Disclaimer: i own nothing harry potterish

A.N. Thankyous to everyone who reviewed. Sorry i haven't time to address you directly but FF has only just let me put this chapter up, bloody document manager wouldnt load up properly for some reason, and now i've got class so i have to dash. This chapter contains "F" word twice, just in case anyone would be offended. Hopefully will update tomorrow.

Remus' thoughts

Sirius' thoughts

Amaya's thoughts

enjoy the chapter.


Wiping her running nose one the sleeve of her robes, Amaya smiled through her tears. Soft hands smoothed her hair away from her forehead, and gentle kisses peppered her skin. As another wave of happiness crashed over her, she through herself into her Papa's arms once more, giggling as he swung her round, as he had always done when she was a child. Pulling a tissue from his pocket, Remus wiped the tears from his own eyes, before gently wiping away Amaya's. It was a sweet display of parental affection, that wrenched the heart of the raven-haired man who watched them, and not for the first time, he regretted trusting James over Remus, depriving himself of this sort of happiness. Shaking his head to clear himself of the image of Remus clinging to the door handle in the midst of a panic attack, over what they had believed to be their revealing his betrayal, and of blows raining down on him as he curled to protect his belly and the child, his child, that was growing there; Sirius walked over to the girl he was rapidly growing to love and admire, and the man, truth be known, hestill did.

He was rewarded with a fierce embrace from Amaya, as she hung from his neck, feet dangling a foot off the ground. She had not inherited his height.

'Thank you. Thank you so much. I was angry when you didn't reply to my owls, but now I see why.' She hiccupped, and wiped her nose again.

'What owls? I haven't been home. After the trial I went to the Camp and got Remus. Anyway, all thanks go to you. You're the one who found the curse. Not me. I'm just sorry it took so long for you to be together again.' Remus frowned at the saddened tone. Amaya ignored it.

'I'll get the elves to make a bed up for you. There are plenty of rooms at my house for you Remus. You can still be together then.' Remus smiled at Sirius in gratitude. Amaya's comment caused his brow to crease in confusion.

'What? Now that Papa is out, we can go back to Lancashire. The adoption papers have been proven to be a fraud, so you aren't my legal guardian, so I don't have to stop with you. We can go back home and go back to our lives.' Remus could see Sirius' hackles flare up in anger, and rage laced his eyes. But he saw the under-lying hurt. Years with his former lover had shown him how Sirius hid his pain behind his rage. He used anger as a refuge where he could hide his "weaknesses" until, in private, he released them to rage over him in an uncontrollable torrent that expressed themselves in fierce blows to a punch bag, screams of defiance in a sound proofed room against whoever tried to hurt him, or uncontrollable weeping. As Sirius opened his mouth to speak, Remus cut in.

'I thought you got on. Umbridge said you two were happy together.' In his bemusement, he never noticed the increasing incredulity on both Sirius' and Amaya's face. 'She said that Amaya told her "I've never been happier"'. To which Amaya promptly fell over laughing. Sirius frowned at first but soon joined her in her mirth.

Remus stood, confusion evident in his face. Then he began to smile. There was so much of the man he had once loved in Amaya it was scary. How he had never noticed it before, Remus would never know, but seeing the two side by side, the closeness was all too evident. The way that when laughing, their silvery blue eyes sparkled and danced, the way that amusement caused their cheeks to crease up and a dimple to appear. The way they doubled over breathless, yet still laughing. Remus shook his head ruefully. If only Peter had not betrayed them. If only Sirius had trusted him. If only he had shrieked his news to Sirius, spoken over his interruptions. Too many "If onlys". Noticing that their mirth was subsiding, Remus waited for their chuckles to fade.

'Oh that was priceless. You should see my crockery bill. What else did she say?' Sirius spoke through chuckles But Remus had reached the point he least wanted to discuss. Shame suffused through his cheeks at the thought of asking his daughter whether she loved him.

'She' Remus broke off with an embarrassed smile, staring at a worm that was burrowing through the lawn 'She also said that you didn't want to see me, and never would. That's why you didn't see me.' Squaring his shoulders, Remus prepared himself for his daughter's response, whatever it was, although her reaction to his return had given him the first flame of hope. The look of utmost fury on her face wafted the flame to a raging fire.

Amaya stood, filled with a seething fury. Walking over to an equally stunned Sirius, she slapped him with all her might. His flinch was not enough for her, and she punched him hard, forcing all air out of his lungs so that he knelt gasping on the floor. Then she screamed at him

'YOU BASTARD. YOU UTTER FUCKING BASTARD. I ASKED YOU, NO I BEGGED YOU TO LET ME SEE HIM. I SENT SIX, COUNT THEM SIX LETTERS, IN ONE WEEK ASKING YOU TO LET ME SEE HIM AND IT WAS TUESDAY BLOODY MORNING. TOSSER' Amaya made to hit him again, but Remus caught her arm as she swung it back. In the instant where Amaya was silent as she looked at her Papa, Sirius regained his voice and temper.

'JUST ONE BLOODY MINUTE. DON'T YOU SHOUT AND SWEAR AT ME LIKE THAT. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? BY RIGHTS I SHOULD GIVE YOU A PASTING…'

'YEAH RIGHT. I'LL HIT YOU BACK JUST AS HARD…'

'I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD VISIT REMUS. I ASKED UMBRIDGE AND SHE SAID THAT THERE WAS NO VISITING HIM. YOU NEEDED HER PERMISSION. I ASKED HER. I TRIED. SO NEXT TIME, DON'T FUCKING HIT ME UNLESS YOU KNOW THE FULL FACTS.' Maybe it was Sirius swearing that badly, maybe it was Remus' constant touch on her arm but Amaya didn't answer, she just stood silently raging at her other father. Then his words sunk in and the red anger that had coloured her face became equal to that of ten sunsets from her shame. Pulling Remus' arm into a sheltering semi-circle around her, pale eyes, a sharp contrast from the livid scarlet that coloured her face, cast down in her shame, she murmured her apology in a timid voice. Sirius just nodded. Feeling anger stir again, Amaya lifted her head 'Well you could acknowledge my apology. What does a nod do? Anyway, you need to apologise yourself. If you hadn't have barged around making those stupid demands, maybe I could have gotten to like you. Then we could have gotten along like any other normal family. But no, you wanted things done five days ago and you abducted me.' She tried to wrestle her arms free to slap him again, but Remus, aware of his daughter's temper having experienced it before in rants about her bullies and before she was born in Sirius rants about his families, held her arms too tightly. Wriggling furiously she tried to free her arms as she raged 'Then you see Remus put into a camp, and do nothing to help him or make his sentence any easier. Shithead.'

'That is enough.' Amaya slumped into Remus arms at his softly spoken yet steely command.

'Only because I can't be arsed any more.' Amaya mumbled, as she leaned her full weight onto her Papa. Sirius laughed as Remus let go and stepped back, effectively dropping Amaya onto her rear. She mock glared at both of them before slumping onto the lawn. Sirius sat next to her, Remus the other side, legs folded beneath him.

Pulling idly at tufts of grass, long green stems that had occasionally grown longer than the others, and tickled his long fingers when they swayed, Sirius spoke. 'I know I've been a bit of a knob…' he frowned at a cough from Amaya that sounded suspiciously like 'Understatement.'

'…But I've realised that now. I did try to lighten Remus sentence. It was me that got him to a werewolf camp and not Azkaban.' At Remus questioning look, Sirius explained 'Didn't you notice One of the Wizengammot members speak to Dumbledore, before he said your sentence?' Remus nodded bemused. 'That was Gladys Mayfair. She was a friend of My Uncle Alphard's. She owed him one and since he's dead and can't collect the favour, I did. She talked Dumbledore into the camp idea. At least there you are fairly treated.' Sirius re directed his attention to Amaya. 'Anyway, Madame. Did you not read my letters?'

Amaya snorted through her sulk 'Of course. That's why I know that I couldn't see Papa.'

'Well in my letters, I said that I had asked. I really did think that no one was allowed to see Remus.' Sitting up, Amaya looked Sirius in the eye and her apology was genuine and heart felt. Nodding in mock earnestness, Sirius spoke 'You're forgiven.' Muttering under his breath 'I learnt my lesson last time.' He rubbed his jaw ruefully and Amaya gave a bashful smile. Opening his mouth to speak, Remus closed it again, not wanting to spoil the mood by disrupting the two volatile people next to him. Instead he looked over at the reflection of the slowly sinking sun on the lake, rippled only by the squid's lazy movements.

Several students walked past, from their direction coming from the owlery. Catching snatches of their disgruntled conversation, Sirius turned in amazement to Amaya.

'Just exactly how many owls did you send me?' Amaya giggled madly.

'I don't know exactly. I lost count after the first seventeen.' She giggled even louder 'I'd hate to see the state of your lovely new car when you get home. I don't think it will be black any more.'

'Bitch. First you sabotaged my bike, and now my car. You've had it missie.' He dived at her as she squealed. Remus laughed at the pair, Sirius tickling mercilessly, and Amaya, laughing, writhing in an attempt to escape from the onslaught, heels drumming into the turf before he was dragged into the attack breathless laughs escaping him.

Remus looked up to find himself staring into swirls of pale eyes, a light mercury that was one of his most favourite shades of grey. Sirius felt himself drown in pools of rich amber, the exact colour of rough-cut gold. Spell broken, the laughter died from their faces and Sirius pulled away almost regretfully. Almost.

Oh god. Oh God. OH GOD. What is happening? I can't still have feelings for him. Not after all he has done. No, No it is just a link we have, we were friends for a long time, and we have a child. That's it. Nothing more…Is it?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING BLACK? Do you want to cock everything up again? Don't be a moron, practically jumping him like that. Well, he is good looking. Arrrrrgh no, do not go there. Anyway, what's done is done. There's no going back…Is there?

o.k. My parents are practically snogging. In front of me. Eeeeeeeeew that's gross. Just a minute. Sirius is leaning fully on Papa. What are you doing to him you creep. You can't get back together…Can you?

A large splash as the squid dived brought them out of their thoughts. Seeing how low the sun was on the horizon, Remus estimated it to be roughly seven. 'We'd best go inside if we are to get any food.'

'Most of it would have gone though.' Sirius objected, 'especially if these kids are anything like what they used to be like in our day…'

'Our day. My God Sirius you are showing your age aren't you.' Amaya piped up. Sirius just glared at her

'As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, why don't we go to the kitchens, and grab something there.'

The trio made their way inside, the men eagerly comparing what they liked best about the kitchens and relating long past raids, back in the time when their friendship had been strong and they had thought themselves indestructible, and that nothing would or could stand in their way.

From the shadows of the forest one lone boy, platinum blonde hair gleaming in the dying light crept up to the castle behind them. He was grateful for his girlfriend's temperas it had alerted him to her presence. Much as he liked her, he had no desire to see anyone right know, least of all her with her bright vivacity. Though he needed her life to bring light to his dark mood and darker predicament. Slinking up to where his secret room was on the third floor, he hissed the password. Entering the room, he collapsed, moaning in pain as a fire sprang to life in the fireplace as he had charmed it to do when he entered his refuge. Climbing onto the large bed, he fell asleep dressed, not wanting, not daring to remove any of his layers. Not daring to reveal the ugly black tattoo that lay underneath his left sleeve.


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