"Because I Love Him"
by Olivia Sutton
"Snapshots" Universe
Part 4 of 6
A few days later, Marty swung the door shut to his solicitor's office behind himself, "Hey, Bill. Thanks for seeing me on such short notice." Marty went to Bill's desk and grasped Bill's hand, shaking it.
"Not a problem, Marty. Where's Jeff? You two are never apart." Bill returned the handshake, then indicated the chair in front of his desk.
Marty sat, put his briefcase on the floor next to the chair, then took a breath and answered, "He's in hospital at the moment, Bill."
"Hospital? What happened? He's all right, isn't he?"
"Yah, he'll be fine. Fortunately. I found him before... I mean, he will be fine. But... Jeff and I..."
"God, you're not splitting up are you?"
"NO! No, we're not splitting up."
"Good - I don't think I've ever seen a couple so much in love. And that includes the married ones."
Marty nodded, "It's... we've had two very close calls. Well, JEFF has had two very close calls. We've talked about it, and... Bill, I want to make arrangements. In case something happens to me, or Jeff, or... or both of us, I need to make sure that his mum's all right and I don't want her to have to worry about... about any of the details."
Bill nodded, "I remember what happened, Marty. Did they ever catch the blokes that did that to Jeff?"
"No. I mean, Jeff identified them, well, one of them by name even, but he did a runner. And the police aren't pursuing it."
"They aren't? Why not?"
Marty looked at Bill, his expression angry, "Bill, come on, you know why not. Everyone pretends to be understanding, but they whisper behind our backs." Marty took a deep breath, then said, "But that's not why I'm here. I... I need to make some changes to my will, and Jeff needs to have a will, and... I've heard you can pre-plan a funeral. I want to do that. So Mrs. Randall won't have to. Plus there's insurance, our house, our business... Bill, there's a lot to sort out."
Bill nodded, "All right. But... Marty, I'm sorry. I am. But Jeff will need to...you can't do everything for him."
"Can I... can I tell you what he wants, and then have him sign the papers? Bill, I'm here because Jeff... he doesn't want to be here, you know what I mean? He can't. Jeff's always been touchy on the subject. I told him I'd take care of everything, make the decisions, the arrangements, and... Bill, please tell me I didn't lie to him by saying I can do this... do everything."
Bill nodded, "Marty... if it was anyone else I'd say no. But I've known you two since Jeff and I were in uni. And Jeff's the only person I've ever known who's completed a law course and not written his own will. I know the topic bothers him, though I don't know why."
Marty nodded, "Bill, Jeff lost his father when he was only two. He doesn't even remember his own father."
Bill nodded, "I know. I remember him... mentioning it a few times."
"He's always felt very uncomfortable about the subject. Death, wills, funerals... it's extremely difficult for him. Almost a... phobia. He knows it's completely unreasonable, but..."
Bill nodded again. "That is unusual, Marty, but not unheard of. I've ended-up probating the property of more than one person like that."
Marty nodded, "It... shocked me, when he brought up the subject, but..." Marty leaned forward, touched Bill's arm, then said, "You're a friend, Bill, to us both, so..." Marty took a deep breath, then said, "We were both shaken by what happened to Jeff. By his attack. And then, he..." Marty stopped, "After the second close call, he started talking about having a will, making arrangements, having things settled. But his... phobia... he wanted me to handle the fine details. And I'm willing to do that. It doesn't bother me, not like it bothers Jeff."
Bill nodded, "I think I understand."
Marty let go of Bill's arm, then reached for his briefcase, "So, you'll make this easier for him?"
Bill looked at Marty and sighed, "Okay, all right, because it's you, you and Jeff... I'll draw up the papers, I'll go through everything with you. And then I'll write drafts for him to sign." Bill got up from his desk and touched Marty's shoulder, "Is that all right?"
Marty nodded. "Thank you."
Bill sat down, "Now, what changes do you want to make?"
Marty took a deep breath, and looked up at Bill, "As you know, right now my will states that if... if something were to happen to me, Jeff gets everything - my half of the business, the house, the investments..."
Bill nodded, "I remember, Marty. I wrote it up for you."
Marty closed his eyes, opened them, then said, "I want to add Mrs. Anna Randall to the will. If something happens to me, everything goes to Jeff. But if something happens to Jeff... I want everything to go to her, Bill. Everything. The house, the business, all the investments, everything that I have, everything Jeff and I have..."
Bill looked up at Marty, "Marty, are you all right?"
"I'm fine," Marty answered.
Bill looked over at Marty, his hands on the desk, "Marty, what you're describing is a basic secondary beneficiary clause. It's not even unusual, but... Marty, are you and Jeff in some sort of trouble? Is someone threatening you, or the business?"
Marty looked at Bill, got up out of the chair, then began to pace, then he returned to the chair in front of the desk and sat down. "No." Marty caught Bill's eye, then said, "Well, we've had a bit of trouble..."
Bill nodded, "If you are receiving threats, you should call the police, Marty."
Marty put his hands on Bill's desk, "No. It's not like that. And the coppers haven't been much help so far, finding the bastards that hurt my Jeff. But... his attack, made us realise a few things, Bill. It did. God, he almost died."
"I know, I remember. I came and got you at the hospital, brought you home, you stayed with Gina and I for... I don't remember how long, but a few days, at least. Marty, I'd never seen you like that before."
Marty looked at Bill, "You did? Oh, that's right, you did. Did I thank you?"
"Yes. Now Marty..."
Marty looked at Bill, "Please. I would feel a lot more comfortable if I knew that everything was in order. That if... IF something were to happen to me, or Jeff, or even both of us, his mum will be all right. That we've taken care of her. She raised me, Bill. And I do care for her. I even call her Mrs. Randall-mum, she means more to me than my own, useless, mother. I don't have any other family, and it's not like Jeff and I will have children. PLEASE, just make the changes. Add the, 'secondary beneficiary', clause that you mentioned."
Bill looked up at Marty. "I can do that. I will. It's... I consider you a friend, Marty. If you need something. If you're in trouble. I want to help. I do."
Marty looked away, not meeting Bill's eyes, then murmured, "There's nothing you can do."
Bill nodded, "All right. But think about it. I want to help. I consider you and Jeff to be my friends."
Marty looked at Bill, "I... I wish I could tell you. I do. But you're an officer of the court, Bill."
Bill's head snapped up, "You're not planning something dodgy or illegal, are you? Marty, if you're planning on tracking down the bastards that... that attacked Jeff, don't! Just don't! It's not worth it, Marty."
Marty shook his head, "That's the farthest thing from my mind right now."
Bill closed his eyes, then opened them and looked at Marty. "All right, all right. What about Jeff's will?"
Marty took a deep breath, then said, "He wants to leave everything to me, but if something happens to me, it all goes to his mum."
Bill raised an eyebrow. "Jeff will have to sign it. Marty, you can't name yourself as beneficiary, in someone else's will." Bill raised a hand at Marty's protests, stopping him before he got started, "NOW, I know you two. I suspected that was what Jeff told you he wanted before you even spoke. I'll write it up as if he had told me himself, because I do know him. And you. But, it won't be official until he signs it. And, I should speak to him, preferably in person, but by phone if that's easier for Jeff."
Marty nodded. "But you will write both wills?"
Bill nodded, "Yes. And I have several pamphlets on funeral planning. You may take them home, talk to Jeff, make your decisions and bring everything back when you come in to sign the drafts."
Marty nodded. "Do you need anything else? Papers for the business, the house, our investments?"
Bill nodded, "Bring in copies of everything... the deeds, ownership papers, insurance and investment information. Everything for both of you. I'll write the specifics into the wills, and make copies to have on file. IF something happens, it will make everything easier on Mrs. Randall, it will be all laid out for her. BUT Marty,"
Marty paused in his action of fiddling with his briefcase.
"Marty, I don't want something to happen. Are you sure, absolutely sure, there is nothing I can do? I would like to help, if I can."
Marty smiled a sad smile, opened the briefcase, and took out a stack of papers. "Bill, I appreciate the offer. I do. But there's nothing you can do." He handed the papers to Bill, "These are copies. You can keep them." Marty sighed, "It's only a precaution, Bill. Honestly, it's... what happened to Jeff a couple of months ago, scared us both. Suddenly, both of us, seemed, vulnerable. We've had scrapes before, but..." Marty stood, reached for Bill's hand, and grasped it, "Bill, please, just take care of it, for me."
Bill grasped Marty's hand, "I will. The papers should be ready by Wednesday."
Marty nodded, shook Bill's hand, then spun on his heel and rushed out of the office. Bill looked at him as he left, shuddered, then began to sort through the papers on the desk.
Wednesday afternoon
Marty and Jeff entered Bill Smith's office, Jeff's expression was wan and slightly frightened, Marty's resolute and a bit grim.
Bill stood up and walked towards Jeff, holding out his hand, "Jeff, good to see you. I'll make this as painless as possible, there really isn't much to it."
Jeff nodded, then walked over to the chairs in front of the desk.
Bill returned to his chair and sat, then noticed Jeff and Marty still standing near the chairs, "Go ahead and sit down, make yourselves comfortable," he looked at their expressions, "And try to relax, Jeff, there really is nothing to it. You should understand the need for a will."
Jeff nodded, and took his seat, then he extended his hand to Marty. Marty grasped it, giving Jeff moral support. Jeff smiled, tightly.
"Now, Marty's already explained to me that you want everything to go to him, but if something were to happen to him, everything will go to your mum, Mrs. Anna Randall. I've drawn up the draft, if you would like to review it," he handed a stack of papers to Jeff. Then he turned to Marty, "And your provisional draft is ready Marty. Read it through, let me know if I've missed anything, or if there's anything you are unsure of, then go ahead and sign it." Bill got up from his desk, went to a filing cabinet and pulled out some papers, then handed them to Marty.
Marty took the papers, read through them carefully, then handed them back, "It's fine."
Bill nodded, "Sign the bottom, Marty. Your full name, mind. Did you and Jeff have time to review the funeral planning brochures I gave you?"
Marty took the papers, found the last page, and signed, and handed them back, then said, "Yes. I've... WE'VE made all the decisions. It's in my briefcase."
Bill nodded, taking the signed, draft will, from Marty, then said, "My secretary will type this, and you can sign the final version, tomorrow."
Jeff had finished reading through the draft will, "It...it looks fine, Bill. Thank you."
Bill nodded, "Sign the bottom, Jeff, your full name, mind."
Jeff nodded, flipped to the final page, signed, and handed it back to Bill.
Marty pulled some papers from his briefcase, then handed them to Bill.
Bill looked them over, then said to Jeff, "Jeff, you also need to sign this."
Jeff looked up at Bill in surprise, took the papers and looked through it. He gasped, and his hand began to shake.
Marty looked at Jeff, then put a hand on his shoulder, "Jeff, we talked about it. It really is best this way; if something happens to... to you, or to us, or to me..." Marty let that hang for a second, then said, "It will be easiest on your mum if everything is planned."
Jeff nodded, took the paper, and signed, quickly handing it back to Bill. "I know, Marty, I know, but..."
Marty nodded, and put a reassuring hand on Jeff's arm, "Bill, is that all for Jeff?"
Bill nodded, checking that they had both signed everything, "That's all, unless there's something else I can do for you?"
Marty nodded briefly, then turned to Jeff, "Jeff, go ahead and wait outside. I want to speak to Bill about something, then I'll be right out, okay?"
Jeff nodded, beating a hasty retreat towards the door. As he did, Bill called out to him. "Jeff, once my secretary has typed the final version, you'll need to sign that as well. It will be ready, tomorrow, Jeff. But Marty can bring it to me, once it's signed, all right?"
Jeff turned on his heel, nodded at Bill, then opened the door to the outer office and left.
Bill looked at Marty, "Is there something else?"
Marty nodded, running a hand over his face, "Bill, you've asked if you can help, and..." Marty stood up and began pacing in front of Bill's desk, "Did you mean it? Could you, will you help us?"
Bill looked up at Marty, "Yes. If there is anything I can do. Marty, Jeff really did look awful, and you're more tense than, well, more tense than is even normal for you. What is it? What's happened?"
Marty nodded, then sat down, looking at him, and said, "Well, there is one thing. Jeff and I... we have been having a little trouble. And I haven't been looking for trouble, Bill, I haven't. But..."
Bill looked at Marty, "Call the police."
Marty shook his head, "I can't. Look, Bill, what I need..." Marty took a deep breath, "I don't quite know how to ask this, but... I need weapons, Bill. Protection. Jeff and I have never used them, but... I want to be able to look after Jeff. I want to have something so there won't BE a third close call."
Bill whistled, "Marty..."
"Don't ask me to explain. Just trust me. Can you get a pair of hand guns for us?"
"Two of them?" Bill asked, quietly.
Marty nodded, "That would be best, I don't want..." he sighed, "Jeff needs to have one as well. He needs one, Bill. He does. More so than me."
Bill nodded, his eyes meeting Marty's, "I shouldn't but... yes, I can."
Marty nodded, "By tomorrow, when I come by for the finalised wills?"
Bill nodded again, "Yes."
"Thank you, I mean it, Bill, thank you."
Bill nodded, "Can't you tell me what this is all about?"
Marty shook his head, "No, I can't. I am sorry."
"Okay, then, Marty."
Marty nodded, reached forward and grabbed Bill's arm, "You don't know what this means-- to us both, Jeff and I." Marty let go, then added, "Bill, thank you."
Bill nodded, "The final drafts will be ready tomorrow. If you both come in, you can sign them right here, and everything will be finalised. And I'll have... what you've asked for, ready for you."
Marty stood, and reached out. Bill stood as well and the two shook hands. Marty smiled a sad, introspective smile, then said, "Thanks, Bill. I'll see you tomorrow, yah?"
Bill nodded, "Yah. Goodbye, Marty."
"Goodbye, Bill." Marty waved, then walked out the door.
Marty returned for the third time to Bill Smith's office, smiling as he saw his friend and solicitor. Then he offered his hand to Bill. He walked from behind the desk to Marty, shook his hand, then looked about, "So where is Jeff?"
"I couldn't talk him into coming again, Bill." Marty said, quietly.
Bill nodded, "All right, well I saw him sign the draft, if I give you the final version and he signs it, it should be all right." He returned to his chair behind the desk and sat down.
Marty went to the chair before Bill's desk and removed an envelope from his suit coat pocket and placed them on the desk before himself. "Is everything ready?" he asked, quietly.
Bill nodded, taking some papers from a file on his desk, which he handed over to Marty, "Your final will, Marty."
Marty nodded, checked over the papers, and signed them, then handed them back.
Bill nodded as he took back Marty's will, "That's it for you." He sorted through a few papers on the desk, then handed Marty an envelope, "Here is Jeff's final draft. Have him sign it, and bring it back."
Marty nodded, "Did you get the... the other thing I asked you?"
Bill nodded, "Marty, I... I need to ask you... why do you want them? If you're planning something, if you are going to try to get even with someone because of Jeff's attack? Marty, don't, all right? Please, as a friend, I'm asking you, don't do it."
Marty shook his head, "That's not it, but..." Marty looked off to the side, "I'd rather not explain. It's not like you think, Bill, it's not. I swear, I'm not planning on 'going after' anyone. I swear it. Now, did you get them?"
Bill rose from his desk, opened his safe, and took out a box. He put the box on his desk, then turned and walked back to the safe to shut it.
Marty looked at the box, shivered slightly, then picked-up the envelope before himself and said, "Can you take care of this for me? It's for Mrs. Randall. If something happens to me, would you see that she gets it?" He joined Bill by the safe, handing him the envelope.
Bill took it, looked at it. It was a sealed, thick white envelope, with 'Mrs. Anna Randall' written on the front in bold, cursive strokes. Bill recognised it as Marty's handwriting. He took the envelope, and put it in the safe, "Sure, Marty. That's not a problem. What is it?"
Marty shook his head, "It's private. It's for Mrs. Randall, and..." Marty grabbed Bill's arm, "Don't tell Jeff. Please, don't let him know I gave you that. And don't open it or read it, Bill. Please." Marty looked into Bill's eyes, pleading with him. "If our friendship means anything to you. Don't read what's in that envelope; just give it to mum, I mean, Mrs. Randall, if something does happen to me."
Bill looked at Marty, searching his eyes, and nodded. "All right, Marty, all right."
Marty returned to the desk, and opened the box that sat there. Inside were two semi-automatic hand guns and a box of ammunition, Marty nodded grimly, then closed the box. "Thank you, Bill. You don't know what this means."
Bill approached Marty, and grabbed his upper arm. "Marty, don't do anything... stupid, all right? I wish you would tell me what is going on. I wish you'd trust me. Maybe I can help."
Marty shook his head. "I'm sorry. I am... it's... I promised Jeff, and..." Marty trailed off, then said, "Bill, you are a friend, a good friend. And I want you to know - I appreciate everything you've done. Everything you've done for me, and for Jeff."
Bill nodded, searching Marty's eyes. "Are you absolutely sure you can't tell me what all this is about?"
Marty shook his head, picked up the box, and turned on his heel, heading for the door. Before reaching the door, he turned back and said, "Thanks, again, Bill. Thanks for everything." Then he opened the door, and walked out.
Bill shut his safe door, returned to his desk, and sat down, shaking his head, as he stared at the door Marty had exited through.
The next day
Marty sat in the car with Jeff, in the car park, outside Bill's office building. He looked at Jeff seriously, then said, "I've made the arrangements, Jeff. And I've settled our affairs. Discretely, of course."
Jeff nodded, then said, softly, "You have my final will, Marty?"
Marty nodded, took an envelope from his pocket, and quietly handed it to Jeff.
Jeff took the envelope, hastily skimmed through it, then signed it. "Take it to Bill. I'll wait here."
Marty looked at Jeff, then said, "Come with me."
Jeff looked at Marty, "Marty, we've made an agreement. I'm not... I won't break that. I'll be all right on me own."
Marty nodded, then extended his hand to Jeff, grasping Jeff's hand, "I know, I know, but... Jeff, please, come with me. We only need to drop it off. Bill might not even be there, we can give it to his secretary. But I don't want to do this alone, Jeff. I don't."
Jeff nodded, then opened the car door.
The two left the car, carefully crossed the street, and entered the tall stone and glass building that held their solicitor's office. Both men were quiet and reflective in the lift on the way up to the office. They left the lift, walked to the office and entered.
Marty smiled softly at the secretary at the desk outside Bill's office, "Hello, we're here to drop off some papers."
The secretary nodded, "I've been expecting you, Mr. Hopkirk. Bill is in court, but he told me you were coming." She nodded at Mr. Randall, "And you are Mr. Randall?"
Jeff nodded, then walked to the desk, handing her the envelope.
The secretary opened it, checked through the papers, then verified the will was signed. "Well, that's it. Everything is in order. Have a nice day."
Jeff looked at her, nodded, then said, "Goodbye," and turned around heading for the lift.
"Thanks," Marty said to the secretary, then he followed Jeff to the lift.
They exited the building, walked to the car, and Jeff got in. Once they were both in the car, Jeff turned to Marty, and said, "Did you get them? Everything is taken care of now, Marty, did you do what I asked?"
"Yes, Jeff. I did. I've got them. They're in the boot."
"They're in the boot? Two of them? Bullets? Everything is arranged?" Jeff asked.
Marty looked at Jeff, seriously, and answered, "Now that you've signed the papers, yes, everything is arranged, Jeff. Everything."
"All right, then, take me home."
Marty nodded, "Jeff - you still want to...? Are you sure? Jeff, once we are home... You haven't changed your mind, have you?"
"I haven't changed me mind, Marty. Tonight, if it's the same, then..." Jeff smiled a tight dark smile, "Marty, I thought you agreed with me about this?"
Marty took a deep breath, "Jeff, I do agree, I do, but... God, Jeff, it really hasn't been that long a time, not really."
Jeff turned to Marty, and put his hand on Marty's shoulder, Marty, I know things aren't going to change, all right?
If you give it more time, maybe they will, Jeff.
Marty - listen to me, please? I'm going to do it regardless. With or without you, I can't live with this pain, Marty. I don't know how you managed it for god, what is it now, eighteen years?
Yeah.
But I don't have the strength, Marty. The worse part is not being able to be with you, that those bastards took that away from me, from us.
It doesn't matter, Jeff. Marty took Jeff's shoulders in his hands, then stared in his eyes, "Jeff, it doesn't matter. I LOVE YOU. Right now that means I'm willing to NOT be intimate with you. NOT if it hurts you. God, Jeff. If anyone could understand, it's me."
Jeff began to cry, "Marty, you've been so patient with me."
"Always, Jeff," Marty touched Jeff's face, "Always."
Every time I close me eyes, though, Marty-- they are there, every time. When we've... tried, it's them, not you. It feels like it's them - every time we've tried having sex. Jeff grabbed Marty's shoulders, "Marty, I can't handle wanting to be with you and then... not being with you. Do you understand me?"
"I understand, Jeff."
"We change into the tuxes, and then... end it, Marty, both of us. If you agree?"
Marty laid his hand on Jeff's shoulder. I agree. Do you want to... Jeff, will you make love to me? One last time?
Yes. And you will make love to me. One last time. And if it's still... painful. If I still feel like... like it's them. Then, I'm going to do it, Marty.
WE do it, Jeff. Absolutely. WE do it. Together, BOTH of us, Jeff.
BOTH of us, Marty.
Marty led the way into the house, with Jeff following. He shut and locked the door behind Jeff.
"Jeff, do you want anything? Wine? Beer?"
Jeff nodded, "Yah, I think I do. Wine, Marty."
Marty nodded, then he began to cry. Jeff went to him then, and held him tight. "Marty, I..."
"No, Jeff, it's all right. It IS all right. I just... I know this will be our last time together, and..."
Jeff held Marty tight, then kissed his cheek, "It's going to be all right, Marty."
"Jeff... do you want me to put something IN the wine? Sedatives, or... I have... Jeff, I have poison - if you want it."
Jeff shook his head, "Just wine, Marty. That's all."
Marty nodded, "All right. Just wine. I'll bring it up - red or white?"
"Red."
Marty nodded. "I'll be upstairs in a bit."
"I'll be ready, Marty. I love you."
"I love you, Jeff."
A few minutes later, Marty walked into the bedroom, carrying two glasses of red wine. Jeff lay naked in the bed. Marty walked over and put the wine glasses on the bedside table, then slowly undressed, before lying in the bed next to Jeff. Jeff took the wine glass and sipped it. "Thank you, Marty."
Marty looked at Jeff, knowing Jeff was thanking him for more than the wine. "Jeff... I..."
Jeff put the wine down, "No, shush... no more talking. Doing. I want you to... Oral sex, Marty - we start with that. Take me!"
Marty nodded, then went down on Jeff. He took Jeff's penis in his mouth and licked and sucked, tears in his own eyes. Jeff's member lay flaccid in his mouth, and he continued, trying to make Jeff hard. Then he felt Jeff's mouth on his own penis and he gasped in pleasure.
Oh, Jeff... yes! God, you are so good!
Marty, try for me, will you? Please. I want to... make me hard, then make me come, Marty. Please. I'm begging you.
You don't need to beg, not ever.
They continued, Jeff with Marty in his mouth and Marty with Jeff. Jeff did get hard as Marty did, and gasped with enjoyment. Then Marty came. Seconds later, Jeff came.
Jeff spat then said, "That was good, Marty - it really was!"
Marty nodded. "It was good for me too, Jeff. Really good. Does this mean...?"
Not if I can't enjoy anal sex, as well, Marty. That's been the stumbling block. If I can - then we don't need the guns. But if I can't... I have made my decision, Marty. And you can't change it.
I won't. I swear. The arrangements are made. Jeff, I can't live without you.
Right. Turn over, I'll make love to you first.
Marty moved on the bed, and grasped Jeff's penis. He stroked him with his hand, until Jeff was hard. "Make love to me, Jeff."
Jeff nodded. He oiled Marty's arse and himself, then entered him. Jeff made love to Marty, urgently. Then he changed to soft, gentle, loving strokes. Jeff cried as he made love and Marty cried to be made love to. Finally, Jeff came and slid out of his partner.
"Well?" asked Marty.
"It's... mechanical, Marty. I can do it, but I don't feel anything. Marty - make love to me, that is the real test."
Marty went to Jeff in the bed and kissed him, then gently touched his face, stroking the side of his face with his hand. I love you, Jeff. I don't want to hurt you. I'd die first. And I mean that.
I want you to, Marty. I need to know.
All right.
Marty rubbed himself until he was hard, then oiled Jeff's arse. He gave Jeff a back massage, then oiled Jeff again and himself, emptying the small vial of scented oil, I'm starting now, Jeff, Marty slipped into his mate and started soft, gentle, slow strokes.
Jeff gasped and moaned beneath Marty.
Do you want me to stop? Jeff - tell me to stop.
Go on Marty, please.
Marty continued, flooding his partner with feelings of love.
Suddenly Jeff yelled, "Stop! Please stop! Don't do this!"
Marty pulled out, "Jeff?"
"Oh god, Marty," Jeff began to cry.
"What is it? What happened?"
"I... it felt like... I..."
"You thought I was them, didn't you?"
Jeff nodded.
"You can't enjoy sex from me?"
"No. I can't. God, Marty - kill me. Please. End this torture."
"Together, Jeff. We do it together." Marty reached out and grasped Jeff's hand.
Together. Shower first, then change?
Yah, Jeff. Shower first, then change. Jeff, can we shower together? Because I... I don't want to leave you.
Yah, we can do that. Marty I'm so sorry. But I...
I know, Jeff. I love you.
I love you. Let's get in the shower.
Jeff slid off the bed and walked to the bathroom. Marty followed him, the empty vial in his hand. He calmly dropped it in the rubbish bin.
"You cleaned in here?" asked Jeff.
"Yah, of course. You were taken into hospital over a week ago, Don't you remember?"
"Actually, no, Marty. All of that is very, very fuzzy. It... doesn't seem that long, since I..."
Marty went to Jeff, and kissed his shoulder, "I cleaned it up, Jeff, your... your blood. Do you have any idea what it did to me, though?"
Jeff shook his head, "Not really. But I am sorry I put you through that. I am. I should have said something, instead. Told you what I was feeling."
"It's okay, Jeff. It is... well, I mean, it wasn't okay that you slit your wrists. But it's okay that..."
"That this is the last time we will share a shower? Or anything else?"
"Yah, Jeff. That is exactly what I was thinking. Because I can't live without you, Jeff."
Jeff nodded, then smiled grimly. Jeff turned on the water and tested the temperature, then the two got into the shower. Marty took their shower gel, spread it on a bath sponge, and began washing Jeff. Jeff stood in the shower and let Marty wash him, then rinsed off. Then Jeff held out his hand, and Marty handed him the sponge. Jeff added more gel, then washed Marty. His hands lingered on Marty's body, and Marty cried quietly, glad the shower meant Jeff couldn't see his tears, as the water rinsed away the lather.
"Shampoo?" asked Jeff.
Marty shook his head. "If you are ready, let's get out of here."
Jeff nodded. "I'm ready."
Marty understood all that Jeff meant by that, and turned off the water, then the two stepped out of the shower and dried off with warm, fuzzy towels.
Both returned to the bedroom, Marty walked over to their double closet. "What do you think?"
"The tuxes - from our ceremony. If that's all right with you."
Marty nodded. "Tuxes it is, then."
Then changed into the black formal tuxedos. Jeff helped Marty with his bowtie, and Marty helped Jeff. Finally they were ready and left the house. Marty led the way to the car, then opened the boot.
Jeff saw the box in the boot. "Is that them?" he asked.
"Two semi-automatics, Jeff."
"Semi-automatics?"
"Actually, they were easier to get than revolvers. Those are getting collectible."
Jeff nodded. "Thank you. Thank you for arranging this, Marty."
Marty nodded, slamming shut the boot. "Are you absolutely sure, Jeff? You can't change this decision. Once we pull the triggers, that is IT, Jeff, " Marty looked deep into his partner's soft brown eyes.
"I know that, Marty," Jeff said very quietly, then he added, "Do YOU have doubts, Marty? Second thoughts?"
"No. If you want to do this. So do I."
"Okay, then," Jeff nodded, sharply, once.
Marty returned the gesture, "Okay then. I'll drive."
Marty walked to the passenger side of the car, and held open the door. He helped Jeff into the car, shut the door, then walked to the drivers side and got in. "Where are we going?"
"Marty, do you remember? That gazebo in the riverside park, we... we were together there on our anniversary, last year? It's secluded, quiet, restful. No one will disturb us."
Marty nodded, "I remember, Jeff," then put the key in the ignition, put the car in gear, and drove the car off to the park.
TO BE CONTINUED
