Disclaimer: I obviously do not own Friends.

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THE ONE WITH THE STORY ABOUT THE CAMPING TRIP

Chapter Five: Fall

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"You what?" Chandler said in disbelief as he stared at the guy who had just mistaken him for 'a chick.'

"Well, it was dark, and you were holding the wood, you know, up there, and your shirt was puffing out and stuff... Sorry, dude. Try this again. Hi, I'm Joey Tribbiani, soon to be an actor."

Chandler sighed. He could care less that 'Joey Tribbiani would soon be an actor'. He was more concerned with hoping no one would ever know that he'd been mistaken for a girl. There was no knowing what that could do to his already sadly dying social life and 'popularity.'

"You gonna introduce yourself?" Joey asked.

"I'm Chandler."

"You're... Chandler?"

Chandler nodded and gave Joey a sarcastic smile. "Yes, I'm Chandler."

"Weird name, dude," Joey laughed. "So, you camping?"

"No, I'm gathering wood to build a log cabin for me and my six pioneer children. You see, we left with a wagon train six months ago to start a farm, and..." he trailed off. No point in finishing that story.

Joey seemed to be considering this. Then he shrugged. "Whatever. You alone?"

Chandler almost told Joey that at the moment he wished he was, but Joey didn't seem to be trying to annoy him. It was just happening. "Nope."

"Who're you with?" Joey asked.

"At the moment, my friend's sister's friend. My friend is stuck in the woods with his sister and her other friend."

Joey seemed to be trying to puzzle out exactly how everyone was related, and after a few seconds he smiled and nodded.

"So," he said, "This friend's sister's friend hot?"

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Monica squinted into the darkness from her perch in a tree. It hadn't been the easiest thing in the world to get up there, but she'd made it somehow. Wait! Was that a path? It looked like a break in the trees, and it was in the right direction.

"I think I found something!" she called to Ross and Rachel, who were searching for the path from their respective trees. "I'm not sure, though," she said on second thought. It could be a path, or it could be a natural break in the trees. It was too dark to really tell.

"Not sure?" Ross asked from somewhere to her left.

Monica explained her misgivings to her brother and friend.

"I'll use my radar to check," Ross said, laughing.

"Getting old," Monica told him.

"Okay, okay. Um, I'll come up and take a look."

The only sound was of leaves rustling as Ross climbed down from his tree. Then: "Mon, I'm coming up your tree now."

"Okay."

"Guys? It's getting kind of really dark," Rachel pointed out. "How far can you see?"

"I guess we'll be finding out soon," Ross said. "I'm right below you now, Mon."

"Okay, you see where I'm pointing?" Monica asked.

"Not really. I'm coming up a little higher."

Monica waited patiently as Ross came up the tree. His head was about level with her knees now. If he came up any higher they'd be sharing branches. And while Monica had lost some weight, she and Ross combined would probably break any thin high-up branch they shared.

"Can you see now?" Monica asked.

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"Can I at least meet her?" Joey pestered Chandler. "I mean, I might as well be the one to decide if she's hot or not. Because since I'm the one who cares, it should really be my opinion."

Chandler sighed and with the air of someone hitting his head against something in frustration said, "No."

"Well, it's not like you're going out with her! Wait... she doesn't have a boyfriend already, does she?"

Chandler shook his head.

"Then come on! Hey, how 'bout this. I help you two put up the tents if you introduce me to her. What did you say her name was?"

"I didn't say it was anything, but it's Phoebe. And—I'll probably hate myself for this—you might as well come. As long as you help with the tents!"

"Okaaay," Joey said happily.

Chandler led the way back to the would-be-Geller campsite, still carrying the wood. It was getting heavy, especially after all of that standing around and talking to Joey. When they finally got to the campsite, Chandler dumped the wood onto the ground. The noise brought Phoebe out of a half- standing tent.

"Hey Chandler," she said. Then she saw Joey. "Hello..."

Joey turned to Chandler. "Excellent butt. Great rack," he whispered in a tone that Chandler hoped Phoebe couldn't hear.

"Joey!" Chandler hissed. "Shut up!" he waved his arms around a little bit as if that would help him elaborate on his point. "She's—she's right there!"

But Joey was ignoring him. "How you doin'?" he asked Phoebe. "I just met Chandler here and he said he had a real hot friend..."

She giggled. Chandler rolled his eyes.

"Thank you. I'm doing good, except that this tent doesn't like me," she said. "Maybe it likes you."

"I know someone who likes you," Joey said. "And he's standing right in front of you..."

Chandler picked up the wood and lugged it another few feet until he didn't have to hear Joey flirt with Phoebe. He wondered if the Girl's Tent would change into a Joey-and-Phoebe Tent. He'd find out soon enough.

But that was supposing Ross, Monica, and Rachel didn't get back. But they had to! It would have been bad enough being here with just Phoebe... But Phoebe AND Joey? God no.

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Rachel listened to Ross and Monica try to adjust themselves in the tree so that they could both see. See what, she wasn't sure. She could only guess from hearing the dialogue.

"Is that it?" Ross asked.

"What are you pointing at?"

"That strip of trees!"

"I didn't see trees, I saw no trees," Monica clarified.

"Where did you do that? This is a forest!"

"Exactly! No trees would mean a path or something!"

"Is that—AHH!"

"Ross!" both Monica and Rachel yelled at the same time. A sound of splintering wood rang through the air. It was too dark for Rachel to see what had happened, but it was easy enough to guess. Ross had fallen out of the tree.

Monica and Rachel began to climb down from their trees. "Ross, are you okay?" Monica asked as her feet touched down on the ground. "What happened?"

"Um, I don't know. I don't know again," Ross answered from the ground.

"Can you get up?" Monica asked worriedly.

"Yeah," Ross answered, but he didn't seem too sure of himself. "OW! No, no I can't!"

"What's wrong?" Monica probed. "Where are you hurt?" Monica kneeled down next to her brother. He was sitting up, practically in a bush near the base of the tree. Well, at least he was sitting up.

"Um, my foot, I think," Ross answered.

"Let's get you out from that bush," Monica said. "Me and Rachel will grab your arms and pull you up on your good foot. You ready?"

"Yeah," both Ross and Rachel answered.

The girls pulled Ross up by the arms. He seemed lost as he stood between them balancing on his left foot.

"Log over there," Rachel reported. "We can sit there."

They hopped Ross over to the said log, where he sat down heavily.

"So, Ross," Monica began. "What happened, exactly?"

"Um, well, when I was trying to move up to see what you were talking about, you moved your foot and stepped on my hand. I had one hand off the tree because I was trying to climb up. So when I let go completely, um, I'm not sure what happened after that. All I know is that after that the branch I was on cracked and I fell, and it hurt. And here I am now." He laughed half- heartedly.

"I'm sorry, Ross, I'm so sorry!" Monica said. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Um," Ross began, "No." Then, a few moments later. "Monica, I'm not mad. Hug?"

Monica smiled. She hugged her brother.

"I think I'll join in," Rachel said. She wrapped arms around them both. "We'll get out of here somehow," she muttered.

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A/N: For those of you waiting for pairings, wait just one more chapter... they should start emerging then...

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Reviewer Replies

Iluvjoey4lyfe: I thought that was like Ross too... then again, I wrote the thing, so I'd better. Um, thank you. Again.

anonyme: I'll probably put M+C together eventually, I'm just taking my time at pairing anyone up. But it's coming soon, I promise! :) Glad you liked the Joey line.

uranus: Like I said, Monica and Chandler will probably end up together eventually, I'm just being slow about it. Soon, though! And yep, Joey's here! :)

chan-chan-man: Um... ff.net is a place to post the stuff YOU write... that's all. Um, glad you like it. Chandler's one of my favorites too.