Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
CHAPTER FIVE
"Please tell me you didn't get any dragons."
Harry smirked. "It's your lucky day, Malfoy. I didn't get any dragons."
Draco frowned. "Please don't smirk. That really doesn't bode well for the children's safety."
"Relax," Harry admonished his occasional friend. "If there's an outcry for dragons, I can turn into one and start giving rides."
"Careful, Harry," Remus said with a smile. "There's already one suspected child molester throwing this party. Let's not start more rumors about what sorts of rides you're giving children."
Draco and Harry both groaned simultaneously, turned to each other, and immediately stopped.
"And since when can you turn into a dragon?" Draco jealously asked.
Harry rolled his eyes. "The girls should be getting here at the same time as the children in about ten minutes. So our dangerous beasts should be arriving soon. And the clowns I hired will probably be fashionably late."
"Dangerous beasts?" Draco asked meekly.
"Clowns?" Remus inquired frightfully.
Harry was surprised. "Moony! Are you scared of clowns?"
Remus frowned. "They're freaky, okay? I saw a muggle movie when I was young."
"Sorry Moony," Harry said, though he didn't look it. "I doubt these clowns are the kind you're worried about, but," Harry admitted grudgingly, "they are scary."
"Dangerous beasts?" Draco repeated a bit more firmly.
Harry smiled and shook his head. "They're not dangerous …unless you piss them off. They're just-" Harry stopped and looked up in the sky above the grounds at Malfoy Manor. "Here they are."
Draco turned in the direction Harry was looking. "No way, Potter. You have got to be kidding me."
Harry just smiled at Draco. "The kids will love them. Way better than ponies."
"But ponies won't eat you!" Draco angrily replied.
Remus smiled recognizing a familiar face in the sky.
The large creatures landed, with a most notable one in the lead. It gracefully approached Harry.
Harry couldn't stop grinning to save his life. "I know it's been a few years, but Draco, you remember Buckbeak, don't you?"
Draco's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets upon the realization of just exactly who this particular hippogriff was. "You're… You're supposed to be dead!"
This was apparently not the best way to greet the proud creature. Buckbeak roared out a displeased squawk. Draco briefly entertained the notion of trying to remember the proper way to deal with this particular beast, before giving in to his Slytherin nature, and turning tail and sprinting away as fast as his pale little chicken legs could carry him.
Buckbeak, by most standards was domesticated, and knew today was for the youngsters. But even he felt a few rounds of chase the ferret would be necessary to get through the day.
Harry and Remus just chuckled to themselves as Draco was trying to run in zigzags in an effort to confuse and avoid the rampaging hippogriff chasing after him. Harry turned and looked at the three other hippogriffs that came with Buckbeak. They puffed themselves up proudly when they realized they were being observed, though not quick enough for Harry to miss the snorts of amusement they had been making.
Remus' smile faltered and he asked, "You didn't really hire any clowns, did you?" Remus' eyes were pleading. "Because I'm not sure I'm ready to deal with that."
Harry was filing this information for later. There's something infinitely satisfying about scaring the crap out of your close friends. "No worries, Remus. I didn't hire anybody. Just a couple of clowns volunteered their time when I respectfully asked them to. These aren't the kind in make-up, baggy outfits, oversized shoes, or pod creatures destroying all humankind."
Remus shivered involuntarily.
Before Harry could ask anything else, dozens of children of varying ages appeared with their invitation portkeys. Aunt Ginny, Aunt Hermy, and Aunt Tonky arrived with the official host of the party, Simon.
Simon stood back up after falling from the portkey trip, and ran to give Harry a hug, yelling, "Uncle Poncy!"
The three ladies looked at Harry intently. They were not looking very happy at all. Hermione in particular. Before Hermione could begin any sort of angry rant, Tonks asked, "Where's my cuz? Isn't he supposed to be co-hosting this?"
Hermione's anger seemed to have abated a bit as she too looked around wondering the same thing.
Harry smiled one of his particularly scary smiles and said, "He's catching up with an old friend. One he thought was dead and hadn't seen for years."
The girls were momentarily confused. But only until a piercing girlish shriek was heard getting louder and louder. It was building to a crescendo when Draco Malfoy became visible, sprinting away from around the back of his Manor. His clothes were torn and it appeared his body was covered with shallow cuts, as if he had been sprinting through a thorn field. About twenty feet behind him was a sprinting hippogriff all three girls immediately recognized. Tonks, Hermione, and Ginny were laughing almost as loudly as all the children were. Even if you don't speak the same language, a man running in fright and screaming a high-pitched girlish scream is always funny.
Draco was making some hilarious faces. He would turn towards Harry to stare angrily, but he kept having to watch where he was going as he did have a rampaging beast chasing after him. As a result he was snapping his head back and forth, rotating between facial expressions of undiluted terror and an indignant angry scowl.
Harry decided to be a nice guy and winked at Simon and the girls. "Watch this."
Harry scrunched his face in concentration and yanked at something invisible in the air. With a loud pop Draco disappeared in mid stride, and reappeared right next to Harry with just enough momentum to trail off his girlish scream into a yelp before he landed face first on the ground.
"Great Merlin, Potter." A huffing, but obviously relieved Malfoy got up off the ground and was dusting his robes clean. "There's a reason you're not supposed to force apparate someone who is sprinting. Especially through anti-apparition wards! Stop doing that Potter. You're going to scramble my brain one of these times."
"Oh pish-posh," Harry scolded. "You're fine." Harry looked him over. "Well maybe a scratch or two, but those weren't my fault."
Draco growled realizing just how undignified he looked.
"Simon," Draco said bowing imperiously, "welcome to Malfoy Manor. I am pleased to see you and all your guests have arrived unharmed." Draco snarled a little at Harry. "With your Uncle Poncy here, there's no guarantees they will be able to leave in as good condition."
Harry gave Draco one of those looks he picked up from the Headmaster. A look that says: If you act like a child, you will be treated as such. "Come on, Simon. Let me introduce you and everyone else to Buckbeak. If you guys treat the hippogriffs well, you might even get to ride one."
"Really?" Simon asked quietly. "That'd be awesome!"
"An adult will need to ride with you, but if you treat the hippogriffs with respect they will probably let you ride them. Buckbeak here let me ride him the first time I met him." Harry explained.
Draco was keeping his distance from the savage beasts, but all the rest of the adults, including Harry, Remus, Ginny, Tonks, and Hermione, were happily introducing the children to the hippogriffs and teaching them about the magnificent creatures.
The children were all extremely careful and were bowing every few seconds to the hippogriffs. After a while, even the hippogriffs were getting tired of the excessive respect they were shown. Buckbeak rested his head on Harry's shoulder, and Harry got the message. The hippogriffs allowed the adults to help the kids mount and ride them. And the children were all screaming with excitement and exhilaration.
After all the kids had gotten to ride on a hippogriff, many of them in awe, because they got to ride with the Harry Potter, everyone was settling down in the shade of a large tree. House elves brought out all kinds of snacks and juices for the kids. They were going to have dinner later, and follow it with cake and ice cream.
While they were relaxing in the shade, loud horns began tooting. The sound was growing in volume, announcing an arrival. Right as the horns blared their peaks there was a large explosion in front of them and massive volumes of thick orange smoke. Two identical but very familiar voices yelled out "Ta-da!" just as the smoke was clearing. One was wearing a neon purple spandex body suit with a blue cape billowing in a nonexistent wind. The other was wearing a lime green spandex body suit with a blue cape billowing in another nonexistent wind. In the off chance someone didn't notice their very indicative hair color, and couldn't recognize them with their goggles on, then at least they surely would have read The Quibbler article about their immaculately conceived pet Dalmatian. Who was looking quite dashing in his blue cape billowing in a nonexistent wind.
"Greetings," the one in green spandex began.
"And salutations," the one in purple quickly added.
The one in green continued, "My name is Gred."
"My name is Forge," the one in purple mimicked.
"Forge," Gred began, "why don't you inform the co-host of this party, and Lord of the Manor, about our little…ahem…"
"Situation?" Forge offered.
"I was going to say 'pickle', but that works as well." Gred said with a nod.
Forge waved to Draco and walked off to talk to him.
Draco couldn't hide his look of fear. He was seriously thinking he would need to sell this place and move before this party was over. "Hiya Draco," Forge began.
"Weasley," Draco said with a tired sigh.
"Not going to guess which one I am?" Forge asked.
"Does it matter?" Draco responded.
Forge began to talk and stopped himself. "Hmm. I was going to say, it does matter to us, but I'm not even too sure about that."
Draco turned his head and thought for a second he saw something run past the window in the Manor.
"Anyways," Forge stated. "We brought a … umm … large contingent of nifflers with us for a trick. And some of them escaped from their cages when we weren't paying attention."
Draco groaned. "Little pests are annoying, but we can have the gardeners take care of them."
Forge winced and added. "See the problem is, I'm pretty sure they went through your back door's doggie door. But it's nothing to worry about unless you have something shiny in your house."
Draco was angry and then confused. "I don't have a doggie door."
"Oh," Forge said with his eyes twinkling. "Then I guess one must have burrowed through your door and then Buckbeak chased after him. And the rest just hopped through the massive hippogriff shaped hole instead."
Draco whimpered a bit as he processed this. A few seconds of silence, before Draco's eyes widened and he turned and sprinted into his manor as quickly as he possibly could.
Forge made his way back to the kids and found Gred was making balloon animals for the kids. From the look of it, Gred wasn't very good at balloon animals as another kid settled for a snake just like everybody else.
"Forge!" Gred yelled out.
"Gred!" Forge responded.
"Come on, Forge," Gred said. "We have got to talk behind the tree over here."
The kids all turned and heard Gred and Forge arguing behind the tree. From the sound of it, they were hurting themselves a bit too. Slowly the pair walked back around the tree. They didn't appear any different, but they were walking extremely cautiously almost like zombies.
"This is freaky, Gred," Gred said.
"Actually, I think I'm Forge and you're Gred," Forge replied.
"Oh … right." Gred agreed.
Forge then raised his right arm and stuck out his pinky. "Hey! What are you doing?" Forge said apparently talking to his pinky. He was slowly raising it closer to his face. "Cut it out!" Forge yelled before firmly jamming his pinky up his own nostril.
"Oh my god, this is grody." Gred exclaimed.
Forge slowly pulled his pinky out of his nose, and there was a piece of snot clinging to it. Forge appeared scared of the clinging boogie, and began moaning, "No, no," while wiping his pinky into his own hair.
To the children, this was the epitome of high brow comedy. Those low brow comics always go back to the doody. The kids were absolutely loving this, while the girls looked thoroughly scared. Harry kept snickering though, because he knew exactly what was going on, unlike everyone else not in spandex.
Forge growled despite the snot in his hair. "Alright, that's it," he said. And then Gred ran over to Forge and kicked him right on the shin. "Owwwww!" Gred yelled while Forge fell to the ground clenching his bruised shin.
Forge was rolling on the ground and seemed to mashing his own face into the dirt. Forge was muffledly swearing to both himself and Gred. "Useless… bloody… wanker…"
Forge stopped rolling his own face into the dirt and used this pause to yell at Gred, "Are you gonna behave long enough so I can help us up?"
"Fine," Gred grumbled and walked over to offer a hand to Forge on the ground.
Forge on the other hand, was waiting until Gred got closer, and as soon as he did, he quickly rolled over, jumped up and laid into Gred the hardest loudest uppercut any of the kids had ever seen.
Gred's head popped clean off his body, taking the blue cape with it. As the head flew through the air, it smiled and yelled out, "Got it!"
Apparently watching a man decapitated with a punch, and a severed head smiling and yelling was not expected. The kids' laughter turned quickly into screams. The matter was not improved upon when Tonks began flailing her arms and screaming even louder.
Gred's head landed with a thud and rolled to a stop at a pale Ginny's feet. The head ended up staring at Ginny with a smile and said, "Wow, Gin. You've really sprouted some breasts, haven't you?"
Ginny let out a frightened whimper, while Tonks ran from the head.
Gred's headless body stumbled over and managed to pick up his head with blue cape billowing in a nonexistent wind. The body lifted the head, and in a remarkable feat of hand-eye coordination, threw the head arcing high through the air. The head's eyes were wide and it yelled out "Tonks," who managed to turn around just in time to get head butted in a way never before thought possible. There was a loud thud as one face smashed into the other. Tonks frightened screams seemed to have settled her right on the edge of catatonic shock.
Somewhere in this ridiculous mess, the still whole body of Forge and Harry Potter were both completely cracking up in gales of laughter. The children's screams of horror, also shifted into laughter and screams of delight. Hermione seemed to have worked out what was going on and her skin tone was regaining some color. Ginny appeared sickly pale and was especially skittish. Tonks on the other hand seemed almost a broken shell of a person.
Gred's headless body stumbled over and picked up Gred's decapitated head again. He was holding the head in front of him, aiming it towards Tonks. The head said, "You're okay, Tonks. Just having a spot of fun for the kids." Tonks showed little response, and the headless body and Forge both shrugged.
"Are you kids alright?" the floating head of Gred asked.
They all giggled and laughed. Lots of smiles and nodding.
Forge added, "Now don't you try this at home. Remember,"
The floating head finished, "We're professionals."
Forge called out to Gred, "Let's get the right bodies, so we can take these itchy capes off."
As Gred's body walked up to Forge, Forge seemed to pinch a couple of spots under his cape, and deftly lifted his own head and cape off his shoulders into the air. Gred's body and Forge's body traded each other heads, and they settled them onto their bodies again. They fiddled a couple things under the cape again, and then pulled the cape's a bit looser and pulled them over their heads. Both Gred and Forge turned their heads and necks around, loosening the muscles, and they in unison yelled, "Ta-da!"
The children jumped to their feet cheering and clapping for the scary twins in green and purple spandex. The twins took several bows to all the cheers and applause.
Ginny had stopped clenching her heart and Harry and Remus had managed to stop laughing. Hermione looked like she completely disapproved of that stunt. Tonks on the other hand was apparently finally settling down, and seemed to be taking deep calming breaths. She relaxed and turned to the cute puppy she had completely forgotten about in all the commotion. Sadly, since she had completely forgotten about the little guy, she was completely unprepared for the dog to happily bark the word "Hello!" to her.
And when she started in on the paint-peeling screams of terror again, the kids all started laughing and screaming more. And of course, the puppy was loudly saying repeatedly "Hello!"
Finally, Tonks blood pressure reached critical mass and she passed out before she did herself any serious medical damage. And much like the adults, the children all laughed at her.
Draco made his way over to the giggling group, dragging a large sack that was moving and shifting quite a bit. "Finally. It took all of the house elves, but here's your no good bloody nifflers, you useless wankers."
Gred and Forge smiled at each other brilliantly.
"This better be a pretty amazing trick," Draco growled out.
"Oh it is!" Forge happily replied, taking the sack of nifflers from Draco.
Gred added. "Even Harry knows this trick."
Harry smiled. "I do?"
Forge nodded. "Number thirty-seven on our list of-"
"Better things to do than go to Potions class." Gred finished.
Harry burst out laughing.
Draco sighed defeatedly. "What's number thirty-seven?"
Gred and Forge smiled at each other and said in unison, "Release destructive creatures in Malfoy Manor. Goodbye kids!" And with another explosion of bright orange smoke Gred and Forge disappeared from the grounds of Malfoy Manor.
