The full moon was out and shining in on my skin. Taking a deep breath I moved my knees closer to my chest and leaned on them, contemplating my future. It just 12 hours I would really have no way back. The battle would be over and Scott would win. My mind was telling me it was the right thing to do, go through with this wedding and let Fulton have a chance at a normal life.
"He just thinks he loves me." I thought out loud, "It was just a childhood crush that he can't let go of." Then why did he look at me that way tonight? I did miss him when I was gone and even when I should have been set to a competition my mind was always falling back to him. Why was my heart always betraying what my mind told it to do?
"How could he build the house?" I thought looking at the keys sitting on my desk.
"Didn't he realize I'd moved on?" The keys shone as a ray of moonlight hit them and I stared at them for ten minutes before grabbing them and changing quickly, I headed for my car.
The road was dark as my eyes were blurred with tears. I almost missed the old gateway, leading to the long driveway and I cut it fast. Pulling in, the lake reflected the moonlight, causing the house to be illuminated like out of a dream. I turned my headlights off and parked in front of the house and sat there staring at it, the second time I'd laid eyes on it.
"Oh, Fulton..." I gasped, it was the exact of the picture I drew so many years ago. I look up at the sky, hearing a rumble of thunder from above and quickly decided to move towards the house. The rain started slow and then the sky just opened up in a flood. I ran for the porch, shaking off the rain from my hair and looked down at my hand, the keys dangling from my fingers,
"It is my house." I thought silently and I stepped towards the door. My hand shook as the lock unlocked in my hand, the soft click beckoning for me to open the door. I opened the door stepping inside to the warmth of a fire burning. He sat there looking to be lost in his own thoughts before the click of my heels on the hard wood awoke him. He stood up quickly, looking me over.
"Tammy...I..."
"Fulton...I don't know what to say...it's beautiful." I said looking around.
"What are you doing here?" He asked in surprise. "That was a stupid question, it's your house now." I looked around, searching for the answer,
"I don't know, I couldn't sleep and I just ended up here..." I said confused. "I can't believe you built this for me..." I said still shocked from seeing the house.
"I loved you...I still do." He said stepping from foot to foot, nervously.
"I'm so sorry, Fulton..." I said not knowing what else to say.
"Don't be...we had something that I don't think I'll ever find again." He said beginning to collect his coat, leaving some blankets on the floor. It looked like he had been camped out here for the last two weeks.
"Where are you going?" I asked confused.
"This is your house now...I just came back to say goodbye." He said putting his coat on.
"Goodbye to the house or goodbye to me?" I asked, blocking his way, my eyes were tearing up. He immediately wiped the tears from my cheeks as they began to fall.
"Don't cry, Tammy...you're too beautiful to cry." He said as I felt a few more tears fall.
"I'm just making you upset. I should go." He said heading past me. I felt like my heart dropped into my stomach as I turned fast, following him out of the open door.
"Fulton!" I cried out in the rain. He turned, looking at me though the rain.
"It never really ended, did it?" I asked my tears masked by the rain.
"Not for me. I always hoped you come back eventually. I waited 6 years..." He said softly. My face felt hot as I let out a cry. He slowly lifted his hand to my face and pushed the hair behind my ear. The rain hit us like ice, as that moment stretched on into minutes, neither one of us knowing what to say.
"God, Tammy, I missed you so much. It felt like part of me was missing." He said rubbing my cheek.
"Fulton...please don't hate me." I said tears still falling. He laughed a little,
"I could never hate you." He said looking into my eyes "I loved you when you left and I'll still love you as you walk down that aisle tomorrow."
I tried to smile but just felt my heart breaking,
"I'm so confused..." I said moving into his embrace more. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and held me as I cried into his jacket.
"Just do what makes you happy." He said stroking my hair.
"I don't know anything, I shouldn't have come here, I'm gonna end up ruining everything." I said, pulling my keys from my pocket and heading for my car before he could respond.
"If the only reason you're doing this is because you feel some duty to this guy or that you don't want anybody to get hurt. You're going about it the wrong way. You're gonna regret it for the rest of your life." He said. I turned to look at him as I reached my car. He had tears forming as he stepped closer to me.
"You think about how Scott will feel all the time but do you never wonder how I'm feeling, Tammy? You're hurting me...can you feel my heart breaking?" He asked as he placed my hand on his chest. I bit my lip to stop myself from crying. "I've poured my heart and soul into loving you. I'm sorry, that's all I have. I can't buy you everything. All I can offer you is love and the promise that you'll never doubt that love. I built this house out of that love!" He said as I turned from him. "It will never be enough though, it will always fall just short, huh, Tammy? I'm never gonna be good enough. Good enough for you, good enough for your parents?" He asked
"Don't bring them into this! They aren't making these decisions for me!" I yelled turning back to him.
"No, but it matters what they think!" He said as I didn't say anything.
"I love you... but I can only take so much. I'm through with your games." He said turning to walk away.
"Goodbye, Tammy Duncan." He said heading for the woods. I huffed and got in my car, turning over the engine. The radio came on,
Baby, when you touch me, I can feel how much you love me
It just blows me away.
I've never been this close to anyone or anything.
I can hear your thoughts; I can see your dreams
I don't know how you do what you,
Baby I'm amazed by you...
My eyes welled up with tears hearing the familiar song playing. I could still see Fulton's back through the rain my wipers were clearing away every 3 seconds. I felt my heart ache in my chest. I loved him, I thought biting my lower lip. I really loved him.
The smell of your skin, the taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
My memories came flooding back to me and I banged the steering wheel, getting out fast.
"Damn it!' I said jumping out. I've been so stupid!
I wanna spend my whole night in your eyes
I slammed the car door, running after Fulton
"Fulton!" I yelled running towards him. He stopped and turned to me as the rain was pouring down on him. The tears were streaming down my face as I ran to him, reaching for him. There in the rain, I pulled him to me, kissing him with all the emotion I'd been trying to hide.
"I can't let you go, not knowing that I love you too. I always have..." I said as he grabbed me again, kissing me. I pulled him back towards the house, out of the rain. He grabbed the back of my head pulling me closer with such passion I thought my head was gonna explode. Our rain drenched bodies met and a shock of electricity was sent through my body. I never wanted to let go of him again as I pushed his coat off and reached for the bottom of his shirt, pulling it over his head. Our eyes stayed locked on each other as we met again in another feverous kiss, still with the same amount of passion, telling the other everything we couldn't say. He ran his hands over my wet shirt, smoothing it to my body. I lowered my eyes and my lips trailed to his neck, a soft groan escaping his lips.
"Tammy…" He whispered pulling my mouth back to his as he lifted me so my legs went around his waist and he kissed my neck. I moaned slightly enjoying the feelings it was stirring inside of me.
"Fulton. I..." I started, as he already knew what I was going to say, leading us back to the blanket in the living room, in front of the fire. He laid me down gently, towering above me to fumble with my shirt. I was slightly embarrassed as he looked at my body. The moonlight and light from the fire masked my imperfections as he leaned down, kissing the side of my chin,
"You're beautiful." He whispered as I pulled him to me, "Don't leave me again." He whispered.
"Never...I love you." I said, as I was lost in the feeling of his kisses on my skin. He stared down into my eyes.
"I love you too, Tammy." He said before kissing me. It was the gentlest kiss I've ever felt. His hands caressed my skin as the moonlight shone over the rain pouring into the open door.
