A/N: This story is based off of the song "Weapon of Choice" by Fatboy Slim. I wanted to make sure to try to capture the quirky nature of the song and took a lot of inspiration from the lyrics. So I hope you enjoy this one that is a little bit different.

Weapon of Choice

The seas leaving Thriller Bark were welcomingly temperate, as the Strawhats continued their journey through the Grand Line. During the few days until they hit the next island, the Thousand Sunny was filled with laughter and the pleasant sound of violin from their newest crewmember. It was a good time for productivity, especially since Usopp and Franky were feeling super inspired from their latest battle. They had shut themselves away in Franky's workshop for long hours tinkering. The only time Usopp wasn't in Franky's company, it felt like, was during meals and evenings when the shipwright would mysteriously disappear for lengthy periods of time. Robin could not feel too neglected though, as this "mysterious time" was when Franky was with her.

In fact, to her pleasure, despite his intense work hours, the man never once failed to meet at her request. A note subtly dropped in a bucket of nails or tucked into his speedo's waistband, was enough to ensure he would be in her arms, pressed against a library shelf that night. The risk of the note accidentally being spotted by another party first was just an added bonus. It reminded her of some of the few fun parts of working for an underworld organization like Baroque Works.

The joy of the chase was short lived however, as within the week they were already nearing their destination's shore. Nami told the crew that the island was named Hanks, but the thing that immediately stuck out to Robin was the large Volcano which stood at the island's center. It could be a good opportunity to see if there was a thriving village in such a hostile environment.

From her lawn chair Robin was suddenly startled by a large rumble which seemed to rock the land and sea. She clutched her chair, resisting the urge to express her surprise, while the rest of the crew hollered in surprise. She could hear Franky's gravelly voice yell before letting out a particularly colorful string of swear words. She chuckled.

"What was that!" Nami exclaimed, bringing voice to what they were all thinking.

"It was probably Moss-head!" Sanji yelled, pointing at the swordsman who was lifting a set of absurdly large dumbbells. The cook was covered in some sort of brown fragrant broth. He threw the pan he had been holding to the Sunny's ground when Zoro only responded with a disgusted look of confusion.

"Guys stop!" Nami ordered. "It was obviously something from the sea."

Sanji was immediately brought to his knees, simpering at her feet. "Yes, Nami-swaann~"

This was a point Robin felt would be good to cut the tension. She closed the book she had been reading in her lap and sat up. She could sense Franky and Usopp peeking out at the deck from the workshop door and crossed her legs in a way that accentuated their bare length. She glanced in the two's direction in time to see Franky's slack jaw. She looked at Nami.

"Perhaps the people of Hanks will know more about the tremor," she said. "Afterall, it seems as though the sea has calmed down again."

And she was right; for the hour it took to moor the ship and debark, the crew didn't experience a single tremor.

Hanks was a relatively normally looking tropical island on the exterior, with rolling jungles dotted in brightly colored clusters of flowers and fauna. Its beaches were a black dusty color, likely derived from the beast at its center. However, the grains were still fine and soft to the touch. From their landing point the crew could see a small row of what appeared to be bamboo huts clinging to an outcrop of rocks. If there were people on the island, they were currently silent and occluded from view. Robin could see one of the hut's doors lying at a strange angle, small vines climbing up their edges. Franky leaned in close to her, momentarily snagging her attention. She allowed herself to drift to the back of the group, with him close behind. Once they were at a comfortable distance he spoke.

"Why do I get the feeling those houses aren't exactly lived in," he muttered.

She agreed with him. There was something off about this island in general, like the fact that they hadn't seen any birds or other animals. However, Luffy and the others were quite strong, and she couldn't see any reason to alert them prematurely.

"It does seem at the very least someone has let them lapse into a state of disrepair," she confirmed. "But the bigger question is why they would be abandoned..."

There was an excited cry from Luffy, jarring Robin and Franky to readiness. They were instantly put at ease though when they heard similar exclamations of excitement from Nami and Chopper.

"Ah! So cool!" Chopper yelled, wiggling back and forth.

Franky and Robin peered over to see what all the commotion was about.

Speeding across the ground like a snake was a strange creature resembling a legless sheep. It zipped to a stop in front of the three young pirates, its dark beady eyes staring at Chopper. Its cute little mouth began to open, and the group went dead silent in anticipation.

"Bleh~"

"Heehhhhhh!??" Franky protested in disappointment. Robin covered her smile; it was entertaining to see the man so offended by something so inconsequential. The man's gray eyes glanced over to catch hers and Robin became acutely aware that her cheeks were warm. She quickly calmed her expression and turned ahead.

Franky's sentiment was mirrored by several of the crew's other members but did not stop Nami from immediately embracing the creature with a squeal. The legless sheep's head wiggled back and forth limply as Nami held its body against her chest. She buried her face in his soft white wool.

"Ahh, how are you so cute," she said, before looking at Usopp. "Doesn't she remind you of Merry?"

To be fair to Nami, there was a fair bit of resemblance between the sheep and their previous ship. Usopp held hand to his chin, seeming to consider. The dark, overly cheery eyes stared back, devoid of any thoughts. The young man let out a hum.

"Bleh~"

"No way! Merry was way cuter!" Usopp snapped, pointing at the beast in an almost accusatory manner. Luffy just laughed behind him.

Nami stuck her nose up, turning back to the sheep. She squished its body and face, causing the sheep's tongue to fall limply to the side out of its mouth.

"Well I think you're just as cute," She cooed. "And I bet somebody else would too... for a lot of Berris~!"

The crew's protest was unanimous. "Absolutely not!"

However, their outrage was cut short by another sudden violent tremor. Franky caught Robin by the waist as she was knocked from her feet. She pressed a hand against his chest, bracing herself until the shaking had passed. Once the tremor stopped the crew only had a moment to regain their composure, before the sound of a man's voice cut through the trees from somewhere deep in the jungle.

"WILSON!!!"

The was the distinctive crunch of twigs and leaves rapidly growing closer. Robin crossed her arms prepared for the group's first contact with whoever lived here. There was the distinctive click of Franky opening his arm cannon beside her. She glanced over at him; his eyes were calmly scanning the jungle's edge.

"WILSON!!!"

The voice was much closer this time. The strange creature's eyes lit up with seeming recognition and it began to wiggle furiously until it had loosened itself from Nami's grip. Once it made it to the ground it reared up its front half to let out a loud bleat.

"Ble-EH~!"

There was a loud crash next to them, before a man dressed in a floral print lab coat exploded from the tree line in a graceless tumble onto the beach below. From where he was sprawled, face first, on the ground, Robin could see that his poofy black hair was receding, giving him a sharp widow's peak in the middle of his face. He was a tall lean man, befitting what one might expect a scientist to look like.

The man looked up at the sheep thing which was slithering towards him. A smile of pure joy spread across his face, as he produced a short-range snail from his jacket, not even acknowledging the Strawhats' presence.

"Houston, we found him," he said, tears of pure joy streaming down his face. "We found Wilson!"

"Bleeh~"

Then finally the man looked up at the rest of them with a pleasantly surprised look on his face.

"Oh, hello," He stated as if they were simply random house guests. "Who might you be?"

Robin and Franky simultaneously let out a sigh of relief.

The man turned out to be a researcher on Hanks named Joe, who had been tasked with studying the island's strange plant and animal life. The strange sheep, Wilson, had apparently become the scientists' pet and mascot of sorts due to him "only biting a little bit." The huts, which Joe began guiding them to, were not abandoned, but instead were in disrepair because the researchers had, over time, gotten tired of fixing them all the time.

As they made their way up through the jungle, they began to notice more creatures hidden in the brush and wrapped around trees. All of them, like Wilson, resembled birds and beasts of all kinds, with the exception that they all had no legs. Even the beetles crunched along like little caterpillars on the jungle floor. It was a... peculiar sight.

According to Joe the tremors that they had experienced were not only common but an essential part of the island's morphology. He theorized that the lack of legs allowed the animals on the island to better survive the tremors and thus thrive in large numbers. Even the trees had adapted to deal with the tremors, which he demonstrated by grabbing a nearby palm tree and shaking it violently. The whole tree rocked and wriggled like a very long piece of semi-rigid gelatin in the man's hands. It was a... even more peculiar sight.

Once they reached the hut that served as Joe's main base, they were introduced to Joe's partner Houston. The man was also tall and dark haired but dressed in a traditional white lab coat unlike his partner. The two actually bore a striking enough resemblance to each other that one might make the assumption that they were brothers.

Houston studied them carefully, before offering Luffy a hand to shake.

"Welcome, over," The man stated, releasing their captain's hand. He lifted a finger to his lips. "You bare a strange likeness to our trees. Are you here to solve our problem, over?"

The rubber man stared blankly at the scientist, picking his nose, casually. "Nah we just got here."

Joe pushed past his partner as if suddenly remembering something. He smiled.

"That's right, Houston!" he said, before suddenly becoming more solemn. "You see, we have a problem. It would seem an invasive species has moved in and begun to make quite a mess of things."

Nami paused from her attempts to wrestle Luffy's hand out of his nose to look at Joe. "What do you mean?"

Joe sighed and gestured for them to sit on some cushions that were haphazardly strewn across the floor. Robin joined Franky on a seat in the back of the room. He placed an arm behind her in what she assumed was an attempt to remain discreet. The kids were bickering quietly as usual to figure out their ideal seating. Robin heard the distinct laugh of the skeleton man who had placed his all-seeing eyeless gaze directly behind them again.

Franky looked over his shoulder at him.

"Hey do you mind?" he whispered.

"Not at all," Brooked replied, totally unfazed. "Yohohoho..."

Joe cleared his throat at the front, recapturing everyone's focus.

"It all started a few months ago," He explained. "We were receiving our usual shipment of supplies, when we noticed a shipment of fruit was starting to go bad. We didn't want the spoiled food to go to waste, so we decided to use it as fertilizer. But we made a grave error. You see, in one of those apples was a worm, but it wasn't just any worm. It was a Lava Worm."

"A Lava Worm?"

"Yes!" Houston chimed in. "A worm that is resistant to any kind of heat and fortunately one of the only kinds that doesn't reproduce asexually, over."

"Or so we thought," Joe continued. "It didn't reproduce, but somehow it found its way to the island's great center, Mount Big Woo. And there it grew and grew completely undetected until..."

The island shook as if to add extra drama to the scientist's story.

"It grew large enough to threaten the volcano's stability. It's only a matter of time before the worm is so large it could potentially lead part of the volcano's crust to collapse. Which means-"

Robin's eyes grew wide in realization of what he meant. "This island and its unique ecosystem would be destroyed."

Joe, Houston, and Wilson were all now crying.

"That's right. It's-," Houston choked out. "Over."

"Blehee~!"

Of course, once the scientist also offered a berri reward for their help the whole crew was onboard to help. Not that it would have particularly would have mattered; it wasn't the strawhat way to abandoned people in distress. It probably didn't hurt that they had to stay on this island for a few days if they wanted to reset their log-pose.

So the strawhats set to preparing for their next big battle. Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji sat down to draw lots for who would be allowed to throw the first hit at the worm. Chopper went to his lab to replenish his stock of rumble balls, and Nami basically abducted Usopp with demands to update her weapon of choice.

Franky, however, seemed to be unsure of what weapon to use for this occasion, which normally would mean him choosing one of his many body modifications on the fly, but apparently the past week had proven too productive for the man's usual decisiveness. Robin could barely believe the sight herself. The back row of the man's workshop was filled with an alarming variety of cannons, harpoons, and guns. As she looked at the spread the man shut the workshop door behind them firmly.

"I know," He grumbled. "It's so hard to pick just one."

Robin glanced back at him. "How does one even begin to distinguish between all these weapons?"

Franky looked shocked at her answer, and, to Robin's annoyance, a little frustrated.

"What do you mean?" he shouted. "They're completely different!"

The woman inhaled deeply, steadying her breathing at his outburst. She knew he had not purposefully put her on edge, but his intensity unnerved her, nonetheless.

"Franky, tone," she gently reminded him.

Franky's eyes grew wide, and he immediately froze in place. With great care, he slowly lowered his arms and straightened up. His expression softened, clearly acknowledging his screw up. It was easy for him to forget sometimes with how quickly things had been moving between them that they were still feeling out each other's boundaries.

"Sorry," he said.

"You're forgiven." Robin's cold expression softened into a smile. She was always grateful for Franky's maturity in these moments. She motioned him to join her, which he happily obliged. She wrapped a set of arms around his waist. "Perhaps if you explained each of them to me more, I could better assist you in making a final decision."

Franky's absolute giddiness radiated from his toothy grin. He guided her over a fascinating looking harpoon gun.

"This one," He explained, proudly. "Is the one-of-a-kind super grappling laser."

Robin's brows knit. "Sounds dangerous."

"Ow! You bet it is," he continued, outlining the gun's barrel. "This can deploy a one-hundred-meter harpoon cable before discharging one cola fuel laser blast."

Robin after a moment of consideration, slowly shook her head, causing Franky to wilt a little bit.

"Although it is very impressive," she admitted. "This one does not seem to be the most practical option. It would be a great waste if it were to be melted by the lava."

Franky's hair seemed to perk up along with his own attitude. "Huh, didn't think of that..."

He once again wrapped his hand around her waist and one by one took her down the line explaining each different weapon to her. There were rocket launchers, Franky bazookas, crossbows, and even one slingshot that Robin was pretty sure had been misplaced. Every single one in her eyes had a different drawback. They weren't poorly designed, but whenever she would attempt to picture the man using one her imagination would just fizzle out.

After they had reviewed the line-up twice, it came time for Robin to give her answer. The man smiled devilishly as he leaned in expectantly.

"So which one should I pick?" He asked.

Robin brushed her hair behind her ear, as she walked down the line one last time. A smile slowly came over her face as she decided on her answer. With great decisiveness she strode over to where the cyborg awaited her. She fluttered her lashes in a way she knew would make his heart race. She took her place, chest-to-chest with him.

Franky released a chuckle, gently pulling her close.

"Well hello," he said. "What weapon did you choose?"

Robin fiddled with the man's shirt before jabbing a singular finger in his chest. She gave him a smug look. "This one."

Franky laughed at her coy answer. He then took her hand and rocked her into a dip, eliciting a laugh from the usually stoic woman.

"Good one, smart-ass," He growled, bringing his face close to hers. "What's your actual pick?"

Robin wiped a tear from her eye, as it still took her a moment to regain her composure. It was tacky to laugh at one's own jokes, but she just couldn't resist. She cleared her throat and turned away from him a disembodied arm sprouted from the wall to point at a large bazooka.

"I believe that one is the most suited for your skills and today's needs," She said, still wiping her eyes. "I would pick that one."

Franky gave her a kiss on the cheek, thanked her, and helped her to her feet. As if right out of a sitcom, the workshop door bust open revealing a frantic looking Usopp. The young man was sweaty and out of breath.

"We gotta go before Zoro and Luffy destroy the Island!" He exclaimed. "Did I leave my slingshot..."

Robin cleared her throat and brushed off her dress, while Franky popped the corners of his collar. Usopp's expression morphed from panic to confusion to disgust.

"What were you two even doing in here this whole time?"

"What do you think?" Franky challenged, as he quickly grabbed the bazooka and Usopp's slingshot. He hefted the bazooka onto his back before tossing the slingshot over to the annoyed young man. "I couldn't pick a gun."

"Whatever," Usopp, sighed. He loaded the slingshot and started running towards the Sunny's edge. "Now come on!"

The pair nodded, immediately taking off after the young man. It was just like their captain to jump the gun and drag his first mate into things with him. As they took off into the jungle the sound of Luffy yelling could be distinctly heard in the distance. Robin mentally berated herself for getting so distracted in Franky's presence. She was pretty sure from the grave look on his face that the cyborg was doing the same. Though, with his shades down it was hard to say for certain.

Eventually they managed to overtake Usopp, racing top-speed past dozens of wiggling creatures. As they reached the volcano's base, they were knocked off balance, by the strongest tremor they had witnessed yet. Looking to the volcano's caldera, Robin was able to spot Luffy near the top, his form wiggling with each shake. She would have been worried about him potentially being flung from the side of the mountain, had his feet not been stuck in the lava rock. She grounded her own stance as the tremor continued.

"Luffy!" She called out. "Where are Zoro and Sanji?"

She was concerned her voice might not carry over the ground's rumbles, but just a moment later she heard Luffy yelling back at her.

"Hey, Robin!!" he said, waving enthusiastically. "This worm is insane!! It's huge!"

Of course, he hadn't answered her question. The tremor came to an end, and Robin looked to Franky. He gave her a nod and cupped his hands around his mouth.

"Oi, Luffy!" he yelled. "We need to know where are Zoro and Sanji!"

"They're in the mountain with the worm!"

The man let out a frustrated groan. He likely was also frustrated but not surprised that those two had gone inside a volcano. Luffy suddenly pulled his legs from where they were trapped in the rock before hopping into the volcano. Robin gave Franky a knowing look.

"Would you like a lift?" she asked, crossing her hands. He nodded, rushing to her side. Several arms secured them together by the waist. She glanced back at him. "Would mind giving us a boost?"

"My pleasure," he replied, before his butt started to rapidly inflate. He aimed his posterior to ensure they would be as close to the caldera as possible. The woman readied herself. "Coup... de... Boo!"

With an explosive amount of energy, the couple was launched into the air. Now it was her turn. Two large wings composed primarily of hands burst from her back. The cyborg was relatively heavy, but the head start he had given then absolutely made up for any extra work she had to exert to keep them climbing. Then once they were above the mouth of the volcano, they looked down.

Below them she could see Luffy, Zoro and Sanji in heated battle with a Seaking sized white worm. The worm's mouth hole was lined with multiple rows of sharp pointy teeth, which it was attempting to use to eat the strawhat's "beast three." There was an almost immediate sound of disappointment from Franky as they drifted above the brawl. It was clear even from ten meters above that the fight was coming to its conclusion. One of her hands gave him a light pat on the head; he had been so excited about using his new weapon. Just a few moments later, with a tandem set of punches from the captain, they watched the giant lava worm meet its end.

Robin glided back to the mountain's base, carrying the dejected looking cyborg. Once they had landed amidst the dense jungle, she allowed her wings to dissipate into a flurry of flower petals.

"I'm sorry you did not get to use your Ultra Bazooka," she said as sympathetically as possible, though the words "ultra bazooka' coming out her mouth felt clunky and forced.

The man let out a slightly forced sounding laugh, before giving her a toothy grin.

"It's alright," he replied. "I can always test it out later. We've got plenty of time for target practice while the log-pose resets."

She covered her growing smile with one hand, tilting her head slightly to the side. "That is true."

He placed an arm lightly on her back, as they both turned to start making their way back to the ship. The disappointment really had just rolled right off him like water off a duck's back.

"Maybe I can even get an eyeful of your sexy legs while I'm at it," he mused, his smile turning lecherous.

"Perhaps... Or maybe I will be the one getting an eyeful of your sexy legs," Robin countered.

"Ow!" the cyborg exclaimed happily. He leaned in close pointing at himself. "Is that promised? There anything you're hoping to see me in? Should I pick an extra super outfit for tomorrow?"

"That could be interesting, though, I have yet to see an outfit that compares to the charm of you with nothing on..."

"Oi, you're going to make me blush!"

"Ufufufufu..."

Once the crew had regrouped and confirmed the elimination of the Giant Lava Worm, their remaining time on Hanks Island was filled with adventure, joy, and laughter. Aside from the occasional tremors, Hanks was quite a peaceful island. Chopper even managed to develop a remedy to help ease the side effects of the earthquakes by the second day's lunch.

Joe and Houston were quickly at Nami's behest, volunteering all of the topographical information they had gathered about the surrounding area. However, they still refused to give her Wilson. Luffy and Sanji had also made attempts to acquire Wilson, but once it was revealed that they were curious what the legless sheep tasted like those negotiations were also quickly shut down. Zoro spent most afternoons napping in his usual spot, while Brook played his violin. Franky stuck to his game plan of testing his new toys out and even had enlisted Usopp to serve as a second opinion of how well each one performed.

As for Robin, she had kept to her word as well, positioning her lawn chair at the perfect angle to watch Franky's tests. She always kept a book in hand, just in case anyone grew suspicious of the object of her attention. Slipping notes was unfortunately too risky, given the shipwright's constant presence on deck, but she couldn't argue with man's attempts to elevate his look or include some extra "fan-service" for her whenever Usopp's back was turned.

It was only three days. She could wait that long. However, once the log-pose reset they would be returning to their normal routines, and her chase could begin once more.