinched. He cast a soft shield against the house "There's a soft wall boundary on the pitch now" said Harry "Anyone damaging the garden –and I mean anyone will be helping Mr Tweedle fix the plants."
Harry twiddled his wand like a paintbrush, and felt for the old Chinese protective curse – it had faded rather a lot, so he concentrated, turned to the house and started casting.
"Dear" said Daphne quietly "Now is not the time"
Harry stopped, irritated, and turned, to find seven Aurors flying in a hawkshead formation, wands out, pointed at him.
"Just propping up the house defences, the charm needs re-cast often" said Harry. The lead Auror shook his head.
"Fine" said Harry, feeling very irritated. 'A man tries to do a little property maintenance, and the bloody ICW tell him he can't,' he thought to himself.
"Daddy?" asked Caph in a wheedling tone "Can we at least finish the game."
"Who's winning?" asked Harry.
"Um, them" said Caph.
"Well, try finding the snitch then" said Harry offhandedly "It's over by the sugar-snaps" he added quietly.
Harry went back into the kitchen, and Hermione blocked his way.
"They're only six years old, they're too young to play quidditch" she said, hands on hips.
Harry exhaled and rolled his eyes "Hermione, not everyone is crap at flying. All my children, have, of course inherited being exceedingly awesome on a broom."
"And bad eyesight" said Daphne, closing the kitchen door, and peering into a large pot on the stove.
"Kohlrabi" said Jimmy "For the soup."
"But they could get hurt" sad Hermione.
"They're on Comet fives, which can't even do fifty miles an hour" said Harry "And their armour is charmed thanks to my lovely wife, with momentum-arresting spells. If they're not on a broom, they slow like you threw the into molasses, unless their boots are touching the ground."
"Don't worry, there's a side-channel to disable that" said Daphne. "I have an amulet, if I hold, they're slowed like an impedimentia."
"Why doesn't school quidditch armour have that?" asked Hermione, her eyebrows banging together.
"Because the brooms and armour had to be enchanted together, and it cost an annoying sum" said Daphne.
"Besides" said Harry "the other kids at Hogwarts would laugh at anyone with kiddy armour and a twenty-year out-of-date broom."
Hermione looked thoughtful "If they play the Weasleys, with slow brooms, don't they always lose?"
"Nah" said Harry "It evens things out a bit, besides, they're not old enough for a proper broom. Slow and steady" he said, and to prove him a liar, a child visibly bonged off the window, turned and accelerated away, black ponytail flapping. Daphne looked thoughtful for a moment "Hesper" she said.
"Harry, didn't you cast a charm?" asked Hermione.
"Hesper will be working out if she can use it as a bounce-wall to reflect herself off" said Harry idly "She's got her mums' brains. Theres' no way they're all getting sorted into the same house."
Hermione lowered her arms and said quietly "Does Hogwarts have insurance, do you think?"
"They rebuilt after the war, no problem" said Harry "There's nothing to worry about. Now, back to the study, we've got a scheme to … um. Scheme."
Daphne sat on the office chair, and successfully conjured a wooden chair for Harry, which he sat in gingerly, and relaxed.
Hermione closed the door "So. Corner, with a hand of glory, in the Department of Mysteries." she said.
"And he's not stealing them" said Daphne "He's not going to Azkaban, Tori would think Harry just had it in for her."
"I Like Mike" said Harry "He stops Tori visiting every time she gets bored – or she gets less bored, I don't really care."
"Shouldn't they get married?" asked Hermione "They've been dating for several years?"
Harry rolled his eyes "Someone said to their sister to take a long time, and be sure before she got married."
"Well, it's not like rushing into marriage could possibly help their relationship" said Daphne "Look at ours."
"Doesn't count, dear – that was your father and Mrs Malfoy." said Harry "Besides, I got unfeasibly lucky and married the perfect witch."
"Suck-up" said Hermione.
"How is Theodore?" asked Daphne pointedly.
"Theo is fine" said Hermione "Rather distracted by this thing he's doing for Black books. Are you really selling the goblins of Switzerland a mechanical computer?"
"They're gnomes, and it's an analytical engine, in honour of its inventor" said Daphne. "The bigger problem is finding someone to provide support to the gnomes when the engine is operational."
"Surely the software of Gringotts is working properly now, and they'll just use that?" asked Hermione "My father did go on about how much the Practice Management Software cost, on top of the computers."
Harry looked over at Daphne, who'd gone awfully pale. "Software?" she said, and pursed her lips.
"Surely you're selling them the software as well?" asked Hermione.
"We didn't have any when we sold it to Gringotts" said Daphne, her head lowering towards her chest.
"How did that ever do anything then?" asked Hermione "The Goblins wrote the software for their computer?"
"I think Theo did" said Daphne, distractedly. "To start with."
"Well, just sell what Gringotts have now" said Hermione "It's worth more than the computer, and you won't have to solve two sets of computer problems, just one."
Daphne let out a choked sob. "Husband" she croaked.
"What is it Daphne, are you all right?" asked Harry.
"I… I think I may have made a mistake." said Daphne.
Harry got up and patted Daphne on the back "It's all right love, what's the problem?"
"I um" said Daphne, staring at the floor "I fear that we don't own the software on the computer. It may count as part of the labour to install and make working part of the bill."
"Oh" said Hermione. "Does that mean the goblins own it?"
"Oh shit" said Daphne, and she started to cry.
Harry knelt by her chair and wrapped her in a hug. "There there love" he said. "Neither of us knew at the time. We'll just… have to get Theo to bring a copy back to the office."
"Does Black Books have a computer in the back of the shop?" asked Hermione "Theo never mentioned it?"
"No" said Daphne "It cost a fortune to make, and it's the size of a train."
Hermione frowned "So… the shop doesn't have a computer."
"That is what I said, oh great wise one" said Daphne.
Hermione stared at the desk, for some reason "But.. you could have one here." she said finally.
"We're not having one of those huge noisy things here" said Daphne.
"I mean a proper computer. A … muggle one" said Hermione.
"But they're different" said Daphne "Theo explained that. They use different runes or something."
"Oh" said Hermione.
