Disclaimer: Friends still is not mine/ Though I'm wanting it more/ Friends still is not mine/ And it wasn't before/ Friends still is not mine/ maybe it belongs to yooooouuu...

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A/N: I don't know much about the eighties, not having been alive yet, so if there's anything I might want to add or change... please let me know!

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THE ONE WITH THE STORY ABOUT THE CAMPING TRIP

Chapter Seven: This Couldn't Be Real

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Chandler was fretting as he stuffed gram crackers, marshmallows, and chocolate into his mouth. Ross, Monica, and Rachel still weren't back yet. They must be really lost. They might even have to spend the night in the woods. But what if they never came back? Would someone find their bodies rotting in the forest two weeks from now.

Okay, calm down, Chandler told himself. No one was rotting. No one was dead. They were just a little lost. Maybe they'd have to camp out under the stars. It couldn't be all that bad.

Suddenly he heard Joey's voice from the tent.

"Come on, Phoebe. Why not?"

"Bad vibes in this forest right now," Phoebe answered.

Chandler wasn't quite sure what Joey wanted to do (though he had a very good guess), but the thought of Phoebe turning him down because of some "bad vibes" was pretty funny. Meanwhile the argument continued.

"Who cares about the bad vibes! Let's make some good ones!"

Joey probably didn't know how loud he was, but Chandler was fairly sure everyone at the campsite was getting an insight into the lives of Joey and Phoebe. He smiled at the thought. Maybe he should tell them. But, no, why bother. This wasn't his problem.

But he did have a problem. His friend was missing. And he wasn't doing anything about it. But he couldn't just go off into the dark woods by himself!

Now there was a thought. He couldn't go all by himself, but maybe he could get Joey to help him.

"Okay, the vibes are getting better," he heard Phoebe say.

"Oh, yeah, baby," Joey replied.

Okay, help from Joey could probably be ruled out.

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This was unbelievable. Unreal. Ross had nothing to say. He'd dreamed about this for ages--since what, ninth grade?--but now... nothing to say. This was dreamlike. Couldn't be real. Yes, that was it. Not real.

"You—you're messing with me, aren't you," he accused. Because there was no way that she actually liked him. This must be yet another form of geek- bashing.

"No, no, I'm not," Rachel said. She sounded sincere, but there was no way of knowing. He'd say yeah, sure, kiss me, and then she'd laugh and then all of Lincoln High would know and he's be tortured until he went to college.

"Um, no, don't," he said. "Don't kiss me." I don't know what you're doing, but I won't let you ruin my life.

"Oh," Rachel said rather offhandedly. "Why not?"

"Because, um, because... because you can't be serious. I mean..." Ross trailed off. His reason sounded stupid out loud. She was practically begging him!

"I though you liked me," Rachel said.

"I do, but... but I know you'll make me make a fool of myself."

Rachel said nothing. Ross had no idea what was going on in her mind... Was she trying to figure out how to salvage the trick? Probably. But it was too tempting. Rachel actually wanted a kiss. Or did she?

Monica had better come back soon and put an end to this. Wow, that thought had been unexpected. Since when did he want MONICA to break something up between HIM and RACHEL?

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Monica carefully picked her way through the brush, over logs, and around dips in the ground. She kept going in a straight line. She was very careful about this; she didn't want to get lost on her own.

She hadn't found anything yet, but it was hard to gauge distance in the dark. There could still be a path up ahead. And if there was a path, they would be able to find the campsite. Traveling would be much easier too, especially for Ross. He probably wouldn't be able to pick his way through the underbrush as well as she could. She'd have to see how he was doing when the morning came around.

But that brought up an interesting problem, one she'd known about but not really thought about. They would have to spend the night in the woods. They had no sleeping bags, no tents, no blankets, nothing. It would be cold and uncomfortable. But it was the only choice. They couldn't keep going tonight!

But they could sleep here! They had to be at the campsite! Would Phoebe and Chandler just wait there the whole night, hoping that they would come back, or would they call the Gellers and the Greenes and tell them that their children were missing in the forest? Was there a phone on the campsite? And if they did call, would their families send out search parties or call the police or the fire department to scour the woods in hopes of finding their lost loved ones?

Monica paused a moment to take a deep breath. If anything, she had to stay calm. She couldn't freak out, and she had obviously been doing just that, and it really hadn't done her any good. She had to think logically about this.

Logically... Well, she was probably in control of the little lost group. It sounded funny, but Ross was basically out of commission and Rachel was, well, Rachel. Chandler and Phoebe were back at the campsite, probably worrying about them.

There. That was a start to the logical thinking.

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It seemed that once again the vibes were bad. Joey complained loudly about it in the tent, but Phoebe was firm.

"No," she said. "Nothing while the vibes are bad. The forest is calling. Let's go."

Joey complained a little bit more, but there was nothing he could do. The forest's stupid bad vibes were ruining the night. They hadn't even done anything yet but make out. He put on his best pouty expression and emerged from the tent. Sometimes the pouty expression worked... but Phoebe seemed pretty fixed in her believe that the forest was giving out bad vibes or something and it would be impossible to do stuff.

He followed Phoebe over to Chandler's lonely campfire, where he was sitting and eating s'mores.

"Bad vibes, huh," he said.

"How—how did you know?" Phoebe asked.

"You were loud, both of you. But we've got a problem bigger than your stupid vibes to deal with! Ross and Monica and Rachel are gone!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Exactly," Phoebe said with annoying patience, "THAT is why the vibes are bad."

"Well, you coulda told me that!" Joey exclaimed. "'Cause I'll help you find them if it'll make the, uh, vibes better."

"You will?" Chandler asked.

"I need some good vibes, heh." Joey nodded and smiled his trademark Joey- smile.

"Okay, ANYWAY, we should start looking now, maybe along the path?" Chandler suggested. "They might be nearby. Okay, do we have a flashlight? C'mon! Grab flashlights!" So maybe he was a bit over-enthusiastic, but it felt nice to finally be doing something after sitting and worrying and eating s'mores it felt nice to actually be doing something.

Phoebe disappeared into her tent to retrieve a flashlight, and Joey hurried back to his campsite to do the same. In a matter of minutes they were back, and looking at Chandler expectantly.

"So, dude, now what?" Joey asked.

"To the path!" he exclaimed.

"Okay, now you're scaring me," Joey muttered as they rapidly made their way to the path, their flashlight beams lancing out into the darkness.

It was a bit too dark in Chandler's opinion. He could see nothing but what was in the glimmer of his flashlight, and al around were spooky night- noises that probably belonged to animals but shouldn't exist except on Halloween.

Something small flitted across the path in front of Chandler. "Bah!" he yelled, jumping back into Joey. But whatever had been there was gone now. It had probably been a squirrel or something. Must have been.

He resumed his walking, but now his heart was thumping. That had been nothing but it had really startled him. What if next time it was something, though? What was the name of this place? Bear Mountains? What if next time it was a bear?

He pointed this out to Joey and Phoebe. After all, if he was going to be terrified, they might as well be scared too.

"Oh yeah," Phoebe said, "I forgot about that. Hey, I wonder if I can talk to bears!"

"Just don't get yourself eaten, we've got a lot to do tonight," Joey said. Chandler agreed before he realized that he and Joey were talking about completely different things. He wanted to find Ross, and Joey, well, Joey wanted to do other things.

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Rachel knew she shouldn't be arguing. After all, she really shouldn't want to kiss Ross. But something in her was rebelling against whatever part of her mind was sensible.

"I swear, I'm not trying to play a trick! Really!"

"No," Ross said, though it seemed to be painful for him. He liked her after all. Or maybe it was his foot/ankle. Who knew? It was beside the point.

"I won't even tell Chip!" she exclaimed.

"What, you were going to tell him before?" Ross asked skeptically. "Look, if any of your friends found out about this, they'd beat me up. You see, I don't like getting beat up."

"No, no, I wasn't. Please? Please let me kiss you," Rachel pleaded.

"Yeah right... again."

"Oh, shut up," Rachel said. She grabbed his head and kissed him.

So maybe it was stupid. So maybe it was pointless. But it sure felt good.

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Please review!

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Reviewer Replies

Emma – Thank you. Uh, here's the next part. Please read on.

saRa – Yes, you're nice like that... :)

anonyme – Heh. Writing Chandler is fun... glad you like it.

higherbeingfriendsfan – M&C might get pair off soon... I dunno... I have to see where the story goes... It might be heading that way... you'll have to wait and see...

Friendsfan2000 – Glad you like Joey and Chandler—they're fun to write...

Freezyboncoolipants – I never used to think it was strange to reply to reviewers... no one in the Friends section seems to do it, though. Glad you like it... (I use way too many ...'s)