Isn't it funny how time passes by so fast and before you know it, it's all over. My life isn't over, but sometimes it feels like it is. See my name is Tammy Duncan, sure, famous figure skater and former pee-wee hockey star with the Minnesota Miracle Mighty Ducks. That last one wasn't by choice might I add. I was forced to play hockey by my little brother, Tommy. He always had a way of making me do things that I didn't want to do and then I'd have to admit it was a good idea after all. Pee-wee hockey was no except. Although I still see the game to be an excuse for guys to hit each other, I have a new respect for the game. I can still remember that first day with the Ducks...
Flashback
Whenever I stepped out onto the ice I felt like I was home. No where else could I just let go of all the crap going on in my life, my Mother's constant pushing for me to do better in school and to still have time to practice more for my upcoming competition, her constant nagging about who I made friends with, and her persistent nagging of how to live my life. Did I add that she also made me take my little brother on as a partner. I didn't need a partner, that was my first instinct, but you can't enter a pairs competition without one, so I agreed half-heartedly to skate with him. Tommy was so annoying at age 12 that I just wanted to smother his little face with a pillow while he slept. God, I hated that boy. Tommy, even though my sworn enemy, was my rock. He was always there when no one else would be and we stuck together against our Mother pretty well. Which brings me back to what I was getting at.
That Day had been unusual in the fact that Tommy and I hadn't fought yet and we were actually getting along for once in the entire 12 years of his existence. It could have been that our coach, our Mother, wasn't there with us that day and told us to just skate around for a practice. Any time on the ice was time to improve, she used to tell us. I glided along the side of the ice, slowly humming a tune in my head when I saw the pee-wee hockey team enter the rink. It would be time to leave soon, I acknowledged in my head. I sighed; silently hoping to gett in one more spin in before stopping to find my brother. He had just been skating around me when I went into the spin and now he was gone. I swear he did this to me on purpose to make my day just a little bit more interesting. I glanced to my right and found him chatting with the coach of the said team and smiling widely, ushering for me to come over to them. I groaned inwardly, feeling the ice float beneath my blades, if he got us into one more thing, I was going to kill him with my bare hands.
"Tammy, Coach Bombay here said they're looking for new players for their team. You want to give it a try?" He asked, looking up at me with a smile forming on his chubby pink cheeks. I rolled my eyes a little at him before shaking my head no.
"Well, we should be getting home..." I tried to not be rude but at the same time say no.
"Come on, Tammy. We've been skating all week and I wanna try hockey.." He whined, I glanced at the coach, who was amused by his behavior and gave a slight annoyed look. An adult with the same mentality of my brother, how very annoying.
"Tommy, we really don't have time..." I reminded him of Mom's strict schedule for practices and school work.
"Oh, practice only takes about an hour...You guys will be home before dinner..." The coach said, still smiling a wide grin. I looked at Tommy and back at him feeling a little outnumbered in my current situation,
"Well, we don't own any hockey gear..." I started thinking I'd finally made a valid point to get me out of this awkward encounter. The coach pulled a bag he'd been carrying from his side with a thumb on the old wooden bench,
"Well, let's see, I've got some extra stuff here..." He started digging through it, looking for something. I stared at Tommy with hatred. He smiled widely, the death glare I was giving him unfazed him.
"You're dead when we get home..." I muttered more to myself than him and skated over to pick out some gear from the coach.
END Flashback
So, here I am today, regretting that comment, I made to my baby brother so many years ago. I always thought he'd out live me but I guess I was wrong. My vision silently moved down to the black dress that hugged my curved waist and accented my assets as I stepped out of my light blue mustang and heading into the familiar rink we always practiced at when we were younger, before everything happened. Taking a deep breathe I headed inside. The ice felt cool to my skin, as I entered the building and immediately all the memories I'd been running from for 6 years came flooding back to me in an instant. How could I forget, you ask...I choose to forget, It made it easier to go on and not look back at everything I was missing but in typical Tommy fashion, even now, he made me do something I didn't want to. I slowly made my way to the benches, overlooking the ice and watched the local pee-wee team warming up for practice. I smiled a little to myself as a tear rolled down my cheek and I glanced at the floor, where a discarded newspaper lay. It was opened to the announcements section and a picture of my little brother stood out to me.
"Local Mighty Ducks Alumi killed in Drunk Driving Crash..." My eyes swept over the words that still hadn't sunk in completely. Everything was happening so fast that my mind couldn't process it. I'd watched them lower him into the ground that morning and I didn't want to believe it was actually happening. Tommy was gone, he was never coming back and I'd been gone for 6 years only seeing him maybe twice a year on holidays...How could I miss my brother's precious life? How could I not be here when he died? Yeah, I was thinking about myself again and competing in the Olympics. It had started out not being my choice to stay away but when I turned 18 I could have came back and told my parents I didn't want the life they were forcing on me but I didn't. I stayed and I won gold in the biggest event in the world. Calling home to tell my parents that night is when they hit me the news... It had been late the night before that he was hit. The doctors weren't sure when he was brought in but as the night progressed, Tommy's life slipped away, without anyone ever calling me to come home. I should have been mad at my parents, I should have asked why they robbed me of saying goodbye to my only Brother but then they were in as much shock as I would have been. I was halfway around the world in Italy. I wasn't expecting it when I called home and my world collapsed around me once my Mother uttered those words. If it hadn't been for my partner, Scott, I think I would have had a mental breakdown right there in front of all my fans. He picked me up, literally and carried me out of there to put me on a plane back here, taking all the media attacks and interviews we were supposed to do the next week. He's the best man I've ever met, being 5 years my senior but I knew I loved him the first moment I skated with him and now I'm supposed to be his wife in 6 weeks. I stared down at the diamond on my left hand and began to cry, how could this all be happening? This was supposed to be the best time in my life, my wedding and the Olympics all in a short amount of time but instead, I sat watching my brother being buried.
Staring down at the pee-wee hockey team, I smiled to myself. Most of the Ducks were there that morning to show they're respect to my brother, all but one and I knew why he hadn't come. I'd ripped his heart out 6 years earlier and never given it back. He knew what I was competing for and how much it meant to me but still begged me to stay... with him, with the ducks, in Minnesota, anything I was willing to give him. I didn't, I couldn't and he didn't understand. He would never forgive me, but I didn't have a choice. In case you don't know who I'm talking about, I'm talking about Fulton Reed...the first boy I ever kissed...I first boy I ever loved.
Staring down at the new pee-wee hockey team the memories started to come back...
