Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.


CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

And without warning, Severus' head filled with unbidden visuals and imagined conversations. At the forefront was the idea of a wizarding portrait featuring his apprentice who kept winking and licking his lips despite wearing only an open vest and overly tight leather assless chaps. "Unclean mental images! Unclean mental images!" Severus exclaimed. "Make it stop! Please!"

Severus let out a strained garbled yell and crumpled to the floor clenching the phoenix tattoo on his arm. He was unconscious in less than two seconds.

Albus gave Harry a frown.

"Hey! Don't give me that look." Harry defended. "He was begging for it stop. I obliged." Harry smiled cheekily, "Personal enjoyment went by the wayside."

"Of course," Albus sarcastically replied.

Draco was still looking around confused. Harry decided to help him, "Umm Draco, yes, I was just joking with you. And on that subject, thanks for sharing, but please don't… anymore." Harry shook his head, as he had the misfortune of picking up the thoughts Severus hadn't been protecting and had nearly been projecting. "Anyways, boys and girl, time for a little one on one with Mademoiselle Hoggy Warty, ta-ta!" And with a slight slurping sound Harry melted into the floor and disappeared from the Headmaster's office.

The Headmaster used his stick and called out "Wake" while pointing it at Professor Snape. He was mildly disappointed to see the spell worked exactly as it should have and Severus was calmly making his way back to consciousness.

The castle was functioning almost normally and the four staff members, Draco, Severus, Hermione, and Albus all made their way back to the Great Hall. Hermione tried to engage the accidentally possessed, questionably outed Professor Malfoy in a conversation. "Draco, can I ask you a question?"

Draco started to sneer but didn't seem to have his heart in it. Hermione took this as a positive reply. She boldly inquired, "Who's Sandy?"

"Not me!" Draco paled dramatically. "Err that is… umm, what?"

Hermione pursed her lips and saw how uncomfortable the question made him. "I've heard you and Harry mention her name, but neither you nor he seems to explain anything. Given your apparent lifestyle preferences, now I'm even more curious. So, who is she?"

Draco tried to hide the relief he was feeling. He scowled and just said "None of your business."

"Come on!" Hermione pleaded. "I can keep a secret obviously," she explained pointing to all the rest of the people in on Harry's big secret. "I'm just curious what she must have done to you."

Draco was beginning to believe the rumors of Hermione being able to survive on only food, shelter, clothing, and explanations. "She is none of your concern, and if you continue this line of questioning I will curse you severely."

Hermione wasn't easily deterred but apparently younger Draco was as tight-lipped as current Draco. "Oh really? You'll curse me?" She said pointing mockingly at his thin brown stick.

Draco remembered his current situation and added, "I'll shoot a grape in your eye."

Severus apparently had been listening in. "Trust me. It hurts more than you'd think." His snarky smile was back. "But please, by all means, keep interrogating my apprentice."

Hermione just harrumphed to herself and ignored the antisocial Slytherins.

When the group arrived back in the Great Hall they noticed Nicholas and Minerva talking under a silencing and privacy charm. The students were all playing cards and board games.

Hermione felt a little fear when she heard Herman Crabbe asking a classmate, "I understand how to play Connect Four, I just don't see why the game is called that."

Nicholas could apparently sense the professor's return and dispelled the charms around him and Minerva. Hermione had a saccharine sweet smile on her face and she promptly deposited herself right into Nicholas' lap. She kissed him very passionately marking her territory before turning to the deputy Headmistress. "Oh I'm sorry, Minnie. Sometimes I forget I'm in public when I'm around this hot hunk of man."

Nicholas cheerfully added. "I have that same problem."

Hermione was slightly disappointed by the lack of incensed anger from the Transfiguration Professor.

"Understandable, Hermy," Minerva said with an equally fake smile. "I would imagine being so young and inexperienced might bring out the instinctive territorial side of you around someone as distinguished as Professor Flamel."

"Distinguished," Nicholas repeated. "What a wonderful euphemism for geezer. Tell me Her-my-on-my-knee, is Daddy going to need to start spanking you, or will you inform us of where Mr. Potter is now?" Nicholas managed to successfully redirect the two staff member's ire his way.

Hermione blushed a bit thinking before shyly responding, "He's working on the wards now. Seems to think he'll be out of it for a couple days."

Nicholas nodded. "Funny thing about Harry, is he's usually right. Though he may surprise even himself."

Minerva asked, "Will we be able to notice the changes while he's redoing the wards?"

Nicholas considered the question and responded, "If I were to just make a guess, I would say… Yes."

Right as he said the word Yes, the entire castle of Hogwarts flashed a quick bright white light. Nothing blinding, but a bit disorienting. People looked around amazed to see the entire castle appeared to be made of glass now as they could see, slightly distorted in every direction. Several students in nearby bathrooms began shrieking. Harry's voice echoed throughout the Hall, "Oops. Sorry." Another white flash and the castle appeared normal again. "My bad," the echoing voice of the Defense Professor added.

Hermione inquired about her ring and ability to cast magic. Nicholas explained to her that the ring on her wand, should be able to channel the magic through her actual wand, and that there was a massive amount of magic stored within it. The majority of it being unspecific as possible and the triggers were the usual magical incantations.

Hermione sent a tickling charm at Nicholas who just let the spell hit him and he sarcastically said, "Hardy-har-har." She turned to the Headmaster and cast a cheering charm.

He sat there and took the spell, which unfortunately caused boils to appear all over him.

"I am so so sorry," Hermione began to immediately apologize and cast the counter to what she assumed was a common boil-making curse. This had the result of causing even more boils to appear on the old man.

Hermione then tried Finite, Finite Incantatem, and even Nagana-Hoogana-Ragana. Each spell just caused more and more boils to appear on the frustrated and pained Headmaster.

Nicholas was snickering as quietly as he could, while the rest of the staff just watched in shock.

Hermione was panicking and snapped at her giggling old boyfriend, Furnunculus, the boil producing curse.

Nicholas stuck his hand out and took the curse on his hand. Boils popped up all over it. He quickly countered them after it had been shown the curse worked.

Finally Hermione had the bright idea and cast Furnunculus at the Headmaster. He just whimpered and took the spell, which had the unfortunate result of him growing boils on his boils.

Nicholas stopped Hermione from causing the Headmaster any more pain and removed the boils from Albus. His lips were twitching as he explained, "It appears Mr. Potter put some sort of selective jinx on that ring for Albus. My apologies Headmaster. I seem to be unable to spot Mr. Potter's subtleties in my old age."

Albus just grumbled when Nicholas whispered, "Besides I owed you for Minnie."

One student came up to his former Defense Professor and asked why the rings worked with normal spell incantations but the thin brown sticks didn't. Nicholas just smiled and said, "Well, we don't want the people using them to get confused." This of course only confused the student.

Throughout the rest of the day, the castle occasionally shook with power and flashes of light were erupting all over the place. Around six o'clock the Defense Professor's voice was heard one last time. The fatigue was obvious in his trembling. "Thank you and good night." Hogwarts seemed to swell with warmth and joy, and everyone in the castle knew the work on the wards was done.

No one was able to locate the Defense Professor after that, but they assumed Hogwarts was keeping him somewhere safe to recuperate.

Day two of 'muggle' Hogwarts dawned bright and early. The house elves were running around delivering breakfast trays of food, frustrated at their inability to magic it places, but still loyal and tireless workers. The students looked up, wondering where the post was this morning. Albus asked Nicholas about this and he replied, "Albus, you know owls use their own innate magic to determine where to deliver mail."

Albus nodded. "Ahh, so there's probably hundreds of owls either on the edge of the bomb's effects or flying around aimlessly on the grounds."

Nicholas concurred and went back to his breakfast.

Albus figured it was worth a shot, and aimed his thin brown stick in the air, "Come here post owls!" The ensuing havoc the spell caused provided enormous amusement to just about everyone not named Albus Dumbledore. Needless to say, the house elves ran out of bacon and the Headmaster needed to bathe and change his robes immediately.

Hermione found her copy of the Daily Prophet and read the front page.

Intensive Muggle Studies Weekend Excursion at Hogwarts!

Hogwarts and Hogsmeade are covered in a nullification field preventing all forms of magic. According to sources, the nullification field is rumored to last until Sunday morning. There is little threat of attack, as even Dark Wizards would be unable to perform any magic in the area. Even one family of muggles stumbled its way into Hogsmeade, but the absence of magic just saw them turn around to leave fearing voodoo and strange cults.

It appears the cause of the nullification field is a secret research project between Defense Professor and Savior of the Wizarding World, Harry Potter and former Defense Professor and legendary iconic hero, Nicholas Flamel. Both leaders of the project were unavailable for comment, or so it is assumed as no post owls nor floos could reach them at press time.

Some members of the Ministry are drawing similarities to events that happened at the Ministry of Magic over a year ago. A level of house-elf terror alert orange was declared purely as a precautionary measure.

Hermione shook her head at the Ministry's ineptitude though she couldn't help but smile when she saw Dobby dressed up like a bright orange conquering hero. His sword was tied to his scabbard and he was scaring a few of the younger years.

Ginny arrived that afternoon and joined just about everyone in the Great Hall. "Hey guess what? I can see the thestrals!"

Nicholas considered and said, "That seems logical if their innate magic is what makes them invisible."

Ginny added, "I also saw what looked like a large group of eight foot tall gigantic hamsters."

Severus paled and slunk down into his seat.

Nicholas picked up an a stray thought from the unprotected mind of the Potions Master and asked, "Were they dancing and calling for Severus?"

Professor Snape made a painful whimper in his seat, while Ginny just shook her head a bit unsure about Nicholas.

Nicholas smiled brightly and turned to Albus, "Headmaster, I had no idea, but it sounds like you may have some of the mythical ancestors of Demiguises living in the forest here. I truly thought they were just legend."

Albus smiled cheerfully. "I wonder what other surprises may be uncovered in the forest."

Nicholas shrugged. "I think it might not necessarily be safe to find out. I would imagine invisible creatures wouldn't be too pleased at the moment."

Ginny interrupted, "So where's my afternoon date hiding out at? Or is he going to cancel on account of the Intensive Muggle Studies?"

Albus replied, "I'm afraid he is indisposed at the moment. He completely redid the wards on Hogwarts yesterday and is recuperating somewhere unknown to us."

Ginny frowned. "He promised me he'd let me know if he had to cancel." Ginny smiled viciously. "Guess I'll just have to make him regret breaking his promise."

"Whoa, whoa! Settle down, Gin!" an unexpected voice rang out and a floating apparition of Harry appeared in front of her.

"Harry!" Ginny and Hermione and Tonks all shrieked out at the sight of a ghost of Harry Potter. The student body was unsure whether to be scared, sad, or laughing at the appearance of the incorporeal Defense Professor. Scared for a variety of reasons, sad because he was probably dead, and laughing because he was essentially naked and wearing a sheet wrapped around him like an oversized diaper.

Nicholas chuckled at his alter ego's appearance. It is much easier to laugh at one's self when you can observe yourself from an outside point of view.

Ginny trembled. "Are you d- d- dead?"

Harry shook his head and smiled. "No, no. I'm not dead."

Tonks trembled. "Then how are you a ghost?"

Harry smiled. "Just a sort of unconscious astral projection. I'm only in a slight magical coma. Once my reserves build back up, I'll wake up right as rain."

Hermione trembled. "Umm… your clothes?"

Ghostly Harry grumbled. "Not my choice. And I can't do any magic, nor can ghosts change their clothes. And for you information, even castles are particularly sensitive about their age. One little comment and she said she'd treat me like I apparently deserved."

Albus, while chuckling at his appearance, frowned playfully and said, "Why do you get all the cool abilities? No one else gets to be a ghost when they're in magical comas."

Harry raised an eyebrow at the Headmaster. "You ever hear of Karma?"

Albus nodded.

"Well, I figure she met the Dursleys." Harry said with a cold look at the Headmaster. "Something you seem to have neglected to do for the first decade or so of my life."

Albus looked a bit ashamed but grumbled an angry, "You're welcome," at Harry.

"You know they say nothing is more precious than the innocence of a child." Nicholas added with a smirk. "Of course the people who say things like that also think Love would be a power to overcome a Dark Lord." Nicholas made a scoffing motion of his hand and muttered, "pshaw."

"Anyways, Ginny, I'm not sure I am actually recuperating when I'm projecting like this, so I am very sorry, but I think magical comas excuse me from being unable to contact you."

Ginny grudgingly agreed.

"Although, I'm out of it and can't physically move, so if you wanted to fondle me, I could probably float next to you and cheer you on." The ghostly Harry shrugged.

"Naw, that's okay." Ginny said. "But you owe me for missing our date."

"Thank you sweetie," Harry said and kissed Ginny on the cheek. Ginny only felt the slight cold of a ghost's touch and smiled. Harry continued, "Alright guys, I need to get back into my body and replenishing my reserves, because I've probably got another two days of coma. My classes Monday can be covered by Nicholas, since this is all his fault-"

"No, it's your fault." Nicholas muttered back.

"No, it's your fault." Harry immediately mumbled in reply.

"No, it's your fa-"

"No, it's your-"

"No, it's y-"

"Children!" Minnie yelled, stopping the pair.

Harry smiled at Minnie and winked. "Want one?"

Minerva's lips thinned into a stern look. "I'm considering it."

Harry smiled brilliantly. "Wonderful! I should wake up late Monday afternoon, I'm hoping. How about you and me go for a visit during dinner?"

Minerva nodded with a slight smile.

"Splendid. Toodles all!" And just like that, the ghostly Harry disappeared from the Great Hall.

Albus frowned. "I still don't see why he gets to do everything. Karma be damned, his childhood wasn't that bad."

And on a perfectly sunny Saturday afternoon, a temporarily muggle Albus Dumbledore was struck by lightning, despite being indoors.