Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.


CHAPTER THIRTEEN

"Who's Sandy?" Hermione asked.

"Sandy?" Harry inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"I'd forgotten until just now." Hermione explained. "At the start of term feast. You threatened Draco with telling the school something about Sandy. Who is she?"

"Ohhh." Harry chuckled. "Her." Harry considered and decided to keep this secret for a better time. "I'm afraid Draco would be extremely upset if I said anything about her."

"Fine. Keep your secrets. Even though I couldn't tell them if I wanted to." Hermione reminded Harry. "Don't forget Minnie wants Nicholas to drop by."

"Oh yeah. I'm curious what her Uncle Tom wrote. I'm not remembering any noteworthy Tom's from any of" Harry rolled his eyes and made obvious quote fingers, "my memories."

"You think she has a letter to give you?"

Harry frowned. "That is what she said. Was she lying? And that's why you and her seemed so stand-offish?"

Hermione was gobsmacked and just stared at Harry for a second. She snapped out of it and had a pleasant smile. "Oh that was nothing," Hermione placated. "Now morph into a particularly sexy great grandpappy Nicky and go see what her Uncle Tom wrote to you."

Harry was watching Hermione curiously. "Oh… kay."

Nicholas, as he was now, walked out of Hermione's staff quarters and down to Minerva's. He knocked on her portrait. A low husky voice from inside said, "Come in."

Nicholas stepped inside and said "Minerva? Are you okay? You sounded a little sickly there. Do you need to see Poppy?" Nicholas got no reply and the room appeared empty. As soon as he had completely cleared the entranceway the portrait guarding Minerva's door slammed closed, and Nicholas noticed locking, silencing, and privacy charms were all immediately triggered. "Minerva? Are you in here?"

When Nicholas didn't spot anyone hiding under invisibility, he asked again, "Minnie?"

A quiet meow alerted Nicholas to the animagus cat at his feet. She purred and rubbed up against his leg.

"Well aren't you a pretty pussy." Nicholas remarked and bent down to rub Minnie behind her right ear in that way that always makes her leg thump up and down. Minnie was being especially affectionate and seemed to be rubbing her feline body all over Nicholas's legs and feet. It was hard not to notice when she let her back legs go limp and seemed to be trying to drag her bottom half across his shoes, marking him in her own way. "Uh oh, Minnie. Looks like someone fell off the catnip wagon again."

Nicholas sat down cross-legged on the floor, and let Minnie crawl up into his lap while he continued to pet her. "Goodness you are being quite affectionate today, aren't you?" Nicholas kept up his ministrations that only seemed to spur on Minnie's fervent mewing sounds and deep purring. Nicholas smirked and said, "You know Minnie, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were in heat." He waggled his eyebrows in an attempt to tease her.

Minnie responded by purring deeper and extending her claws a bit.

Nicholas just smiled uncertainly and continued rubbing her head and back and extremely highly arched hind legs. After a few more minutes of stroking and rubbing the kitty, Nicholas spoke up. "As much as I am enjoying this Minnie, I think there was a reason you wanted me here other than to pet you."

The kitty stepped back directly in front of Nicholas and with a quick pop, morphed back into the Hogwarts transfiguration professor. Her hair was down and it cascaded more than halfway down her back. She was wearing see-through blood red negligee, and she stood with her hands on her hips towering over the man seated on the floor whose head barely made it up to her waist. Her legs were straddled over his and with a hungry look in her eyes and a wicked smile, she said, "You just keep petting that pretty pu-"

"Oh my god!" Nicholas shrieked like a girl with his eyes affixed straight ahead at a sight he never thought he would see. Nicholas tried to scramble backwards but Minnie kept stalking right back up to him.

"Professor McGonagall!" Nicholas screamed. "What on earth are you doing?"

Minnie's evil smirk continued and she throatily responded. "That's right. I'm a professor. And it's time you got a refresher course on the advantages of an experienced woman."

Nicholas was scared and kept skittering away but Minnie kept cornering him. She continued, "I'm sure there's something fresh and new about a doe-eyed little child like Miss Granger, but you should not forget that women are like a fine wine. We get better with age," Minnie leaned down closer to the pale, scared Nicholas, "and also like a fine wine, we make you really horny too."

Nicholas let out a pitiful whimper and scrambled to his feet. "Minnie, please! I think you misunderstand me."

"Have I?" she asked with a growl. "Was I wrong? Did I assume too much? Do I deserve to be punished?" She finished in a husky whisper.

"Oh sweet Merlin," Nicholas gulped.

"I can be whatever you want me to be." Minnie continued to plead her case. "We can role-play. I'll be the basilisk, you be Potter." Minnie dropped to her knees, shut her eyes, and opened her mouth wide. "Come on! Stick your sword in my mouth!"

"Oh heaven help me," Nicholas prayed.

"Careful I don't open my eyes or you'll go rock hard, my little Gryffie!"

"I gotta go," Nicholas yelled, taking advantage of her closed eyes. He waved his hand and brought down all the charms on the door and started running down the hallway. Nicholas spotted his salvation. "Professor Snape! Just a second!"

Minerva saw her prey escape and when she spotted Severus she quickly shut her door before she was noticed by the Potions professor.

"Severus. Oh lord, am I glad to see you."

"Nicholas." Severus said and inclined his head in a nod. "What can I do for you?"

Nicholas smiled. "You can pretend to carry on a conversation in case Minerva tries to hex me."

Severus made a friendly smirk. "Are you sure hex is the right word?"

Nicholas frowned and was about to reply when he sensed a spell headed right towards his unprotected back. A magical ring appeared and swallowed up the spell before it ever reached Nicholas. Nicholas looked over his shoulder and said, "Nice try, Minnie. I'll send you an owl later about what we discussed." Nicholas looked back at Severus. "Yes I think 'hex' was pretty accurate."

Severus nodded. "Certainly appears that way. Tell me, Nicholas, have you seen Potter around anywhere?" A small spasm and Severus growled and corrected himself. "Harry. Have you seen Harry? He wasn't in his office nor with Miss Granger or Miss Tonks."

Nicholas paused and replied. "Err, I think he may have been working on our project. I was heading back to the lab anyway. I'll send him to your quarters when I see him?"

"My classroom, please." Severus corrected. "Draco is doing some grading and he has a habit of taking off points if they put 'Gryffindor' down as their house."

Nicholas was a bit shocked. "And you're correcting him?"

Severus smiled. "Of course. He never takes enough points off for an answer that incorrect."

Nicholas shook his head with a mirthful smile. "Good day, Severus. I'll send Harry to your classroom." Nicholas made a show of pulling out a rubber duck, casting portus, and then disappearing with a pop.

Severus' curiosity was definitely piqued at the intentionally obvious show of portkey usage. He was thinking deeply on the walk to his classroom in the dungeons. Nicholas had mentioned Harry was off in some lab, but still managed to send the jolt through his phoenix mark when he called him Potter rather than Harry just now. Severus arrived in his classroom to see Draco was rubbing the top of his head furiously.

Harry was there and said, "Stop squirming you big baby! It's just an itching curse. I didn't know what Minnie threw at my back and I just deflected it. I didn't know you'd be in here."

Draco whined like a baby and kept scratching his scalp. He finally calmed down once Harry had managed to get the counter-curse to work on the impertinent blond ponce.

Harry turned and saw Severus standing in the door to the classroom. He was just staring in shock at Harry with his mouth open. Severus had obviously just realized something and he said loudly and angrily, "YOU!"

Harry groaned and realized his mistake. "Aww crap."

Severus was confused and flabbergasted. "You! You're… You're…" And whatever he was going to say was drowned out by Severus falling to the floor in agonizing pleasure. Harry quickly summoned Snape all the way into the room and put up some especially strong privacy wards.

Severus struggled to his feet, the look of dawning horror still evident on his face. Draco was just watching them curiously. Severus stated, "So you're…"

"Yes." Harry agreed.

"And even back…"

"Yes." Harry concurred.

"And that's how you…"

"Yes." Harry nodded.

"So all that time…"

"Yup." Harry said.

"But, but…"

"I know." Harry answered.

"That's insane!"

"Isn't it?" Harry smiled.

Draco was getting fed up. "Will you stop talking through your secret decoder ring!"

Harry and Severus ignored Draco.

"Are you going to obliviate me?"

Harry sighed. "That was my first impulse."

"I wish you wouldn't."

Harry considered. "I'm inclined not to at the moment."

"And Draco?"

Harry looked at Draco. "I'd be more likely to obliviate him, but I'm not sure it would be fair to tell just one of you."

Draco paled and still had no idea what was going on.

Snape realized something else. "So the project…"

"Mmm-hmm." Harry agreed.

"Hold on! What about when…"

"Not sixth but seventh." Harry explained.

"Oh good gravy."

Draco noticed they're seemed to be a lull in their discourse. "Umm, would someone care to clue me in? Preferably without a memory charm."

Severus looked at Harry hopefully and even tried stretched his mouth in an odd effort to smile.

Harry chuckled. "Oh stop that face. And fine, I won't obliviate either of you, but I will have to put you under a knowledge suppression hex. Your little former dark marks do not ensure enough loyalty, as I'm sure Riddle would agree."

Severus and Draco shrugged and accepted that.

Harry cast the spell and the large purple bubble expanded around them all and then slurped back into Harry.

"Alright, Severus. Clue in Draco, if you please."

Severus smirked and sneered. He sure loved figuring something out and then keeping that information to himself. "Our venerable Master, the Light Lord Potter here, has been impersonating Nicholas Flamel for a while."

Draco snapped his head to Harry, looking for confirmation. Harry nodded. "Actually not impersonating. I am Nicholas Flamel."

Severus' eyes widened. "What! What happened to Harry?"

Harry shrugged. "I'm him too."

Severus looked at Draco and could tell neither felt too comfortable with the ridiculously powerful schizophrenic in front of them. "Please explain."

Harry smirked. "Well I suppose the story starts with the brilliant muggleborn wizard, Markus James."

Severus frowned. "James? Never heard of him."

Harry smiled. "I wouldn't expect you to. He died relatively unknown in the late fifteenth century."

Draco and Severus again traded a worried look wondering how many personalities their Master had.

Harry rolled his eyes at the worry he could read on their faces. "He was extremely gifted, but was denied the ability to study alchemy, due to his lack of pure blood. So he made up an alternate identity from a pureblood line that most thought had died out. Called himself Nicholas Flamel. And from there you can guess, he became highly regarded as a warrior and an alchemist. People looked up to him to solve problems and fight against evil uprisings. Eventually the legend and mystique he carried was a bit more than he could handle as he aged."

Draco and Severus were both intrigued by this story and were listening attentively.

"So he decided to find the brightest and strongest and most honorable wizard, and pass on the legend. Before he did though, he created the Philosopher's Stone. Claimed it was the pinnacle of alchemy and with it came immortality. Of course this was a complete fabrication, but it allowed there to be a powerful light wizard, who could always intimidate from simply his reputation and his immortality. This continued throughout the years, as the many Nicholas Flamels grew older, they then had to train and find the wizarding world's next hero to carry the banner of Nicholas Flamel. In my sixth year, a great man named Wesley let me in on this secret and trained me to take his place as the current Nicholas Flamel. And as I told Severus, by seventh year I was Nicholas Flamel and taught myself DADA."

"Damn Potter, you gave me detentions!" Draco exclaimed.

Harry rolled his eyes. "And you deserved them."

"I was giving you private lessons!" Severus exclaimed. "And you were a student and a teacher and had a lot of other lessons. No wonder you've gone crazy."

"Oi! Careful now. I can change my mind on that obliviation real quick."

Draco smiled weakly. "That's uh… that's quite alright. I'll be good."

"So who else knows?" Severus asked.

Harry frowned. "Just Albus and Hermione. And now you two knuckleheads. And don't even try and spread it to others. The whole point of Nicholas Flamel is ruined if the secret gets out."

"Oh my god," Severus shouted. "Minnie's trying to get in your pants!" Severus proclaimed and fell into laughter.

Harry sighed and dropped his head on the table.

Draco just looked at Harry and started cracking up too.

"I have a feeling I have Albus to thank for that." Harry grumbled.

Severus was shaking his head. "I used to have so much respect for Flamel."

Harry huffed. "Oh geez. A little unfairly prejudiced? I'm still me."

"Yes, well…" Severus shrugged and dismissed him.

Harry growled, "And I can still kick your ass."

Severus frowned a bit meekly. "Well, duh."

"Anyways," Harry added. "What did you want to see me for, Severus?"

Severus looked at Harry and just stared blankly for several seconds. He seemed to be thinking heavily and finally said, "I cannot even begin to remember. I'm still running over things I told Nicholas Flamel that I'd never want to let a Potter know."

Harry mumbled, "And I thought I was immature." He continued in a louder voice. "Anyways, get back to me if you remember. And the knowledge suppression will allow you to talk to Albus and Hermione about Nicholas, if you're secure. I get the feeling you're going to have some questions once you guys snap out of your daze." Harry stuck out his tongue at Draco and Severus. "I'll see you guys later." And with a pop, Harry disappeared from the dungeon.

When Harry reappeared in his office, he spotted his first gift and loyal friend.

"Hey Hedwig. How're you doing, girl?"

Hedwig chirped a happy reply and held out her leg where a letter was attached.

"Oh?" Harry inquired. "You knew someone who would want to get a hold of me?"

Hedwig puffed herself up and chirped affirmative.

"You're too clever for your own good, you know that."

Hedwig nodded and shook her foot with the letter again.

Harry dug out some owl treats for her and opened his letter.

Dear Mr. Potter,

I don't know what you did or how you did it. I would love to find out exactly what and how but realize some of your secrets must remain just that: secrets. And it should not surprise you to find Simon is completely tight-lipped on any of the inquiries we've made. But as you suggested, our resident kitten is making great strides and improvements. His magical muscles have exceeded those of even incoming first years at Hogwarts and he very well may be completely cured within a month.

This is a wonderful blessing, but does carry some repercussions. As a ward of the Ministry and St. Mungo's, a clean bill of health will include Simon having to leave the place he has called home for most of his life. Without any family to take him in and care for him, it is unclear where he would be going. As such, I felt you needed to be aware of his situation in hopes you might be able to suggest a proper home. I'm not entirely sure your life would be conducive to providing him a proper environment to grow and develop in, nor whether you would want to. But I know your opinion means the world to Simon, and you might have ideas on options other than the default of a muggle orphanage.

My office and confidentiality will always be open to you. I hope to hear from you soon, or if I need to contact you again, I hope this lovely owl of yours shows up again.

Santos L. Halper
Head Healer,
Long-term Pediatric Care Ward,
St. Mungo's

Harry put the letter down with a genuine smile. This was great news. And it might even help Harry solve another of his problems. He just needed to figure out the best way to handle this.